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 Two Scoops: November 20, 2006 columns
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For the Week of November 20, 2006
Everyone was amazed at the miracle and then KABOOM, the treatment wore off …
The first time I heard this story was back in 7th grade when our teacher had us read a book called "Flowers for Algernon" which was about a mentally handicapped janitor who volunteered to try an experimental treatment. It worked, and not only did he become mentally sound and alert, but grew to near genius level. Everyone was amazed at the miracle and then KABOOM, the treatment wore off and he reverted back to his original simplistic mental state…

The next time I saw it, it was called Awakenings, the 1990 Robin Williams/Robert De Niro film, where a bunch of patients who had been catatonic for decades were brought back to reality by an experimental drug treatment. They got to experience all sorts of magical things, and fun field trips, then KABOOM, the drug wears off and they all drop back into their eternal stupor, never to be awakened again.

Even House had an episode where John Laroquette, grateful for something to do since Night Court got cancelled, played a dude in a coma who was given a drug to awaken him but only had a day before reverting back to Coma land, and spent his one alert day driving to Atlantic city to get a pastrami sandwich.

How sad that the writing staff of GH couldn't have come up with a more inventive way to end things. We have seen this story before, and it feels like such a cowardly escape. The scenes this week where they threw lines in like Robin and Luke's "Well, we always knew it would only be temporary. I really don't want to swear in this column, as my Mom reads it, but what a bunch of B*llshit. In Robin and Luke's original conversations about this treatment, that was never one of the facts mentioned. When Patrick investigated it on his own and he and Robin argued about it, he never said "Why bring her back if it will only last a month?" Do you know why they never said that? Because the writers hadn't decided on that yet. They had only thought far enough ahead to "How do we get Laura out of her 4 year catatonic state?" and never looked around the corner into "What do we do with her once we have her awake?" Pity, isn't it?

The writer's don't understand how closely we pay attention. We aren't stupid, and when they pull the old Bait and Switch on us, we get angry. Soap fans are cult followers. We're insanely addicted to these shows and especially when Soap Royalty like Luke and Laura are involved. Did they really think we wouldn't catch it if they slid it in later "Well, we always knew it would be temporary." Liars! We did NOT always know it would be temporary. In fact, Luke went on and on about how much Laura's kids needed her to be there in their lives, and never once added "for 3 weeks."

But hey, its Sweeps week. The Powers That Be feel completely justified in hauling Genie Francis in for a few weeks to boost their ratings; show advertisers they have X million viewers and increase their ad rates for the year. Who cares if they cheat the fans out of a decent and original storyline, or make the best use of a beloved actress and find a way to keep her around?

Mind you, I'm glad we got to see her at all, I adore her. Don't mistake my disappointment that she isn't staying for regret that she came at all. I'm so thrilled we got her back, even for a few weeks. But I'm hungry for more Luke and Laura. I am not ready to lose her again, and I know you aren't either from the letters I have been getting. So many of you wrote me letters on this subject, I started just forwarding random letters to ABC - I told them, "I am just one person, but today I am representing 3390 voices." , and sent them a handful of your letters. Will they read them, or hit delete? No idea. But sending them made me feel as if I at least tried to do something.

Griping aside, let's move to the wedding. First, a question. What in the world was Carly wearing? Did she find a thrift shop in Port Charles specializing in 1960's Twiggy Mod Outfits? Good heavens, that dress was hideous. But being the beauty she is, Laura Wright pulled it off somehow, but just barely. Big Alice looked splendid, and I was happy they gave her the chance to dress in her party clothes. She's really a very striking woman but normally has to wear her Maid duds. Tracy was a drunken hoot in black, and Monica's foot came in quite handy when Tracy thought about causing a scene. Maxie was a Skanky Ho as always, and pushed her way into family photos to accentuate the fact that she's a pathetic desperate loser.

But all that is background noise. The real story is the Bride and Groom who looked amazing. Luke is still a hottie in my book. I swear Tony Geary is 5 times more handsome now than he was in the Bad Perm phase. He's aged so well. He's still got that twinkle in his eye and he oozes with charm Even if he hadn't raped Laura back in the day, she would have caved in and said yes to him eventually. (No angry letters please, I am NOT condoning rape, nor making light of it.) Laura was equally dazzling. Genie Francis was sparkling and golden, her smile is radiant and her eyes look at Luke with such love. There is a part of me that believes a good deal of that chemistry is Genie and Tony themselves. I don't think you can fake that level of absolute adoration. Sure, they play Luke and Laura, but those two human beings genuinely love each other. There are people in life that just connect with one another and it's clear that Genie and Tony are crazy about each other. I think with their appearances in the press last week, The View, Good Morning America, etc- it's easy to see their chemistry even when they aren't playing Luke and Laura. I love them together. They have passion and that's a thing we are sorely lacking in Daytime right now. We need them and their magic. Please rethink this writers, I beg you.

And, I don't want to give the writers and actors all the credit, didn't the set look amazing? The multi colored lights and flowers and trees and horse and carriage - those things don't magically appear there - someone set the romantic mood for us and deserves an award for the sheer beauty of it. And Lulu was just stunning in her red gown - Nikolas dashing, Liz glowing, Lucky debonair- a great week in the costuming department too; with the exception of the aforementioned hideous gown Carly was wearing.

Next… Diego is dead and I'm sad. Unless he died to make enough money for Genie to stay and then I can live with it. I admit, when Ignacio Serricho first came to GH as one of Courtney's foster children, I didn't speak very highly of him. First off, he was only like 2 years younger than Courtney when she was assigned to be his Mom, and secondly, he was a bit wooden when he first showed up. But now the guy has loosened up, and was actually getting a storyline, both with Maxie and as is Father's protégée, and Kaboom, he's dead.

Diego's death launched a storyline for our budding young actress Kali Rodriguez, a.k.a Kristina, who witnessed the shooting of Diego and was traumatized by what she saw - her big sister Sam gunning someone down. This storyline also introduced us to our latest comic relief, the computer whiz Spinelli who blew Jason and Sam's cover to make a snack run to 7/11. Now the mob war is in full swing. All bets are off, Lorenzo is hell bent on revenge, Ric is determined to take down Jason, Sonny wants Ric to pay for hurting Jason, and Jason is bleeding at Liz's feet where she dropped The Big Secret of her baby's paternity to give Jason the will to live. I can hardly wait until Monday.

What will happen next dear readers? Will Elton the Wedding Planner track Laura down and snipe at her for planning a wedding without him? Will Luke regret having a photo with his arm around a Cassadine? Will Helena be more inclined to taunt Laura, or kill Colleen next week? Will Kristina have better luck finding a shrink to deal with her post traumatic stress than Michael did when the Dr. Thomas brainwashed him to think he killed AJ? Will Liz ever start showing, or just buy a fake baby pillow like Maxie is doing? Will Manny Ruiz show up to mop up Jason's blood in the chapel? (I think he was the last janitor they hired. No one mops since he left.) Will Tracy end up in rehab with Lucky? (If so, that would make 2 people in rehab.) Will all of my dear readers count their many blessings like having money for TV's and spare time to watch Soap Operas and access to the internet? (I hope so. I love you guys, Happy Thanksgiving.) Will the Quartermaine's order anchovies on their pizza?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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