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He knows my name...
For the Week of August 8, 2005
Hey Liz! Ever hear of a SMOKE ALARM? How is it that Elizabeth's apartment became totally engulfed in flames from a baby bottle left on the stove?
I do not want to write my column this week. I lost an angel last night and it's really all I can think about. My 13 year old pal Denay died, and the world has become a little darker because her light was so bright. Denay had MD, and was the bravest person I've ever known. Her wheelchair didn't slow her down a bit, she could maneuver it through any obstacle like a NASCAR driver. I never heard her utter a single word of complaint, though she had legitimate things she could have complained about. But, she didn't see it that way. Her positive attitude and force of nature personality captivated everyone she met. You may know her name, she was an MDA Spokesperson here in San Diego and was on TV quite a few times. If you don't know her name, I'd like you to meet her and invite you to go to www.denaywilliams.com and see for yourself what an amazing little girl she was. I am so honored to have been her friend. Her mother Jackie and father Dennis are wonderful, warm people and have been amazing parents to her - she was a treasure and they knew it and lived their lives to honor the great gift God gave them in that precious child. My heart breaks for them, and for all of us who will miss Denay every day.

And even though I don't feel much like writing, dear readers, I know you count on me. I know this silly column I write matters to you. You write and tell me so every week. I am so thankful for your kind words and the appreciation you heap upon me. So here goes nothing, and if I'm not very funny this week, chalk it up to grief.

Hey Liz! Ever hear of a SMOKE ALARM? How is it that Elizabeth's apartment became totally engulfed in flames from a baby bottle left on the stove? I had a smoke alarm in my apartment that if you lit a candle it would go off until you had to beat it with a baseball bat to get it to stop sounding. Has Nurse Weber never heard of such a device? Good thing Jax was stalking her, oops; I meanreally close by without explanation again. I think he tossed a match up to torch the place so he'd have an excuse to go rescue her. He's getting awfully needy these days. So now Liz and baby Cameron are at Courtney and Jax's and Liz goes out and leaves Cameron for Courtney to watch? She's at Kelly's having some pie with Lucky and leaves her baby who almost burned up in a fire with Jax and Courtney who take the privacy to get it on. Cameron will have to fend for himself apparently.

Sam is fending for herself and on the stupid hospital roof no less. Okay - someone explain this to me. Last week, Nikolas and Courtney were locked out on the roof, as the lock was on the INSIDE of the door. Now Sam is locked out on the roof, but the lock has miraculously switched sides and Jason and Sonny can't unlock it as the lock is now on the OUTSIDE of the door. Nor can they kick it down or body slam into it like Inigo Montoya chasing the 6- fingered man in Princess Bride.

Not to mention that Dr. Thomas gave Sam who weighs 73 pounds (Her whole body probably weighs less than my thigh) a dosage of drugs that was initially meant for Jason who is a much larger person. So, one can only assume if this amount of drugs was going to kill Jason, it should be able to kill Sam 2, maybe 3 times, right? Those of you who hate spoilers, skip to the next paragraph now, as I'm going to speculate on rumors....No really, stop reading right HERE or you'll know stuff you don't want to know... Rumor has it that Sam is going to keel over from this injection and the person who comes back will not be Sam at all, but an "evil twin" - the most entertaining of all silly soap plots in my mind. Entertaining as in my column will write itself while there is an Evil Twin on the loose; because it's so silly the jokes just tumble out of every episode. What my sources do not reveal is if the real Sam will die or if she's just going to be chained in someone's panic room or something...Is Jason so brain damaged from whatever crap he injected into himself he won't be able to tell the difference?

Okay, it's safe here again, non-spoilers sorts What was the junk Jason injected into his arm, and where does one lay their hands on it? He said it was some "test drug" a "Clinical study" and I think "Hmmm. What sort of clinical study would be for med students who had their head crashed into a tree 10 years ago, lost their memory, and became hit men?" That would be an awfully small focus group. Apparently the only affect of this drug was to have Jason race off like a maniac and hallucinate his dead brother was alive while brandishing a loaded weapon, so I sure hope they don't bottle it up and sell it at Wal-Mart.

I wish they would sell something at Wal-Mart that would turn NuCarly into either of the Old Carly's. Tamara or Sarah would both be fine replacements. I dislike NuCarly more every minute. Why? Because Carly is a pivotal character to several storylines, and being unable to accept her as a pivotal character makes the scenes unwatchable, or worse, I have to watch them and get mad because they're so flat when they would be so rich and deep and layered with the right actress in the role. They should do Carly-Idol and let US vote for a Carly -have a new actress in the role every day for 2 weeks and the viewers vote in a NuCarly at the end of the tryouts. Of course this will not happen, so we will have to watch painful scenes like Carly slapping the hospital desk and bellowing at Lorenzo about having her tracked and unbelievable scenes of her lying to John Durant and having to wonder why he wants that annoying wretch of a daughter in his life anyway. She's simply dreadful in this role, and I will not stop saying it until she goes away and a better Carly is hired, I can't help myself.

I can't help myself from hoping Lorenzo tires of Carly and dumps her for Skye either, as I really LOVE the chemistry between those two. I honestly can't imagine a man having a choice between Skye and our current incarnation of Carly and picking Carly. Skye is a very evolved and soulful character, and Lorenzo is a passionate and complicated man. They both deserve a little luck in love, and I hope they eventually get it.

Someone who doesn't get it is Georgie. Hey! Georgie! Here's a handy tip - if your sister is a Ho, best not to let her move in with your boyfriend. No, seriously. Have you forgotten all about Sage? Dillon just can't resist a vixen.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Jax have to rescue Liz from the shower when she nicks her leg shaving with a dull disposable razor? Will Courtney pull a Faith and push Liz down the stairs in a moment of jealousy? Will Jason shoot enough mind altering drugs into his system to remember he's a Quartermaine and take over ELQ? If Liz's baby is a girl will Courtney name her Rosie? Will Reese decide if she wants to be an FBI agent or a lawyer, and change into some real clothes?

Only tomorrow knows dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.



Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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