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 Two Scoops: August 16, 2004 columns
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Joshua Morrow
The blame game
by Nita
For the Week of August 16, 2004
A story once scribe-described as enormously 'explosive' finally fizzled fitfully to an anticlimactic close.
First, for all those who have inquired, my first granddaughter has arrived safely. Six weeks early, but both mother and baby are fine. Thanks for asking and for your patience in waiting for me to share my delayed humble opinions. And now, off we amble into the land of make-believe and far-fetched fantasy.

At the top of the list in the Far-fetched category was the Cockeyed Case of the Capture of Cameron Kirsten. I don't know about all of you, but that certainly gave me plenty to giggle uncontrollably or snort derisively about. Seven months, 13 days and some odd hours from the moment Cameron was presumed dead and left to rot behind a malodorous dumpster, a story once scribe-described as enormously "explosive" finally fizzled fitfully to an anticlimactic close. And I am one fan who was deliriously delighted to see it lumber laboriously across the finish line.

Having had some idea of what was likely to come, I had taken the time to suspend my disbelief from the highest tree limb I could find, but as the final few acts in what has been a mostly preposterous plot played out, I confess I still had a hard time believing what my eyes and ears were seeing and hearing. Nick's ability to clamber aboard Cameron's jet unseen was the first thing that made me point my derisive digit. And that pitiful looking pummeling he dealt to Cameron didn't do much to nudge the needle on my believability meter either. But when he hauled out those three parachutes, I couldn't help myself; I began hurling popcorn at the screen in protest. Like anyone would believe it was possible to leap from a speeding jet.

And I'm surprised all Cameron wound up with was a broken leg, given the fact that he was practically unconscious when shoved from the plane, yet was able to pull his parachute string three seconds later. Guess the night air whistling past his groggy head must have revived him. And last but not least, not one but two phone booths in the middle of some Iowa farmlands?! Oh well, it's all behind us now. And like so many of the other Genoa City bad boys and girls who have gone before him, Cameron has been shackled and hauled away. Where exactly he has gone and how he will be punished, well, I'd advise you not to hold your breath, waiting to find out.

Anyway, as the Newmans so often do once they've weathered a particularly vicious storm, they slipped on their smiley faces, took off most of their clothes and told Miguel to fire up the old gas grill. Because it's time for another of those famous Newman pool parties. Where all those who played a big or little part in making everything all right in the little Newman world could receive warm, grateful pats on the back along with their burgers and chips. Grace, for adding her two cents to the pot containing Cameron's tape-recorded confession, was welcomed back into the Newman family friend fold, having at last made up for sleeping repeatedly with her once best friend's husband. And Michael, having once been detested so thoroughly not one Newman would have paused to toss a cup of water in his direction had they spotted him engulfed entirely in flesh-roasting flames, is now treated practically as one of the family.

Since Victor forced himself to keep to the shadows so Nick could have his shining hero moment in the blazing sun, father and son are back on good terms. And the once battling Newman blondes seem to have agreed to keep the antagonistic hatchet buried as well. So, at last, the often-muddled lives of Nick and Sharon Newman, for the moment, seem problem free. Nothing for the cooing couple to do now but have sex, sex, and, of course, more sex. At least until the next crisis rears its problematic head. Something I'm positive won't be too long in coming.

When it came to playing the game of blame, there was no lack of pouting participants. Brad blamed Ashley. Ashley blamed Brad. Victor blamed Brad, and Brad blamed Victor. Nikki, due to her confusion over those vexing half-visions she keeps having, didn't quite know who to blame. But, Brad, much like one would dutifully dole out squares of sugar to a well-performing pony, was more than willing to help clear up her confusion, and continually fed her already surging insecurities until she blamed both Ashley and Victor. And once Brad had succeeded in placing a wedge in the Newman marriage at least identical in size to the one in his own, after growing weary of reciting his concerns before an uncaring Ashley, took off for parts unknown, towing adorable Abby behind him. What did that do to his bimbo bride? Why it threw her into an immediate tizzy, which is eventually likely to land her in Victor's rock-hard consoling arms. As for me, if I never hear anyone utter the words bio daddy or bio daughter again, it would be just fine with me.

Dishonest, sneaky, manipulative. How interesting that the very qualities Damon claims to so detest in Daniel, are also an integral part of his fiery Phyllis. But perhaps, in her case, Damon finds them lovable and endearing. Oh, that's right. He hasn't yet met that side of his lover. They say blood is thicker than water (even though that doesn't always hold true in Genoa City), but I would think Damon's self-admitted dislike of Daniel wouldn't bode very well for any hope of a lasting liaison with Phyllis. But probably more accustomed to being the one pulling the romantic plug before his amour can yank it first, it's doubtful Damon will fade quietly into the background of Phyllis' life. I'm guessing Daniel hasn't seen the last of "Mr. Personality."

Poor Michael. Talk about having your heavy burdens to lug around. Keeping a brother like Kevin from causing undue stress to others would be more than enough to keep his manicured hands busy. But adding his classless mother to the mix makes his an impossible task. Of course, if gold-digging Gloria strikes pay dirt in John Gullible Abbott, and transfers her trashy baggage to his place, that's one less worry for our man Mike. At least until Kevin discovers the romantic road Michael is exploring with Lauren. Like damp wood, it took awhile for these two to smolder, but I'm beginning to see a wisp or two of smoke in the air, and where there's smoke, well, you know the rest. I'm one of many, many fans, who have hoped fervently for a romance for Michael, and this one works for me. Obviously, it won't work for either Kevin or Paul, but that's their problem. As I've stated before, Paul is hardly battering down Lauren's door in hot pursuit, and as for Kevin, well, the kid has a whole lot of growing up to do.

Of course, with Daniel as his scheming sidekick, mentally maturing is probably not in Kevin's immediate future. This grand plan Daniel keeps promising is guaranteed to somehow transform Kevin's blackened name into something clean and acceptable, making him a hero in the process, is undoubtedly bound to backfire. At least for Kevin. But I can't help but wonder whether his plan will wind up being of more benefit to Devon rather than himself. Here's my guess at a possible scenario. Even though things are going along just splendidly for temporary foster child, Devon, in spite of Dru's clearly stated desires, Neil is equally adamant Devon's temporary membership in the Winters family clan won't become permanent. That opinion will definitely change, of course, if Devon manages to save Neil's darling Lily from certain death or at least disfigurement.

A bit to my disappointment, Nikki took the fait accompli of her free room and boarders in stride with little more than a soft sigh of resignation at Victor's arrogant presumption. With Ashley once again sniffing indelicately around her husband, Phyllis and her chip on his shoulder son, are apparently the least of Nikki's growing concerns. Victor's tunnel vision is focused so intently on his, here it comes, "bio daughter," he has missed most of the red flags flapping vigorously above Nikki's head, or maybe he simply finds discovering the cause for her distress far less important than learning the reason for the abrupt tone in Ashley's nasal twang. For his selfish inattention, my fingers and toes are crossed that Bobby turns out to be the strong shoulder Nikki so sorely will need as she delves deeper into the mystery surrounding the death of little Joshua.

And finally, a sad so long to Raul. I'll miss him, but since he's only going to college, perhaps some day, like the Terminator, he'll be back.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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