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 Two Scoops: July 19, 2004 columns
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Michelle Stafford
Stop the madness!
by Nita
For the Week of July 19, 2004
The twisted tale of Cameron Kirsten has dragged on for far too long.
Okay fans, I am so ready for the end to arrive in the twisted tale of Cameron Kirsten. How long has it been dragging on? Seems like years! There can't be a single fan left in the whole world who even half-believes there's a snowball's chance in the hot place Sharon might pay for this uncommitted crime. At this point I don't care how they wrap it up; I just wish it was done.

A wish that was not granted during the week. Instead, Sharon, after one short night in a solitary cell (she was spared being needled all night by the usual trio of hard-looking babes with bad dye jobs) crooned all the verses of her unbelievable tune directly into Weber's skeptical ears. Weber even did as the Newmans suggested, paid a brief visit to the Cameron devil himself, who, of course, was too smart to incriminate himself. And although they assured Weber she'd be happy to, Grace wasn't available to back up Sharon's far-fetched fable. Finally having seen the blindingly bright light and realizing Cameron was indeed every bad thing the Newmans had insisted he was, Grace, presumably fearing for her life, jumped out of Cam's satin-lined hotel box, and promptly departed for parts unknown. Some wonder whether Cameron (or his violent hireling) might have had something to do with her disappearance, but I'm guessing the self preservationist has just temporarily gone underground. Besides, having Grace around to substantiate Sharon's saga would have put an end to this madness quick, fast and in a great hurry and we know that's not about to happen. On the contrary, I'm sure this never ending story is about to be dragged out even longer. So what kind of trap might be set to capture Cameron? Since no one is around to save Sharon's bacon, I'm guessing she will reach in and daintily pull it out of the flickering flames herself. How might she get Cameron to incriminate himself? Well, the hidden microphone connected to hiding cops has already been used so surely the scribes won't repeat themselves so soon. That leaves Sharon and her irresistible bodily charms as the obvious bait for Cameron's trap. Once Sharon has managed to dot all the i's and cross all the t's, then Grace will probably mosey on back to town to give final confirmation.

Well, that was easy and quite anticlimactic, wasn't it? The way Cassie took the news of her bio daddy's life and death. Makes one wonder what the big hoopla was all about back when he breezed into town. Sharon nibbled her nails down to nubs in worry for naught. Cassie is quite content with her rich adopted daddy and could care less about the one time frolic in her Mom's distant past that resulted in her coming to be. Not that you could blame Cassie; the "creepy guy" as she calls him, meant nothing to her, although she was a lot more curious about him then than she is now that she knows who he was to her.

Now when it comes to that ruby earring, Cassie's curiosity can scarcely be contained. And I confess, neither can mine. I'm enjoying the unfolding of this mystery. And it's moving right along too. Already we have a complete skeleton of some tiny tot found buried on the grounds of the Rec Center; the unfortunate recipient of those ruby earrings apparently, since J.T. found one of them in her unmarked grave. And we now know Nikki's father, Nick, used to work at the old paint store which is now the new Rec Center. Although it was long before my viewing time, some fans are also aware Nikki's dad apparently had some inappropriate inclinations, so to speak, which makes him the early suspect in what looks to be a murder at worst, an accidental killing at best. A killing, judging from her recent shadowy recollections, Nikki might have inadvertently witnessed then immediately buried deep within her consciousness. But obviously, the memory is no longer going to remain that way. Who was the little girl? And how does she tie in with Nikki or any of the other residents in the City? I can't wait to find out.

Swish, swish, swish. That's the sibilant sound of Daniel slowly winding Phyllis around his baby finger. Although Phyllis doesn't yet want to open her eyes to that possibility, Damon's vision is a lot clearer and already he senses the competition has begun for Phyllis' exclusive attention. As for Daniel, one night on an uncomfortable couch in Damon's incense-scented living room has convinced him he not only doesn't want to experience it a second time, he'd rather not get to know his new-found mother under Damon's roof at all. So what will Phyllis do? Leave her lover to be a proper mother? I have to admit, watching her drool and slobber over her sweat-slicked lover right in front of her closely watching son made me feel a bit queasy, so I don't imagine it was a much better sight for Daniel's sleep-encrusted eyes. Damon is likely right; Daniel probably is playing Phyllis a bit, testing her to see if all she's been claiming about wanting desperately to have him in her life is true. But I can also see Daniel's side. And in my opinion, it would be a nice change to see Phyllis actually support herself. She wasted no time moving into John Abbott's home, and practically went from there to Damon's digs, the brief period in between spent in a hotel suite I'm sure Jack was paying for. I know the woman spends a fortune on revealing clothes, but with someone else taking care of the costliest of life's necessities, she has to have quite a tidy sum growing by leaps and bounds in the Genoa City Bank & Trust. If she does opt for full-time motherhood, how long before she tires of it? And does Daniel have ulterior motives? Does he really want a mother in his life or is his eventual goal to exact revenge against all the concerned adults he may feel cheated him out of a real childhood? It should be interesting to watch. Phyllis as a still great looking but aging femme fatale has been done to death, insane sounding girlish giggling aside, I definitely wouldn't mind seeing her exercise her acting chops with Daniel in a mother, son direction.

Speaking of direction, which one will Kevin turn in next? His new best buddy, Daniel, with no real knowledge of his distant or recent past, has convinced him therapy wouldn't resolve any of the issues he might still have. Lauren apparently opted not to take the risk and decided against hiring Kevin to fold fluffy pieces of girl wear in her shop. And now J.T. and the teens who have taken over the Rec Center have ensured Kevin will never receive a royal welcome there. So what is the something "big" Daniel and Kevin will come up with to whiten Daniel's soot-blackened character? I'm drawing nothing but blanks when I reach in my idea bin. What about you fans? Is there anything Kevin can do to redeem himself in yours or Lily's eyes?

While Kevin might be on everyone's Do Not Invite list, without even knowing it, Devon has won over one of his most vocal detractors. Unseen by all but us fans, Neil watched approvingly as Devon immediately leapt to his daughter's defense against an unthreatening Kevin, so I imagine Dru's battle to make a big difference in Devon's life just got easier. So will Devon soon be a foster part of the Winters' clan with Neil's exuberant approval? And if he does, will Lily prove she has learned from her hasty mistake with Kevin and be able to restrain her girlish appetite?

Gee, who quit and put Brad in charge? Oh that's right. Jack did. Seriously, though, did Brad go to bed a Carlton and wake up an Abbott? What a rude, arrogant, insufferable oaf he was to Jack. Is it Jack's fault Brad's brainless bride was so enamored of Newman she had to have his seed inside her? Or that she couldn't rest until Victor knew it too? Because Ashley's unappeased hunger for anything Victor is the real reason for Brad's uncontrollable rage. It has nothing to do with Jabot's financial floundering or the now endangered Men's Line. I'm sure I'm not the only fan who remembers Brad inherited multi-millions from Cassandra Rawlins husband's extensive estate. Unless he's frittered in all away in bad investments and frivolous pursuits, he could probably have used some of it to rescue Jabot. But regardless of who's in charge, for the moment Brad is the puppet master pulling some of the strings and he's apparently decided Jill's Men's Line might be one of the less profitable puppets yanked off the Jabot stage. Which would obviously pave the way for Jill to devote her working hours to cleaning off the accumulated dust from Chancellor Industries and whatever it does and updating it for any future generations of Chancellors. With Jack to help her. Something many suspected would happen the moment it was clear Jack would be ousted from Jabot and right about the time Katherine opened the doors of Chancellor to Jill.

I never cease to marvel at the all purpose Athletic Club. Just like at Gina's it apparently has a special section in the kitchen roped off specifically for children of all ages where they can assist the busy chefs in the creation of wonderful ice cream concoctions. All I can say to that is Genoa City restaurant kitchens apparently bear no resemblance whatsoever to those I've glimpsed in my dining experiences. But in the future the Carlton's might want to make sure Abby eats all her ice cream at the table under their watchful eyes. Because Gina used to entice poor little Nate Hastings into the kitchen with an offer of ice cream and now he's vanished into thin air. And another thing, how utterly wonderful it must be for the well-dressed business and pleasure diners to be able to inhale the incomparable fragrance of a well-worked out male or female body brushing by their table, along with the aromas of whatever delicacy has just been delivered there. Ugh! Note to Jack and Jill and any other Athletic Club member fresh from your vigorous workout, stop by the showers before you plop your sweaty backsides at the bar for your healthy Juice cocktail.

For the Carlton duo of dysfunction, marital relations continue to be strained. For much to adopted Daddy number one's dismay, bright and bouncy Abby shows no signs of anxiety about getting to know bio daddy number two. And even though he should know by now he has no real control in the upcoming doctor-approved get acquainted sessions; he plans to be there for every one, presumably to glare balefully and menacingly in Victor's direction. Although I am no psychic, it's a certainty Victor will not graciously accept the Carltons as visit police and the coming conflict may well ring the bell of doom on this constantly ailing marriage. The only surprise, given how long the chaos that is Victor has been a big bone of contention between them, is that it managed to limp along this long.

As has been rumored and confirmed, Raul announced his imminent departure from Sin, I mean Genoa City. His Pemberton scholarship somehow magically restored, Brittany's rejected suitor will soon be off to sow his wild oats in more receptive pastures. But not before he witnesses for himself the presumed restoration of the perfection of his ex-love's face. What he definitely doesn't want to be around for is the engagement party that may be in Brittany's future. Yes, the aging cabaret owner who attended the same school of the open shirt as our favorite stern-faced detective, has got the ring and is about to pop the question to the kid half his age. I'm guessing the star-struck singer-to-be will be quick to answer yes, but that doesn't mean Fred or Anita should dial up the minister or bother reserving the biggest room they have at the Country Club just yet. Because once Brittany learns Marilyn's will only be courting the high class crowd four days a week; necessity demanding the remaining days be reserved for the girls who shake their stuff and bring in the real money, she might find those stars in her eyes growing a little dim.

Not that anyone need cry over the possibility of Brittany spending a lonely night or two minus both Raul and Bobby. With CC gone, Raul soon to follow and Mac uninterested, J.T. is a loose end with nothing to do and no one to do it with. And there have been enough hints dropped lately to make more than one fan wonder whether J.T. might not be averse to picking up the pieces should Brittany's somewhat fickle heart get broken. As a couple, I can see the possibilities between the princess and the mostly reformed bad boy, even a bit of blossoming chemistry, something I don't see with Bobby, although many fans would vehemently disagree with me.

The recent week did not find Mac in a more forgiving mood toward Daniel. If anything, her resolve to keep her underage suitor at arm's length has hardened. In fact after sleeping on it a few nights it appears she may be completely reneging on her offer of friendship in lieu of romance and in a most insulting tone has advised Daniel there's no way she's getting all hung up on some 16 year old boy. Especially one who doesn't know how to tell the truth. Of course her anger only proves she's already hung up. I still say it's only a matter of time. I'm just not saying how much time. Look how long it took Billy to win back her love and trust. Hang in there, Daniel, you'll be 18 before we know it.

Not that age automatically makes one wise. Case in point: dear gullible John Abbott. Perhaps someone should have scribbled him a sign. Something like: "Watch out - Greedy Gold digger ahead." Gloria? A breath of fresh air? Oh John, you really must get out more often. Or, maybe turn off the air conditioner occasionally and open the windows so you might know what fresh air really smells like. Okay, I'm just having a little harmless fun at Gloria's expense. This particular pairing really came as no great surprise. After all, it's not as if Genoa City has an abundance of rich, elderly gentlemen just waiting to be fleeced by Miss Fisher. It will be interesting to see how long John can be kept in the dark about Gloria's relatives and whether he will still be gratefully breathing in her Jabot fragrance once he discovers it was her son who torched his former housemate's business and attempted to cook his Colleen. But for now, watching her work her wiles is hysterical. I'm looking forward to Gina's reaction when she realizes a mysterious stranger has sashayed into the city and effortlessly managed to snare the man Gina's been tossing her fishhook at for years.

Again this week, I enjoyed our favorite show and the antics of our beloved soap friends, in spite of the Cameron caper. For the coming week, I expect more of the entertaining same. See you all there.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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