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 Two Scoops: May 30, 2005 columns
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Ronn Moss
Is Ridge a moron?
For the Week of May 30, 2005
Will it literally take a boulder falling on Ridge's head for him to realize that he can't have TWO wives?
Nick had THE line of the week, didn't he? Between the laugh I got with that and all the infuriating Ridge moments throughout last week, it's a wonder my TV survived the week at all. I just couldn't believe the GALL this week of many people in this crazy Taylor-back-from-the-dead story. The list starts in the most obvious place of course... Ridge...will it literally take a boulder falling on his head for him to realize that he can't have TWO wives? Last I checked, polygamy was looked on rather poorly these days. He has spent the days since Taylor's return getting all gooey and retrospective with one and then patting the other on the head hoping she'll just shut up. Does he actually think he can put off the inevitable? Thomas actually supplied the best dialogue of the whole week with his 'Dad, get off your butt!' speech. Calling his idiot father to the carpet took guts and the kind of spine that neither his father nor his grandfather have at ALL. Rolling around in the bed with the wife du jour while the newly resurrected one that you made out with the night before sits downstairs twiddling her thumbs. Damn, that's the biggest piece of cake I have ever seen served up in the soaps! Hope you choke on it Ridge! How screwed up is that for the kids to see Mommy waiting around for Daddy to boink the other wife before he comes down for his corn flakes in the morning. Good for Thomas to defend Taylor! I have a son and I would want him to do the same for me. And to make matters worse, Ridge thought spending the night in the guest room would be better for everyone. Sure, better for him to shuttle his warring wives in and out throughout the night, both giving their resumes to convince him to pick them. Sad and pathetic. Considering how he is acting, neither should be stooping so low. I mean come on...he started the week getting sweaty with Brooke and ended the week all over Taylor. Me? Not if he were the LAST man on Earth. Yuck.

Brooke...not a good week for you either, dear. What low self-esteem she must have to beg and plead for this guy to make love to her like this were some kind of sick job interview trying to impress someone to hire you over the other woman. Yes, it was magnanimous of her to give up her place in the marital bed to give Ridge the 'space' he needs to make his decision, but how blind do you have to be NOT to see that he'll use the bedroom door like a subway turnstile. Each will be sneaking in with their own agenda and I'm sorry, but I don't see Brooke winning the battle of the bedroom. No sooner does she play 'guestroom martyr', then she is on the phone making sure Nick will be there for her 'always'. Uh huh. Very interesting. Let the games begin! I'll say it again...I love them together but not like this.

Taylor...well, so much for 'trusting Ridge to make his own decision.' Her restraint went right out the window, didn't it? Another sad example of groveling to a man that hasn't done anything to deserve it. Taylor took the ill-fated trip down memory lane with Ridge at Meddling Manor complete with all the cute little flashbacks to their proposals and early nuptials. I did like the scenes with her and kids and I have to admit it is good to have her character back. I think she is a good actress and plays well off the other actors nicely. But (and there is ALWAYS a 'but' in this column) I was surprised that the writers have her being so aggressive there at the end of the week. She stopped just short of stripping for Ridge right there in Mommy's living room all the while begging him to do her. Ugh...why, why, WHY???? I would have liked to see her focus on the kids and to take a tough-love stance with the Cake-Eater. Tell him to be a man and good example for his son. 'You want a piece of this, Ridge? Time to crap or get off the pot!' Too direct? Oh well, the pig needs a shot in the arm, not the ego.

Stephanie...oh my, the more things change, the more they stay the same. I love Susan Flannery, I really do. Great actress and deserves every piece of shiny gold hardware she wins, but at what point does SHE get tired of the same old Brooke-hating dialogue? Now we are back on the Tramp from the Valley bandwagon we have ridden for years with Stephanie in the drivers seat! Making it no secret to everyone willing to listen, Stephanie is elated that her best friend and 'daughter' was back in the family and it is clearly time for Brooke to haul her butt out of the house. Well that's not a little cold or anything? She does have RJ there and little Hopeless, so at least be sensitive to that. We also found out her newfound admiration and respect for Brooke was all fake (right) and now there will undoubtedly be friction between her and her jellyfish husband over this. All this show is no writing consistency in my book. I think it actually would have been more interesting to see Stephanie torn between both women as to who exactly to support. I guess that doesn't go along with the Xerox style with which these stories are crafted though. Wouldn't want to be ORIGINAL or anything. By the way, I'm still watching the mailbox for my plane ticket to LA.

Eric...I swear a piece of spaghetti has more strength than this man. Was he born with a spine or was that an option when his character was crafted? Good Lord! Could he BE anymore obvious when it come to how he champions Brooke. Why doesn't he just go for it and marry her all over again? In his eyes she has never done anything wrong EVER and I swear he gives her the bedroom looks every time they have a scene together. I thought he loved Taylor too but I guess not enough to throw her a bone in this situation. Brooke is the end-all-be-all and that's it for him. Go take a cold shower and you AND your wife stay out of this mess. Take her on vacation or something or maybe go spend some time with your OTHER grandchild, huh?

Nick...delivered the BEST line I recent months by calling Ridge a moron! WHO-HOO!!!! Good for you! Glad to see that he has been genuinely fighting his feelings for Brooke and trying to make Ridge see how good he has it. If he wanted her back, he would have said little to Ridge and actually encouraged him to stay with Taylor. So all he Nick haters out there should at least give him credit for that. He could have played it dirty and he didn't. He still has been pro-Bridget (even to his pain-in-the a** mother) and still wants to marry her. But I have to say I am worried as I have for weeks now that the writers will take the cheap route to a ratings bump and try to put Brooke and Nick back into a compromising situation. Those are the kinds of angles that would cause me to stop watching a take a break. I love the chemistry those two have and the healthy relationship Brooke could have with him but it will make Nick look bad again and her look desperate. Nope...not a good thing.

Jackie...what is this woman's problem? OH MY GOD! I know I have watched an assortment of meddling mommies on daytime TV (Lucinda Walsh on ATWT being among the worst ever) but I think Jackie gets the award this year. I'm waiting for Nick to harpoon her the next time she boards the Shady Marlin. Cut her up and feed her to sharks! Ok, maybe a little harsh but I just can't take many more psychotic speeches from her about how Nick needs to make his move on Brooke. She's even had the cajones to say it IN FRONT of Bridget! Doesn't she have some dress shops to run or something? Go sell a dress and leave your son alone, lady! Between her and Stephanie, I don't know which one is more destructive to their OWN families. Nicky you know I'm right, Nicky this is your chance, Nicky Nicky Nicky....AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Enough already! He's a grown man and will have to handle this on his own.

That list was a little lengthy but I hope it illustrated my frustration with those acting out of character and those just being generally annoying. I could handle this whole story so much better, I swear! I know...here's my idea for the next big reality show-have a group of ordinary soap viewers from all walks of life and all networks converge on LA, live in a mansion by the sea and each compete to become a full-time soap writer for their favorite show/network. Wouldn't that be a cool way to get some fresh ideas from the very people that watch soaps all the time? Open it up, take a chance, think outside the box for a change. It's no more risky than hitting the 'Start' button on the Xerox machine that belts out the scripts for B&B now? I'd sign up in a heartbeat. There is real potential here with this Taylor story, but I just don't think it will head in the best direction it could. Maybe Y&R will continue to hang on to the top spot but at least B&B could be firmly on their heels EVERY week coming in second by a hair.

I will be posting on the Board tomorrow to all those that answered the Question of the Week. I love the responses everyone took the time to post and I thank you all for making my trial run with this idea a great success. I'd like to do it at least once a month when there is a particularly good query based on recent events. You readers come up with some great views on subjects that certainly keep my and my opinions honest.

My rant for the week...I thought Taylor already knew about Hopeless' paternity BEFORE she got iced by Sheila? Am I wrong? Do I have amnesia? I could swear she knew Brooke and Deacon were doing the deed and now I see spoilers that Stephanie will tell Taylor about all of these things plus the WTD debacle. And I guess I still find it amazing that Bridget keeps giving Brooke a pass at every turn. She slept with her husband and had his kid but is always the first one to give the 'Mom has changed' speech. I don't know...I don't think I could so easily forget all that. And while it's late and I am on a catty soapbox, how can Brooke keep finding substitute Daddies for Hope and not feel a little guilty about it? Her father (albeit a boozer and on recurring status) should have not been excluded from her life just because Brooke felt guilty about boinking her daughter's husband. Why should the kid pay for the mother's mistake and not have a relationship with her real father. First Nick and now Ridge? Talk about confusion! I guess the speech by Brooke about Hope calling 'Daddy' bothered me a little. I know it sounds like Brooke-bashing but I would just love to see HER be the one to explain about Hope, not Stephanie. Brooke should take the ownership of this one and come clean. Put it all out there and defend herself and her decisions. No, she should have to but we all know with Stephanie driving the bus, it will come to that one way or the other. If the writers were smart, they would make this Brooke's shining moment of strength and maturity. Of course, I would have her dump Ridge's butt FIRST, then do all the other stuff afterwards.

Ok, time for the question of the week...in the spirit (excuse the pun) of bringing people back from the dead, who should take a break from pushing up daisies and return to B&B alive and well. Caroline? Grant? Macy? Dig deep on this one, readers (ugh! There was an ugly one, huh?).

I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day holiday and please take a moment while flipping burgers or lounging in the pool to remember there are those serving here and abroad doing a job that many would not have the guts to do for our freedom. They have my admiration for sure! Take care...



Who's on the Soapbox?

Shamma writes... '...I hate Taylor...she is too perfect and everything just falls into place for her...she is like that of a cheerleader, so perfect that it's unreal.'

Nicole writes... ...I wonder if Ridge had married someone other than Brooke would (Taylor) throw herself at him...I get that she wants her husband back, but would she respect the marriage a little more if the wife wasn't Brooke? I hate that perfect Taylor obsesses about stupid Ridge and it's ok but when wrong-side-of-the-tracks Brooke does it and she's a nuisance.'

Until next week, stay in touch with your thoughts...it's the best part of my week when I hear from everybody!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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