Diamonds are a girl's best friend, unless you're Carly Snyder and sleeping with Simon Frazier. Then, diamonds may get you 10 years in maximum security. Simon's stones have caused nothing but trouble, since he plotted to steal them.

I'm not sure who is the bigger fool in this mess: Carly or Simon. He was so arrogant that he actually gave Carly one of the stolen gems to wear around her neck, and she is so dazzled by Simon that she actually participated in the heist and had the audacity to wear her new bauble.

Yes, they've realized their error, and traded the stone for a fake, but it's probably too late, as Sage found the real diamond and has named it her "magic crystal." Oh, it's magic alright. It has the magic to put mommy in jail for a long time.

In other musings:
--With the rapid rate that the kids in Oakdale are ageing these days, Craig and Dusty can relax. Little Johnny will be old enough to be his own guardian in a few months.

--Go Emma! It takes a lot to get Mama Snyder riled, but Paul did it when he lied to her daughter. Emma's fierce face-off with Barbara this week, about Paul, proved Emma is still a force. Not many people can win an argument with Barbara Ryan, and I didn't expect it from a woman who spends most of her days in an apron.

--Lily Snyder, I feel your pain. Who doesn't fret over what to wear to an important event, especially when you've put on a few pounds and your favorite dress no longer fits.

--Katie should change her nickname from "Bubbles" to "V" for vengeance. The woman is unrelenting in her mission to put Simon in jail. But it doesn't matter if the sexy Aussie gets sent up the river or not, in my opinion. Mike isn't going to take her back.

--Meg should consider herself lucky to have escaped her wedding to Paul with only a broken heart. His last two fiancées didn't fare as well: one ended up six-feet under and the other ended up packing a pistol and plugging him in the back with a bullet. All Meg has to do is return the wedding gifts. I'd say that's a win.

--Note to Paul: When you don't have at least one friend in town to fill your best-man position, it's time to start being a little nicer to the locals.

--Does anyone have any idea what Holden is doing with that saucy blonde? I don't buy for a minute that it has anything to do with horse-trading, unless that's a new euphemism for flirting. Do you really think he's cheating? I can't believe he'd go there, especially after Lily's near-death experience. Theories? Speculation?

--Casey's quest for cash is the latest social plot to hit Oakdale. It seems the young co-ed has developed a gambling addiction at the university. Kudos for this timely storytelling, as many gambling addicts are using the Internet and their college money to feed their addiction. Casey needs a gamblers anonymous meeting, pronto, and a swift kick in the hiney by his parents.

--Where is Maddie? Yes Casey has been busy playing Texas Hold 'Em online, but she and Henry could at least have coffee and a bagel sometime. I'm just saying.

-- The newly aged Faith looks so much like Lily it's scary. And this new Faith is quite observant, too. I fear Lily and Holden are going to have some trouble with this one.

--The insensitivity award goes to Katie this week, yet again, for her classless behavior toward Henry. During their tête-à-tête early this week, she made the comment that Mike was her one and only chance at true love. Why doesn't she just drive spikes under Henry's nails already? I never thought I'd see the day when I'd want Henry to turn his back on Katie, but that day has come. She doesn't deserve his friendship.

--It's been quite a while since I've liked a new player in Oakdale so much that I wanted to keep her from the minute I saw her. Enter Vienna Hyatt. I love this gal. Thank you to show execs for bringing her back to town. Oh, Scoopers, she looks good with my Henry! Could it be my beloved martini man has found a love interest worthy of his double-dealing ways and his tall stature? I've been waiting months for Henry to meet Vienna, but I didn't envision it happening while Henry was in one of his silly disguises. Nonetheless, Henry still made it work. Curse Katie for interrupting his potential swim with the hottie. Bring on Hienna, Envy, or Venry or whatever cute, couple name soap fans can come up with for this duo.

--At this point does anyone really care who gets custody of little Johnny? Enough already.

--Good for Emily for finding what's left of her brain and spilling the beans about Paul's fondness for attempted murder to Meg. Paul's giddy, enamored schoolboy act gets old. He is best when he's tortured. Perhaps he and Emily really are meant to be. She loves him, despite his morally challenged ways.

--Simon's new haircut is adorable and goes with the rest of him. No wonder he can get normally sane women to do ridiculous things for him. I feel for you Carly. One look into that gorgeous face, and I'd probably be stealing diamonds, too.

Best Lines of the Week:
(Katie calls Henry for help and comes rushing in to ask what's wrong.)
Henry: "Simon and Carly, are they suing you for defamation of character?"

Katie: "What character? No this is a little more interesting. Guess who showed up in town?"
Henry: "Cher, on a final, final goodbye farewell tour, please?"

(Holden has a talk with Paul, before the wedding, to warn him not to hurt Meg.)
Holden: "I don't like you."
Paul: "Well, nobody does."

Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Frankie)
"I'm kinda' liking the new Adam, but has anyone else noticed how much he looks like Chris Isaac?(the singer/actor) On another note, I am really finding it hard to believe that Carly would be so taken in by Simon. The Carly I know would have told him to take a hike long ago. I realize this storyline is likely leading up to Maura West leaving, since she is pregnant in real life, but there are so many more plausible ways they could have done this. Was turning her into a jewel thief really necessary? Walking away from Jack when he told her he still loved her and wanted her back was over the top. Who would believe she would ever choose Simon over Jack? It truly makes me sad when beloved characters, that we know so well, change their basic personality and behavior overnight."

(From Two Scoops reader Mary)
"I hope you are wrong about Adam and Gwen. I was hoping that Adam and Jade might pair up. I thought that they had chemistry. Of courses the actor who play Adam is changing. But, I am tired of doomed relationships Gwen, Will, Carly, Jack etc. And where is Casey and Maddie. The scribes either ruin their relationships or back burner them. The only happy couples are those you never see: Bob Kim, I guess Tom and Margo. Makes me wonder why I watch. If a viewer is looking for romance, ATWT is not the show to watch."

That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller