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 Two Scoops: November 8, 2010 columns
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How to save a life
For the Week of November 8, 2010
Why is Port Charles so dangerous?
Why is Port Charles so dangerous? Every week someone needs protection, is about to be kidnapped, is getting into a car that's about to blow up, is at the wrong end of a loaded gun, or is about to be otherwise harmed.


A lot of energy is expended in upstate New York trying to keep the residents safe. Must be something in the water they drink. Imagine if these boneheads would all just stop being criminals - they could go for months or even years without bracing themselves for impending doom.


In my lifetime, no one in my extended family ever needed mob protection of any sort, nor did any of them have to flee to their private island to go into in hiding…Well, except when my bad cousins stole a bottle of champagne at my grandparent's 50th anniversary and drank behind the party center when we were kids. Even if they had been caught, no bullets would have been fired. (In fact in my family there's a strong possibility that they would have been congratulated on following the family tradition.)


This world of violence and guns the GH writers portray, where bad guys are portrayed as misunderstood good guys, really unnerved me this week more than most.


Disclaimer…I'm going to ramble sideways for a couple of paragraphs, so if you're not interested in my random observations that only mildly pertain to GH, feel free to skip the next two paragraphs.


Last week a San Diego policeman was gunned down in cold blood during a routine probation check. He was by all counts a nice man with two kids he adored and a host of friends. Around 4000 people showed up to pay their respects, (photo attached) and everyone told wonderful stories about his kindness -- like "picking up homeless people in his squad car and taking them to dinner" kind of stories. An honorable man who spent his life serving the public is gone from the earth because some loser druggies didn't want to get caught breaking probation. Moral of the story: Criminals aren't nice people.


At the end of the day, I went home and turned on GH and realized what a warped world they portray. In Port Charles, the PCPD officers Lucky and Dante team up with the local hit man and various thugs to work side by side to solve crimes as if they're on the same team. They're not. It bothers me every week that GH turns criminals into heroes, but especially on the day I saw a real hero buried. As much as I like the characters, the overall concept leaves a bad taste in my mouth.


Okay, back to business…


General Hospital finally picked up the pace this week, and the plot started inching forward. The carefully laid out plan to use Sam as bait failed when Brenda couldn't stay put, and she ended up shooting someone and had a meltdown of epic proportions. Brenda started babbling incoherently about "last time," as if she'd killed 30 guys, and with intense gazes in Dante's direction sent red flags that finally uncovered her previous (two-week, but highly eventful) relationship with Dante.


Brenda could easily tell Jason what happened, but in order to protect Dante's part in things, she stayed silent. The reason Brenda is such an appealing character to me is because she's selfless at heart. She is willing to put her own life on the line to protect Siobhan's life or Sam's life, she's willing to set aside the glamour of being a supermodel to go to dangerous places and help kids. Brenda is flawed but has integrity and things she stands for.


Carly is jealous of Brenda, and rightfully so - what man wouldn't prefer a generous, beautiful soul like Brenda to Carly's absolute selfishness? I think Carly hates Brenda so much because Brenda's goodness causes Carly to see her own selfish reflection more clearly, and she knows Brenda is a better person than Carly is capable of being. It's like me being jealous of skinny girls because I realize I'll never be thin. Carly might put her life on the line for her kids, Jax, Jason, or Sonny, but wouldn't care less about Siobhan or anyone else outside of her orbit. But hopefully, Carly is about to become a nicer person.


Michael is going to do his best to persuade Carly to drop her vendetta on Dante. I hope to heaven that he succeeds because I don't like the direction this storyline has taken my beloved Spinelli. When Nerds Go Bad is not a film I want to see. I like my Spinelli sweet and good-hearted and not vindictive, and his partnership with Carly has changed his basic character, which I despise.


Try as they might, the truth will come out - it always does eventually. Except on soaps, what am I thinking? Lucky is still walking around believing Aiden is Nikolas' son, after all.


When Brenda was arrested, Sonny went to her (of course), and she fell into his body with full force. Unfortunately, he swooped in to comfort Brenda right in front of Claire, who plunged into "a woman scorned" mode and turned in evidence indicating he was responsible for Johnny's car bomb. Readers -- we can think of Claire as the bad guy, but in reality, if a guy did to you what Sonny did to her, you'd be looking for revenge, too, right?


I was engaged to a guy in the 80s that I'd been seeing for five years. When he confessed that he had a one night stand with some bimbo in a bar and got her pregnant, I didn't handle it graciously, instead I… hmm is there a nice way to say "trashed his life"? Not that I'm proud of that behavior, but that's what I did in the heat of the moment. As I was writing about this, an old Elton John classic came on to my iTunes shuffle and hit the spot - "Keep your auditions for somebody who hasn't got so much to lose, I can tell by the lines you're reciting, that I've seen that movie too." - Elton John


Claire has heard all of Sonny's well-rehearsed lines. He insisted he had nothing to do with Johnny's car bomb, but now she has proof, his own voice on a tape admitting it. Claire turned the tape in, but knowing he's guilty hasn't dissipated her strong emotions. She immediately set about trying to undo it and made calls until she found a way to get Ronnie's evidence inadmissible.


If you were Sonny and you had to choose between "soul mate and love of my life Brenda" or "can get me out of prison but I don't really care about her Claire," which option would you choose? Have you ever had a relationship like Sonny and Brenda's, where you can just sit and stare in each other's eyes and not say a word, and that's enough? Just knowing the person is in the room with you, or is at your side looking out in the same direction, is enough to make everything right in the world? I have, and it's magnificent.


I am not sure if the writers are going to give Sonny and Brenda the happiness they deserve, but I hope so because I want to see what it looks like when two people who have loved each other for years but could never get it right finally make it work. I want to see and experience the sweetness of their long-awaited reunion. Come on, writers, help a sister out here.


Siobhan, the other bad puppy who didn't learn the word "stay," got herself kidnapped by the Balkan and has turned out to be a very good liar, spinning a lovely tail about being Nikolas Cassadine's au pair. I know there are mixed feelings about Siobhan and her accent, but I'm in the "like" camp. I think she's a great match for Lucky, and I look forward to him rescuing her and passionately throwing her down on the first flat surface and making love to her for five hours.


Jonathan Jackson makes me happy every time he's on-screen. He's got that je ne sais quoi<./i> that just makes my heart leap from my chest whenever he emotes. Some actors leave daytime looking for greener pastures and never seem to find that one perfect role they hoped for, and eventually make their way back to daytime. In Jackson's case, I say, "Their loss, our gain."


He's one of those actors that never sets a boundary, who lays his heart bare for the good of a scene and puts everything in his soul into the performance. I would like to go on record right now and say that if Jackson doesn't win a Daytime Emmy next year for the killer scenes when he found out Liz and Nik were sleeping together, I will never watch the Daytime Emmys again. Hold me to it. His desperate pleas to Jason for Siobhan's life were so full of fire they ignited my soul. How about you, readers? Does JJ move you, too?


I was displeased when ABC re-cast Drew Garrett with Chad Duell. But Chad has skillfully taken Michael from a confrontational angry Michael to a somber and brooding Michael, which I think is merited by his dark and troubled storyline. Their attempt to lighten his character up with a friendship/budding romance with exotic dancer Abby is a nice twist, but all I have to say is she sure does dress conservatively for a dancer. I show more cleavage than she does, and I'm an old woman. She wears more turtlenecks than Waldo.


This week, I was interviewed for a blog by a wonderful young man, and one of the questions was about the Lisa, Robin, and Patrick triangle. I'm having a hard time getting invested in this storyline because Robin is the victim and … I don't like Robin. It's bad when you're watching an insane stalker and semi-rooting for the stalker, isn't it? We had some local news interruptions, and I didn't see how the fire at Mac's started. Did Lisa genuinely start it? (Of course she did, right?) I used to care about Robin, but over the years her character became so grating she lost her place in my heart. Sadly, rumor has it that Lisa will bite the dust in December, so I fear she's not going to be redeemed. I hope Lisa has an un-evil twin out there so we can keep Brianna Brown.


What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Johnny and Ethan patch up their bromance? Will Alice put Mr. Luke into one of her wrestling choke holds to keep him away from Edward's scotch? Will the delicate peace between Sonny and Kristina last, or will she run into Ethan on the docks on the way home and use her teen angst over her father as an excuse to spend time with him? Will Edward give Brenda a rose from Lila's garden, or something more lasting to remember her by? Will Brooke Lynn ever think to drop by and say hello to her Mom's best friend?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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