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 Two Scoops: April 17, 2006 columns
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Terri Colombino
Oakdale (not so) confidential
For the Week of April 17, 2006
It turns out that Katie is the anonymous author. Apparently, she took a break between aerobics classes and wedding planning to write a novel. Impressive.
The line between fiction and fact is often blurred. For the residents of Oakdale, that lesson hit home this week, as a new book "Oakdale Confidential" became the talk of town. [For more on the book and how you can win an autographed copy, please click here.]Oakdale denizens are the main characters in the page-turner, and apparently they're upset that the fictitious story is a little too true. Someone needs to give Mike Kasnoff a sedative. Seriously, the dude is freaking out.

Kudos to the writers for this intricate story. (Pun intended.)This book is revitalizing the show and bringing in periphery characters that we don't get to see often enough. (Hello, Nancy and Lisa!) It's also creating conflict for Mike and Katie and plenty of other townsfolk.

It turns out Katie is the anonymous author. I guess she took a break between aerobics classes and wedding planning to write a novel. Impressive. I can't wait for the fallout as more people learn who the real author is. Note to Katie: If you run into Carly in the next few weeks, take cover. Carly's already in a foul mood and whatever is in that juicy little novel is just going to make it worse.


Meanwhile:
--Thanks to all of you who sent in your guesses the last few weeks as to who wrote "Oakdale Confidential." Your leading contenders were Henry, Simon, Damian, Nancy, Maddie and Carly. It looks like we were all wrong. Don't you just love that?

--I can't wait for Gwen to sing at the new club. Is anyone else anxious to see she and the other "kitties" take the stage? I can already hear Barbara's snarky comments. Meow!

--I'd almost forgotten that Dusty was still being held captive. This silly story needs to end, now, so Emily can reclaim her brain. I think this tale may be one of the worst of all time, right up there with the rabbit-stalking Pilar.

--Note to Carly: when staging a house "emergency" to get your ex home to fix it, make sure you hide the evidence of your tampering. Come on, Carly. That's soap opera 101. I expected more from a seasoned trickster such as yourself.

--So, Mike hid some rubies for a con woman, who it turns out may be buried in the wall of Carly's house. Interesting. It's almost like a pirate story. We have treasure, a skeleton and a mystery. I love a good mystery as much as the next gal, and that skeleton was creepy, with a capital C.

--I enjoyed the fight between Mike and Katie this week. They need some drama to spice up their relationship. Frankly, I was getting a little bored with their perfect life. Bring on the skeletons in the closet. (Bad joke. I know.)

--The continuity folks screwed up this week with Paul's appearance, and it made me chuckle. He left Emily and Henry at the hotel sporting a mustache, beard and dirty hair, but showed up a few minutes later at Meg's room clean-shaven and pretty. Two Scoops reader Marie also noticed and observed that apparently, "Paul Ryan is one of those dangerous drivers who shaves and washes his hair while driving down the freeway." Well said, Marie!

--Simon alert. Simon alert. Katie mentioned his name this week, and we all know what that means. It's usually a good sign that a character is headed home. Cross your fingers, Scoopers.

--If Mike is Mr. Construction, shouldn't he know to wear a dust mask or goggles when chopping into an old wall for demolition?

--Say it with me, EWWWW! I can't be the only won grossed out by Paul and Meg's half-naked romp, just hours after he'd had sex with Emily. This story gets wackier and wackier each week. I'm annoyed that Paul falls in and out of love so often. First it was Rose, then Rosanna, then Emily and now Meg. I think the guy needs a hobby.

--That was a weird moment between Emily and Henry this week that left me screaming, "Noooo!!!" I definitely picked up a vibe between them with all that talk of "friendship." As much as I would like to see Henry become a true leading man, I don't want it to be with Emily. She's wackier than Katie ever was on her worst day. Run, Henry. Run!

--Hasn't Meg learned that you don't sass your mama? Kudos to Emma for calling Meg out when she got snippy. No one disrespects Miss Emma. No one.

--The divorce-papers scene between the Snyders this week was hard to watch. Jack and Carly are so good when they're apart. No one does hurt like Maura West and Michael Park. Bravo.

--It looks like Will and Gwen are headed for a bumpy road. Casey and Gwen seem to be bonding over music and Maddie's already feeling insecure. I smell trouble.

--Was anyone else hoping Jade spilled that nail polish on Lily's new carpet, just so we could see Lily lose it? I'm enjoying that Jade is tweaking Lily's last nerve.

--Henry is now an accessory to setting up Meg. Great. Oh, Martini Man, will you ever learn your lesson? Just because a beautiful blonde orders you to do something, you don't have to play ball. Before you know it, you're dressing in drag and crashing planes on to deserted islands.

--Paul gets the award for understatement of the week for his comment about Emily: "That's one thing I learned. You cross that woman then be prepared to die." So true. Right Dusty?


Best Lines of the Week:
(Casey goads Maddie into falsely admitting she wrote "Oakdale Confidential.")
Maddie: "Why'd you have to act like I couldn't have possibly written this book? I never would have spoken up."
Casey: "I was kind of surprised that I'm dating a girl that can write a book."
Maddie: "Yeah, no wonder. You're used to girls who can't even read books."


(Emily tells Henry she's thought of a way to get rid of Meg.)
Emily: "I have a risk-free scheme."
Henry: "That's an oxymoron, Emily. Emphasis on moron."


(Emily tries to force her prisoner, Dusty, to change his clothes.)
Emily: "Strip."
Dusty: "Not tonight, honey. I've got a headache."
Emily: "Well, I've got a gun. Guess who wins?"


Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Marie)
"I'm not a prude but am I the only one who found Friday's episode (April 7) to be on the edge of an R rating for the multiple scenes of near-nudity? I can't decide which one disgusted me more: Jade in her thong or Emily in her birthday suit. And there was Katie in her bra not to mention next week's preview with Meg likewise unclothed. In many cases these days the only "talent" most actresses have is under their clothing. That is certainly not the case with these people. We don't need to be treated to nudity on a program that has gone 50 years without going this far."

(From Two Scoops reader Mary)
"I wish Will would start acting like an adult. He is married now. I'm tired of his whining. He is so mad at what Paul did and can't forgive him. I guess he forgot that he killed Paul's girlfriend, and Paul forgave him and was always there for him. Its time to grow up Will, and act like a man and not a baby. You are getting so hard to watch."

(From Two Scoops reader Muryum) "I could have just died when I watched Jack leave Carly this past week on ATWT. It was heartbreaking! And although everyone seems to think that it's all Carly's fault because she never learns, like Jack, I'm always willing to forgive her! She is just a woman who was overwhelmed with guilt about her husband (whom she adores!) losing his job (which he loves). She was being blamed left right and center by all Oakdale inhabitants for his firing, so it's no wonder why she did what she did. Let's not forget that it's Carly we're talking about who jumps into things, with good intentions not thinking of the consequences. She is really just a loving wife at heart. Further more, the lives of Jack and Carly haven't been stable since he went off that bridge last summer and married that horror movie Julia! Let's all hope that from here on in Jack and Carly can rebuild."


Happy Easter, Scoopers! Go easy on the peeps and chocolate bunnies.
Jennifer Biller


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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