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 Two Scoops: May 9, 2011 columns
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The real mothers of Port Charles
For the Week of May 9, 2011
It is Mother's Day in Port Charles and sadly, many of the residents receive cards or flowers in praise of their parenting skills. First up is Elizabeth, who, with three young active boys, did not close her front door and has still not learned that lesson -- it was open again on last Friday's episode when she was home alone.
It is Mother's Day in Port Charles and sadly, many of the residents receive cards or flowers in praise of their parenting skills. First up is Elizabeth, who, with three young active boys, did not close her front door and has still not learned that lesson -- it was open again on last Friday's episode when she was home alone.


Despite living on a busy street with no street lights, she brought her boys home, took them upstairs, came back downstairs and never once even noticed that the door was open. I don't know about you, but I never leave my front door open, not because I worry about a child getting out, but because I worry about mosquitoes and insects getting in, not to mention an opportunistic thief. You would think, with all the crime and stagnant water in Port Charles, Elizabeth would have those same concerns.


And speaking of Elizabeth's home, I seem to remember that she moved to a quiet secluded neighborhood so her children would be safe. Now it turns out that she lives on a busy thoroughfare (seven cars passed by in five minutes) with a traffic light on the corner and no streetlights. I think Elizabeth should bear some of the blame for Jake's demise, along with Jason, Lucky, Nikolas, Steve, and whoever else was in a position to put up a fence around her house and did not.


Now Elizabeth is struggling with whether or not to tell Lucky that he is Aiden's father. That should be a no-brainer. Tell Lucky. Both father and child deserve to know that they are related. And besides, if she does not tell, later in life, Aiden will develop a disease that can only be cured by a blood donation from his real father. Send a card, but definitely no flowers for Elizabeth.


And speaking of Jake's death, it appears that in Port Charles, only those who commit homicide in self-defense, like Michael, are sent to prison. Luke did not even spend one night in jail for hit-and-run and vehicular homicide. It was deemed a regrettable accident, which I do not think the police even investigated. At least Alexis had to do some community service time for running down her daughter's abuser and forgetting to report it. It seems that the best way to murder a person in Port Charles is to hit them with a car and drive away. Sonny and Jason should consider switching from guns to cars as the weapon of choice.


Alexis is another mother who will get a card but does not deserve flowers. She refused to let Kristina have contact with her father and fixated on Yale as the only college choice for said daughter, causing Kristina to hyperventilate and turn to "vitamin supplements." She also encouraged Kristina to date a boy who was abusing her. Alexis spent most of her children's lives advancing her career while the never-seen nanny parented them. It is no wonder that Molly searches fruitlessly for a happily ever after and Kristina fell under the spell of evil Dr. Lisa, who hooked her on pills.


Next up is Carly, who seems to be ferocious in support of her children and close friends. Unfortunately her only friends are men. I question how good a mother Carly can really be. She got where she is by sleeping around and getting good divorce settlements. She lies whenever it is to her advantage or when one of her criminal pals needs help out of a jam. She is mean and vindictive to anyone she thinks has wronged her and to anyone she does not like.


Michael's stupid stubbornness in the wake of Brandon's murder seems to be a reflection of Carly's less-than-stellar parenting skills. To her benefit, she is loyal and occasionally shows that she has a heart. Carly does seem to have forgiven Lulu, and she was there for Luke. Her love for Josslyn drove her to ask for Jake's kidney, despite Jason's intense grief. Carly deserves a card from the boys and possibly flowers from Josslyn.


Robin gets higher marks that Carly and Elizabeth, but just barely. She is another mother who depends on daycare and a nanny to raise her child. Admittedly she is a busy doctor, but you would think, that she would want to spend free time with her daughter, or at least take the kid along when she visits friends like Brenda and Sonny. When she and Patrick were broken up, Robin seemed to spend more time with Lisa's doctor friend Terrell than she did with Emma. Now that Robin and Patrick are back together, they seem to spend as much time going out on dates as they do with Emma. It is just a matter of time until Emma starts calling Kristina "mommy." Send Robin a card and perhaps a single rose.


Olivia will get both a card and flowers from Dante, because she devoted her time to him when he was a child, kept him away from Sonny's influence, and raised him to be a good man. She is over her fling with mobster Johnny, who was young enough to be her son, and has moved on to a respectable doctor her own age. That has made Dante very happy. She is a mother any son would love-especially when she is his date.


No cards or flowers for Brenda who, hands-down, is the worst mother in Port Charles. She has done everything wrong from the first moment that Suzanne appeared at Sonny's door, claiming that Lucian was Brenda's son. Instead of getting a confirming and easily obtained DNA test, she blindly accepted Suzanne's word. Next, instead of introducing Lucian to his extended family, she isolated him from them. After two days she broke down and accused Sonny of not caring as much for Lucian as he did for Michael-well duh, Sonny had been in Michael's life for 18 years and had known Lucian for a mere 48 hours. Of course he cared more for Michael; he also cared more for Kristina, Morgan, and Molly because he has known them longer.


Brenda freaked out and jumped to all the wrong conclusions when Lucian was kidnapped. She blamed herself -- as well she should -- for leaving the bodyguard in the car and looking away while gossiping with Robin. Once she concluded that the kidnappers had to be in Sonny's world, she became fixated and hysterical. I wonder how Brenda would react if Lucian -- heaven forbid -- got a paper cut.


There was no reasoning with Brenda once she decided what her reality would be. Instead of trusting the man who stuck with her after the revelations at her wedding that could have torpedoed it, she went to his archenemy for help with a plan so flawed that even Jax had to support Sonny's position.


Despite logic and proof, Brenda's hysteria and insecurities ruled the day. She would not even entertain the notion that Suzanne could have taken Lucian. (One does wonder why, when Suzanne became a "person of interest," neither the PCPD nor Sonny thought to put a tail on her. If they had, she and Lucian would have been caught at the airport.)


Despite Brenda's cutting remarks and accusations, Sonny remained calm, though there seemed to be a tinge of regret in his behavior. One cannot help but wonder if Sonny was rethinking his decision to marry Brenda. A beautiful trophy wife is fine when things are going right, but a hysterical, insecure shrew is a whole other matter.


I do think that Vanessa Marcil Giovinazzo's acting has been superb as Brenda unraveled. She is very believable. I just wish she were portraying a stronger, more likeable character. Brenda is pathetic. She has survived all these years on her looks. I do not think Sonny would have married her if she had gained 50 pounds during the interval that they were apart. Hopefully they will break up and she will leave Port Charles in the very near future, never to return. Instead, send back her stable, secure, more mature, long-lost twin. After witnessing Brenda's near breakdown, Jax was probably very glad that he did not end up with her, either.


Jax wants to be both father and mother to Josslyn and is willing to fight Carly for custody. Considering his track record, that he is not around for the long haul and always bails on his women when trouble looms, one wonders how long before he tires of Josslyn. No cards or flowers will be sent in praise of his mothering skills.


It has always amazed me that Jax can maintain his holier-than-thou attitude toward Carly's gangster alliances and ignore the violence that surrounds him through his brother Jerry. I think it would be great if the writers gave us a story where one of Jax's business rivals tried to eliminate him. He is supposedly ruthless in business. Surely there are people who hate Jax enough to try to kill him. Or, one of Jerry's enemies could go after Jax and Josslyn as a way to flush out Jerry, who is thought to be dead, but likely, is not. Having Jerry back on the canvas and adding him to the mix around Josslyn has endless possibilities. It's about time that Jax got a slapdown.


As for the other mothers in town, the least Carly could do is send flowers to Bobbie, who forgave her after Carly slept with Tony and broke up Bobbie's marriage. Tracy will not be getting a card or flowers from Ned or Dylan, but she will likely get them from her stepchildren, who she has treated better than her blood sons. Jason might send a card to Monica if he stops grieving over Jake long enough. Sam, the would-be, wishy-washy mom is all about what Jason wants and will make a terrible mother if she does not figure out what she wants and find the courage to admit it. I shudder to think what kind of children crazy Dr. Lisa would spawn, especially if she used Anthony as a sperm donor.


Meanwhile, it was a sad day for soap fans when ABC announced that it was canceling All My Children and One Life to Live. Now there are rumors that GH will be the next to go. It is time, dear fans, to put our feet down and stand up to ABC. We need to tell them our opinion.


Personally, I do not care for talk shows. I rarely watch The View, Oprah, Dr. Phil, or their ilk. Talk shows pass around the same guests at the same time, generally those who are touting their most recent movie and trying to get us to go see it. On the whole, I find the interviews boring, repetitive, and insincere.


When AMC and OLTL are gone, I will not watch any ABC daytime programming other than GH. I will commit to not watching any of their programming, including nighttime, for at least two years if they cancel GH to pay for Katie Couric. I will never watch her show, even if she lands an interview with the recently deceased Osama bin Laden. I will switch my loyalty to the remaining CBS soaps to get my daytime "fix." Meanwhile, I will voice my opinion everywhere that I can, starting with the sources kindly provided here on soapcentral.com in the Support Our Soaps mini-site. I encourage you to do the same.


Finally, cards and flowers to all the mothers out there who do not have soap opera lives and yet have always managed to do right by their children. As you bask in the glow of your family's love, you can be grateful that the honchos at ABC cannot cancel your lives as easily as they can those of our beloved citizens in Port Charles.


Call me a fan-addict. I say, "Long live daytime drama-now and forever."

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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