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 Two Scoops: March 3, 2008 columns
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Bridge over troubled water
For the Week of March 3, 2008
Talk about cliffhangers… The suddenly undead Diego's car balances precariously on the bridge with Sam wiggling around in the trunk and Liz fiddling around in the backseat, as the car teeters back and forth over the raging (but never before seen) river below.
Talk about cliffhangers… The suddenly undead Diego's car balances precariously on the bridge with Sam wiggling around in the trunk and Liz fiddling around in the backseat, as the car teeters back and forth over the raging (but never before seen) river below. I don't mind admitting I was on the edge of my seat and yelling instructions to the TV.

I yelled at Liz and told her to GET OUT of the car while Diego was still unconscious, but she never ever listens to me. I remember when Ric had Carly trapped in the panic room, I yelled PUSH IT at her for weeks when she held the remote that opened the secret door, but she didn't listen then, either.

Liz was just about to get out, and then heard Sam whimpering in the trunk. Instead of doing the logical thing; getting out of the car and running to get help, she got back in the car and apparently thought she could dig Sam out of the trunk with her Lee Press on Nails. Sure, some cars have back seats that flip down, but did she really think she'd be able to get Sam out alone without the car plunging over the bridge, or Diego waking up?

Next, Lucky arrived on the scene and called for back-up, but didn't wait for it to arrive. Instead he ran over to the car, not even wearing a bullet proof vest, and got himself shot. Poor Lucky - his name is such a freaking lie.

Apparently, Lucky was just happening by when he saw the car over the edge - I don't think he knew that Diego was the TMK - unless Nikolas called him on the way out the door with No Name Nurse in tow. (It's really beginning to irk me that she's seemingly stalking Nikolas, by the way. Wherever he is, there she is right behind him. Creepy!) Lucky didn't know about Diego, as Jason, Max, Spinelli, Maxie and Ghost/Hallucination Emily all solved the case (or nearly solved it) before the cops did. I guess Lucky will feel guilty for not believing Sam now, ay?

While the Text Message Killer Escapade unfolds on the bridge - another drama is unfolding in the hospital corridors. Patrick finally got Robin to admit that he is indeed the father of her baby. I'm so delighted - I was afraid we were going to have to wait until the kid was in Jr. High or something. Now that Patrick has this knowledge, what will he do with it? Will Robin allow him to be part of her pregnancy and her child's life or will she dig in her heels and thwart him at every turn?

A couple of weeks ago on Soap Net, they showed 3 pivotal episodes from Robin's past and while watching the episode where Stone dies of AIDS - I remembered how much I loved THAT Robin - that gentle tender accepting young lady. I sure would enjoy seeing that Robin more often instead of the cold and condescending harpy she has become. Maybe impending motherhood and renewed connection to Patrick will soften her. One can only hope.

I also hope that when Johnny gets out of the padded room that we get to hear the masterpiece he's composing with the magical Sharpie he found in the wall. Do you think that means some other lunatic that was in the padded cell back when it was an asylum got locked on their right after art class and hid his marker in the wall so he could draw while in solitary? Very curious.

Also curious was the Campbell's Soup commercial masquerading as an episode of GH. While I applaud General Hospital for educating us on women and heart disease, I didn't really need to see Kelly's lined up like a supermarket shelve with hundreds of cans of soup to get the point. Yeah, we get it; Campbell's Soup is Mmm Mmm Good for your heart. (Or at least some flavors. Others are sodium laden and full of fat.) Point being - I own a Tivo so I can fast forward commercials and just watch the show, so it bugs me when the show becomes the commercial. I know Disney owns ABC, so when I sometimes see Mickey Mouse posters in the background, I just smile at their clever marketing - but the holding up the cans of soup labels toward the camera was just annoying.

All that having been said - Sonya Eddy (as Epiphany Johnson) is fabulous and has really shined through this whole Stan's death/Heart attack storyline. I know people just like Epiphany, all business on the outside, but with a heart of flesh just beneath the surface, thinly veiled - so afraid someone will see their vulnerability. She brings that to life every day. I am also delighted to see the developing friendship between Epiphany and Cassius -it's very tender and warm and real -they are both very believable and I commend them on their fine work.

More kudos this week to the sweet scene between Mike and Sonny; these two so rarely interact, but when they do, it's always golden. I've been watching Ron Hale since his Ryan's Hope days, and he's always been a joy to watch. He and Maurice Benard have a visible connection when they work together, and I want to thank the GH writers for remembering that this week.

Maxie and Spinelli have themselves trapped in the sewer, one can only hope when the floodgates open it's not all the soup that Mike dumped out after the ladies heart health club left Kelly's. Maxie was carrying a flashlight, but my husband kept saying "Why does she need that flashlight when there is a giant beacon shining on her head? I couldn't come up with an answer…

Spinelli tracked down some mysterious numbers that Maxie found on the back of wrapping paper that Coop wrapped her Valentine's gift in… Boy that Coop must have been like Nicolas Cage in Next. He KNEW he was about to be killed, so he hurriedly wrapped Maxie's Valentine and scribbled a clue on the back of the wrapping paper knowing she would open the gift and realize those random numbers were a clue to find the killers' secret lair! Yeah, right.

That's almost as plausible as my biggest laugh of the week - Diego explaining to Sam how he single-handedly rerouted the ventilation system in the sewer so just in case he brought back a victim to kill and they happened to go up into the ducts that their trail would lead right back to him… Um, is this the same Diego that Courtney took in as a foster child who was such a moron he could barely form a sentence? Since when did he take engineering?

Question; Is every scene with Claudia going to begin by focusing on her stupid feet? Yeah, we get it - she likes red shoes. And, she's got some great ones - heaven knows I couldn't walk an inch in some of the shoes they have shown her wearing - but nonetheless, her face is more interesting to me than her toes. I think she and Lulu could end up being friends - Lulu showed her loyalty by helping Claudia confirm that Sonny had Johnny locked up someplace.

The Zacharra's of course, don't have Michael- apparently that ship he hitched a ride on went to Appalachia and he ended up in Granny Clampett's cabin. She's probably fixin' him some Possum Stew for dinner, but it didn't look like she had a Fancy Eatin' Room.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Michael have to swim across the Cement Pond to escape Granny? Will Clarence the angel hop into the river to save Diego? Will Johnny get L and B records to record his new song? Will Logan wake up with a really bad headache? Will Patrick pass out cigars in the unisex locker room? Will Every Day Hero Sam be able to pull a Houdini and free herself from the trunk, or will arch enemy/ex lover Jason have to rescue her? Will Kristina not tell anyone that no one has seen Molly for 2 weeks? Will Max get some mob purple heart for going down in the line of duty?
Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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