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 Two Scoops: March 16, 2009 columns
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Say it ain't so: the Chandlers and the Cortlandts are broke?
For the Week of March 16, 2009
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Hey everyone. I'm back after a one-week break. A lot of interesting things have happened in the past two weeks, and I thank Liz for filling in for me while I was celebrating my birthday. There isn't much to celebrate in Pine Valley lately. Families are broke, couples are breaking up, doctors are shipping off to war zones, fires are gutting mansions, women have been blinded, and... whoo. Let's take a deep breath and jump right in.
Hey everyone. I'm back after a one-week break. A lot of interesting things have happened in the past two weeks, and I thank Liz for filling in for me while I was celebrating my birthday. There isn't much to celebrate in Pine Valley lately. Families are broke, couples are breaking up, doctors are shipping off to war zones, fires are gutting mansions, women have been blinded, and... whoo. Let's take a deep breath and jump right in.


According to soapologists, a happy couple makes a boring couple. Perhaps that the reason that Zach and Kendall can never seem to find true happiness. I know that the subject of "Zendall" is such a touchy topic for so many viewers. If you don't like Zach and Kendall together, you might as well say that you hate puppies and babies. What I think nearly every viewer can agree on is that despite being married for nearly three years, Zach and Kendall have never really been happy - and if they have, it's never been for more than a few blinks of an eye.


Zach is dark and brooding, a lot like most of the men in Pine Valley. Kendall is stubborn, but still acting out from, what I believe, are years and years of being hurt. To a certain extent, their troubled relationship reminds me of Dimitri and Erica's relationship from a bunch of years ago. Erica and Dimitri had so many issues. Hell, Erica and all of her husbands have had "so many issues." Still, Erica and Dimitri were a wildly popular couple in spite of their differences and problems.


There is good news in this. With Thorsten Kaye re-signing with All My Children, it would appear that all hope is not lost on the couple. Of course, we don't know how long Kaye will be sticking around, but at least there is a glimmer of hope for "Zendall" fans.


There does not appear to be any glimmers -- even a glimmer of a glimmer -- for the Cortlandts. In the course of 24 hours, they went from being one of Pine Valley's wealthiest families to one of the poorest. Though it wasn't quite Madoff in nature, the Cortlandts' vast fortune has been whittled away to almost nothing. From the way Adam has been talking lately, I'm sure we all thought that he'd be the first to end up in the poor house. Palmer has been broke before, though. About a decade ago - give or take - he had to work at the Chicken Shack to make a few bucks. Somehow, Palmer turned his chicken franchise into big clucks and landed back on top. Peter has the potential to be just as ballsy as his old man, so I am sure he can invent something to recoup the family jewels.


I don't know how All My Children will change if it no longer has rich businesspeople. I've come to take for granted that no one in Pine Valley really works, goes to the bathroom, locks their door, or gets a cold.


I am really troubled by Annie and Aidan having sexual relations in a mental health facility. I think it actually bothers me more than a cuckoo shrink roaming around with a hidden video camera and secret agendas. There doesn't appear to be the viewer outrage about "redeeming" Annie as there has been with previous villains and villainesses. Maybe her crimes weren't bad enough? Or maybe viewers don't dislike Annie as much as other baddies (or they might not care about her at all).


Here's my question and hopefully someone out there is a lawyer. Why is the show so hell-bent on saying that Annie is going to jail for the rest of her life? It seems to me like people are getting off on insanity defenses left and right. She was nuts when she killed Richie and tried to kill half the town, but now she's fine. Had she not been loony, she never would have done what she'd done. Isn't there a loophole for that? Don't worry. This is all hypothetical. I'm not doing any sort of planning!


I'm not sure when it happened, but suddenly Natalia doesn't annoy me. If given the proper storyline, she might even become an interesting character. Again, not to imply that storylines are being recycled, but this very much reminds me of a storyline from the 1990s when Taylor Roxbury-Cannon strolled into town as a spoiled brat only to become a police officer for the Pine Valley Police Department. Granted, Natalia wasn't spoiled financially, but she definitely had some of that spoiled only child thing going. Now, she's become a cop and perhaps her life has turned around. I also like the way that Natalia and Randi interact. It's sort of a sisterly bond, which is nice.


What's with the breaking of glassware lately? First, Reese was rendered blind by a crystal bar set and then Krystal was clobbering Tad with a pitcher. I know I mentioned missing the Crystal Ball a few columns back, but I wasn't encouraging the destruction of stemware!


If you are so inclined, feel free to take a sip of your favorite beverage every time someone makes a comment that foreshadows David being whacked. Amanda's bedside deposition made for a very dramatic viewing. We knew that David wanted Amanda to lie for him. But Amanda struggled to find the "no" when asked if David had ever paid her to try to get JR to drink. There was so much pause that I half-expected her to blurt out "Yes! Yes he paid me and I hate him for it!" But Amanda didn't go that route. As her reward, David spilled the beans that Amanda was carrying his baby, not JR's. Wow. What made the scene even better was that as David and a stunned Krystal walked away, you could still hear Amanda screaming her hatred for David from down the hall. Not to be outdone, there was even more emotion as JR told Amanda that he was saying goodbye to her.


Now, Amanda wants to get rid of the baby. The only question that remains, I suppose, is if she does terminate the baby, will it shown up in 10 years as a fully grown adult? Hopefully, that's not a mistake that AMC will make again.



dan


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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