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 Two Scoops: September 6, 2004 columns
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Vegas odds
For the Week of September 6, 2004
So, what are the odds? You're the wife of a mob boss, and your long lost Father turns out to be...drum roll... a prosecutor who busts Mobsters for a living?!?
So, what are the odds? You're the wife of a mob boss, and your long lost Father turns out to be...drum roll... a prosecutor who busts Mobsters for a living?!? Not to mention the fact that he was a paying customer of your Ex-Hooker Mom. A few of you have written asking me why Corbin Bernsen would take a role on GH, so for those of you who don't know, allow me to uncover his Solid Soap Connection. His Mother is the extraordinary Jeanne Cooper who plays Katherine Chancellor on the Young and the Restless, so he wouldn't dare snub soaps! The "meet cute" was perfect, the first encounter John Durant and Carly have, and she has to save his life from a gunmen in the bar he frequents. This does two things - it leaves him indebted to her, (Can't you hear Carly using this in the future - "If it weren't for me, you'd be dead!) And it showcases the fact that Carly is a fighter and fearless, too.

How did she even find him? Well, Coleman (Ogilvie, or salon perm?) helped Carly track him down in about 10 minutes flat, which can only lead me to conclude he Googled him and saw the headlines that were on the news. Carly could have saved herself 10 Grand if only she were computer literate. I want to be a less shallow woman and not make any more disparaging remarks about Coleman's hair, but I can't pass it up. So, did he go into a salon and say "Give me the same perm Luke had back in 1977 please." Or did he use an Ogilvie Home Perm and do that to himself? Either way, it's not a good look for him.

Imagine the fun when Carly shows up in Port Charles with her Daddy the Mob-Buster on her arm. I'm supposing Sonny will feel... betrayed. If you're married to someone, and they do something illegal, (which you know about) and you bring home someone whose life goal it is to bust people for that thing your husband does -well, that's betrayal. Mind you, Sonny IS a criminal and should pay for his crimes, but we all know he won't and that Sonny will just be furious with Carly and will swear he won't forgive her. Many times Sonny feels betrayed unjustifiably, but this time, I think he may actually have a point.

Speaking of points, Mary Bishop has reached the point of no return. Sure, they dangled that possible "Dual Personality" storyline in our faces, but it's not going anywhere. Mary will be dead by the end of the week. And who will be blamed? Emily. As you may recall, irresponsible student nurse Liz left Emily alone with a drug cart that happened to contain Mary's pills, and Emily got a wicked gleam in her eye. We all know what that means, she did something to Mary, like gave her too many pills, or switched her meds with someone else's' or something diabolical which will now give us a brand new murder case. But who can possibly defend her? Alexis is too close, Nik is her nephew and is already in trouble for firing at Mary with Mac's gun, and Justus is on the run with Faith. But Justus sees this as a way to save Faith, and offers to defend Emily in the murder trial if Sonny and Jason agree to spare Faith's life. They agree and Justus takes the case, but I wonder if it has dawned on him that as soon as Emily's trial is over Sonny may plug them both? Seemingly not.

Sam is fantasizing about Jason, and Courtney is fantasizing about Jax. Does anyone in Port Charles ever actually have sex anymore? (I've concluded that Sonny is automatically disqualified, just because he has fathered 3 children with 3 different women, so we know he's getting some.) And let's not forget Alan and Monica since the Blue Pills arrived, Nik and Em while they were supposed to be on the run, and possible Edward and Heather... EWWW!!! But back to topic... Sonny has sensed something brewing between Sam and Jason, and is getting more and more irritable with Jason by the minute and more and more possessive of Sam and Baby Lila. So far, nothing has passed between Jason and Sam, not even a kiss, but I predict it will. They've made a commitment to share a life together; it's not much of a leap from that promise to hot sex. An extraordinary thing is happening to Sam when she is with Jason, she's rediscovering her backbone. When she came to town originally, she was feisty and independent, then after the magical sperm of Sonny Corinthos entered her, she became a puppet who did whatever Sonny desired. The effects must have finally worn off. Suddenly, she has remembered that she has a mind of her own and is speaking it again. Finally! I think this could be a great match, it's about time for Jason to be happy and to be a father. I think we can all agree that Jason, if not a hit man, would make a magnificent kindergarten teacher, or child psychologist. He's simply wonderful with kids.

Jax's happy ending may come too, once he recovers from the snake bite and being chained to a chaise lounge on a hot, snake-infested patio... And if Sonny doesn't kill him first for stealing his plane and going to his private island. This is the place Sonny HIDES, and now his arch enemy Jax knows where it is, good going Courtney... Courtney warned Jax about the snake, but being a man; he paid no attention to her, and got bit. (HA HA!) If Courtney actually had any genuine feelings for him, would she have been able to chain the man to a chair and leave him alone after he had sustained a snake bite and she's bright enough to realize that there might be OTHER snakes out there? Did she think it was just one lone snake on the island? That seems a little cold, and Courtney isn't normally that brutal.

Something that was brutal, Brook Lynn's fake crying after reading Sage's letter. Let the girl sing 5 times a week, but please, stop making her cry. She must not have taken "Crying on Cue 101" yet in her actors training. When she isn't crying, she's doing a fine job, when she sings; she's doing an amazing job. But the crying? Please, make it stop. Trent's dead, too (and yes, I did miss that last week somehow) but apparently he left no letter and had no uncle. We haven't seen any relatives storming the Q's on his behalf demanding a settlement. Sage left a letter revealing her true self to Dillon, and composed a lovely poem which we all know is most likely going to be L and B's next single. Maybe if they give Lorenzo ½ of the profits, he won't kill them.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will there be another magic rainstorm where 20 people go outside and none of them get wet? Will Mary's alter ego descend from her body as a spirit and become a new character? Will Sam wear a top with sleeves when winter rolls around? Will Bobbie go back to being a hooker when it dawns on her she can make a lot more per hour than she does now? Will Lorenzo adopt Dillon since he misses having someone call him Uncle Lorenzo? Will they show us the snake bite on Jax's butt?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, so I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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