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For the Week of May 26, 2008
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With all due respect to Steve and Kayla, they should let Stephanie name her baby brother all by herself. The last name that Steve and Kayla managed to think of was Pocket.

We're headed to the home stretch, kids. May sweeps is almost over and while there's plenty of off camera stuff to bemoan (Joe Mascolo being let go! Nooooo!) and celebrate (Jason Cook and Kirsten Storms will be on the same soap again!) the on camera stuff is waaaay to juicy . I have been so excited to see what is going on that I've forgone my usual practice of watching a block of shows on Friday night (Yep, that's the kind of glamorous life I lead. Don't be jealous.) and instead, I watched each show when I got home from work. I was like a little kid at Christmas; I just couldn't wait to see what storyline gift the writers had for me to open! Let's get started!

CHELSEA and DANIEL:
Thanks to all of you who wrote in to let me know that "Dansea" is the proper combination of their names. Also, I want to send a special shout out to Carin, who wrote into tell me that she comically refers to them as "Chonas" (Chelsea + Dr. Jonas). HA! I think it's great. So funny!

Chelsea (sporting a super cute new 'do) got herself in another lip lock with Daniel. Can someone tell me where these coed locker rooms exist? Anyway, they're quickly interrupted when Dr. McSlutty comes in the locker room. Talk about pushy, pathetic, and desperate! Sheesh! I'd watch Chelsea exchange banter with Daniel any day over seeing Daniel struggle for a polite way to say, "Listen lady, I'm sure that your hotness has gotten you a lot in life. But, you're whoretitude is just making me very uncomfortable." Actually, I take that back. I wish Daniel would have said exactly that to the she-slut.

Dansea's storyline has a lot of potential- as long as they don't keep going rounds of "I can't date you/My face is stuck to yours". That's ok at first, but Dansea needs to have more between them than just hormones. They could easily have that genius and his muse type vibe. They could bond over dealing with death (his wife, her parents and brother) or coping with the loss of an ideal (his marriage, her carrying a child). I think that if the writers concentrate on more than just a physical attraction, this couple could win more fans. I'm still waiting to see where this goes.

STEVE, KAYLA, STEPHANIE, and COSMO JOE:
Baby boy Johnson is still alive, in ICU, and being cared for by the doctors. So, Steph and Steve have the job of trying to keep Kayla calm. They decide to try to pick a name for the baby. With all due respect to Steve and Kayla, they should let Stephanie name her baby brother all by herself. The last time Stayla put their heads together a poor child was at the risk of being called "Pocket" for the rest of his life. Case closed. Steph, name that baby!

But, Steve and Kayla come up with at least part of the name- Joe (after Steve's mom). I know they mentioned that it would be ok for Steve and Adrianne to have children with the same names because they are far apart in age. Hmmm....their reasoning is very odd considering Kayla didn't want to name the baby "Shawn" since Bo and Hope already used that name. Ok, ok, I guess I'm just a little cranky that they didn't go with their original idea and name the baby Benjamin. I thought it would be such a wonderful nod to the dearly departed Benji Hawk and many of you wrote in last week to suggest the same thing. But, Joe's nice too. I'm just glad the baby is still alive. Now for the million dollar question: What will little Joe call Max? (more on that later)

PHILLIP, CHLOE, and MORGAN:
It's nice to see Phillip have his pick of ladies. Why shouldn't he? He's good looking, powerful, and deep down, has a heart of gold. It's interesting watching him try to balance his personal life with his professional life.

Phillip and Morgan are still my first choice. I hope they do team up to save her father and make sure that John pays for his crime. Morgan needs to grow up a little and Phillip needs to soften a tiny bit. They both seem to bring out the best in each other.

On the other hand, Phillip and Chloe took another step towards bad idea-ville. Granted, when they first got together (almost 10 YEARS AGO) they had that Eliza Doolittle/Professor Higgins thing going on. But that ship has long sailed. Right now, they just bring each other down. (No, Chloe, not in that way). She's cheating on her husband. He's sleeping with his nephew's wife. Not cool. The only thing I'm looking forward to concerning Chloe is when Morgan puts Chloe in her place. Note to Chloe: College girls actually are cool. They're taking a step towards getting a job and providing for themselves. Ya might want to try it sometime.

LEXIE, ABE, and THEO:
I really appreciate the storyline that Lexie and Abe have right now. In the midst love triangles, bribes, and brain erasing, Lexie and Abe are a grounding dose of reality. They are a reminder that marriage is tough. It's even tougher when the wife has a wondering eye, the husband never truly dealt with her infidelity, and both have demanding jobs that monopolize their time and emotions.

On top of all that, it looks like Theo may have some developmental problems. While they haven't said for sure, some of his symptoms are consistent with forms of autism. If there's one thing that an adulterous wife and a work-a-holic husband don't need, it's problems with their child.

Normally, I get a little nervous when soap operas try to tackle real life issues, but I think that Dena Higley can pull this one off. Dena Higley's own son has a form of autism. So, she is the perfect person to craft a storyline about parents raising and loving a child with special challenges. She's already going about it properly, anchoring it into a story about communication and relationships. From what I've read, divorce rates are very high for parents of children with autism, mainly because the diagnosis, treatment, and coping has so much to do with how the family communicates with each other. It will be interesting to see how the writers handle this storyline. Do not fast forward through this one, fans.

EJ, SAMI, and LUCAS:
Ahh...the pièce de résistance for the week. For those of you who missed this storyline, what the heck were you doing?!?! Just kidding. Here's the quick version: Sami and EJ talked about "the talk"- awesome writing and acting, once again. Sami forgave EJ (even brought up how she drugged Austin) and just to prove that everything was hunky-dory, she jumped in the sack with EJ. Lucas got sprung from the big house, just in time to return to an even bigger house (a.k.a- the DiMera mansion where he's on house arrest) and find Ejami in bed together. Lucas screams. Sami begs Lucas for forgiveness. EJ sulks his own sorrows in faux attention. I can't help but feel that these three resemble another famous troubled trio in desperate search of a heart, a brain, and some courage.

The Tin Man
Just to register emotion, jealousy, devotion
And really feel the part
I could stay young and chipper
And I'd lock it with a zipper
If I only had a heart

EJ is in search of a heart. Outside of Jonny and Ali, EJ has never really experienced unconditional love. He's never made himself publicly vulnerable to Sami. In order to have a heart, you have to be willing to let it break. EJ took a major step towards finding his heart when he asked Sami why she was able to forgive him. Old EJ would have taken the slightest green light and schemed to capitalize on it. But, he took a step back when he fed his ego with a little attention from Nicole and Chloe.

EJ still comes across as a little heartless sometimes. He's not doing anything as obvious as shooting people or sexually assaulting women (thank God). No, this time he's gone stoic. Bottling up that much anger can't be good for anyone. They way EJ approached Lucas with such a ridiculous offer (see: let's live in the same house, be in love with the same woman, raise the same children, and be civil to each other) so calmly was baffling to me. Sure, the offer sounds great, but the only way EJ can think that his offer is realistic would be if he stifled some of his own emotions.

The Scarecrow
I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain

Yep. That's Lucas. In coming weeks, I really hope he finds his brain because this week, he lost his mind when Lucas caught Sami and EJ in bed together.

First, EJ is the best match for Sami. Second, Sami did absolutely nothing wrong when she slept with EJ. Third, as Maggie so rightly pointed out, Lucas was a damn fool for refusing to visit with Sami and Ali. Having said all that, however, I can't blame Lucas one little bit for being hurt when he walked in that room. I don't care how many times he told Sami to move on, he did NOT mean, "Let me literally see you in bed with someone else as soon as possible!" I'm even going to give him a free pass on the yelling and absurdly inappropriate things that he said to Sami- for now. This is still "heat of the moment" stuff and the dude had a lot on his mind. He also gets major bonus points for pulling it together in front of Ali.

But my forgiveness has a very short expiration date considering a few things. First, Lucas never once mentioned any concern for Johnny, even before he found EJ and Sami in bed together. Wasn't it Lucas who helped deliver Jonnny and took care of Johnny when he was little? Second, Lucas was all too quick to tell John and Marlena that Sami slept with EJ. Rather than talking to Sami about it privately, he came across as a tattle-tail. Part of me is waiting to see if maybe Jeremy Horton wasn't a fluke. Is there hereditary gene that infects Horton males, causing otherwise very pleasant men to turn into verbally abusive meanies?

Lucas has not had an easy life by any means. But, the guy isn't doing himself any favors by insisting that everyone around him change and not realizing that maybe he needs to start thinking about his own actions. No one is the victim every time.

The Lion
Put 'em up, put 'em up! Which one of you first? I can fight you both together if you want. I can fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I can fight you standing on one foot. I can fight you with my eyes closed.

If ever there was a woman who did not have the courage to be honest, it's got to be Sami. Just like I was glad last week so see Sami tear into EJ, I'm glad that Sami got a chance to knock Lucas down a few notches. Lucas, who has never been accused of being a fast learner, needed to hear (again) that he chose to shoot EJ, then chose not to stand trial but go directly to jail, and finally chose not to accept any of Sami's attempt to contact him. I'm also glad Marlena, John, and EJ all stepped in to defend Sami. But then she ruined it all when she apologized to Lucas for sleeping with EJ and for saying horrible things to Lucas. I do appreciate that Sami has learned to apologize. It shows that she's grown. But it was not warranted in this situation.

Instead, it was just a way of Sami avoiding having to tell the truth. Sami has got to have the courage to decide which man she wants to be with. She has the fire power to follow through with any decision she makes- of that I have no doubt. But, does she have the courage to make a decision and live with the consequences? I'm not too sure about that yet.

LOOSE ENDS:
Bo is having a hard time dealing with the shooting. No matter how bad a guy, he still took a life and that's got to be tough on Detective Brady. I'm glad the writers are not just glossing over this point. Killing someone, no matter if it was in self defense, should take a toll on Bo.

I like the way that Roman and new John interact. It's funny watching Roman humor John by putting up with his insults. It's also sweet watching John get so jealous over Marlena.

From the "Top 10 List: Stupidest Reasons for a Fights Ever", Max and Stephanie presented us with an argument over whether or not Max is really a genius.

I forgot how much I like the chemistry between Roman and Katie. I forgot how cute I think it is when he calls her "Katie".

Welcome back, Bryan Dattilo! I know I've been tough on Lucas, but I completely adore Bryan Dattilo and I will never oppose welcoming a good actor back to Salem. Let the happy dancing commence!

EXTRA SCOOPS:
Line of the Week:
Steve describing Max to the hospital staff: "He's family."
Seriously?!?! Come on, writers. This completely irresponsible handling of Max's character is getting comical at this point. To borrow a line from my co-writer Tony- extend arm palm up and slap forehead.

Hot:
Tony and Anna's engagement. Not only do I love that he called her, Anna Frederics-Brady-DiMera-DiMera, but I am so excited to watch Anna plan a wedding. Part of me has a feeling that she'll make Princess Di's wedding seem budget friendly. The other part of me just wants to go to any party that Tony and Anna throw.

Not:
Maggie and Mickey's intentional disregard for the safety of their family. I've rewritten this section ten times now and I'm still not able to properly express my disappointment in these two. They intentionally set up an explosive situation and hid behind the lame excuse of "it's not our place to tell". I can't stand it. What they did was text book case of something that Stefano or Nicole would have done to deliberately hurt people.

They sent their recovering alcoholic nephew to the home of his ex wife, her two small children and her new husband who, by the way, said nephew already tried to shoot. What part of that scenario doesn't warrant telling Sami first?

If not for Sami and the twins, why did they lie right to Lucas's face when he asked if there was anything else he needed to know about Sami's living situation? Don't they feel the need to try to protect him from the biggest heartbreak of his life? I always thought of Maggie as Lucas's closest relative- not only is she his aunt, but she was his AA sponsor, and main baby sitter for his daughter! Ok, new theory: Little green men were impersonating Maggie and Mickey this week. They have to be pod people, aliens, body snatchers, or zombies.

That's it, Days fans. I hope that you all had an enjoyable Memorial Day weekend, remembered to think about our great military veterans, and spent some time with your families. You'll finally get a break from me and get to hear from Tony next week, who I'm sure has TONS to say about the happenings in our fair Salem.

Happy viewing!
Laurisa

Need more Two Scoops? Head over to read blogs by Laurisa or Tony for more ranting, raving, and all-out randomness

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