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 Two Scoops: February 5, 2007 columns
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Mick Hazen
Cranky kids
For the Week of February 5, 2007
Is anyone else worried that Parker is going to grow up to be another Unabomber? He's understandably angry, but his comment last week that he liked science class because he likes to blow up stuff might be a red flag.
The line to put a beatdown on Adam Munson starts here. Never in the history of the show have I wanted a villain to get his comeuppance as much as I do this guy. Strange, considering that a few years ago, I loved him as the sweet, geeky teen dating Abigail. But, this Adam isn't the guy we remember. He's a morally bankrupt sleaze, who makes Craig Montgomery look like a paragon of virtue.

Here's the problem with Adam. When the folks we love in Oakdale get off track, i.e. Craig, Carly, Emily, Paul, Barbara, etc., we can usually understand why they went astray. They do it for love or to try to hold on to someone or something. And most of the time, we forgive them. But, Adam's betrayal isn't for love (he just met Gwen), or out of a need to hold on to his business. (If so, he would have been more financially savvy with the demo money.) Adam's motivation is simply spite and jealously. He clearly covets his brother's wife and, apparently, his life. I can't justify any part of Adam's scheme to make Will look like a thief. It's just pure Machiavellian.

If the goal of NuAdam was to introduce a new villain, who we love to hate, then it failed miserably. Because frankly, I just hate him. There's not an ounce of love. I can't find a spark of humanity in the guy, underneath all that whining and plotting, or even a glimpse of the old Adam. He knows the hell that Will went through this year, losing his father and his sister. But, instead of bonding about their common losses, Adam decided to add a little more torture to the already tortured Will. What makes it even more of a tragedy is that Adam knows Will's mental history. My only ray of optimism for this storyline is that Adam's partnership with drunken Iris will be his undoing. That crazy gal is as ruthless as he is.


Meanwhile:
--Is anyone else worried that Parker is going to grow up to be another Unabomber? He's so angry, since his dad died and his mom left, and that's understandable. But, his comment this week that he liked science class because he likes "to blow up stuff" has me worried. Oakdale P.D., you have been warned.

--The Snyder clan needs to hire Super Nanny 911. Pronto. Parker and Faith were so rude, mean, and disrespectful to their parents this week that I felt sorry for Jack, Holden, and Lily. Kudos to the writing staff for writing such realistic dialogue and showing us how difficult parenting can be, when life doesn't turn out the way you planned. And kudos to the child actors for tossing around all that attitude and making me want to give them a time out.

--Welcome Brad Snyder, a.k.a. the "black sheep" of the Snyder clan! Now here's a guy I think I'm going to love to hate. He's cocky, lazy, not politically correct, and obviously a player. And he makes no apologies for any of it. Plus, I just love how he tweaks Jack.

--Lily's diet pills are already making her a little nutty. She completely lost it during Brad's welcome-home dinner, when he made an off-the-cuff comment about her "queer" eye decorating style. Um, Lily, the term comes from a show on the Bravo? Network called Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. It wasn't meant as a slur toward Luke. Holden and Luke were right to defend Brad on this one. He wasn't making a bigoted comment or spewing hatred toward Luke. Brad is insensitive, certainly, but Lily's knee-jerk reaction was over the top. I wouldn't want to see Brad get labeled as the Isaiah Washington of Oakdale and be sent away to rehab, before we even get a chance to know him again.

--Did you get whiplash last week from Katie and Mike's reconciliation/breakup? One minute they were confessing their love and making plans, and the next they called it quits, with hardly a tear shed. It takes longer for Casey to play a game of online poker than it took them to end their union. Weird.

--I always thought Margo was the perfect mom. But, one of her sons is a gambling-addict-turned-thief, and the other is a spiteful brat who's trying to make his brother look like a thief and then steal his wife. Poor Margo. Where did she go wrong?

--So, Daniel survives a kidnapping only to ditch Oakdale and head to boarding school? Um, okay. You'd think he'd want to be around family and friends. Then again, maybe not, considering Margo's track record at child rearing. (See the aforementioned comment.) Perhaps Tom is onto something with this parenting from afar idea.

--Did you spot Chris Hughes (actor Bailey Chase) on Ugly Betty the other night as a womanizing photojournalist? He was fantastic. If they'd written Chris with one ounce of the charm that guy was spewing, he'd probably still be in Oakdale.

--If you haven't heard, the role of Dallas has been recast. Say it with me, Scoopers, "NOOOO!" Duane McLaughlin was so good. Well, what little we actually saw of him was. What a waste of talent. I'm not sure if McLaughlin wanted out of Oakdale, due to his perpetual simmer on the backburner, or if it was an executive decision to replace him. Regardless, we, the viewers, are the ultimate losers.

--Way to go Parker for putting Katie in her place. I know it wasn't Katie's fault that Carly committed a crime, but Katie set the whole thing in motion and then ratted out Carly and Simon to the cops. She shouldn't come off guilt-free in this mess. Her actions inevitably led to a family breaking up, and good for Parker for showing her the consequences.

--Barbara is an incredible mother-in-law. Who knew? She wasn't so great as a mother, but she's certainly turned a corner. Her supportive talks with Gwen, not to mention her financial support, have helped redeem Barbara as a once morally challenged gal.

--Thank you, show execs, for keeping Vienna in town. The softer Vienna is working as well as diva Vienna does. But, I blinked and apparently missed it when she fell in love with Jack. I don't think I'm alone in saying, "huh?" How did that happen? I'm not buying it. And now that she's off to the Lakeview, is it too much to ask that she run into Henry at the bar? I'm begging here, folks.

--Meg Snyder has sold her soul to the devil, otherwise known as Craig Montgomery. She can't be so na´ve as to think that his creative journal writing comes with no strings. If so, she deserves what she's going to get.

--The award for worst wife goes to Gwen Munson this week. Shame on Gwen for not believing Will. She knows how he hates taking charity from his mother, yet Gwen chose to believe he'd willingly take the cash and tank her career as a bonus. Will stood by Gwen when the whole town labeled her a harlot and a bad mother, during that whole custody drug mess with Carly. She should have given him the benefit of the doubt this time. Yes, he lied in the past, but she said that she'd forgiven him. I guess Gwen was the one not telling the truth.

--Just when you think Emily is pulling it together, she goes Pretty Woman on us. That scene with "Steve" made me want to take a shower. Ewww.


Best Lines of the Week:
(Brad degrades Jack to Vienna, after Jack asks Vienna to move out of the Snyder farmhouse.)
Brad: "Kicking a beautiful woman out of the house. (to Vienna) He hasn't had this much fun since he busted Grandma for jaywalking."

That's all for now, Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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