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Jack Wagner
The scariest things
For the Week of November 1, 2004
It's frightening to think that the viewers are considered so lost and gullible that we will accept a Brooke clone with our favorite sea captain.
As I prepare for this year's scary neighborhood hauntings and avalanche of stale candy that lingers til Thanksgiving, I became inspired to examine all the terrifying things going on during our favorite half-hour. Be afraid, be very afraid.

10) Amber living at the Forrester compound. I never thought I would see her back there since her baby-charade she played on Rick back in the day. Guess Stephanie thinks it will help stop the horizontal mambo she's playing with Thomas, but it will just give them easier access. If nothing else, Amber brings that earthy trailer park air to the blue blood castle in Beverly Hills. Maybe a clothesline outside and a pick-up in the driveway are next on tap.

9) Felicia's upcoming exit. A scary thought, indeed. Rumor has it she won't be recast when Colleen Dixon leaves due to a tough bi-coastal commute. The bad thing here is that it once again showcases the poor writing decisions that has plagued this show for a couple of years. Bring someone on (or back, in this case) and then strip them of any interesting story they were a part of. Why? Only tricks for us viewers, right? So what happens to Nick?

8) Donna Logan hooking up with Nick? Here's another weird rumor...Donna being brought back to 'potentially' hook up with Nick? Why? It's frightening to think that the viewers are considered so lost and gullible that we will accept a Brooke clone with our favorite sea captain. Nope. I do want more Logan's to come back into the fold but not for this reason...a stand-in for Felicia and Brooke to keep Nick's toes warm in bed. Brooke will be jealous and hen we are all on the rollercoaster AGAIN. So terrifying, I can't look.

7) Ridge showing a little 'snow' on the roof? I never thought I would ever see the black hair dye get a break in Ridge's dressing room. The grays are suddenly not being hidden and Ridge is actually looking closer to his age (50's). Ok, so we have gone from the 70's lounge lizard chain-wearing pimp look to the gray-on-the-temples chisled older man look? Well, Richard Gere you are not but it is nice to see you being more realistic when you walk out onto the set. His head does have that 'ghostly' glow about it...

6) Jackie's spiral out of control. Oooh, scary. She's losing her mind and Deacon is leading the way. He's becoming the Deacon of old and she seems like she is frightened herself. I thought she would jump up into Nick's arms when he showed up last week. She truly believes Mass will recover and will likely be so lost and vulnerable that she ends up in a compromising situation with Deacon. Nick sees it and finally puts two and two together. I would be scared of that outcome. He'll lose his mind and Deacon could lose an appendage. Deacon, take the advice of the Amityville ghosts...GET OUT!

5) Eeeek! Those designs on the runway! Don't get me wrong, I liked the fashion show but those dresses make me run for the crosses and garlic! YIKES! I think everyone needs to go back to the drawing board. How about that feather wedding dress? Going for that white cockatiel look, are we? Now all it needs is some newspaper underneath it and the look is complete!

4) Eric acting like a parent. Maybe this shouldn't qualify as scary, but I was shocked at the very least to see him finally acknowledge Thorne as a valuable member of the family. Ok, Ridge can design well (I guess) but when you have several kids, all should be recognized for their individual talents, whatever they may be. Scary to think it took him this long. And woe be to him when Spectra overshadows Forrester.

3) Ridge overhearing Eric after the show. Chilling describes the look on Ridge's face when Eric referred to Thorne as his and Stephanie's 'only' son. Brrrrrr! It's getting cold around here! I never expected that! It will set up a very deep division between Ridge and Eric resulting in a takeover I'm afraid. Biology should not dictate who has been a parent and who has not, but Ridge had to know that Thorne would want to be acknowledged at some point as Eric's oldest son. It's a male pride thing. If his feelings are hurt, maybe he should spend more time with his ailing father and make that connection to feel the void. Otherwise, get over it.

2) That annoying Jared! Somebody take that recorder from him and beat him in the head! Geez! I don't know what was more laughable, him or that buffoon that landed a guest appearance from Big Brother. If Jared is there to provide comic relief, someone is a little humor-challenged. Go to Sally for a chuckle or maybe Clarke, not this guy. As a footnote to horrifying images, those Psycho-inspired camera angles have to go as well. It was making me a little quesy trying to watch it. All that nonsense is not necessary...it would have been entertaining without it.

1) THOSE LIPS! AAAHHHH!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! I have watched hundreds of scary movies and sequel-heavy horror franchise films over the years. I have seen gore, blood, shadows, monsters and things that go bump in the night. But I have never seen such a hideous and frightening sight as Brooke's newly pumped up lips. Why would she do that? I did a 'double-take' earlier in the week when I saw her. Those things could be a floatation device in an emergency! I thought she looked fine before. I may never have been a huge Brooke fan, but I never said she didn't look good for her age. Why go to balloon lips? They are taking on a life of their own like 'The Blob'. Don't get too close or they will suck you in and grow bigger with each victim! I'm glad I wasn't the only one to notice as many readers emailed immediately upon seeing 'them'. Oh Brooke, if it ain't broke, don't blow them up! Oooh, scary stuff! Who's on the Soapbox?

cjhines writes...i> 'I agree with you, no one played Bridget better than J.F, but I am willing to accept a recast'. Very interesting and by the way, the first reader to say they are ok with someone playing Bridget. Most are vehemently against it. Well, there nothing we can do now as the decision has been made. Though I can't remember what Megan Dennison's role was on Y&R, so it's hard for me to place the new actress who's playing Bridget. Maybe Y&R viewers could help me with that.

Carolyn writes... 'Soaps have been on long enough, hasn't the pregnancy scare been done to death?' I agree...this Thomas-Amber bun-in-the-oven twist is old and tired. What purpose did it serve if they are still together? He could have gone running from her and her drama but instead everything is status quo. Whatever. We viewers need some fresh ideas to keep interest and this is NOT the way to do it.

I hope everyone has a Happy Halloween and that we all never forget how much fun this time of year can be. As I see my son dressed up as a scary green skeleton dragging his candy-laden bag around the neighborhood, it will remind me to never let go of that great childlike sense of fun. Besides, I'm dressing up, too. I'll be in my prison jumpsuit and apron...as Martha Stewart! Sorry, too topical to resist! Eat some candy for me, readers!

Until next week, stay in touch with your thoughts...it's the best part of my week when I hear from everybody!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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