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 Two Scoops: August 21, 2006 columns
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Kristian Alfonso
What's goin' on?
For the Week of August 21, 2006
Hope is an all or nothing kind of person, which is not usually a bad trait, but she has always had a problem with Bo loving anyone but her and her children.
This week on Days has me wondering something: Am I the only one who feels a little bit lost this week? Other than scenes involving Steve and Kayla, this whole week kind of left me scratching my head.

Maybe I missed something, but what the hell was Austin's logic for moving up the wedding to Sami, to like the next freakin' day? I can understand, intellectually, wanting to hurry up and get married, but it's not like they were running off to Vegas or something. First of all, we all know this is not going to be a little Justice of the Peace affair at the courthouse. It is going to be a typical Sami Brady catered-floral-decked-out-bridesmaids-in-full-regalia spectacle. Secondly, they want their whole families to drop everything with less than twenty-four hours notice to go to "Sami&Austin-take three." This whole storyline is jumping up and down on my last nerve, so of course this is the time that Sami will actually get married. And can you believe that Austin had to nerve to act mad when he found Sami and E.J. scantily, yet fully clothed? What a flaming, smoldering hypocrite! What I really hope happens is that Sami's secret doesn't get found out before Austin and Carrie's rooftop liason does. Then I hope that Sami slaps the taste out of Carrie's mouth and dumps Austin, since that's what he really wants anyway. Then Lucas should go crazy and hold Carrie and Austin hostage in some hidden bunker underneath the apartment building. Just a thought.

You know what? I still hate Chelsea. I think that is five columns in a row now. I have a serious question and if any of you guys out there have a legit answer, by all means please enlighten me. Why in the holy heck would you sentence a convicted criminal to community service in a hospital where there are sick defenseless people around? GH did this too this year, with someone a lot more dangerous than Little-Miss-Can't-Be-Wrong, but do they actually do this in real life? If so, next time I'm sick I'm going to find a shaman instead of a hospital. That said, Chelsea is the most whiny, selfish, ungrateful, self-involved character ever to poison my TV screen. She keeps telling everyone how bad she feels about running over her baby brother with the truck, but her actions and attitude prove otherwise. She always says that she feels guilty but doesn't know why she has to do her community service now, or her summer is ruined because she has to work, but she needs to be thanking her lucky stars that her work is in the hospital and not ironing Big Bertha's unmentionables in prison, among other things.

But I digress, my favorite, favorite, favorite, part of the week was Bo reaming Chelsea's lying, scheming butt out. Oh, how I laughed and laughed. She completely deserved everything she got and then some. I half expected him to tackle her and start shaking the crap out of her. Which I would have loved, immensely.

Speaking of Bo, this whole Hope thing is just too grating for nerves. Let me outline what my problem with Hope is: She is an all or nothing kind of person, which is not usually a bad trait, but Hope has always had a problem with Bo loving anyone but her and her children. Does anyone else remember the whole ultra-long, convoluted thing when Hope and Bo were going to re-marry back in the 90's and she kept refusing to marry him (almost daily) until he could prove to her that she was the only woman in his heart and he didn't have feelings for Billie anymore? It went on for months for those of you who don't remember or didn't watch yet. This is my problem with this: it is not like he was cheating on her when he and Billie got together in the first place, he thought that Hope was dead so it's kind of hard to turn your feelings off and on. And even though he didn't raise Chelsea she is still his child (unfortunately) and it is really unfair of Hope to order him to choose between her and Chelsea. What if Patrick and Hope do get together and Patrick ends up having some kind of beef with Shawn because he broke Mimi's heart or something? Would it be okay for Patrick to make Hope choose between him and Shawn? Of course not, she would take his head off. And what was with that little smirk after Bo stormed out of the house that Hope kindly informed him he basically has no claim to? I think she really secretly enjoys making Bo prove to her over and over that she is the most important thing in his life.

Oh, and back to slapping the taste out of people's mouths, someone really needs to bust Abby for the way she treats Jennifer. Now, I'm going to admit, I personally can't stand Jack and Jennifer's characters, but still the way Abby is acting you would think that this whole setup was Jennifer cheating on Jack when Jack is the one who set this whole stupid situation into motion in the first place! I admit, it is getting really creepy with the two husbands under one roof thing, but no one would be feeling awkward if Jack hadn't faked his death and harassed, and do I ever mean harassed, Frankie into getting involved with Jen. This whole thing is just too stupid for words, in my humble opinion.

One more question: What bar, even if your family owns it, is going to let you get so smashed that you and your frenemy end up laying on the floor, and let you stay on the floor for like five minutes??? While it was quite funny to see Shawn and Philip real, real drunk, the whole thing didn't make any sense. First of all, if anyone had actually listened to Mimi they would know that she didn't say that Shawn and Philip would be kept away from their bio-kids, just that they were going to work out a structure so that both dads would have a set amount of hours a month to definitely spend with their kids and also that they would be the first choice babysitters for the other couple, so all in all they probably would spend more time together than dads that have weekend visitation do. But all Shawn and Princess Belle heard was the word "restriction" and they were off and running at the mouth. If you ask me (and I know none of you did, but I'll tell you anyway) Shawn was just looking for an excuse to have a hissy fit because he is trying to even out the tables of Mimi catching him in a clinch with Belle. You know, when you're wrong you flip it and make it somehow the other person's fault. But I honestly don't blame Philip or Mimi for being upset. Their spouses are telling them that they are committed, but they keep having these conversations about leaving them and being together behind their backs, I don't care what Shawn said about that stupid ring. Like I said, frenemies.

So, scoopers, do you think anyone will believe Chelsea when she spills the beans about Claire (you know she will)? Will Abe really take Theo away from Lexie (I hope so)? Will Sami and Austin actually get married this time, even though everybody should be with someone else? Only time will tell!

P.S. Didn't you love Lucas breaking it down to Stephanie about Kate? That was the funniest part of the whole week!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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