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 Two Scoops: August 10, 2009 columns
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Fool me once
For the Week of August 10, 2009
As the saying goes, 'Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.' Or, as Oprah so succinctly put it, 'When someone shows you who they are, believe them.'
As the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." Or, as Oprah so succinctly put it, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."

Thus, I must deduce that Claudia was unaware of those sayings when she picked up her phone and hit the speed dial button for Jerry Jacks. Seriously, dear readers, under what circumstances would you ask for help from a psychopath who had been blackmailing you for months? It's a puzzle to me, but that is what she did. Now Jerry is on the loose again at Claudia's request and the fate of two children rest in his mentally unstable hands.

I tried to imagine her thought process…"Hmm, I want to get vengeance for my miscarriage. Who can I find that would be crazy enough to hunt down a teenage boy with a brain injury who is the son of an unforgiving mobster whose shooting I inadvertently caused? Oh, I know! I'll call that handsome blackmailer Jerry Jacks!"

Claudia is devastated over losing her baby, and the dream she had this week where she was holding her child was absolutely heartbreaking. But she does have a reason to smile; she will be able to slide back into her black leather pants again any day now.

Jerry informed Claudia she was no longer calling the shots, and he was running his own mission. Jerry intends to use Sam and the kids as bait to catch Jason. There was one of those random quizzes on Facebook this week entitled "Five Things You Would Put in a Hole if You Wanted to Trap Me." If Jason took that quiz, two of the things on his list would be Sam and Michael, so Jerry is off to a good start. I think Jason's other three would be a loaded gun, Jake and a pool table. Just guessing.

Jerry may succeed in luring Jason to the right spot, but my money's still on Jason over Jerry Jacks in a showdown. (Especially since Steve Burton just re-upped his contract.) I have seen Jason take out 12 guys by himself, so I am not feeling much suspense over whether or not Jason will survive Jerry.

Will Sam escape Jerry's clutches? Well, that's not as much of a sure thing.. There are rumors that Kelly Monaco's role will be recast, at least temporarily. Perhaps Jerry will hurt Sam, or kidnap her and disappear into the night where she will re-emerge as a new actress in a month? Who knows, it's all just rumors right now.

As for Jerry's other unwitting hostages, I am sure they will be safe, I can't imagine that Jerry would purposely harm Michael. As you might recall, Jerry felt so guilty over his role in Michael's shooting he actually confessed to Jax. Also, since Jerry dated Alexis and appeared to have genuine feelings for her, too I will assume Kristina is safe as well. As Kristina mentioned this week, Jerry is kind of like extended family.

Perhaps Jerry will finally be made to pay for his past crimes, but I doubt it. The best villains never get caught, because you need them to pop up from time to time to wreak havoc. Anthony is in jail, Helena has vanished (and rumors suggest she has Luke!) so Jerry is the only viable villain on the scene right now to propel the action forward.

If the rumors are true that Helena has Luke, I foresee a joint adventure between Ethan and Lucky to rescue him, which I would welcome. Lucky has a little Luke in him, he just doesn't let it out often, so perhaps Ethan can remind him that it's kind of fun to be a scoundrel. Besides, Ethan is too interesting of a character to spend all his time being clingy and needy and obsessing over Rebecca. He needs a storyline with some action.

Lucky and Ethan already began the bonding process this week when they teamed up to beat the living daylights out of Dante/Dominic for shooting pool with Lulu. It's about time Lulu got another love interest, she's been dry too long. Imagine the daughter of Luke Spencer hooking up with the son of Sonny Corinthos? Imagine Lulu telling her dad she was dating a cop! Another door opened that appears to be leading to good storyline possibilities. Color me happy.

Back in Port Charles, Kristina's sister Molly is being tormented by the abusive and creepy Kiefer. I can't decide if he is going to end up being the driver in Claudia's accident or not, but for a supposedly innocent guy he sure is acting guilty. When I saw him throwing things at the wall and breaking them, I thought "Oh no, he's probably another of Sonny's illegitimate kids and is bi-polar, too!"

Sometimes I wish you guys were with me when I was watching so I could use my good lines right at the moment. I feel better now that he Kiefer on Sonny's radar, because that boy seriously needs a good beat down by Max and Milo.

Molly overheard Alexis admit that she took the blame for the car accident because Kristina was driving, but Molly hasn't blurted that little tidbit out to anyone yet. But she will. Little girls aren't known for their secret keeping powers in a crisis. The question is to whom will she decide to blurt it out? For Alexis' sake, I sure hope it's not Kiefer or Andrea Floyd.

Across town, Sonny's other son Dante, (the one he doesn't know about) has finally uttered the truth we have been waiting for; he's a cop. Will Olivia remain silent? Even if she doesn't want to be with Sonny romantically, she obviously still has some feelings for him. I can't imagine that Olivia would let Dante put his own father in prison for life without uttering a word.

I can understand that Dante would be traumatized by seeing his mom hooking up with a guy his age, but as for me, no complaints. I like Olivia and Johnnie together. In my past I have dated younger men and older men and never really saw it as an issue. What do you think readers? Are you appalled that Olivia is dating someone younger? I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.

Dear readers, we are going on week three of watchable storylines. I am so delighted. I would like to offer kudos to the writers who honored GH history by having Edward reminiscing over photos of Lila on their anniversary. Between the Sally Spectra nod on the Bold and the Beautiful and the Lila nod on GH, I got a little misty eyed here in Soapland this week.

Sometimes I share an opinion and I get 100 letters from people who agree with me. But other times, I realize I am out of sync with other viewers, and one of those times is on the topic of Elizabeth and Nikolas. The "Why is it every time I am drunk I want to kiss you?" scene made me happy, but I know many of you are against an Elizabeth and Nik hook up.

As for me, I like the idea. Elizabeth suggested that Nikolas was just drunk, and she wasn't the woman he really wanted. But Nikolas asked her if she was sure about that, because he wasn't. Hmm. Promising. Nikolas probably knows he can actually trust Elizabeth, not to mention their history.

But with Rebecca? She is an enigma to him. She's hot and cold and he still doesn't accept the reasons she gave him for suddenly moving into the Q household. Rebecca isn't worthy of Nikolas.

Sure, she says she's sorry now and wants out of the con game, but she hasn't confessed her original intent to Nikolas yet. If Nikolas finds out from Ethan or anyone else before Rebecca tells him herself, Nik will have a hard time ever trusting her again. I don't see how that relationship can work out.

You know readers, I have a soul mate and I know his eyes and face and smile and hair and voice and the way he thinks about things. If, God forbid, he keeled over tomorrow, and some other guy came along who looked just like him, but was NOT him, it wouldn't be the same. It's not the face I am in love with; it's the heart beating inside the body that I adore.

The fact that Nikolas has fallen for Rebecca who is nothing like his One True Love Emily except for the fact they look alike is kind of creepy to me. Even Nadine with all her quirks and clumsiness was closer to Emily in spirit than Rebecca is, because Nadine had a pure and kind heart.

Rebecca now regrets her criminal intent and wants to call off the scam. Something tells me it's not going to be as simple as wishing for it. Does she truly regret her behavior and want to be a better person, or is she just hot for the tattooed Prince?

Hey, readers. Next time I want to know if someone is right handed or left handed, I'm just going to chuck something at them and see which hand they put up to keep from getting beaned in the eye with some keys or a flashlight or whatever I decide to throw at them. Apparently that's how it is done these days.

Robin might be the child of two super-spies and the niece of a policeman, but I'm not so sure she got their genetic predisposition for investigative work. I admire her commitment to proving Alexis' innocence; I'm just not convinced she has the grace to pull it off.

Robin might be many wonderful things, but subtle isn't one of them. Chasing a suspect down the hall to try and end up on the elevator with them isn't really very nonchalant.

Spinelli is also not very good at subtlety and showed up at Maxie's house with the purest intentions to ask Mac for Maxie's hand in marriage. The sad thing is Spinelli doesn't know that Maxie is counting on Mac saying "No." But, what if he has a sudden change of heart and decides to say yes? That's what I am rooting for. I want Maxie to run out of excuses to say no. Girls, if you are out there and you have a Spinelli in your life, say yes.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? If the hospital gets short handed will they call Lulu back to be a candy striper like Mike had her wait tables at Kelly's? Will the Travel Channel name Veracruz one of the hot new travel destinations since upstate New Yorker's are flocking there in packs? Will Carly enter the world series of Rummy after her practice matches with Max and Jax? Will Molly take one of the hybrids out the garage for a spin to go see Morgan? Will Edward remember flashbacks of him and Lila that the rest of us will see? Will Ghost Alan drop by and say hello to his dad on his anniversary? Will Dante get over the shock of seeing his Mom's hot body in action? Will Sonny buy Claudia a puppy to keep her company?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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