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 Two Scoops: July 11, 2005 columns
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A girl can never have...
For the Week of July 11, 2005
Lucky certainly was envious, he was mopey and whiney because Jax (who is a gazillionaire) bought some Little Tykes toy for baby Cameron.
My daughter Sarah makes me laugh. She is very sarcastic, (gee, don't know where she gets that) and has great comic timing. We were in line at the grocery store one day and our cashier looked as if Sherwin Williams did her make up. She made Mimi from the Drew Carey Show look plain. Sarah looked at her, and then at me and said totally deadpan "A girl can never have too much blue eye shadow." which made me burst out laughing right in the Clown Cashier's face. I thought about that line this week as both Carly and Emily had green eye shadow slathered on them like it was SPF 30 and they were in Jamaica. The I realized it was the color of the week - people had icky green shirts and there were icky green tablecloths and icky green walls and this smashed peas color was all over the whole town. Was this some signal I don't get, like a Solidarity With Green Peace week or something? If anyone knows, clue me in. Maybe it was Green With Envy week.

Lucky certainly was envious, he was mopey and whiney because Jax (who is a gazillionaire) bought some Little Tykes toy for baby Cameron. What an idiot. Here's my theory. If you have a pal who is a gazillionaire and he wants to buy your baby a toy that you can't afford, shut up and be thankful. Lots of poor babies don't have gazillionaire pals to buy them stuff. Lucky may not remember, but when he was a kid, his Dad and Sonny were friends, and Luke never said no when Sonny wanted to buy Lucky a little something. Rebecca Herbst as Liz is always a joy. She has chemistry with almost everyone, Ric, Lucky, Nik, Jax, Jason, heck you could probably pair her with Big Alice and make us want to watch. (Okay, not really, just wanted to see if you were still paying attention.) Jax and Liz hanging out together is fun, but Lucky's surliness is not fun, and having him stomp off every time Jax I around is just...well, to much like my own life. I hate it when people get jealous when I have other friends. It annoys me in my real life and annoys me on the show. When Liz asked Lucky outright if it was okay for her to be a surrogate Mom for Jax and Courtney, he said yes, but meant no. Honesty always works best, don't you agree?

And on that note - here's my honest thoughts on another topic...NuCarly's party. Maybe I am too proud, but if I threw a party and knew all the guests only showed up because my husband blackmailed them into coming, I wouldn't be all that jazzed about my party. I have a pretty healthy amount of self esteem, and I only want to be around people who like and appreciate me. I have no desire to chase the admiration or affection of people who don't appreciate me. Would you want a house full of people who think you're trailer trash at a party pretending to like you? Why Carly was happy about that, I can't fathom. She has a need to get the approval of the social elite and I can't understand why. Someone should buy her the Gretchen Wilson CD and force her to listen to Redneck Woman 50 times. On another note, imagine you had a party and some b*tch threw a drink on your dress. (BTW, what are the odds on the identical dresses?) Let's say you had to go upstairs and change and your ex husband came strolling in to your bedroom while you were in your undies with your new husband right downstairs. Wouldn't you say "Get the h*ll out of here, I'm married to someone else now?" I would. But then I'd never have that much green eye shadow on, or throw a cocktail party for people who hated me.

My Mama and my cousin Mary live in Florida, and thus I find myself watching the Weather Channel more often than I care to as hurricanes seem to be magnetically drawn there. But when's the last time you heard about a hurricane slamming into upstate New York? Only in Port Charles, of course. Now that this odd phenomenon is on its way, Lucky can't stomp off to pout about Cameron getting a new toy, and Dr. Thomas is stuck bunking down with Sam and Jason at Sonny's house. (Dr. Thomas reminds me of Will Ferrell, but without being funny.) And who knows who else will end up stuck together in the hurricane, maybe Jesse and Maxie and the weird freak lady whose house they had the bad fortune of stopping in.

Dr. Thomas is only at Sonny's as Michael left his backpack and that was his cheap excuse to stalk Sam. For some reason, he is trying to convince her that isn't capable of love due to his brain injury, but we, of course, know he is capable of love and has loved lots of people very well since his accident. Doctors aren't always right. Sam will probably trust her heart and ignore Dr. Thomas, but who knows what he will do to further his own agenda. Speaking of agendas, what is Jodie's agenda? Is she real, or a figment of Michael's imagination, and if she isn't real, who is eating all those sandwiches Michael keeps sneaking upstairs. I guess if we see Michael pork up, we'll know HE is eating all the sandwiches.

Carly doesn't know about Michael and the many sandwiches, as she is busy blowing off her best friend and proclaiming he's been demoted to Number 2 in her life. People sometimes say "Describe yourself in one word." and my word is always Loyal. I wouldn't turn my back on my best friends for anything, and up until this week, that's something Carly and I had in common. After the 100 times Jason has saved Carly's butt, sheltered her, gotten her out of jams, taken her side when no one else did and loved her at her most unlovable, for her to casually toss that away because of her new marriage is unthinkable to me. And, note to the writers, this is totally against character for Carly. Certainly over the years, Carly has been destructive and selfish at times, but when Jason needed her, she never failed him, and it angers me that the writers are having her distance herself from the one person on Earth who has loved her unconditionally. No one would willingly walk away from that. Stop for a second and ask yourself "Who on Earth loves me no matter what." Can you come up with a name? What would have to happen to make you walk away from that person? In the past, Carly would have taken a bullet for Jason, and now she can't spare him a few minutes of her time? Doesn't ring true, but then again, nothing about this incarnation of Carly rings true.

Maybe she's so cranky because wasted so much time stealing Reese's lock box but never bothering to open it. After busting in to Reese's apartment and clunking her on the head can you believe she gave the box back so easily without having gotten it open? Reese wisely dumped the contents into the fireplace, but as ALWAYS happens in soaps when someone is burning up the evidence of some desperate secret or vile crime, one piece of evidence managed to avoid the flames and was found by Rick who squirreled it away in his pocket for a later date.

The most touching scene for me this week was Skye lamenting about Carly and Lorenzo's relationship. Lorenzo backed Carly up and made sure she got what she wanted even though he had to bribe and blackmail people to get it for her, and Carly stood up for her husband at the hospital board meeting to the social elite while Skye watched with longing in her eyes. When you don't have a good relationship, you notice them around you - when you see someone who owns the love that you crave, it's hard not to want it even more. When you see it and know it exists, it becomes your one dream in life to own it, too. As the song says "The book of love is long and boring" but it's impossible to put down and unthinkable to stop reading it when there are chapters you haven't finished yet. Skye spoke to Luke so wistfully about having a where both people lived for the other and looked out for each other - we know she was wishing Luke could love her that way, but for the moment, Luke is working an angle with Tracy and true love isn't on is priority list. Here's my hope - I want Laura to come back and snag Luke away from Tracy and I want Lorenzo to get wise to Carly and dump her for Skye and I want Alexis and Ric to sop being buttheads and make up. I want people to get the love they deserve. Is that possible, dear readers? Do happy endings really exist?

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will anyone ever feed, hold or otherwise notice Morgan exists? Will we find out where Kristina's hiding? Will Bobbie notice Lucas hasn't been seen and was supposed to graduate with Maxie? Will Lulu get to meet her new step-Mommy Tracy? Will Sam or Courtney ever remember baby Hope? Will there be a whole series of Port Charles Amber Alerts? Will Rosie go the way of Foster and Annabelle and be lost forever?

Only tomorrow knows, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.



Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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