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 Two Scoops: October 18, 2004 columns
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Jerry Douglas
No longer lonely
by Nita
For the Week of October 18, 2004
At least in John Abbott's case, the age old axiom implying there's no fool like an old lonely fool would appear to contain a grain or two of truth.
At least in John Abbott's case, the age old axiom implying there's no fool like an old lonely fool would appear to contain a grain or two of truth. Despite the knowledge that most who love him distrust the woman he knows naught about, but loves just the same, John has no intention of looking for cavities in the mouth of the gift horse who recently galloped into his life. And though the family company is perched precariously on the brink of bankruptcy, John still has a few pennies of his personal fortune piled together. Pennies Gloria easily convinced him would be better spent on a once in a lifetime getaway with her instead of earning interest in some dry, dusty bank vault. And John is so blinded with ... I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and call what he's feeling love instead of lust, it wouldn't surprise me a bit to see Gloria return from their travels with a brilliant solitaire or wide wedding band encircling her gold-digger's digit.

The best thing about John and Gloria's relationship (okay I confess it's the only thing I like about it) is the fact that it so enrages Ashley. Ashley is sure Gloria has secrets (another case of the scarred up pot pointing at the scratches on the skillet) and incensed that she seems unafraid of Ashley's condemning and constant scrutiny, is determined to uncover them, even if she has to hire a lawyer to help. Please say her choice won't be Michael. That would just be just too funny.

However the truth about Gloria is brought out into the light of day, it will be interesting to see how John reacts to it. Like he mentioned, he's been alone a long time so he's not likely to easily let go of what Gloria's giving, especially if she falls back on words along the lines of "but John, if I had told you the truth in the beginning, you'd never have given yourself a chance to get to know me and blah and blah." And by the time he finds out most of the truth, Gloria will probably have him wrapped so tightly around her little finger, he'll easily forgive and move on. Naturally, she'll omit the little sheet wrestle she enjoyed with her hired "son." By the way, and having nothing to do with anything else, no Miss Breath of Fresh Air didn't use her stinky saliva to smooth down her tresses. Yuck!

As word after incriminating word poured nervously from the mouth of Chancellor Industries' stereotypically portrayed nerdy accountant, showing Elliott as nothing more than a white collar, million dollar corporate crook, every wall of Jill's rickety house of high hopes and rosy hued dreams came crashing down around her. And if, upon the accountant's departure, Jill had managed to cling to one final, feeble hope that it could still prove to be nothing more than accounting incompetence, Elliott himself quickly yanked it away by freely and unremorsefully admitting he was what he was. But that didn't mean he and Jill couldn't still sail off into a sea of forgetfulness and live high on the hog with stolen Chancellor currency until it had all been frittered away. Why, if one squinted one's eye and looked at it sideways, every bit of the purloined loot was in reality just a small advance on Jill's eventual inheritance.

For one brief moment, if only to avoid seeing Jack's smirking face while he mumbled a monotonous I told you so, Jill probably considered throwing caution to the contrary wind and running away with Elliott to live forever on the lam. But in the end when the rubber wheels of Elliott's car hit the road, he was driving off alone. From his overconfident parting words, it appears Elliott is certain he won't have to pay the piper for his corporate crime, but the gleam in Jack's eyes says differently. By the way, wasn't Jack's timing incredible? Why did he show up at Katherine's at that particular time? Could it be that his recent threat to Elliott had some teeth after all and he's been keeping tabs on Elliott's doings behind Jill's back? I have the distinct feeling Smilin' Jack is going to have the last and loudest laugh and I'm willing to bet it will be at Elliott's expense. Was I able to squeeze out a tear of pity on Jill's behalf? No, I was not. The whole idea that Jill would have fallen so easily and quickly for a crook like Elliott, and suddenly be gung ho to get hitched just wasn't believable. About the only feeling I was able to drum up was one of relief that the whirlwind romance had blown itself out.

With Elliott out of the way, can Jack now be convinced to step up to the CEO plate? Although he would have us believe his temporary tiptoe onto the edges of Chancellor business soil was mostly against his will and solely because of his friendship with Jill, to my eyes, old Smilin' Jack's grin is looking a little forced these days. I know I can't be the only fan who doubts his leisurely life of Reilly is everything he pretends it to be. Obviously, he can't go back to Jabot, and in spite of her business expertise and best intentions, I don't know that Jill is quite ready to sit in the CEO seat at Chancellor. And finally, even though the Jack and Victor vendetta has been on the back burner for awhile now, I doubt any fan believes that's because it's finally over and done with. So I'm returning to my earlier hope (put aside temporarily while Jill fell in and out of infatuation) that Jack and Jill will eventually go frolicking up the Chancellor hill together. Whether or not Victor will come tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty (and yes, I know, I'm mangling my nursery rhymes) remains, of course, to be seen.

Speaking of Victor, boy did my hand ever itch to slap him sensible as I listened dumfounded to the words that came mumbling out of the hole in his face. "You know how I feel about you, how I've always felt about you. When I heard about Abby, deep down I was happy to learn you and I share a child!" Aargh! Victor might be many things to many people, but I doubt any of them consider him a fool. Did he not listen any of the million and one times Nikki has reminded him Ashley was still in love with him? Does he not know that like a starving, rib-revealing mutt Ashley is only waiting for him to toss a bone of affection her way so she can grab it up and run willy-nilly with it? What could he have been thinking to say such a thing? Was he playing her like a well-used fiddle so she'd be more amenable to molding Abby to his way of thinking, or was that payback for Bradley for refusing to fall in with his plans? As for Ashley, the blinding light that immediately lit up her foolish face at his unexpected confession forced me to don my dark glasses so I could watch the rest of the scene. You could almost see the theater in Ashley's besotted mind darken as she switched on the projector to play a fantasy sequence where she, Abby and Victor cavorted crazily through a field filled with bright sunshine, while beautiful flowers swayed in the gentle breeze. Well, while we were spared the fantasy this time, we still clearly saw and heard the wheels grinding slowly in her scheming skull.

Brad thinks he holds all the winning cards now that Abby has temporarily shied away from Victor but his unyielding stance may prove to be his downfall. He might want to cherish every moment he has as Abby's daddy, because now that Ashley has seen and heard for herself just how much Victor loves his turkey baster baby, her next move might be to put the wheels in motion to strip away Brad's adopted parental rights and bestow them upon Victor instead.

For Genoa City's pessimistic P.I., business is positively booming. What with looking for Charles Casein, along with ferreting out the truth about alleged wife murderer, Arthur, he and J.T.'s hands are full. Who might hire his services next? If Michael is out of the office should Ashley come a-calling for counsel, perhaps she will hire Paul instead. I don't know which scenario would contain funnier moments, Michael trying desperately not to incriminate his Mother, or Paul discovering clue by clue the identity of the sons of Gloria Fisher.

Of course, if Nikki continues doing her own detective work, Paul will soon have one less case with which to concern himself. Perhaps a bit disgruntled that Nikki was uncovering clues faster than he, Paul seemed more intent on dashing her hopes than listening to what she had to say. For every point of confirmation Nikki raised, Paul quickly knocked it back down. Why just because internet evidence indicated Genoa City born but mostly Cleveland bred Brad had altered his moniker, was no real reason to jump to the conclusion that his old name might have been Casein. And the fact that something tragic happened when Brad was three, coincidentally the presumed age of the baby brother, in Paul's muddled mind that was also way beside the point. But finally, perhaps realizing how idiotic he sounded with his doom and gloom denials, Paul finally acknowledged that since truth is often stranger than fiction, or something like that, Nikki just might be on the right track. And even though he had just insisted Brad's name change information was sealed so securely with Court ordered duct tape, they hadn't a hope of seeing inside, he then reversed himself by revealing there might be a way after all. As long as I have known this P.I. he has always had a contact where one was needed. And this time was no exception. Not to be confused with the one or ones who monitor credit cards, airports, bus stations, taxi stands, phone records and the like, this one happened to be a Cleveland journalist. Why in the world a journalist in Cleveland or anywhere else for that matter might be able to convince a Judge to steam open a sealed court record escapes my feeble mind. And I won't even attempt to make heads or tails of that one. It may not matter anyway. Because our Nikki has never been the most patient of souls, and except when it came to the Abby daddy secret, has rarely kept her lips fastened firmly around a secret for long. And since she's already revealed her suspicion to Victor, this situation has proven not to be the exception to her loose lips rule. It can only be a matter of time before she takes her destiny in her own hands and goes directly to the Bradley source for confirmation.

I confess it boggles my mind a bit why Nikki is stressing so strenuously over Brad's reaction in the first place. As many fans have repeatedly said, she was a child for goodness sake. Even Brad, the blamer of others for most things, can hardly hold her responsible. In recent weeks, Nikki has been heard to say she enjoys a close and caring kinship with Brad. The way it appears to my critical eyes, however, is except when they were weeping on each other's suit coat shoulders in commiseration over the ramifications of Ashley's sperm theft; they have pretty much ignored one another. But be that as it may, to hear her tell it now, Brad is almost her best friend and she fears her killing revelation may well rip apart their burgeoning bond of friendship. While I have thoroughly enjoyed this puzzler, I'm really not sure where it can go next. Although Victor would have us believe Nikki's revelation would further estrange him from Abby, the continued pursuit of whom is apparently the only reason he arises every morning, I don't see how the two tie together. Or is Brad and Nikki's shared pain over Joshua going to bring them closer together? Since I see zero chemistry between the two, I'm definitely not shaking my pom poms in anticipation of that particular outcome.

Okay, alright already with the Newman's tumbling from trauma to trauma with barely a breath in between. Where is the romance between Nikki and Victor? Enough of these chaste hugs and dry, forehead pecks. Where is the man who once gratefully appreciated his stand by her man wife who swore he'd never forget what she'd done? And when is he coming back to Genoa City? I'm weary of watching Victor to Ashley, then Ashley to Brad, then Victor to Brad, then Ashley to Victor, then Nikki to Victor trek back and forth across town, holding endless conferences going over the same old Abby agenda. It's time for Victor to leave the Carlton's alone and focus on repairing the rifts in his own fractured family.

I know Y&R is supposed to be the stuff of pure fantasy, mentally transporting us out of our mundane (speaking for myself alone) lives, but even I have limits to my ability to suspend my incredulous disbelief! I know Phyllis the Fearless Wonder Woman is able to leap small, irate Alex's in a single bound, can easily earn the money to buy the bacon to fry up in a pan, and for one lucky man at a time is a lady in the streets and a you know what in the sheets. Yes, I know that lady part is stretching the truth a bit. But come on, not even Phyllis should have been able to talk herself into that prison to drop her cautioning words in Dominic's ears. By the way, am I seeing things or did anyone else think Dominic bore a strong resemblance to Wes? All that aside, though, after listening to Dominic, I'm even more certain than ever that the horror show, the monster, the creature, to quote Damon, has almost certainly lived to regret his drive-by deed and won't be able to rest until he's said those very words to Damon's face. Although Phyllis warned Dominic of his probable fate should he ignore her warning to keep at least a continent between him and the man who wants him dead, Dominic is not expected to listen. In that instance, the future seems easy to predict. As Damon prepares to run Dominic through with his red tasseled sword, or pick him up by the neck in order to squeeze the life from him, or perhaps like in a bad western showdown at sundown moment, decide to use a gun to snuff the life from he who took a life, I'm guessing Phyllis will be the only thing standing between Dominic and his own personal Grim Reaper.

Arthur's stepson, Harrison Bartlett, certainly looks and sounds like the poster person for enraged insanity, doesn't he? What is his story? Is he an angry middle-aged man who hoped to live life easy on Mama's money and is incensed because Arthur ran through it first? Since I want Kay to find love again, it would be nice and tidy to have Harrison turn out to be Mama's murderer although I don't hold out much hope that will be the case. With Harrison's apparent tie to medicine, I can't wait to see whether Mama died of some sort of poisoning. If it's not Harrison's mission to save Kay from a premature death, why is he still in Genoa City? Hopefully, since PI Paul is now on the case, it won't be long before we have all the answers. On second thought, since we're talking about Paul, this could take awhile.

The question on a lot of lips is whether or not the May-September wedding of Brittany and Bobby will actually take place as planned in November. My fingers are crossed, of course, that it won't. While Brittany's perpetual pouting princess routine often grates on my impatient nerves, I admit watching her and J.T. determinedly pretend there's nothing between them except friendship makes me smile. It reminds me of the early days when Brit and Raul first got together, when her customary catty abrasiveness was mostly hidden by a softer, much more likable side. And maybe it's my imagination, but I definitely see sparks between them. Just my opinion, but I think they are a much better match than Brit with too old, too big Bobby or (I'm covering my head here against anticipated angry e-missiles) J.T. with much too young acting, Colleen.

And finally, in the "Genoa City People Say the Strangest Things" category, here are some words that made me giggle. First, about truth. For some folks, apparently truth is only better than fiction when it comes to someone else. First we had Phyllis, someone who has been one of the least trustworthy women in the City, lecturing Daniel about the ABC's of earning and keeping trust. But Gloria's warped way of thinking easily topped Phyllis' when she told Michael with a completely straight face that Kevin had a right to know the truth. Apparently John Abbott does not. And lastly, Chris's comment to Damon drew a "What????" from my open mouth when she told him his life contemplating, tea drinking reputation has preceded him. It had? Who told her?

Well, the engine on my motor mouth has finally sputtered to a standstill, so the stage belongs to you, my fellow fans. Take it away!

* * * * * * *

Jean - "I think Bobby Marsino is tall, dark and handsome. Is he to be Nikki's diamond in the rough? Could be - they do have chemistry."

Laureen - "We're being set up for J.T. and Britt's love fest, aren't we? That strain between them over Bobby is really building up to a truth-telling emotional situation between them. Love Bobby, but would rather have seen him continue to be the really tough guy and not that sappy Brittany type."

Jennifer - "Bobby and Brittany make me want to gag. Watching these two kiss is the most unnatural thing I've ever seen happen between two people. Phyllis needs to open her eyes and pay better attention. I think she and Jack have a chance of getting back together. What happened to Jill? The real Jill wouldn't give Elliot a second thought."

Elizabeth - "I am SO with you regarding the character of Ashley Abbott. We're supposed to feel sympathy towards this woman. As I recall, Diane deserved no such treatment when SHE was the sperm-stealer. But since it's Ashley, that makes it ok? I can't remember the last time I liked Ashley. Oh wait, yes I do. I liked her back when Brenda Epperson was portraying her, and she was married to Blade - a man who wasn't another woman's husband!"

Annie - "Cannot catch my breath from laughing so hard....Ashley telling Gloria she knows she has secrets....too much... Love the Katherine story...did the Judge kill his last wife? Time to hit the bottle again."

Lon - "This would be a very boring soap if there is no drama and things always go well and everybody lives happily ever after. The Ashley Victor saga goes on because the situation makes us upset and we stay tuned to see each outcome. I don't like Ashley either, but her being there keeps me and I think most people watching. Every soap needs a b--ch."

Marilyn - "John you are going to be in a peck of hot water with your Breath of Fresh Air when she begins to smell bad to you."

Dick2H - "It does seem as if Kevin and Mac are drifting (more like being pushed by writers desperate for something new) together. Now Kevin is going to win the Mac prize, after committing arson, vandalism, attempted murder, misprision of a felony and for all we know barratry? Yeah, yeah, by the love of a good woman. Well, as Mark Twain was fond of saying, it won't wash. The writers are backed into a corner, and the varnish ain't drying. The only way out of this is for Kevin to have a fatal accident. Let it happen in time to save Mac for someone more deserving."

Elaine - "Do the writers think we have forgotten Olivia has a son named Little Nate? Where is Little Nate? Tell the writers to come on and get it right ...devoted Olivia would never abandon her son."

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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