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 Two Scoops: August 4, 2014 columns
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The hide-and-seek heart
For the Week of August 4, 2014
Alice needs a heart, and (who knew?!) Mickey has one. But will his unknown family give consent? Who is he related to and what ties do they have to Port Charles? So many questions to discuss in this week’s Two Scoops -- and we promise out columnist won't Skype it in.
Alice needs a new heart and Mickey Diamond has one that's up for grabs, although I would swear that Julian shot him straight through the chest…


The shot was payback for Mickey's "message" of blowing up Alexis' house, which by some miracle was empty at the time. This saddens me because I always liked Alexis' place by the lake, and now it's gone, like the Haunted Star, Brenda's cottage, Crimson headquarters, and other familiar General Hospital sets that vanished from view.


The wonderful Haley Pullos delivered a touching scene as Molly grieved for all the family memorabilia in the aftermath of the fire. A couple I know lost their house to fire a few years ago and experienced the same thing. Losing the house and all its replaceable contents to a wildfire was not as hard as losing the photographs and keepsakes, all the souvenirs of life's journey that can't be replaced.


Where will Alexis go now? Will she want to live with Julian, knowing that it's his mob ties that got her house blown up? Although, Julian does sit around shirtless in his underpants a lot, and that could easily make a girl forget that he's a criminal.


With Mickey out of the way, Julian thought he momentarily got the upper hand with "the boss," but after a brief Skype with Fluke (so glad to see Tony Geary!), Julian was warned that there was an army of Mickeys waiting to do his bidding. A few minutes later, that army enlisted a new soldier in Ava, who is still maneuvering to try to save her life with anyone she thinks can do her some good.


Ava is like the Jessica Rabbit of Port Charles, sultry and smooth and badly drawn, but you can't help but root for her to get away with things simply because you don't want her to leave. And besides, orange is not her color.


But if she did go down the river, Nina Clay might be a good cellmate for her. What crime did she commit, you ask? As far as I know, using the date rape drug on someone is still illegal even if you use it on your husband.


That was a puzzling plot point for me because from what I know about the workings of the male anatomy, it's a little bit harder to take advantage of a man when he's passed out than a woman -- so I am not sure how she thought she would get herself pregnant if Silas was out cold.


Something that has bothered me my whole life is how clueless men are to evil and deceptive women. If Silas knew he only had one drink, and some lying bimbo said, "Oh no, you drank four glasses of scotch," why would he just accept that? Why doesn't it even cross his mind that he must have been drugged?


When I was in college, there was a girl who routinely went after other girls' boyfriends, just to prove she could take them away. The girls all knew she was a snake, but the guys always fell for it. She would sidle up to them seductively, and the guys would dump their lovely and loyal girlfriends for her. As soon as she had the guy and had the chance to crush the other girl's soul by bragging about how she had stolen her man, she'd move on to her next conquest. At which point the guys would invariably come crawling back to their former girlfriends, begging forgiveness.


I assume the same will happen in Port Charles. Silas will eat up Nina's lies with a spoon, believing her to be his wheelchair-bound, angelic, coma-surviving, victimized wife. But the day he finds out that she is a conniving, walking, lying, date-rape-drugging schemer, he will go back to Sam and beg for forgiveness. However, Patrick might have Sam's heart by then, since we already know Patrick thinks Sam is a badass, and they are about to launch into a Scooby Doo-style mystery mission together that will surely lead to at least a kiss.


Patrick has a thing for petite feisty brunettes, and Sam certainly fits the model. Robin is gone (thankfully) and Sabrina is in Puerto Rico, grieving the loss of her son. I wonder if Sabrina knows it was a drugged-out vampire boy who caused the accident. We still don't know what Rafe was going to say to Molly, since he died before he got to confess who put him up to it.


Franco promised Spencer that he wouldn't confess Spencer's whereabouts, and Spencer confessed he wouldn't tell anyone that Franco is trying to take down Sonny. But I think we all know as soon as Spencer's game is up, he will go directly to Uncle Sonny and rat Franco out.


Britt working with a 9-year-old on a scheme to win back Nikolas is clearly insane, but -- it seems to be working. Nikolas and Britt are getting closer again as he worries and waits for news on his missing son.


This plan will succeed right up until he finds out that Britt was in on it, at which point he will dump her again. I like Nik and Britt together, and I wish the writing for this love story were deeper and more soulful. I'd love to see Nik and Britt talk about the unstable set of people that raised them and confess the absurd things they have done in the name of love. I'd love to see this unfold as a tale of genuine forgiveness instead of devolving into a story of cheap manipulation.


Many stories on the current GH canvas have cheap entertainment value and amuse me for an hour -- but very few stories this summer have pulled at my heartstrings. I want to be moved. I want to feel something when I watch, and I am just not finding anything I can emotionally hold on to in the current plots. Soaps can be fun and playful, but they also have the capacity to take your breath away. I'm missing that right now.


But I digress…let's get back to Alice and her heart. Morgan made Alice's ailing heart happy by bringing American wrestling champion David Otunga to see her, and even happier to hear he was a fan of the Dominator. (Confession, dear readers, I had no idea at all who that dude was and had to Google it.)


Alice is still in need of a new heart, and with a bit of creative bullying and pushiness, Tracy determined Mickey is a blood type match, but he isn't an organ donor. I can't decide if that plot point is meant to be a PSA about becoming an organ donor or if it's a way to introduce some of Mickey's family members. Is he related to anyone we know? I suppose time will tell.


Time will also reveal that Levi is a scoundrel. At least in the film Green Card, Gerard Depardieu was a catch and Andie MacDowell knew up-front he just wanted a green card. Maxie doesn't know about Levi's trickery in calling Immigration on himself or ruining her court case to get her daughter back. She thinks he's a swell guy. Maxie asked Lulu to stand up for her at her wedding, and Lulu initially declined, but after an impassioned speech about how much Levi meant to Maxie, Lulu accepted in spite of her lingering reservations.


Lulu asked Maxie to admit she had feelings for Nathan, but Maxie denied it. Readers, if I had a choice between Levi and Nathan, I would not even have to think about it for a nanosecond. I am 100% Team Nathan. And I swear it's not just because he's so unbelievably, achingly, handsome. Nathan is a genuine good guy. I know some girls like bad boys, but I like the heroes.


What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Carly ever stop screaming everything she says? Will Dante keep magically walking up behind everyone who says, "We should call the police!" Will Shawn beat himself up for not busting in on Jordan and Mickey when he hears her cover story about being almost raped? Will Ned buy Olivia another drink so he can get her to spend the night again? Will Ned continue to age with such amazing perfection? Will Alexis see Ned and realize what an idiot she is when it comes to picking men?


Will Ric call Molly on Skype with a bag over his head and disguised voice to comfort her about losing her photographs and memories? Will Lucy and Bobbie show up in Scott's room in bathrobes at the same time and make Scott's hair stand even more on end? Will Emma be jealous when she discovers that her former suitor, Spencer, has been shacking up with Josslyn?


Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows!


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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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