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 Two Scoops: November 09, 2009 columns
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It was a dark and stormy night
For the Week of November 09, 2009
Every time something truly awful happens in Port Charles, it's either during a terrible rain or snowstorm.
One of the most important reasons for living in San Diego is to avoid weather related Soapalicious disasters. Every time something truly awful happens in Port Charles, it's either during a terrible rain or snowstorm. If you live in a climate where those weather conditions don't exist, it apparently lessens your chances for random tragic mishaps.

For instance, it seems possible that the rain turned Maxie's hair brown, caused Carly's hair to frizz, and made Sonny's hair two inches shorter. Of course those could all just be coincidences, but why take a chance? All we know for sure is that the rain wasn't strong enough to wash the blood out of Sonny's silk shirt, or put out a fire at a drenched cabin the woods. Hey, I bet there were still some carved wooden ducks in that cabin from when Nikolas had amnesia.

Someone needs to school Carly in the art of being quiet. When Carly regained consciousness in the crashed car and found Claudia was still out like a light,Carly should have run as fast as a woman in labor wearing heels in the mud could run and high-tailed it out of there.

But instead, after escaping the car, she climbed back in and dug around in the glove box to discover a dim flashlight. I have rented a lot of cars in my day and none of them came with a flashlight in the glove box. Then, after Carly got out of the car with the crappy flashlight, she slammed the door loud enough to guarantee arousing the sleepy dragon. Carly, next time, just GO.

As luck (or convenient writing) would have it, Carly stumbled on an abandoned cabin complete with candles, firewood, matches, a blanket (or was that part of her outfit?) and a straw Toto like basket. And just as she settled in to have her baby in peace without the aid of drugs, Wet Bloody Claudia appeared.

In the meantime, everyone was frantically searching for Carly as Sonny uttered my favorite line of the week to Bernie…"All the Goombas I have on the payroll that are fearless, can't find a woman who is dragging around a hostage in labor?" Hilarious.

The worst part was I knew what was going to happen, but I kept hoping it wouldn't. Like every year when I watch "It's A Wonderful Life" I hope Uncle Billy won't accidentally fold the deposit up in the newspaper and hand it to Mr. Potter. But he always does.

I knew Claudia was going to die, and I knew it was Michael that was going to kill her. But when Claudia got all helpful and encouraging and delivered the baby, I really wished she had a chance at redemption although I knew she didn't. Her tender line "My baby died inside of me and I'm not going to let that happen to yours," moved me.

Poor Claudia…even though I knew the who and the when, I didn't know the how, and when I saw that Stone Coldish look on Michael's face as he drew back to slam Claudia in the head with the axe, it was downright chilling.

Sarah Joy Brown is an extraordinary actor and she will be missed on GH Thankfully I have already caught her first week on B and B as soon to be surrogate mom Sandy Sommers, so I didn't have to miss her for very long.

I can't leave Laura Wright out of the mix; it was downright painful to watch her as a scared woman in labor dragging herself through the woods, because she was so believable. But even better were the powerful scenes she shared with Jason, Jax, and Olivia.

Carly got this look of sheer betrayal and disappointment in the scene with Olivia when she discovers Olivia knew about Claudia and stayed quiet. I follow Lisa on Twitter and one of her comments was "When Laura Wright yells at you, you know you've been yelled at." Yeah, I can imagine. If it's that intense on TV, right in your face would be like to the 10th power.

Hey! Drew Garrett! Dude, start putting your Emmy reel together right away, you're a shoe in! Readers, when I first read that Dylan Cash was being replaced as Michael, I was peeved. But Drew Garrett is no second rate Michael. He has an incredible range and proved again this week that he can hold his own in scenes with the powerhouse actors of Daytime.

He can play the ruthless mob son who is numb about bashing someone's' skull in, and switch gears to playing a scared, vulnerable child with equal skill and ease.

Michael and Sonny's discussions this week were full of a thousand storylines. Michael said that Carly wanted Michael to turn out like Jax, but that after the incident of Claudia's killing it was clear he was like Sonny instead. Sonny countered and explained to Michael that because he loved him, Sonny would never allow Michael to become like Sonny. Michael said "I killed someone tonight. Claudia threatened my family and I took her out. How does that make me any different than you?"

Sonny could not reply because he knew what Michael said was true. As good as Sonny's intentions were to keep his kids away from the violence and mayhem of his business, he didn't succeed and as a result, Michael's life was inalterably changed

Jason just stood there with his hands in his pockets hovering over the body while Max and Milo did all the digging. Hey Jason, were there only two shovels? The fact that the camera kept flashing on Claudia's bracelet lead me to believe a missing stone would pop up eventually. Add that to the newly brunette Maxie spotting the bloody handprint on Sonny's white silk shirt, and the photo that the secret stalker took of Jason hovering over the dead body, and the mobsters have trouble on their hands.

It seems clear they are leading up to the moment when either Jason or Sonny ends up in prison for Michael's crime. I think the fact that Jason accidentally broke into the wrong cabin might save him, because he was in the exact wrong direction and had to go back home before he went the other direction to the right cabin.

Several of you tweeted this week that Jax was being a jerk. Well, in all honesty, you used more colorful lingo to describe him, I'm going to keep it "G" rated and stick with "jerk." You may hate me for this, but I agree with Jax. Everyone saw Claudia take Carly hostage, Michael hit Claudia because she was going to steal his baby sister and possibly kill them all. As Lucky suggested, they should give the system a chance to do its job for once. But, since the family already covered for Kristina when she ran Claudia off the road, I suppose it's only fair they cover up Michael's crimes too.

The real question is why Carly told Jax at all, except I guess she couldn't yell at him for lying to her when she was lying, too. She forgave Jason for keeping the same secret in 3 seconds flat, but can't forgive Jax or Olivia. It was the same secret, so why does Jason get a free pass?

Allow me to go on record and say this was a stellar week on GH for everyone. Laura Wright, Lisa LoCicero, Steve Burton, Maurice Benard, Ingo Rademacher, Drew Garrett, and…wait, I can't keep naming the entire cast, but everyone was on their game last week and it made for riveting viewing. I even watched all the episodes twice and still barely fast forwarded a single scene.

Another thumbs up to the music department- between Adam Lambert's cover of Mad World and the opera music that played over a montage of events, my ears were in heaven.

My favorite new couple hands down is Lulu and Dante. Julie Marie Berman and Dominic Zamprogna sizzle in their scenes together even when they were supposedly marinating in ice water in the burned out Zacharra basement. Speaking of which, wouldn't a cop know if a place was condemned it wasn't structurally sound to pad around in?

Lulu is holding the secret of Dante's secret identity for the moment, but with no promise as to how long she will stay silent. On the up side, Dante has saved her life twice so hopefully that will have earned her silence. There is something very genuine about their connection, an ease and a lightness of spirit that none of Lulu's previous loves' have captured. I hope this couple sticks.

As the couple shivered together with blue lips in frigid water, Lulu asked Dante to give Sonny a free pass in what she believed to be her dying moment. Will the fact that Lulu asked Dante to spare Sonny as a last request make him drop the case when his mom failed? Dante is very fond of Lulu but maybe not fond enough to give up his Inigo Montoya-like revenge on Sonny. If it were me, I would give Sonny a free pass just to piss off that bossy loudmouth Ronnie.

While Lulu's motives are good, I was yelling at Sonny this week. Yeah, that's right, you heard me. I talk to my TV. While Jason, Sam, Dante, Lulu, Johnnie and a host of others were out looking for Claudia and Carly, Sonny was having cocktails by the fireplace and flirting with Olivia. Seriously, how cold is that? While Claudia was being hunted down by his Goombas, (his word, not mine,) Sonny thought that would be a great time to take a walk down memory lane with Olivia. Men!

The overriding theme of the week was clearly blame; everyone wrestled with guilt about the part their actions played in the tragic events of the night. If Jax would have told Carly what he knew about Jerry and Claudia, if Michael would have told his Dad when he remembered Claudia's confession, if Olivia wouldn't have kept Jax's secret, if Sonny would have believed everyone who tried to warn him about Claudia, then maybe, just maybe none of the bad things would have happened.

The truth is they are all right, each of them is equally to blame because they all made bad choices that culminated in tragedy. I loved that the writers explored that angle and I hope they continue to explore it. Why? Because if people are truly sorry, they change and I want to see some life changes come out of this for at least one character.

Michael doesn't know how good he has it. He got into a fight at the country club, and Sonny went and flexed a little muscle and got him out of it. Michael killed Sonny's wife and he said." You did good!" Huh!?!?

I grew up back in the day when people were allowed to whack their kids. I broke some boy's arm once by pushing him off my swing set when his mom called him for dinner and he wouldn't go. I said "Your MOM is calling you!" and gave him a shove that ended up with a cast on his arm. I was SURE my dad was going to say "You did good!" but alas, I got my ass whooped instead.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Luke pick up the Cassadine/Spencer war with Nikolas because he knows he's trying to steal Lucky's woman? Will GH tell us the next time it's "Salon Day" so we aren't so startled when everyone has new hairstyles? Will Kiefer stop messing with Michael once he discovers that Michael will crack people in the head with axes when he's upset? Will Olivia finally spill her secret to protect Dante or Johnnie? Will Jocelyn be played by one baby or will they keep switching between the dark haired baby and the light haired baby?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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