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 Two Scoops: July 20, 2009 columns
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Mick Hazen
Interventions, cliffhangers, and campy drama
For the Week of July 20, 2009
Parker's despair over his mother's alcoholism was written all over his face and laced in every syllable he spoke, and his eyes were fearful and tortured as he pleaded with his mother to get help.
As Amy Winehouse famously sang, "They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said, 'No, no, no,'" so goes the story of Carly Tenney. The Snyder kids can stop living in fear now that their mother is going to replace all the cereal, snacks, and cake mix in the cabinet with vodka; Carly is off to rehab.

What a fantastic week of drama fans received, as Carly had a final bender with some cooking wine, and her family staged an intervention. Maura West, Michael Park, and Jon Lindstrom were, as always, superb, but it was young Mick Hazen who really stole the spotlight. Parker's despair over his mother's alcoholism was written all over his face and laced in every syllable he spoke, as was the guilt that he had for fear that he had contributed to her problem. His eyes were fearful and tortured as he pleaded with his mother to get help. The intervention was tough to watch, as Carly lashed out at Jack, Rosanna, and Craig, before Parker stopped her cold at the door and refused to let her leave. I had chills. This was the ATWT I've missed and have been begging to see for months. I know the show can't have scenes like this every day, but what a payoff when it does. Thank you, writers and actors for delivering such moving drama. Bravo!


Meanwhile:
• --Is it wrong I was actually hoping that bomb would go off and take Meg out? Don't hate me, but seriously, this woman has somehow turned some of the coolest men in Oakdale into brainless lovesick fools. (Damian and Dusty, I'm talking to you.)

• --Welcome back Friday cliffhanger! It's been a long time since I've actually been anxious to see a Monday show after a Friday cliffhanger on ATWT. But, I'm counting the hours until Monday. For poor Henry, the jig is up. (Or maybe I should say, "The wig is up," considering that Vienna yanked off his wig to reveal that he's a he and not a she.) I cannot wait to see the fallout from Henry's double identity, especially when Vienna realizes he sabotaged her job because he selfishly became seduced by the bright spotlight of fame. Henry, pal, I don't think this is going to end well.

• --Brad Snyder has never been the sharpest tool in the shed. Cute, yes. Mensa, no. But his dimness truly came to light when he saw Henry rent the hotel room and emerge as Geneva. The fact that he would think Henry would hop into bed with Geneva, instead of the gorgeous Vienna, was silly enough, but he didn't at least consider that Henry was dressing up as Geneva?Well, it's a good thing Brad is pretty. That's all I'm saying.

• --Margo and Katie finally had some girl time to chat. Yay! And how great was the Barbara and Emma scene? Thank you, writers. It's about time.

• --Janet is a patient woman, but I'm glad to see she finally told Jack that she'd had enough of his meddling in Carly's bottomless pit of problems. The Janet I know wouldn't put up with Jack's constant lack of attention. I guess Janet can rest easy for a few months though, while Carly is at rehab. But lookout when Carly is clean and sober. We all know Jack and Carly are far from finished.

• --I told you Paul was superhuman! This time, Paul survived a deadly explosion from a bomb-ladened briefcase in his hand, and he didn't have a burn, blood spatter, torn piece of clothing, or a hair out of place. In fact, his hair was so perfect that he looked like he'd just gotten out of the stylist's chair. Could it be the microchip planted in his brain that allowed him to defy death at impossible odds?

• --Speaking of the microchip and Paul's 29 lives, it seems to me the show has taken "camp" to a new level lately. The characters travel by light speed from Oakdale to New York in a matter of minutes. Once again, one of them underwent brain surgery, but didn't have a shaved head or even a bandage. Brain surgery takes only a few minutes, and apparently that microchip must have been removed out of Paul's ear or nose, because he had no other incisions in his head. I'm just waiting for someone to break out in song any minute, and the campy-ness will be complete. I like camp in small doses, but I don't want ATWT turning into Passions.

• --Speaking of Paul's microchip, if the writers are using this as a way to reinvent Paul and erase all his wishy-washy behavior from the past few years, then perhaps it's a good move. (His character has had more twists and turns than a roller cosaster.) But here's what I don't want to see: Paul Ryan the good guy. Paul is best when he's a little edgy, a lot sarcastic, and baiting someone. Even better, would be if Paul is faking this whole amnesia thing, because that's so something James would do and in line with Paul's new persona as a villain.

• --Kim Huhges should be ashamed. Brad filed a sexual harrassment complaint against his co-worker that has generally been ignored. It was only a year ago when Brad was basically banned from his own show because his co-host, Spencer, filed a complaint against him (that turned out to be bogus.) This time, Brad was telling the truth, but Kim forced him to continue working with Geneva. Can you say double standard? Brad, I think you have yourself a lawsuit.

• --Did Damian plan to double cross Dusty all along in his vengeance scheme against Paul? I'm not sure if Damian is so calculating that he thought he could get Dusty out of Meg's life, if he let Dusty take the fall for the bombing, or if Damian truly just changed his mind about the plot at the last minute. Even more perplexing was Damian's declaration that, in the past, he would have had no problem in participating in a vengeance scheme, but that Meg had made him a changed man. Um, Damian, you've been sort-of dating Meg for less than three weeks. I know Meg is powerful, but this is crazy. Damian is a millionaire, well-traveled European, who must be used to beautiful, successful women. So, again, I say, "Are you kidding me?"

• --I enjoyed the Stewart family dinner drama this week. Susan, Emily, Larry, Hunter and Ali proved to be more dysfunctional than the Snyder clan.

• --Casey Hughes has a point. I can't blame the guy for being upset that his brother is getting a free pass for all of his mistakes, while Casey had to do time.

• --You'd think by now Dusty would be smart enough to plan a setup without getting caught. He tried a setup before, on Craig, when Dusty was helping Jennifer to try and get custody of Johnny. So, why would Dusty be so stupid as to leave a voice mail to incriminate himself? Bonnie, you're going to earn every penny for Dusty's defense this time around.

• --So, Luke Snyder doesn't want to go back to college. Perhaps his good-pal-and-fellow-drop-out Casey can show him the proper way to use a mop and bucket. I'm not saying everyone should go to college, but Luke has all the resources, brains, and drive it takes to succeed. What a waste. Then again, perhaps he and Casey will be the next Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, and Luke can tell me where to put my mop and bucket.


Best Lines of the Week:
(Dusty phones Paul and tells him to meet him but gives no other details about what it's concerning.)
Paul: "What do you want?"
Dusty: "We should talk."
Paul: "That's the part where we use words. You know that right?"


(Katie tries to berate Henry into ditching his cross-dressing Geneva Swift identity.)
Henry: "Don't you judge me, Katie Peretti Snyder. Your glass house has a lot of cracks."

Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops reader Robert.)
I loved today's (Tuesday, 7/14) ATWT. You were right about how good the confrontation of Carly was going to be. Everyone in that scene should at least get an Emmy nomination next year. I didn't expect Parker to play as much of a role in it as he did. It almost redeemed his character, and Mick (Hazen) was great. It was painful, though, to have to get interrupted by the other storyline today, more nonsense with Alison and Casey, this time involving Riley. Hopefully the shakeup in the writing team will revive (and even save) ATWT. Keep up the good work!

(From Two Scoops reader Mary.) I liked Allison better when she was a meth-head porn star. I would freak out if I found out I had the hots for my own bio-brother. She was way too calm in that scene. Put here back on drugs or put her in a coma until something more interesting can be written. Even Nancy Hughes has a better storyline than that, going to weddings and funerals!

That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller


Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.



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