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 Two Scoops: July 4, 2011 columns
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Goodnight, sweet prince
For the Week of July 4, 2011
If you missed Thursday's GH, stop reading my column and go watch it because I don't want you to read these words until you've felt them. I want you to watch this scene and feel this speech pack the wallop with which it will most assuredly hit you.
If you missed Thursday's GH, stop reading my column and go watch it because I don't want you to read these words until you've felt them. I want you to watch this scene and feel this speech pack the wallop with which it will most assuredly hit you.


Nikolas: "When you're lying on your death bed and you're about to take your last breath, what do you think you're gonna think about? Huh? Some big case that you cracked that nobody else could solve? Some nice vacation that you took with all your friends? Not even that intervention that you had with Luke that apparently didn't do any good. You're not gonna think of any of that stuff. You're gonna think of one thing and one thing only. And that is... just before you pass and you hold your hand out, the only thing that you are gonna care about is whose hand is on the other end, brother. That is it. If you can answer that riddle... then you've figured it all out."


Nikolas Cassadine said it all. And he said it with passion. Readers, did you answer that question for yourselves? Such a poignant and beautiful speech, Prince Nikolas. The discouraging thing about this scene was that it marked the final episode of Tyler Christopher's contract. We finally got back the Nikolas we've been waiting to see just as he was about to board a plane out of Port Charles. Tyler is a gifted and passionate actor, a funny, insightful guy (I read his blog) and was a gift to GH. I truly hate seeing him go.


On the bright side, this past week, I felt like I was seeing long-lost family members again because I actually recognized the characters on GH who started acting like themselves again. GH's past few years were like one of those bad sci-fi movies where aliens take possession of people's bodies and make them do unnatural things. But the city of Port Charles has been freed from its evil overlord and they can go about the business of being themselves again.


Helena emerging from the shadows as Nikolas left was the perfect surprise -- we hadn't heard a peep from her since she switched Aiden's DNA tests, but it's very much in character for Helena to be lurking in the shadows watching her evil plots unfold.


I hope this is not the final farewell for Tyler Christopher -- I think Nikolas is a vital character in the Spencer extended family. Without him on canvas, the decades-long Spencer/Cassadine feud withers, and it's too juicy to lose all that great history. Besides, Luke could use a good round of sparring with Helena to help him push past his grief, and if Nikolas is gone, Helena doesn't have much reason to visit Port Charles.


Speaking of GH core families, Nikolas' departure touched on another withered family -- the Quartermaines. The scene with Nikolas at Emily's grave was so moving. It reminded me of how much romance we lost when the Previous Writer decided to knock off Emily at the Black and White ball. (He whose name I will not write. Previous Writer is now Persona Non Grata to me; I refuse to mention his name ever again.)


I want to interrupt this column to make a formal announcement to Garin Wolf -- Dear Garin, I am going to give you SO much leeway. If you bring Emily back from the dead and say Rebecca was a brainwashed Emily the whole time -- I'll eat it up. If you bring AJ back from the dead and say Sonny had him kidnapped and tied up on the island all these years, I won't blink! I can already tell that you're trying to give us back the show we love. I know you have a lot of unraveling to do, and baby, I'm rooting for you. I will suspend my disbelief for an entire year to give you the freedom to right every wrong done to the denizens of Port Charles.


I teared up this week as Edward reminisced about all the people he had lost, because I lost them, too. I will rejoice if the Quartermaine household is full again by Christmas. Bring back Ghost Alan to read the Christmas story; seriously, I promise to forget he's supposedly dead and just enjoy the scene.


I have a hunch Michael won't last long at ELQ, or at least will have a struggle making the adjustment. While I was watching him restlessly pacing around his office, I tweeted to my followers on Twitter "Yo Edward Q -- please groom ME to be your heir. You can manipulate me all you want. I'll start in the Enduro department at ELQ. Swear!"


Michael just barely graduated high school, and he has job opportunities with every Fortune 500 company in Port Charles. So, while crime doesn't pay, being raised in a crime family apparently does pay.


Meanwhile, back at Sonny's -- Jackal P.I. is about to get his face blown off by Sonny, who is shy 20 million smackers. The thing that Bradford Anderson does best is bring comic relief to Port Charles, and this new incarnation of Spinelli is somewhat delightful to me -- not because I don't miss "real" Spinelli, I do -- but because it's forcing the people of Port Charles to see and relate to him in a new light. I think we can all relate to the notion of the person we are in our head versus the person people actually see walking around. I can assure you, I am way cooler, thinner, smarter, and more successful in my head than I am in real life. Maxie may protest, but you know "Dollface" loved that passionate kiss. I want our adorable and awkward Spinelli back, but not quite yet. Let Jackal P.I. walk around a little more. Maybe Maxie will have to give it up to bring Spinelli back. I'd be fine with that, too.


One thing I am not fine with is the shrieking harpy who now wears Brenda's face. Brenda was always feisty, but this incarnation of Brenda is so unlikable. The Brenda/Sonny mystique has essentially been ruined for me forever. All these years we waited for them to get together and have a chance at happiness -- but -- turns out Sonny and Brenda are not happy together at all and don't really get along. I cringe every time I hear her say Alec's name, and when she and Alec leave town, I won't be crying. Perhaps it's intentional to make her unlikable so we won't be sad when she leaves, and if so, it's working. It's gotten so bad that Carly looks like the stable and rational one, now. Scary!


Jason has always been stable and rational…for a hit man. I think he should lay down his gun and ask Edward to send him to college to become a licensed counselor because everyone in town shows up on Jason's sofa for therapy. Sadly, he's not really quick on the uptake; it took prodding from Maxie for Jason to realize Sam might want to marry him. But seriously, now that NY has legalized gay marriage -- I'd rather see Jason and Sonny solidify their long-term bromance!


Another sign things are heading in the right direction -- we have an actual hospital-related drama at General Hospital! Elizabeth, distracted by losing a child and having a giant stupid secret, nearly killed a patient by giving her the wrong medicine. Without having George Bailey there to stop her and without the giant skull reading "poison" on the bottle, Elizabeth didn't *almost* give Siobhan the wrong meds; she gave her the wrong meds and nearly killed her. I know this will sound harsh, but if Siobhan had died, I wouldn't have cared. I've never really connected to her character at all.


Will Liz lose her license? Will Siobhan find out what happened and think her husband's ex purposely try to kill her? Oh wait, I almost threw in a funny question and realize I need to say it for the closing! I'm just happy that we got a little medical drama tossed in to give us hope for the future.


Lulu really brightened up the whorehouse, didn't she? Something tells me she's going to get herself into a whole boatload of trouble before Luke comes back. I don't even think Dante will be able to save her; Javier will probably boot him out of the joint since he won't do Lupe. I predict that Luke seeing his baby girl about to head down the same road his sister Bobbie walked might be the one thing to jolt Luke out of his funk and send him back to Port Charles.


What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Lucky realize his house didn't burn down at all, it's just been hauled to fake Florida and turned into a brothel? Will Sonny have Max cut off Ethan's lips when he finds out he kissed Kristina? Will any of the executives at ELQ think Abby is a Strippergram when they see her wandering the halls in her business suit? Will Lucky realize the hand he wants to hold at the end belongs to Elizabeth and put Siobhan on a flight back to Dublin? Will Sonny say "Carly" the next time Brenda shrieks that he must pick sides? Will I ever stop laughing at the hilarious line about Nikolas' lack of accent? Will "Love in the Afternoon" finally be resurrected?

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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