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Michelle Stafford
Do what I say, not what I do
by Nita
For the Week of March 6, 2006
That seems to be the tarnished rule of life certain Genoa City citizens like to live by.
That seems to be the tarnished rule of life certain Genoa City citizens like to live by. For instance, Phyllis. If ever a woman should never open her big mouth to flap her tattletale tongue about what others have done, it is definitely her. Okay, I understand that, like a protective mother bear, she was simply coming to her cub's defense when she confronted Dru and threatened to tear off the top of the Lily's Daddy Pandora's box if Dru didn't start minding her Daniel p's and q's. And I admit, despite the low opinion she inexplicably continues to have about Daniel, Dru still had no business manhandling him while she ripped him up one side and down the other. But that would never have happened had Lily's undercover love affair not had him standing stupidly outside her door in the first place. Though her actions were still wrong, Dru was only reacting to what Lily had lead her to believe was the case. Which was that she wanted nothing to do with a doggedly determined to pursue her anyway, Daniel. That said, I still think Phyllis was out of line. Maybe I had too much wax in my ears to hear clearly, but hadn't Daniel just implored his interfering excuse for a Ma to keep her vicious tongue on lock-down so as not to make matters worse? Of course, when you think about it, when it comes to Phyllis, his words were probably akin to bopping an already enraged bull on the head with a bright red flag. So, true to form, ignoring her son's reasonable request, leaps before she peeks, Phyllis, went barreling full speed ahead, spewing all the Winters family secrets for just outside the open door Lily to hear. And who is Madame Big Mouth to chastise someone else for their parentage secrecy anyway? Look at the lengths that bimbo went to, up to and including murder, to keep Daniel's real Daddy a secret.

Was Dru wrong to keep the truth from Lily and Neil for so long? In hindsight, definitely. At least I always thought so, because it wasn't as if Dru went out and deliberately had a secret affair with her husband's brother. And foam at the mouth Phyllis knows the real truth. That there was no romance nor relationship. If Phyllis just had to aim her hypocritical finger at someone, perhaps she should have pointed it straight at Malcolm. Because he can mutter and moan all he wants to about how he thought Dru wanted him. I was there back then, and it was every bit as easy to see as the nose on my face that Dru was out of her head and had no idea who he was.

Of course, some fans would say Dru deserves every bit of the grief Phyllis has just given her. Turnabout is fair play, you reap what you sow, and do unto others are just a few of the cliches some people might mutter while cackling gleefully. For advising her sister to practically shove herself down Brad's cheating gullet, for one, and for sticking her snout into Abby Daddy business that did not concern her, for two. And I would have to agree with those fans. I thought Dru was wrong then, just as I think Phyllis is wrong now. Because then, as now, outside interference has ruined the fabric of a family tapestry. And though it seems Phyllis has suddenly become an arbitrator of truth and justice, I don't see her climbing atop the Genoa City Athletic Club roof to truthfully tell all and sundry what naughty stuff she's doing to Sharon's spouse behind bolted hotel room doors.

Next to feel the painful prick of my pitchfork is Miss Lily, who deserves at least honorary recognition as Little Queen of the Twisted Tale. I have to wonder whether Lily would recognize the truth even if it walked right up and booted her in the bottom. Her life is a lie? While that's certainly true, the fault for that certainly can't all be piled prettily outside Dru's door. Like Pinocchio, if Lily's nose had to tell the tale every time a lie was told, she'd never be able to get close enough to cuddle with Dan-yell. By contrast, how refreshing it was to hear Daniel at least come clean with the truth. Of course, seeing that it was Phyllis who received his confession, it wasn't as if he really had anything to fear. It's clear that Phyllis would much rather be a pal than a parent. But back to Lily. I looked in my empathy bag and lo and behold, I found nothing for Lily. Now that she knows the truth, the real truth and nothing but, how much will any of you wager that she's going to run with it right to dear old Not My Dad? I wouldn't risk a cent on that unlikely occurrence. Instead, I suspect she'll use what she knows to force Dru to accept Dan-yell in her life. So forgive me, if I cry no crocodile tears for Miss Lily for the loss of her father. She has plenty of critical things to say about how Dru handled things. Let's see if she picks the path labeled Truth No Matter the Consequences or It's All About Me. By the way, fan, Elaine, I like the way you think (See below).

Leaving the ladies behind, dead ahead with a target centered in the middle of it, is J.T.'s slight back. All that huffing and puffing because Mac didn't tell him he was almost a Papa. Did he tell Mac he was off chasing shadow camera boys at Colleen's request? I put my ear right next to the TV and I didn't hear him say that. What I did hear and see was steam pouring out of his ears because Kevin knew what he would have known had his lanky limbs been sprawled across the couch in Coed Central instead of hovering ineffectively in the background at the Abbotts. Perhaps had he been home instead of somewhere else, he might have been the one driving Mac to Memorial instead of Kevin. How much does J.T. love Mac? I don't need my fingers and toes to enumerate the ways 'cause I already know the answer. Not very much it seems. Because once again he's accidentally become twisted in the sheets, er, couch cushions, with an older woman while involved with one younger. What is it with this guy, anyway? Does his little lips not know how to sound out the letters N and O?

Oh Victoria, rebound relations? With J.T.? Tsk, tsk. Why? Do you think he might be able to fill Ryan's shoes? The same shoes that were apparently too big for Bradley? One thing about Genoa City folks. These people certainly don't believe in squandering valuable time, do they? Forget about crying inconsolably in their Koolaid. Give them a couple of shots of the good stuff in the liquor cabinet and their hearts are miraculously healed. The broken engagement news hasn't even made it 'round the City and already Victoria's tearing off another man's trousers. You didn't love old Bradley much, now did you? As for J.T., my sharp tongue has only unprintable insults for his fickle behind. He had the nerve to talk about never trusting Mac again? Seems that he's the one who can't be trusted. With any female eighteen to eighty. Slime is too kind of a description for him.

Speaking of moving right along, despite the insincere words sliding from Brad's mouth, heartbroken is not the picture his demeanor immediately brought to my mind's eye. While proclaiming himself oh so in love with the dark Victoria, his eyes of late have been falling on Sharon with uninterested eyes. But that was then. More recently when last they parted, I couldn't help but see a definite gleam of speculation in the greedy gaze Bradley aimed at Sharon. Remember, this is the same man who requested Victoria's hand in marriage mere hours after professing his never felt like this before amour to Sharon. And wasn't it only soap yesterday or the day before that he was telling Ashley he guessed he was stuck with her? For Brad, love is like standing at the bus stop. There's always another bus comin' round the corner with a moneyed female aboard. You know, if Brad's not careful, he's going to get a bad name in this town. He's dumped both the Abbott women and now he's officially been left curbside by each of the Newman gals.

Nick is given my grudging commendation for his intention to tell Sharon the truth. If not for Noah's little knock to his noggin, the Athletic Club conversation between Sharon and Brad might have gone quite differently. By the way, though you certainly can't see them beneath those skintight frocks of hers, Phyllis most certainly has the biggest brass ... nerve I've ever seen. Showing up at the hospital like that. It's not as if she's close to Noah. Those few sentences she spoke to him in his hospital room have to be about the total sum of her communication with him. Okay, I had to get that out. Now back to the Newman marriage. Phyllis' odd hospital visit apparently not setting off any blaring alarms, the veil of infidelity still blocks Sharon's view, already partly clouded by those rose colored glasses perched on the end of her nose, and she still thinks Phyllis is her family's friend. So why is my commendation to Nick grudging? Because although he fully intended to rain on Sharon's anniversary parade, his change of heart isn't really doing her any favor. If all he's going to do is pine painfully for his sultry siren, he might as well have brought down the curtain on his false marriage. But I have to give him credit for at least being willing to try to make the pretense a reality. Me, I'll always chose the quick cut of the painful truth over being the pitied half of a pretend pairing.

Speaking of pairing, raise your hands high if you think Nooky, I mean Nick-liss is really over. The parting is barely a day old and already they're looking longingly at their cell phone keypads, their sad little faces lined with lonely despair. There Nick is, forcing his dimpled grin of happiness at Sharon's urging. There Phyllis is, cupping Jack's face, leading him up the stairs. Nick again, this time pressing digits, starting, but thinking better of making a quick call to his mistress while his wife's away. Back to Phyllis, this time coming down Jack's staircase, in Jack's robe, taking a melancholy moment out to think about Nick. Now Phyllis wants to play vulnerable vixen. No strings, keep it light, if no one knows, who's it gonna hurt? Isn't that all the things and more Phyllis said? Why if I had a heart, it would probably be bleeding in sympathetic pain for her. But, who said I possessed a heart? Even without one, I almost felt sorry for her. Almost being the operative word. And lastly, that's a picture of me I've inserted in the scene, my mouth forming a horrified O, silently screaming at the possibility of Phyllis in that theatrical soap pose, you know the one with her hand on her still flat tummy with a growing Newman or Abbott heir curled cozily inside. Please someone promise me we're not about to take another journey down the Who's the Daddy Road. Although it would probably be poetic justice of the most ironic kind to see how Phyllis would choose to handle a similar situation for which she's repeatedly raked Dru over the coals for.

Okay back to my original question. No, I do not believe Nick-liss is no more. Will they be able to keep their hands, or other body parts from each other? Not likely. And if they can't, everything they've done and might continue to do under the dark and musky covers will eventually be dragged out into the bright light of day. If they're caught in a somewhat compromising position, whose eyes do you think might catch them in the act? Neil, Nikki, Victor, Michael, or more devastatingly Jack, or worst case scenario of all, Sharon. Oh, I'm practically drooling at the thought of that particular confrontation. Because when necessary, Sharon can cut quite a wide swath with that sharp, sarcastic tongue of hers, but we all know Phyllis has never been a pushover and I doubt very seriously that she's suddenly going to become one. Just think. Two Nick-described amazing woman battling it out over him.

Okay, one last smart-aleck remark at Phyllis' expense. Did she really say to Nick: You're really close to Noah, aren't you? Duhh, slap a pointy dunce cap on her impetuous head. No, sex on the brain, he just took a leave of absence from his job to play stay at home daddy cause he doesn't care a fig about his little kid. Although it's not so surprising Phyllis might find this kind of caring a bit baffling. It's not as if she's accustomed to putting her son before her current sheet mate.

So anyway, when the truth comes out, there's going to be plenty of heartbreak to go around. But who will be weeping in tandem and who might be moping alone? Nick and Phyllis will have each other. Sharon can safely turn to Brad, especially since Victoria has tossed him on the reject pile. And since she's now had J.T., it's not like she'll have to cry in her pillow alone, unless she just wants to or Colleen winds up with the J.T. prize in her Crackerjack box. In a related pairing, if J.T. is through with Mac, she can lean on Kevin. Who will console Jack, you might wonder? Well, unless he's planning on sending for Diane, looks like he's going to be shivering out in the cold all alone. I guess he can always lean on Stepmommy. And no I don't mean Gloria. I meant Jill.

After days and days of listening to Jack and his like minded cohorts stridently accuse Michael of all manner of underhanded doings, it was a nice change to see Lauren standing supportively by her man. And she looked quite young and adorable in her casual updo.

And last, but not least, it was multiple hanky time at the Abbott house. Watching the touching montage of days gone by reminded me how long I've been caught up in the fictional but fascinating lives of these Genoa City citizens, because I remembered every one of those moments. It was a very powerful parting and quite well done. No complaints. I loved it!

For Joan and all other fans of John Abbott, of which I am one, don't despair quite yet. Despite how things appear, like Nick-liss, I just don't believe John's departure is the end of this story. Don't scribble The End across this one just yet. My guess is he'll be back. But, it's just a guess. I don't know any more than you.

But until that time comes, if it ever does, pop up the popcorn because the drama is about to begin. Gloria is living with a two-headed monster. The face glowering malevolently on the right is Jack's and the one that looks as if it smells something an alley cat dragged in belongs to Ashley. With Gloria in full possession of John's proxy, the double dealing corporate games are about to begin. And as team captain, Jack is already recruiting possible players. Well, Jack might have Ashley and Jill on his side, but he might want to be careful about boasting too loudly about his ability to bring to the table all the power and might of CI as well. Sure, Jack is running CI things now. But he seems to have conveniently forgotten it's Kay who has ultimate veto power.

Okay, fans, I've had my sarcastic say. What follows are your opinions. And as usual, you didn't pull any punches!

* * * * * * *


ANTOINE - I wonder why the District Attorney never presented his argument. The case seemed like a tribute to John instead of a murder trial. I can't express how much I LOVED Wednesday's episode this week. It's episodes like this that clearly explain why Y&R is the number one daytime soap opera. I loved the flashbacks with John and how he is an outstanding father, grandfather, stepfather etc., Gloria and Jack fighting, the idea of the Proxy, Victoria Rowell and her amazing acting especially when sticking it to Daniel. The love scenes with Daniel and Lily. I loved it all! I feel John left the show in a completely noble and honorable way. Filled with respect and dignity. The character of John Abbott is a perfect example of what a gentlemen should be. I also loved the premier of the Gloria and Jack "This is War" storyline. It's going to be energetic, and plenty of fireworks! A must see on Daytime. I think we should start calling J.T., Lil' Brad. Right now he currently has 3 girls wanting to be with him. Mac, Colleen, and most recent Victoria Newman. While Brad had Ashley, Victoria, and Sharon. They both keep it all in the family, and when one makes them mad dispose of her, and get a new one. That's their motto! Maybe if Victoria and J.T. make things more permanent, soon when J.T. gets too bored, or Victoria makes him mad he will start hitting on Nikki Newman. I also was very confused on why Tracy and Ashley didn't say ANYTHING to each other. They didn't sit by each other, look in the same direction, it was exactly like they were invisible to each other. I know Brad has something to do with that, but they are sisters, and this was a very important moment. I think it's more to the story. Lastly, I am sooo glad that Lily knows the secret. It's about time! The only thing I am worried about is Neil not finding out. I really, like Neil, he is an outstanding role model. BUT, people need to know the truth especially with issues like this. I have a feeling if Neil never finds out it's going to resemble Ashley, and Johns paternity storyline. It would be a lot better if Neil knows and the family manages to over come the obstacle while Malcolm also being involved in his daughters life.

ANGEL - Wednesday's show was wonderful. I felt the tears flowing and my heart breaking as John said his goodbyes to his loved ones and Kevin stood by Mac's side during her miscarriage. When Mac began to feel pain, my heart melted as an alarmed and concerned Kevin jumped over the furniture to support his good friend through her crisis. While I think that Mac should have been open with J.T. about being preggers, he has no right to act the way which we know he undoubtedly will. He should have been with Mac, not Colleen who could care less for her family's current crisis. Also last week when Colleen tried to snap at Kevin and tell him that he didn't know anything about her family... like it or not toots, Kevin IS family and he has been way more supportive through Abbott troubles than she has. I am rooting for Mac and Kevin. Colleen doesn't even deserve dim-witted J.T.. I am also sick of Jack and Ashley playing the blame game. Gloria nor Michael nor Kevin murdered Tom: John did that and John is willing to take responsibility for that. If I were Gloria, Jacky and Ash would be out on the street. Nick and Phyllis disgust me. I cannot wait for these two to reap what they have sown. Poor Sharon. I am anxiously awaiting the collapse of Dru's "perfect world" and am hoping that Devon's pseudo-incestuous feelings for foster sister Lily will crumble with Drew's world. Put Devon with Sierra, let Lily and Daniel be together and let Neil ditch Dru for keeping Lily's parentage a secret as well as the details surrounding Lily's conception (hello? anyone remember? Malcolm took advantage of his brother's wife who was hopped up on cold meds!)

KIM - I love reading two scoops because you express how I feel when watching these episodes. There are characters I wanna smack, storylines I want to get rid of, and people that I am bored with (i.e. Mac and J.T.). I swear sometimes I feel like I am watching Passions as some people in Genoa City appear to be walking with their eyes shut. But for the next scoop can you please discuss why Dru and Neil are stifling Lily. I mean they might as well put her in a convent if they have issues with any man that's interested in her.

JOAN - I cannot believe they are taking Jerry Douglas off the show! Bill Bell is rolling over in his grave! How disrespectful to him and us who LOVE John Abbott! For years we have watched, loved and admired him and now new "writers" have jerked him away, for what? I lost a lot of respect for Y & R for doing that. If they do not bring him back they have made a terrible mistake. They have other awful actors no one would miss, bring Jerry Douglas back, he is one of who is Y & R, ask us old enough to know!

LYNN - I will be so glad when Sharon finally finds out about Nick and Phyllis. I wish she could find that hotel key and sneak in the room and surprise them both. The look on Nicks face would be priceless. Nothing like being caught with your pants down. Hope he feels like crap when Sharon takes Noah and leaves. It would be a added plus if Jack helped her leave by giving her the Abbott jet and Nick not knowing where they were while Jack knowing the entire time, and never saying a word....just gloating the whole time. It's time for Nick to be soundly put in his place.

TINA - I don't know if it was my imagination or not but, the night Sharon was supposed to go on a trip for the company Nick called Phyllis to set up a rendezvous. That day Phyllis was in the office wearing a black halter top. Later Phyllis was in the hotel room setting the mood and had changed into a red top. Now I thought Phyllis had packed everything up and headed home. The next day at the office Phyllis was wearing the very same black halter top as the day before ... hmmm. By the way I love your commentary. It makes a great read.

FANCY - I LOVE 2 scoops, it adds to the drama of our favorite soap! Ooh Mary! I hope you are right about Gloria, but she was so busy worrying about John when she hung up the phone! What if she got into her car and got there first? She's from Motown and probably drives like NASCAR. Jack and Ashley will really be shocked if they find out John took the blame for his wife. I can't wait until the Newmans find out about prince Nick. Like father like son? or is it just time for a change in his life. I know marriage is tough, but after 10 years, pahleeze! That passion should be reserved for hid dearly beloved, and if he has truly "fallen" for "Old Red" enough to end it with Sharon, she should say," Good Riddance!" She has spent too long with a boy, she needs a man! I hope Mac keeps her baby and stays moral. It would really be something if she and Kevin get together (sexually) before she tells J.T. about the baby! It would be his opportunity to show all of GC he is truly a changed man! What a roller coaster ride! Today, we love some characters, tomorrow we hate them!

BETSY - From you: 'I remember she and John had that second ceremony, but it was only symbolic since she still wasn't divorced from Tom. And although the paperwork for the divorce was said to be started, I presume that pesky six month waiting period still applies." From me: A bonafide Soapism! I thought I heard John say or allude to the fact that the Tom/Gloria divorce was, basically, minutes away - right before the 2nd ceremony. Otherwise, why would the writers have written the ceremony in? Ever look at the Ripple Effect in family psychology, Nita? Tom is a perfect example of it. Too bad he doesn't get residuals. His presence is felt without him actually acting. The best actors are the ones that can tell you what's going on without saying anything. Mr. Born doesn't even have to be there! We're all thinking of him.

SHIRLEY - Boy, do I ever agree with you! I cannot stand J.T.. He is so unattractive, a wimp and I really wish he wouldn't try to "sing." Make Gloria go away, she so overacts! I hate the Nick Phyllis thing, I find it so disgusting, as Nick was always so damn self righteous when Sharon cheated on him. Victoria and J.T.? Ugh! Are there no age limits here? Victoria is smart and savvy? NOT! Never liked Ashley and am sick of her running to Victor with her little woes. Brad is a manipulator, but he is a decent dad. I love Michael and Lauren, please more on them! Don't like the new Lily, she will never replace the other one who was beautiful. I wish there were more of Katherine and Jill, they are just great together. Jack is smug and arrogant, but he is a very big part of the show, and he and Phyllis belong together. They deserve each other! Oh, well, the writers will do as they please, and if we don"t like it we don't have to watch! Oh, yeah I hate Kevin!

ELAINE - Sorry but I had to write this ... anyone that can be upset with Dru and Neil must have never had teenage kids, or their kids ran the household. Lily needs to be knocked down a peg or two ... maybe even knocked out literally. This is a young girl who had her first sexual encounter with an online child predator (Kevin) who left her with an STD. Then she runs off and gets herself in all kinds of legal trouble, from which she still has not learned a thing, for what? Daniel (who by the way has the worst haircut on tv today) is still a kid himself and still on probation for his behavior. Let's not forget it was his drinking that started all the mess that ended with up the death of another child. He may not have been directly responsible but he still bears some of the blame. I am so sick of reading all the posts that Lily and Daniel are so cute ... so hot and they need to be left alone. It is a parent's responsibility to "run" their children's lives until they are old enough to so do themselves. Dru and Neil need to be commended for taking a firm stand against teen age sex, disobedience, drinking, etc. If Phyllis had the parenting skills of an alley cat she too would hold Daniel accountable instead of condoning his behavior. And finally, it was so hypocritical of Daniel to confess to his mom because he was tired of lying to her and being dishonest, but not want Lily to do the same. I guess the apple didn't fall far from that tree. The next time I can't take anymore I'll vent about Gloria.

ALICE - Nita, love, love your commentary! I could not agree more about the Jack broken record, but you've gotta throw Ashley in there too. They both did so much deflecting of blame this past month, I'm surprised the house is still in one piece with all the ricochets bouncing around. Listen, I was really thrilled when the new Jack came on board years ago, he brought freshness to the character. But good god writers - give the boy a life PLEASE. As it is, I fast forward through any scene with Jack or Ashley in it. Just listening to them, you would think the Pope himself was about to name them as candidates for sainthood!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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