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 Recaps for The week of April 7, 2008
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Monday, April 7, 2008

Vincent encouraged a very drunk Eve to operate on Julian in hopes of Eve mangling the job and killing Julian. Vincent gave Eve what she believed to be coffee, but it turned out to be drugs. Eve told Vincent that she was still drunk and that she should not perform the operation, but Vincent assured her that he would be there to help. Esme ran into the room and said that she'd heard Eve was the leading expert on the penis and asked if Eve could reattach Julian's penis.

In Julian's room, Viki was underneath the bed stabbing Julian through the mattress. Julian was howling in pain, but it wasn't from the ongoing stabbing, because Viki was only able to stab the bed and not Julian. Viki ran out after Eve and Vincent entered the room. Eve was still fidgety from the drugs Vincent gave her. Even opened a small bucket with Julian's penis, and she was glad that it was still on ice. She informed Vincent that it would be an extremely difficult operation. Esme ran into the room and begged Eve to reattach Julian's penis.

During all the commotion, Julian had a nightmare about getting it on with Esme in the hospital, but he realized that he had no penis. He was gasping in pain, so Eve had to scream for a "code blue." A nurse ran in to help. Eve tried to remember what to do, and Vincent told her about Julian's heart. Eve immediately remembered that she had to use the defibrillator. She told the nurse the power that was needed. Viki saw what was happening and decided that she did not want Julian to stay alive, so she turned off the power. Esme beat on Julian's chest and begged him to wake up. The nurse discovered that the device was unplugged, so they had to wait for the defibrillator to recharge before anything could be done. Eve managed to bring Julian back to life. Both Viki and Vincent were disappointed because they wanted Julian dead.

Julian had another nightmare. This time, he dreamt that he was getting it on with Eve, but as soon as they were about to do it, they both saw Vincent's head. Both Julian and Eve screamed. Julian then began to speak gibberish in his sleep. Eve pointed out to Vincent that she could not operate on Julian because she was still drunk. Vincent convinced her otherwise. Julian was prepped for surgery. Esme implored Eve to make sure that she did a good job on Julian.

At the Crane mansion, Pilar tried to tell Ethan the truth about Little Ethan, but Gwen was able to interrupt them by telling Ethan that Little Ethan needed him. Pilar insisted that she was going to tell Ethan the truth, but Gwen threatened her. Pilar defied Gwen because she thought that Ethan deserved to know the truth. Gwen reminded her that she would call Juanita, and Juanita would kill Pilar and her entire family. Pilar pointed out that Sam Bennett would protect her, but Gwen mentioned to Pilar that Juanita had her own private army. Ethan returned to the room and asked if everything was okay, and Gwen told him that everything was going fine.

Downstairs in the Crane mansion, Gertrude (Theresa) worried that Ivy and Rebecca saw through her disguise, but it turned out that her references did not check out. Ivy pointed out to Gertrude that she was trying to get close to a rich family and worm her way into their lives. Gertrude tried to sell herself to Ivy and Rebecca by telling them that she had worked as a nanny before but never kept a resume. Ivy was about to turn Gertrude down, but Rebecca pulled her to the side, and told Ivy that Gertrude was hideous and that she was perfect for the job. Ivy said that Gertrude could be a psycho, and Rebecca reminded Ivy that Theresa was a psycho, so the kids were used to it. Rebecca managed to convince Ivy to hire Gertrude.

Gwen, Ethan, and Little Ethan went downstairs to get some snacks, and they stopped off in the living room. Gwen inquired about Gertrude, and Ivy told her that she was the new nanny. Ivy introduced Gertrude to Ethan, and after he shook Gertrude's hand, he asked her if they knew each other. Ethan's mind suddenly flashed on Theresa, but Gertrude informed Ethan that she did not know him. Pilar brought in Jane because she was fussy, so Gwen took her. Gertrude offered to hold Jane, but Gwen hesitated before handing Jane over to Gertrude. After Gertrude held Jane, Jane seemed pretty comfortable. Gwen was shocked since Jane never settled down after being held by strangers. Ethan pointed out that the only other person that could get Jane to settle down was Theresa. Pilar took Jane, and Little Ethan walked into the room. He asked Gertrude if he had seen her before, and Gertrude told him "no." Little Ethan insisted that he knew Gertrude. Then Little Ethan suddenly screamed out "Mom!"

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Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Little Ethan yelled out "Mom," and Ethan wanted to know why Little Ethan called Gertrude "Mom." Gertrude (Theresa) interrupted and went over to Little Ethan and managed to convince him to play along. Ethan asked everyone if they were okay with Gertrude being a nanny, and everyone was in agreement that she was a good choice. Little Ethan went off to the side with Gertrude and asked her if she was really his mom, and Gertrude confirmed it. Little Ethan asked her if she had come to his room the night before to sing to him, and again she confirmed it. She told Little Ethan that she would go into more detail some other time and that he had to keep it a secret.

Ethan set the ground rules for Gertrude. He pointed out that since their mom passed away, the children needed extra care. Ethan seemed saddened over the loss of Theresa, so Gertrude rested her hand on his knee and said that she was sorry. Ethan's mind suddenly flashed on Theresa. Gertrude quickly removed her hand and apologized. Ethan told her that everything was fine. Gertrude then asked Ethan to tell her about Theresa, and Ethan was more than happy to oblige.

Out in the hall, Rebecca remarked to Gwen that since they hired a nanny, she could spend all the time in the world with Ethan. Gwen was worried that Gertrude would give the kids nightmares because she had such a hideous look. Rebecca assured her that the kids would be fine. Rebecca received a phone call and she was notified that Julian's penis was being reattached because it was severed. Gwen was shocked out of her mind at the news.

At the hospital, a nurse walked in and asked Eve if she was up to doing the surgery. Vincent mentioned to her that Eve was perfectly fine to perform the operation. The nurse told Vincent that Eve looked like someone on drugs. Eve staggered around the room and asked Vincent to remind her why she was in the operating room. Vincent told her that she was operating on Julian. Vincent reached in the bucket for Julian's penis, and the nurse remarked at the size of it. Vincent, who wanted to sabotage the operation, suggested that Eve downsize Julian's penis. The nurse objected because they would be messing with nature. Vincent insisted, and he thought to himself that when Julian regained consciousness he would be shocked that his "summer sausage" had been reduced to a "Vienna sausage." Vincent asked Eve if she wanted a cleaver or a saw. Eve said that she wanted a cleaver. The nurse turned away because it was too much for her to see. Eve raised the cleaver and slammed down on Julian's pride and joy. After Julian's little friend was cut apart, Eve remarked that she would always have her memories.

Eve prepared to reattach Julian's penis. Vincent wanted to sabotage the procedure, so he held Julian's penis upside down and asked Eve to operate. The nurse came over and told Eve that the penis was upside down. Vincent insisted that it was in the right position, but the nurse held her ground. Even Eve, who was drunk, noticed that it was upside down. Vincent told the nurse to shut up, and then he told himself that this would get Julian into "Ripley's Believe It Or Not." Eve completed the operation, and Vincent told her that she did an excellent job. Eve said that it didn't look right at all, and the nurse insisted that Julian's penis was upside down. Vincent got in the nurse's face and told her to go make herself useful before he reported her for insubordination. Eve said that she was completely finished, and the nurse muttered to herself that Igor did a better job stitching Frankenstein together. Eve kept saying that something was not right, and the nurse repeated that Julian's penis was upside down. Vincent grabbed the nurse once again and told her to shut up and then threw her out of the operating room.

Rebecca went to Julian's room to comfort him. She mentioned to Julian that she could bring Little Julian back from the brink. Rebecca reminisced how attached she was to Little Julian and that she would stand by him through thick and thin. Rebecca decided to take a peek. She used her little flashlight, and she remarked that something was not right. Rebecca noticed that Julian's penis was smaller and that it was upside down. Rebecca then fainted.

Sam delivered bad news to Fancy, Luis, and Pretty. He mentioned to them that Julian's penis was severed during an attack and that Eve was reattaching his penis. Pretty pointed out that Eve was barred from the hospital for being drunk. She did not understand why Eve was operating on Julian. Sam hoped that Julian would remember his attacker when he got out of surgery. Luis left and reminded Pretty and Fancy that this was about Julian and not about them. Fancy asked Pretty to tell her the real reason why she was there. Fancy reminded Pretty that Luis was hers and told Pretty to back off. Pretty lied to Fancy and said that she was giving up on Luis.

Pretty paid off a nurse and asked her to do exactly as she told her to do. Pretty told herself not to mess it up because her future depended on it. Fancy saw Pretty and called out to her. Pretty then collapsed and fell to the floor.

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Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Noah went to the police station to talk to Sam and found out that Julian's penis had been severed during an attack by the serial killer. Noah asked if the reattachment was successful, but Sam said it was too early to tell. Noah said Julian's ordeal made his own problems seem trivial. Sam asked what was wrong, and Noah told Sam that Paloma's ex-boyfriend, Roberto, was back in town and renting a room next to Paloma at Tabitha's house. Noah said he trusted Paloma, but he didn't trust Roberto. Noah complained that Roberto had been parading around Tabitha's house wearing a towel. Sam wondered if Noah felt threatened by Roberto. Noah said he wasn't threatened by Roberto. Sam asked if Roberto was really "struttin' his stuff" or if he was just coming out of the shower when Noah and Paloma walked in. Noah said his instincts told him Roberto planned it, but he couldn't prove it. Noah explained that Paloma said she and Roberto were just friends. Noah added that Roberto had proposed to Paloma in Harmony back when the two were dating, and Noah suspected that Roberto's return meant that he wanted more than just a friendship with Paloma. Sam advised Noah to play it cool and not anger Paloma by giving Roberto a hard time. Sam also encouraged Noah to spend a lot of time at Tabitha's house.

Back at Tabitha's house, Roberto fantasized about walking into Paloma's room, pulling her into a passionate kiss and then making love to her. He stopped daydreaming and knocked on Paloma's door. When she answered, Roberto told Paloma he understood that she was with Noah, but that she still meant a lot to him. Paloma said she hated hurting Roberto, and Roberto acknowledged that he was hurt by her rejection, but added that would rather have Paloma in his life as a friend than not at all. Paloma told Roberto that Noah was wonderful and she was sure that once Roberto got to know Noah, they would become friends. Roberto thought to himself that if that's what it took him to win Paloma back, that's what he would do.

After Roberto left the room, Paloma stood on a chair, trying to fix the curtains in her room, when she lost her balance. Roberto walked in and caught Paloma before she fell. Noah walked in while Roberto was holding Paloma in his arms. Paloma told Noah she was going to the kitchen to get a bedtime snack. While she was gone, Noah asked Roberto what he planned for the night. Roberto said he planned to go to a club on the wharf. Noah warned Roberto that most of the clubs in that area were dives. Roberto asked him if the Nightcrawlers club was a hangout for the drug crowd. Noah said he didn't think it was known for that. Paloma came back into the bedroom to find Noah in the bed. While Paloma and Noah were making love, Roberto called Paloma from the police station, saying he was arrested while he was at a club on the wharf. Paloma left to bail Roberto out, leaving a frustrated Noah behind.

At the hospital, Luis carried an unconscious Pretty into an empty room and placed her on a hospital bed. He and Fancy left the room so the nurse could check her vitals. Sheridan approached them, inquiring about Julian's condition. Pretty woke up from her pretend unconscious state after the nurse told her the coast was clear. Pretty asked the nurse if she knew what to do next. Outside the hospital room, Sheridan asked whether Eve was able to reattach Julian's penis. Fancy told her the re-attachment was complete. In walked the nurse Pretty was talking to, and Luis and Fancy asked her about Pretty's condition. The nurse tried to cover and said she was conscious but that she needed to find a doctor to examine Pretty. Luis went in to find Pretty crying. Sheridan and Fancy, talking in the corner, worried that Pretty really seemed scared. Fancy and Sheridan said they felt guilty for being so mean to Pretty before.

Rebecca looked at Julian's penis and noticed that it was smaller and upside down, then she passed out on Julian's body. Eve walked in and woke Rebecca up. Rebecca remembered why she fainted and then slapped Eve for what she did to Julian. Rebecca yelled at Eve for botching Julian's reattachment surgery. Rebecca told a sober Eve to look at Julian's penis to see what she meant. Eve looked at Julian's penis with shock. Rebecca told Eve that she took off too much of Julian's penis during the surgery and sowed it back on upside down. Eve was horrified. She wondered if Rebecca could be right. Rebecca said she wasn't a doctor but she was an expert at the male genitalia. Eve apologized after receiving a page and then excused herself from the room. Rebecca called for Eve to come back and fix the botched surgery before it fused together.

Eve went to check on Pretty and ran into Luis, Fancy, and Sheridan, who questioned whether Eve was back on staff. Eve explained that the hospital called her to reattach Julian's penis and then asked her to stay on because the ER was short-staffed. Luis questioned whether Eve was sure she should be working because she looked tired. Fancy asked Eve how Julian's surgery went. Eve said it was too soon to say whether the surgery was successful, because there was always a chance that Julian's body could reject the organ. Luis wondered when Julian would be able to be questioned about who attacked him, and Eve said it wasn't the right time, because Julian was still unconscious. After Eve examined Pretty, she told the nurse-the one that Pretty had paid off-to rush Pretty's blood samples to the lab. Eve told Luis that Pretty was asking for him, leaving Sheridan and Fancy to wonder whether Luis should be alone with Pretty. Fancy said she believed Pretty up to a point when Pretty said she was giving up on Luis. Sheridan said she wasn't convinced that Pretty was being honest about her intentions towards Luis. Pretty apologized to Luis for saying mean things about Fancy and for comparing her to Alistair. Luis told Pretty she didn't need to apologize. Fancy told Sheridan that since Pretty had backed off of pursuing Luis, Sheridan should do the same. The nurse returned with the lab results she doctored and handed them to Eve.

At the Crane mansion, Little Ethan asked Theresa (Gertrude) why she came back disguised as a nanny. Theresa said she would explain that to him later but no one-including Ethan-could know that she was alive. She also said Little Ethan couldn't tell Ethan that Ethan was his father. Theresa told Little Ethan that this was the only way she could be close to him and his sister, Jane. Gwen and Ethan decided that hiring Getrude was the best decision they had made regarding the children. They walked into their room and saw Getrude hugging Little Ethan. Ethan told Gwen that there was something familiar about Getrude and that he felt like he'd known her forever. Little Ethan showed Gwen and Ethan some magic tricks that Getrude showed him. Theresa thought to herself that Gwen had better enjoy her time with Ethan because Gwen wouldn't have Ethan for long. After Little Ethan's magic trick, Gwen suggested that he go to bed. Little Ethan said he wasn't sleepy yet, but Gertude convinced him to go to bed anyway.

Gwen called Rebecca to update her mother on her progress with Ethan. Rebecca told Gwen that Julian's surgery had "complications." She described his penis as "a toothpick and a topsy-turvy one to boot." Rebecca said when Julian found out what Eve did to him, he would scream. On the bright side, Rebecca said, Julian would need her help to keep his reputation intact, so it was the perfect opportunity to take advantage of him financially. Rebecca urged Gwen to seduce Ethan and make him beg for mercy. Gwen bragged that by the time she was done with Ethan, he would forget all about Theresa. After hanging up with Rebecca, Gwen picked out some lingerie for her anticipated night with Ethan while Gertrude lurked outside the door.

Gertrude knocked on the bedroom door to look for Ethan's magic bag while Gwen went to the kitchen to get herself and Ethan a snack. Gertrude found some itching powder and poured it on the bed. Gwen wheeled some food into the bedroom and then went into the bathroom to change while Gertude poured a spicy powder on Gwen's food. Ethan returned when Gertrude was leaving the bedroom. He gave Getrude permission to leave to get the rest of her things since the children were sleeping. Ethan walked in and found Gwen in her lingerie. She suggested they eat and then make love.

Gwen and Ethan began feeding each other and then both their mouths were on fire from the powder Gertrude put in the food. They guzzled some water. Ethan refused to eat any more food, so Gwen moved on to the next part of her seduction plan. Before they could make love, they both felt the effects of the itching powder. Theresa stood outside listening the whole time, pleased that she was successful in ruining Gwen's romantic plans. Gwen and Ethan headed towards the shower when in burst Little Ethan complaining that Jane was crying. Ethan remembered he gave Gertrude time off to get the rest of her things and decided he would take care of Jane while Gwen went to take a shower. He walked towards the bed to get his robe, then slipped on the food that was knocked on the floor during their itching attack and fell on the bed.

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

There was no Thursday episode. The show aired Monday through Wednesday, with catch-me-up marathons on Thursdays from 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.

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Friday, April 11, 2008

There was no Friday episode. The show aired Monday through Wednesday, with catch-me-up marathons on Thursdays from 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m.

May 5 to 9, 2014

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