Happy New Year, baby! The Mayans got it wrong, and we're all still here. And so are Olivia's psychic visions of Maxie's fetus being a dog. I don't think poor Olivia is barking mad, Scoopers. But I wouldn't buy that dog dish just yet for the happy couple. Just sit back and let's take a look at this dog-gone tale. I apologize at the onset for all the puns. I couldn't resist.
The good news is that we finally have some clues as to why Olivia has been psychically seeing a dog whenever Maxie is near. (Yes, smart alecks, I know it's the LSD side effects, but Olivia's visions have been spot-on this year, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.) I've dissected this storyline into "kibbles and bits" and determined the potential meaning of Olivia's visions: A) the dog was present when Maxie miscarried; B) Maxie is going to be pregnant with "The Jackal's" baby; or C) both of the above. Several astute Two Scoops readers -- who I can only guess are LSD free -- have written me with choice B. They think Damian, a.k.a. "The Jackal," is going to be a daddy.
I could say that this storyline has gone to the "dogs" and that it's "ruff" trying to figure out all this symbolism. Or I could say that Maxie miscarrying and potentially getting pregnant on the same night is "far-fetched." But this is a show that brings people back from the dead on a regular basis, so, yes, not only do I think it's possible that Maxie miscarried and conceived within 24 hours, I think it's highly probable.
I'm also worried. In no universe would I ever consider Maxie and Spinelli ideal parents; they're both so child-like themselves. I can't imagine these two coparenting at this stage of their lives. Plus, my heart is breaking for Lulu and Dante, who desperately want a child of their own.
As you know, I avoid spoilers like Sonny avoids prison. So, I'm not sure how any of this is going to play out. I can only hypothesize that Spinelli impregnated Maxie while his New Year's date was lying on the ground, fighting for her life. Or maybe not. Perhaps Spinelli and Maxie's hookup was simply a coincidence that won't result in pregnancy. Perhaps Olivia's premonition has nothing to do with "The Jackal" at all, just the dog that was present during Maxie's miscarriage. "Collar" me confused.
I hope Maxie isn't pregnant. I hope Lulu is and that she can carry to term. (She sure was "woofing" down the ice cream.) And I hope that Ellie's accident gives Damian a new "leash on life." I think maturing him is a good move. What say you, Scoopers? Are you hoping for pink, blue, or a dog dish?
Did Spinelli sneak into the Dancing With the Stars studio and score some spray tan? I kid. He looked amazing New Year's Eve. I'm not sure if it was the haircut, the tan, or the snazzy suit with the blue tie, but Damian was delicious and sexy. He also seemed more mature. (Well, until he got drunk and danced with Milo, but I digress.) I really loved Damian's character this week (even his drunken antics). Well done, Bradford Anderson.
Speaking of Milo, can we please get this guy a storyline? He's so good-looking, it's ridiculous, and he's a sweetheart who still carries a torch for Lulu. I wouldn't mind him in a romance with Ellie or Sabrina or any of the town's eligible ladies, if he suddenly went up a few IQ points. Writers, please, give him some depth. He's already a fan favorite.
Was anyone else rolling your eyes or planting your face in your palm during the car crash scene? I know we have to suspend disbelief most of the time in daytime, but this was a little much. Michael was driving carelessly in the fog, chasing Connie, on the stretch of road where Starr already had a tragic accident. (Remind me never to get in a car with Starr Manning.) Kristina required CPR one minute and was walking and talking the next. Johnny, gagged and bound in the trunk, without a seatbelt, seemed fine.
Absolutely no cars came along. Then, instead of not moving an unconscious Trey, Johnny jerked Trey's head and smacked his jaw like a cartoon character. Finally, Michael called Dante, instead of 9-1-1. Oy vey! It's a good thing I was so riveted by Johnny's confession to Starr, his fight with Connie, and Ellie's eerie stillness. It made me forget all the other silliness. Almost.
I hope they don't kill Trey. He was already moving to California, so I'm not sure I see a need to put him in a coma or six feet under. No one in town needs body parts that I know of. Right?
Carly and Todd did the deed. As much as I hate Carly's constant bed-hopping, I have to admit that this is the first love interest that I think is truly suited for her. I loathed her with Jax, Tony, and Jason, tolerated her with Sonny, and was intrigued by her and Johnny. But she and Todd seem like a match made in Hell. More please.
Todd Manning, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Todd takes small moments and makes them memorable, whether it's something as simple as tangling with door beads when entering a New Year's Party, or consistently mispronouncing Connie's last name as "Foul-Connery." I loved Roger Howarth on As the World Turns as Paul Ryan, but I love him even more in this role.
Congratulations to newly betrothed Steve and Olivia. I once dubbed them the town's most boring couple, and I stand by that assessment. I've enjoyed both of their characters, just not together. Although they did score a "Best Line of the Week" this week for the proposal. I did chuckle at Steve calling Olivia a GILF. (Granny I'd Like to Fool Around With.) Steven's right. She doesn't look like a grandma. She's as gorgeous as that rock on her left hand.
I'm so sorry to see that Sscott Reeves will be departing the show. Although I'm not surprised. He's been pitched in so many directions since he came to town, yet he failed to ever get an intriguing storyline. I hate that we're losing a Webber, especially one who looks and acts like this one. I will miss his scenes with Elizabeth, and I'll miss that beautiful singing voice. (I hope he sticks around at least through the Nurses Ball. He's got the best voice in town.) I've loved Reeves's work since his days on The Young and the Restless, and I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere soon. I met him once, and I can honestly say he is a sweetheart. I wish him all the best.
The Best Dressed Award for New Year's Eve goes to Carly. She was simply stunning in that silver dress. For the men, Damian Spinelli is the winner. He's never looked better.
The truth is out that Johnny was responsible for the death of Starr's family. Can I get an "Amen?" I'm so sick of the guilt he's been carrying and what it's done to this character. However, I am worried that Johnny is going up the river, Matt Hunter-style. I hope not. Johnny Z used to be one of my favorites. It's good to know that he isn't totally morally bankrupt. He didn't let Connie fall to her death, even after all she put him through. Maybe this is the first step in Johnny's road to recovery.
Did I see a blooper during the car crash scene? It looked like Johnny slipped and tripped when he was making his way to help the others. Was this an accident, or was Brandon Barash just acting like an unstable man who had just survived a car crash? If it was the former, nice cover. If it was the latter, well done.
Anyone else want to stomp on Britt's intrusive cell phone with me? I was hoping Patrick and Sabrina would kiss on New Year's Eve, and it looked like a go, until mean-girl Britt rang up Patrick. I know Robin is alive, so don't send me email, haters. She isn't on-screen right now, and I don't know when -- or if -- she'll ever be again. So, in the meantime, I'm enjoying this Ugly Betty storyline. I understand that in no way is it realistic that former-ladies-man Patrick wouldn't be nailing flasher Britt, but I like a good fantasy romance sometimes. Plus, Sabrina is stunningly beautiful under those glasses and heavy braids. Lucy Coe, please give this gal a makeover and some confidence. That's all she needs to land sexy Dr. Drake.
Kudos to Dr. Britt. Yes, you heard me. It's not easy being the mean girl. I was cheering right along with you when that little kid puked peanut brittle all over Britt's party dress, but the truth is, we rarely have a villain in daytime that isn't a killer. We've all known these mean girls in life, and it's refreshing to see one in Port Charles who is just a bitch and not a homicidal maniac.
Hot leading men in Port Charles, take heed. The hotties we've come to know and love are exiting town in startling numbers. Jason took a header off the pier. Jax is gone. News recently broke that Steve is on his way out, and it looks like Johnny may be heading to prison. Patrick, please watch that beautiful backside of yours. At this rate, I fear for your future.
Who would have thought sweet little Emma Drake would have one of the Best Lines of the Week that made me laugh out loud. She has Britt's number. What a great little actress Brooklyn Rae Silzer is.
I know it was short week, due to the holiday, but the best things come in small packages. Every day as the credits rolled, I couldn't wait for the next viewing. It seemed like it took days for anyone to help poor Ellie, and Spinelli still doesn't know she was injured. That's how you build viewers and suspense. Well done, team.
(Maxie finds drunken Spinelli, alone on the roof, and tells him Ellie was supposed to meet him.)
Spinelli: "Do you see Ellie anywhere? It's funny. I'm seeing two of most things right now, and I can't even conjure up one of her."
(Carly and Todd are about to make love, when she stops him.)
Carly: "I don't want to regret being with you. I don't want you to regret being with me."
Todd: "The only thing that I'm regretting is that we're talking."
(Steve asks Olivia to marry him and tells her why he loves her.)
Steve: "You're kind. You're sexy. The magic you can do with a socket wrench alone." (Laughter)
Olivia: "This is just about getting free auto service?"
(Later, psychic Olivia reflects on her engagement.)
Olivia: "I did not see this coming, and that's weird, because I see everything else."
Thanks to all of you who took time to write and share your theories and thoughts. Honestly, you guys have some great ones. Check them out below. As always, I love hearing your thoughts, too. So keep them coming! Here's what other fans are saying -- and remember to share your thoughts with me, and you may see them pop up in my next column. Thanks!
