Between two jobs and life in general, I crave brain-candy a lot. It's a treat to shut off the old thinker and just veg out. So, I sometimes venture onto YouTube and get lost for a minute or, well, sixty. You know how that rabbit hole goes. Generally, I gravitate toward life hacks. I mean, who knew there were so many things to do with pool noodles, cupcake papers, and hot glue guns!? Sometimes I also find myself chuckling at cat videos. It's a guilty pleasure. Don't judge. Why are they so funny? I don't know. They just are. I especially lose it over the ones where cats push things off surfaces. Why? Again, I don't know.
Last week, DAYS was a lot like those compilations of cats pushing things. More so, the ones where the sassy cat teases its humans by slowly pushing things toward the edge but stops just short of sending it sailing. Yep, DAYS was a sassy cat last week. Storylines were pushed, teased, and headed toward the cliff, but they left us hanging. Anticipation, I tell you! I'm totally ready to see several of them sassily knocked over. And since DAYS was a bit here and there last week as it set things up to fall, this week's Two Scoops will be, too. So, let's get random!
First. Calm down. Everyone, please, just calm down. J.J. got his job back. All is good. He can afford chocolate cereal again. Play on, J.J. And thank you, mama bear Jennifer. I could watch Jen in reporter mode all day.
Hmm. Marlena and John brought up Kristen a lot. Kristen! Yes, please.
Marlena and John also razzed on Sami a lot. That was swell of them. Though I think most of the family took a pot shot or two at Sami Gene last week. They're all so swell. Gee. I wonder why she's not calling any of them back.
Mar Mar and John "Blind My Bestie" Black also continued to plan "Jarlena the Wedding: Here We Go Again." The guest list sounds promising, which makes me
more excited for the "Shelle Homecoming Party," err, I mean John and Marlena's wedding.
Ted's reveal as the one who sent Will and Sonny those letters was great. Granted, we first knew a few weeks back, but it was a very sly, understated moment -- yet a startling surprise for Wilson. It was all well played!
I'm still unsure of why Ted is targeting Will and Sonny, though. Does he need the money he would have gotten from Leo's payout? He's not that upstanding of a guy, so I'm crossing off a "Justice for Leo" stance from the list until proven otherwise. True, a death cover-up is worse than scamming a corporation, but I still don't think Ted would care that much unless he has personal ties to the situation. He also knows how much Will means to Kate and is risking that relationship for blackmail purposes. Unless he's out to get Kate, too. So, dang. I don't know.
I shared a theory with Laurisa via text last week. Basically, I asked, "Could Ted be Leo's pimp, or could Ted himself or Leo have been the guy that Will had an affair with while he was in L.A. and is back for revenge since Will went back to Sonny?" Will wouldn't remember the guy, and no one else in Salem knew him, so it would be easy to dupe an amnesic Will right now. Again, I just don't know, but I'm eager to get the 4-1-1 on Ted's treachery.
It's an official unholy alliance! Kate and Gabi have teamed up. Part of me loves, loves, loves this! They have what it takes to make Stefan pay. I hope their plan works and brings down Sir Smugs-A-Lot a peg or ten. Well. I hope some of their plan works, that is. I still have major issues with what it will do to Chad and Abigail. When Kate -- Thee Kate Roberts -- says things like, "It's cruel, Gabi," and, "Oh, my God. It's so wrong," you know you've hit the Mega Horrible Person Jackpot. So, congratulations, Gabi!?
A large part of my anger stems from Kate's choice to keep Chad in the dark. She's selling him out left and right these days. Though, she does consider him like a son, so, really, none of us should be surprised she's tossing him under the bus. Still, I wish she'd stop before it's too late and loop him in on it. Sadly, in the mid-'90s I also wished for Dan Cortese to host a birthday party for me. Alas, dreams really don't come true. Stop lying, Dorothy Gale.
Ultimately, the entire plan is unfair to Abigail and Chad, and it's generally being misguided as Stefan is the real enemy. When (not if) this is revealed, there's going to be several Salem bridges burnt beyond repair. Well, unless some of those bridges are made of the same material the cabin in the woods is. Two fires later, and that place is still standing. Anyway. Time will tell, but it's all just so messy and unsettling in the meantime (which means the writers are doing their job to keep us hooked and talking about it).
Speaking of that cabin, more so its temporary inhabitants, Ben paid a visit to Ciara at the loft. I mean, dang. Robert Scott Wilson and Victoria Konefal are bringing the heat (and I'm not talking about the fire). As much as Ben and Ciara shouldn't work, there's something undeniable there that's happening. Like, I really shouldn't want Ciara with a reformed (we hope) serial killer, but it's hard not to root for them just a little. Or lot.
You know how they give drunks that ignition interlock/car breathalyzer to prevent them from driving under the influence, you know, again? Okay. So, Hope totally needs a gun breathalyzer to prevent her from drawing her firearm if she's over a certain level of emotional duress. That idea was Stefano approved.
Okay. It's easy to pick on Hope right now because of her unHopeness, but I do get her stance. She lost Zach. She doesn't want to lose another child. I wish the show would focus more on that aspect rather than Hope questioning Ben's recovery. I mean, it's been brought up, but it would be a more powerful storyline than Hope just looking unwavering, given her own shoot 'em up past with Stefano and quest for redemption afterwards. Different circumstances, for sure, but Hope (and Rafe) did Weekend at Bernie's a body after. So. There's that.
I'm glad, though, that Ciara is understanding of Hope's stance. I don't think a reformed serial killer would be on top of any parent's wish list for their child's potential mate, or even someone they'd love to see them pal around with. Ben isn't just a dude from a working-class family who wears a leather jacket and drives a motorcycle. He was a dude who would strangle someone with a sleeve of that jacket not that long ago. So, I get it, Hope.
But, Hope also needs to trust Ciara's judgment as well as those medical (let's say) professionals who treated Ben. Hope's looking at the worst-case scenario, and, again, I get that. But if Ben's been deemed fit, Hope needs to remember her own recovery. What's to say she won't snap again, as she's the one a little gun happy and abusing powers right now while Ben is back on the meds and apologizing profusely.
And apology accepted! Brady and Eric are bros again. They're good. They're really good. I'm good with all of that.
Brady should work a little harder on the entire "No, really, Eric, sit down. You need to hear the entire story" thingy. At least it can't be said that Brady didn't try. Though, Eric claims Nicole is in the past and he's devoted to Jennifer, so who's to say he wouldn't pick Jenny Bear now, anyway? That's not a "Jeneric" endorsement, mind you, just a question. I hope his response would be, "Bye-bye, Jen. It's been nice. I'll need that friendship bracelet back, too. Thanks."
But I love that Eric proposed to Jennifer. I love it even more that she said, "Yes!" Okay, in fairness, her acceptance was rather cute, but anyway. I am thrilled about it all. Happy couples have the same shelf life as a piece of ice cream cake left in a car in July. That is, things are about to get messy, and that's the part I love. Tick tock, Jeneric. Tick. Tock.
Also, while I'm not all aboard the Jeneric train, was it necessary for nearly every Salemite to congratulate Eric then bring up Nicole? Most of them were basically, "Nice. Nice. Good job…this time, but let's reminisce about your greatest failure in painstaking detail. Champagne, anyone?" I'm sure intentions were well-meaning, but, damn folks. Let the man be happy for a second.
Oh, Eve. Yep. That's all I have to say about that.
Okay. One more thing. Why, Eve? Why tell Jennifer everything? I agree with Victor. Jennifer Do Right will certainly spill the beans eventually. Eve just set everyone, including herself, up for oodles of heartache. It's better to confess, Eve, not be outed.
While I adore everything about Steve and Adrienne's relationship from his "Baby Sis" nicknames to teasing her about her blouse, I don't really care to wish the Patch Man success on finding Bonnie Lockhart. Isn't a once-a-decade Bonnie sighting enough? Maybe even more than enough. Yes. Yes, it is.
While their past storyline was tragic, I'm beginning to think Eli and Lani need a cheesy '80s sitcom opening theme when they come on-screen for what seems to be their allotted once-a-week appearance. Imagine overly synthesized pop chords and some lyrics like:
Just last Sweeps, we had a crazy sad storyline
Now we just pop up from time to time
I don't think DAYS knows exactly what to do
What to do with the two of us
It's Lani and Eli's weekly visit, oh oh oh
Don't you worry
Don't you fret
They're still around
DAYS just hasn't figured out
No, DAYS hasn't figured out
They just haven't figured out
A storyline for them just yet
And then Eli and Lani pop up in an hourglass-shaped bubble and wave as they say, in unison, "See you next week!"
While the storyline bombshells that are readying themselves to explode soon are keeping my interest piqued, I'm also shivering with, as Dr. Frank-N-Furter would say, "antici... pation" over the barrage of character returns slated over the next few months. Like, there are a ton of them! Let's take a look at the growing list, but first…
Warning! Spoilers ahead. Like, really. A lot of them. Things are about to be more spoiled than Veruca Salt, so jump ahead to the "Extra Scoops" section if you don't want a glimpse at some of the returns.
Jordan Ridgeway: Ben's sister. Rafe's ex-fling. Kate's ex-sparring partner. Arthur the Cat's mom.
I say, "Welcome back, Tammy Sue!" I liked Jordan. Maybe she'll untangle Rope? Fingers crossed. I'm also interested to hear her take on some of the dark past that made Ben Ben and her Jordan. And she has a cat named Arthur. That's pretty cool.
Sarah Horton: Maggie's daughter. Mickey's adopted one. Missing in action since 1991, though was "in the other room" during Mickey's wake in 2010.
I'm all for this! Sarah's been gone for so long, she's basically a clean slate. The Hortons could use some fresh blood to shake things up. Bonus: maybe Sarah will let us know when Neil Curtis will be done with rounds.
Shawn-Douglas and Belle Brady
Yes-to-the-please! Yes, please. My "Shelle" foam finger is dusted off and ready for that special brand of Madison/Beemer magic.
Sometimes I think Kirsten is my spirit animal. An Eileen Davidson-less Kristen has me sad. Stacy Haiduk's abilities do not. She's great. So, while my heart is a little broken, I'm approaching this with an open mind and opened, welcoming arms to Stacy as she slips into some pretty big shoes. Word on the street is that what she's taped as Kristen already is fierce.
Jack Deveraux: Jennifer's dead-not dead-dead again-not dead again again- dead again again-dead, maybe alive husband. Abigail and J.J.'s dad. Thomas' g-pa. Steve and Adrienne's brother.
Two words: Matthew Ashford! No offense to "Jeneric," but I'm ready for the Ashford-Reeves combo. They're what soap supercouples are made of. Jack with his kids will be great, and some Johnson family bonding moments will be even greater. I'm all in!
Arianne Zucker will never not be a welcomed sight. She's flawless. And with all of Nicole's unfinished business in Salem, this has to be an epic return. Can. Not. Wait.
Kyle Lowder as…?: Once upon a time, Kyle portrayed Brady Black, but who he's returning as is still up in the air.
Rumor has it that Kyle will play Rex Brady. Will he wear silver space-wear? I'm not sure. Still, there could be a curveball to who he's playing. Time will tell, but I'm eager to catch back up with Kyle either way.
Mimi Lockhart: Bonnie's daughter. Her bother Patrick was a hunk. J.J.'s middle name is in honor of said hunky brother, Patrick. Belle's most of the time bestie from the "Last Blast" era. Shawn-D's ex. Has a son with Philip Kiriakis. Co-bullied Chloe in high school, along with Jan Spears.
Full disclosure, Meems and I never had the best relationship. If had a "burn book," she might have been in it. But that was then. Time has passed. Old wounds have healed. Personal growth and all that crap. I'll take the Bree van de Camp approach to our reunion at first until I see how things go. That is, a curt smile, a faux-friendly, "You look well," and then I'll go hang with Chloe by the bar and talk some smack. I kid, I kid. I'm actually interested to see if Mimi brings news of Tyler Kiriakis with her! Have we met her son yet? Have we!? I don't know, but I want to.
Alison Sweeney is like morning coffee. The day is better when you have it and often drags when you don't. So, please don't step on the lint-free red carpet I've rolled out for her. You don't want Sami on your bad side.
Was there anything not brilliant about Greg Vaughan and Eric Martsolf's performances last week? I'll answer that for you. No. No, there wasn't. I Tweeted this already, but the sentiment remains just as strong in Two Scoops Land: "Any aspiring actors who want to know how it's done only need to watch @greg_vaughan & @ericmartsolf's scenes this week. Truly amazing work! #respect"
Maybe this isn't the NOTTIEST of NOTS, but Maggie's, "How could you!?" and "How many times have we been here!?" to Victor really lose their punch after the millionth time. I get her frustrations. Totally. Yet it's hard to cough up sympathy for Mags, well, how many times is it? Right. A playa's gonna play, Maggie. Hate the game, not the playa and all that jazz. She needs to embrace his Victorness or move onto a greener, though probably less extravagant, pasture. Maybe she could just camp out on the couch at the Martin House. There, she could give advice, throw some shade, and pass out lemon bars. Sounds, err, not that bad to me.
LINE OF THE WEEK
Eve (to Jennifer): "Don't drag me into your cray-cray."
LINE(S) OF THE WEEK: AWKWARD EDITION
Paul (to John): "You mean the vows that I wrote to Sonny? For our wedding that he called off?"
MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS
With Claire's killer swing, maybe she should form a baseball team with former major leaguer Paul and all-stars Chad "Hot Hand Signal" DiMera and Gabi "Curve Ball" Hernandez. Is Ciara still up for umpiring? Someone should ask. Go, team!
Can anyone hear or read "all-star" without singing, "Hey now, you're an…" in front of it. I was asking for a friend.
Kayla and Jennifer scenes are kind of awesome. More, please.
How much fun would it be to read celebrity gossip magazines with Steve!? A lot, I tell you! Though he'd totally out-crazy any of the pieces in those tabloids with stories of Salem shenanigans.
Why was Sonny dressed for work if he's unemployed?
I keep forgetting Xander has the recording of Nicole confessing to Dirty D's murder. I don't know why, either. I love Xander and Nicole…and Deimos, yeah, I can't make that same claim.
The way Steve and Kayla adore one another is endearing. I hope it stays that way. I fear it won't. Boo.
Does anyone get the impression that nothing good ever happens in Brooksville, U.S.A.? I think Salem townies need to start heading in the other direction for quick escapes and medical needs away from University Hospital. Unless that other direction is the Green Mountain Lodge. Worse things happen there than in Brooskville.
Eve told Jennifer that she's not really Eric's great love and that she's more of a consolation prize. Well. Yeah. What's that saying about even a broken clock being right twice a day?
What Gabi is doing might be all shades of wrong, but Camila Banus!? Wowza. She is bringing it! From the divalicious 'tude to the mischievous glimmer in her eyes, you can tell Camila is having a blast with the material.
I hope the network airs the "Watch DAYS on the NBC App" promo as much during other shows as they do during DAYS. I mean, we're already here. Appeal to the ones who don't watch already. Right?
Two weeks ago, it was fries and chocolate cupcakes. Last week, Steve got chowder and apple pie. Yep. Laurisa was right. Those Johnsons have their priorities straight!
I love Roman. I do. In fact, I love him enough to give him some tough love. And perhaps a taste of his very own "Whud 'da hell!?" zingers. He needs some wardrobe help. Maybe the Queer Eye guys could pay him a visit and convince him to break up with his metallic shiny shirt collection. Maybe? Roman's a hard worker. He can afford Bartlett's Department Store. He doesn't need to binge at the dollar bin of the Backstreet Boys' garage sale. Maybe Gabi could take some time out of her busy scheming schedule to make him chic again.
So, friends and fellow DAYS fans, that's it for the week of August 6. Laurisa is on deck and ready to pick up the pieces should these sassy writers send some of the storylines crashing down. And, "That's a fact!"
What are your thoughts on Days of our Lives? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.