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 Two Scoops: September 20, 2010 columns
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Wile E. Coyote, meet the Road Runner
For the Week of September 20, 2010
As I watched Carly react to the news that Brenda was back in her life, I was reminded of Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.
As I watched Carly react to the news that Brenda was back in her life, I was reminded of Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner: Carly being Wile E. and Brenda, the Road Runner. Every time Carly thinks that Brenda is out of her hair -- Meep! Meep! -- there's Brenda again.


Hi everyone, Tamilu is off for a well-deserved vacation. She asked me to step in for her for the next couple of weeks, so without further ado, let's dive into last week's General Hospital.


I thought that Carly's head was going to explode when she saw the mockup cover for Crimson, with Brenda's face smiling back at her. It was like seeing Wile E. Coyote watch the Road Runner zoom through the dynamite-riddled tunnel unscathed.


Poor Carly, she was riding high on postcoital bliss, after shagging Jax on the desk, and then BOOM Brenda practically prances into the room via Maxie's portfolio. I'm starting to suspect that Jax is quite the manipulative little bastard because he had to have known that Carly would not take the news well. Carly told him as much when she confronted him at Kelly's about it. I was happy that she saw through his ridiculous act later that day, when she walked in on him telling Maxie that he would arrange to have Cartullo change their winter ad campaign to remove all traces of Brenda from it. Really Jax? It's insulting how stupid he thinks some women are.


I don't think that Carly would have been nearly as upset about Brenda being featured on the cover of Crimson if Sonny hadn't just jumped bail to visit Brenda in Rome. That stuck in Carly's craw like a burr on a donkey's ass. Even in Rome, with a movie star boyfriend, Brenda managed to get the attention of all of Carly's men. We know that Carly views the Golden Trio (Sonny, Jax, and Jason) as hers because Carly made a point of declaring this at Jake's, the hottest dive bar in town.


I half expected Carly to get a delivery from Acme as she sat there knocking back shots of whiskey and chasing them with beer. In all honesty, I can't blame Carly for wanting to get drunk; Brenda's pedestal is so much higher and shiner than Carly's.


I cracked up when Carly proudly bragged that she got Sonny and Jax to marry her, whereas Brenda did not. Newsflash Carly: Sonny and Jax are not exactly prizes; both men have betrayed you multiple times. Plus there's the Jason factor. I'm pretty sure that Brenda's marriage to Jason, trumps Carly's four marriages to Sonny and two to Jax. However, that could just be me being part of Team Jason.


I have to say, I'm a little surprised that Sam turned down Jason's offer to go to Rome. Hello, it's Rome. Plus, I don't care what Jason tells her about Brenda, she cannot ignore the fact that for the past eight years, which according to Brenda was the last time that she had seen Jason, he's had a shrine, known as the regrettably pink room, in his very manly penthouse that Brenda designed. A pink room that he has, on more than one occasion, made very clear was not to be changed. I get that Sam wants to show Jason unconditional trust, but it's not cool to be a blind doormat for a guy. Not only would I have gone to Rome with him, but I would have made sure to pack my sexiest outfits, highest heels, and to let Brenda know that he was very much spoken for.


I think I would have also had something to say to Carly when she arrogantly announced that Jason's first obligation was to Carly and her kids. Don't those children have fathers? I can guarantee you that Brenda wouldn't have stood there smiling if Carly had made that statement to her.


That is exactly why I'm really looking forward to Brenda and Carly coming face-to-face again. That phone call between Brenda and Carly was just a small taste of the hours of entertainment that we are in store for once Brenda arrives.


I love Brenda; I truly do, but I'm really getting tired of her Roman holiday. It's time for her to come home. The Balkan storyline can play out in Port Charles just as easily as it did in Rome, since Dante has heard of the Balkan. Who knew Bensonhurst was such a hotbed of international criminal activity?


Speaking of the Falconeris, I sure hope Olivia remembers to wear rubber boots the next time there's a storm because I'm fairly certain that woman is long overdue for a lightning bolt to strike her for all those broken promises that she's made to God, while pleading for Johnny's life to be spared. I have to keep a piece of paper handy, in order to keep track of whether or not she is or isn't with Johnny. It's downright dizzying how often that woman changes her mind.


Olivia could take lessons from Lisa on sticking by her man. Brianna Brown is playing Crazy Lisa to perfection. There are times that even I believe some of the stuff that comes out of Lisa's mouth. Her feigning concern for Robin's mental state during that review meeting was eerily convincing, especially when she rounded her eyes and mouthed, "Wow" after Robin stormed out. I imagine that Lisa was a bit shocked by what Robin had to say because, act or not, every single word out Robin's mouth had been true and heartfelt. However, the actual review was lame and I'm disappointed that Lisa didn't see through it. A doctor's future with a hospital should not be determined by her husband, his lover, and the chief of staff. There should be some kind of review panel in place for something like that.


For those of you who work in a hospital, could you please let me know how something like that would really go down? I'm dying to know.


I am a bit confused when exactly Steve jumped on board with helping Patrick and Robin though. I recall him turning down Robin's offer, but then he ended up popping over to Mac's to give Robin an update. Unfortunately, at the same time, Maxie was at the hospital discussing Patrick and Robin's plans with Patrick out in the open. Naturally, Lisa overheard, so she raced over to the nurses' station to write out a prescription for a heavy dose tranquilizers that even the nurse never heard of. That does not bode well for some poor soul.


If you read the news here on soapcentral.com, you'll know that Stone (http://soapcentral.com/gh/news/2010/0816-sutton.php) is going to be making an appearance soon. I'm looking forward to it because I think that Robin really needs someone to talk some sense into her. Mac, bless his jaded heart, has a point that Patrick cheated, but he's not taking into account that the marriage wasn't on solid ground because Robin had checked out of it. That's not an excuse for what Patrick did, but it's important for Robin to remember that her marriage was in crisis when she left for Africa. It takes two to make a marriage work. I think Stone is the only one who can open Robin's eyes and help her to find forgiveness in her heart for Patrick.


Please riddle me this: why in blazes is the Balkan storyline taking place everywhere in Europe except the Balkans? Why is Lucky in Ireland posing as some guy named Ronan, instead of in Budapest posing as some guy named Janos? I would think that the Balkan would be more apt to have people from his own neck of the woods working for him instead of outsourcing to Ireland. Is it because Jonathan Jackson and Erin Chambers (Siobhan) can do Irish accents better than they can do Hungarian or Slovak accents?


I think Jonathan is a fabulous actor and I really love that they've put some fire in Lucky's belly, but what could have been a brilliant storyline for him is losing some of its impact with me because the exaggerated Irish accents are just too distracting.


However, I do like the chemistry between Lucky and Siobhan, so I am kind of hoping that they end up hooking up, even if it's for a short time. Lucky needs a healthy fling to help him get over Elizabeth. More importantly, he needs to be open to a new relationship when he returns to Port Charles. I think that Siobhan can do that for him.


By the way, writers, please remember that Lucky is a recovering addict. You can't have him randomly knocking back shots of alcohol and guzzling pints of ale without there being some consequence. If Lucky is that good at conning people, then surely he could manage to hang out in a tavern without actually swilling the booze.


Sonny is a leopard through and through. Those spots will never change. I had to giggle when Sonny asked Dante if he thought that using Claire to forget Brenda was wrong. You really have to ask that Sonny? The truth is that Sonny doesn't care if it's wrong or not because he's going to do it anyway. That's just the way he rolls because he's a horn dog. You don't end up with a passel of kids by a gaggle of women because you think with your brain.


I just hope that Claire doesn't end up as a sister-mother to another of Sonny's children. It's not that I don't want her to have a baby, I'd just rather see it happen with someone who really wants to be a father and is willing to put his child's needs ahead of his own. That's just not Sonny.


Well, dear readers, thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. Please let me know what's on your mind by dropping me a line. Until next week, take care.
Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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