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 Two Scoops: August 18, 2008 columns
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The other Lansing
For the Week of August 18, 2008
Molly Lansing; the forgotten child. On the down side, when Alexis took Kristina to the park, Molly got left home alone.
Molly Lansing; the forgotten child. On the down side, when Alexis took Kristina to the park, Molly got left home alone. But on the up side, she did not get threatened by a maniac mobster. No one plans to drown Molly at day care; no one has threatened Molly in any way. I wonder how this affects sibling rivalry. Kristina may taunt her with "Ha ha, Molly, *I* got to go to the park with Mommy, and *you* had to stay home alone. Again. Mommy never takes you anywhere!" But Molly can come back strong with "Yeah, but I heard Mommy telling your Dad someone wants to kill you, so after you're gone, Mommy will take me to the park."

Okay, that's nonsense, but I did wonder why Molly didn't get to go to the park. Of course she is the spawn of the same gene pool that produced Ric and Trevor, so she probably did something bad.

Sam's turn at playing undercover detective ended badly. You would think the former host of Everyday Heroes and former mob moll would have a bit more savvy regarding gunfights, but instead of taking cover, Sam decided to make a run for it and didn't make it to wherever she was running to; she got shot and we saw her slump to the ground. I would guess her cover is blown, because Lucky, her supposed ex-boyfriend jumped out from behind his hiding place yelling "Sam!" So the fact that her cop boyfriend was on hand and running to save her was probably a dead giveaway that they aren't really broken up.

Robin and Patrick discovered that they will be having a baby girl. I am glad they were able to make that out -- when I see ultrasound pictures, they look like chicken legs or alien creatures to me, I never can make out an actual baby. However, my friend had a 4-D ultrasound and that was pretty phenomenal, I actually saw human features, although it was a little creepy, like a computer-generated animation was in her body.

Patrick is panicking because he doesn't know how to raise girls. The very best advice I could give him is to go have a heart-to-heart with Robin's Uncle Mac. Poor Mac got saddled with Robin, Georgie, and Maxie when their respective irresponsible parents dumped them on his doorstep and fled. He probably has oodles of insight. Many of you have asked why Matt Hunter is so interested in Patrick and Robin -- rumor has it he will be a long-lost sibling of Patrick's. Supposedly, he will be a half-brother, some illegitimate son that Noah Drake left along the way. Time will tell, but that's the rumor I have heard.

Kate Howard, the supposedly brilliant businesswoman, isn't quite as clever about real life as she is about fashion. How many mobsters does she have to find in her living room, how many shady phone calls and meetings that abruptly end when she walks in, does she have to witness before she realizes Sonny is lying to her and is up to his eyebrows in Gangsterland again?

It's probably hard for her to concentrate on whether or not her fiancé is a criminal, since she has so many important matters to handle, like what sort of napkins should go on the table and whether or not to have a sand ceremony.

When Kate showed up on Jax and Carly's doorsteps to have Jax make a phone call, I wanted to slap her. Anyone who thinks Carly is overreacting ask yourself this question- - if some woman your husband worked with came to your house every night with some fake emergency that only your husband could handle, how long would it be until you reacted to that situation? Every time Jax and Carly have a moment alone, Kate's at the door. Carly asked, "Couldn't you have just called him?" Well yes, she could have called him, but she went to their home and invaded their lives again. And Jax doesn't understand why Carly would be upset. He mentions her friendship with Jason, but Jason doesn't drop by their house every night to whisk Carly off to some emergency cocktail party in his limo.

Johnny and Lulu finally had the good sense to flee Sal and Lourde's building and head for the border, but Johnny decided instead to swing by Shadybrook, where everyone knows Lulu, since she goes there to visit her Mom all the time. Hey Johnny, good plan. I know Canada is a foreign country and all, but I bet they have mental hospitals and therapists there, too, although they might say "eh?" at the end of every sentence and drive Lulu even crazier. Three minutes after they checked in, Nikolas was alerted, and apparently Scott Baldwin, too -- he showed up with a pack of policemen to arrest Johnny in no time flat. Lulu was able to get one good ear-piercing scream in as they dragged Johnny off in handcuffs.

Spinelli is the hospital again -- I keep thinking they are leading up to something where a genetic disease of some sort will be unveiled, and we'll finally find out who his parents are. My money is on Kate and Trevor, but that's merely a guess. Some have suggested he's Kate and Sonny's son, but Kate has said she and Sonny never had sex when they were in high school, so unless they are lying, they can't have parented a child. I mean, Sonny's sperm are potent, but up until now, he's actually had to sleep with a woman to impregnate her.

Dear readers, I ask your forgiveness about the brevity of this week's column. My wireless router has gone to the great computer junkyard in the sky, and I can only work in brief intervals when I can catch various wireless networks in my neighborhood that I can hook up to for about four-second stretches. This is monumentally frustrating. A new one is on the way from Dell, so by next weekend, I should be back in business.

What will happen tomorrow? Will Johnny still look hot in a prison jumpsuit? Will Maxie but more cheese enchiladas so she has more reasons to pick fights with Matt Hunter? Will Lulu share a room with Laura so they can just have two blonde wigs in rockers? Will the writers ever decide if Jerry is a good guy or an evil one? Will Carly sprain her other ankle while trying to walk around in stilettos with one gimp foot? Will Dead Bloody Logan appear to Scott Baldwin so they can have a proper goodbye scene? Will Lourdes run away to Port Charles so she can continue to stalk Johnny?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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