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 Two Scoops: April 3, 2006 columns
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Don Diamont
Am I crazy?
by Nita
For the Week of April 3, 2006
Genoa City is woefully lacking in prospects to partner, thus is forced to repeatedly harness the same stallion to many different mares.
I hate to lash a lame horse until he drops to his knobby knees and whinnies for mercy, but I'm having a real problem with the current less than captivating couples. Is it just me, or are there other fans out there who, if they were to find themselves standing next to some of these couples, would shiver with a teeth-chattering chill and reach for their winter woolens, instead of pull off pieces of their attire in a desperate attempt to find relief from the scorching heat? Okay, so teeth-chattering chill may be exaggerating a bit, but at least in my case, not by much. I do try to remind myself daily that when it comes to charismatic couplings, Genoa City is woefully lacking in prospects to partner, thus is forced to repeatedly harness the same stallion to many different mares, but I guess I have gotten too spoiled over the years with the tossed tidbits of what could have been.

For instance, could be I'm the only one, but I saw sparks when J.T. was falling (well, as deeply as he can fall anyway) for Brittany. And way before that, when he was so obviously smitten with original Mac. Then there was Brittany and Raul. I thought he brought out a softness in her that made her likable. Pairing her with Bobby instead felt jarring and somehow distinctly distasteful. I've already said before how magical I found original Mac and original Billy, so I won't repeat myself. As for Victoria, I know he turned out to be a stalker, but I liked her and Gary together. Not as much as with Ryan, of course. And Diego and Victoria were another pairing that worked for me. And I was falling hard for her and Michael. The two of them used to make me smile the minute they appeared on screen together. Phyllis and Jack had my vote until he invited that viper Diane into their marriage, then turned all ultimatum man of the mansion. And lastly, as much as I loathe the way Nick and Phyllis found their way to each other, I can't deny they projected that elusive something everybody else aspires to.

Take for instance, Brad and Victoria. When they look into each other's eyes, do you feel anything? What about when they lock their lips together and share a soulful kiss? Do you wish you were Victoria? Or Brad? Next up, J.T. and Colleen. Are you shouting 'way to go' at every one of Colleen's carefully calculated attempts to rekindle J.T.'s caring? Or do you just shake your head pityingly at her transparent desperation and wonder how long they'll be together before J.T.'s eyes, or other body parts, wander to another? How about Daniel and Lily? When they adoringly call each other baby, do they make you fondly recall your own young, pure first love? I do think these two might begin to grow on me. I rewound my tape and tried to see them with an eye and brain that blocked out former Lily and they aren't really that bad together. So I'm going to keep an open mind and see what happens next now that most of the barriers keeping them from one another have been removed. Nothing like a little reality to test the theory that two can live happily ever after solely on love and an occasional slice of cheesecake. And finally, Mac and J.T.. I join with the multitude of fans who didn't think J.T. and Mac together even came close to winning our hearts, but I still think Kevin and Mac might have had a chance if she wasn't about to be packed away in the dreaded box labeled former Genoa Citians.

Like I said, I realize the pickings are slim in this sometimes too close for decency den of iniquity, and unless new bodies are brought in, or at least combined a different way, it could soon be a problem of near-incestuous proportions. At the rate these townsfolk are breaking up and moving on, soon the whole of Genoa City will be just one big, infighting family. Just think back to some of the past and present pairings of just three of the town's strutting stallions. The ruthless self-made millionaire, Victor, has shared himself with Nikki, Ashley, Diane, and Jill, and many more that are long gone and nearly forgotten. Though many have come to dislike Victor (not me, of course), the Nikki-Victor connection has withstood the test of time and most attacks by members of the opposite sex. I know there were many crossed fingers and toes at the potential of a Bobby-Nikki link-up, but alas, it was not to be. In the end, Bobby's heart continued to pound in passion for his pouty-mouthed marriage mate. Next we have Brad G (the G is for Gigolo) Carlton who has repeatedly managed to position himself at the receiving end of the charms and/or pocketbooks, or both, of Tracy, Cassandra, Lauren, Nikki, Ashley, Olivia, and now Victoria; and his is an incomplete list as well. And we can't leave out J.T.. With the notched names of Brittany, Rianna, Anita, Robin, Mac and Victoria all scratched there, there's no more available room on his bedpost. When it comes time (as it inevitably will) to add Colleen's curlicued initials, I guess he'll have to carve them on his footboard. Perhaps time will prove me wrong, but so far I don't see so much as a wisp of smoke between this pushy new Colleen and J.T.. It's bad enough she's a liar, but she's fake as a four dollar bill besides. Oooh J.T., she squealed, looking sideways at him in what she might have thought was a flirtatious manner, I absolutely LOOOVE basketball. Ugh. That girl is truly annoying me. Does she have to lie about everything? Who is she? A chameleon who is willing to turn herself inside out to be what she thinks J.T. wants? And the ease with which she yanks the tangled wool over his eyes makes him look just plain stupid.

On the other hand, while I can't imagine those tapping the keys will explore the possibility of a Kevin-Colleen connection, at least not for now, judging from their conspiratorial, almost playful interaction together last week; it's not something that should be completely rejected as impossible. The biggest roadblock to that happening, though, would be the Colleen fans that might never be able to get past the fact that he once tried to roast the deceptive little diva. And what if the union of Daniel and Lily winds up being more 'for now' rather than 'forever', is there a snowball's chance in the hot place that he could be consoled by Colleen, while Devon uses his clean, white hanky to dry Lily's tears?

As to which match-ups I currently DO like, Lauren and Michael fill the bill nicely, of course. Victor and Nikki. And Neil and Dru. Liking these last two together, by the way, has absolutely nothing to do with my opinion of Neil's recent mishandling of his Lily's love connection.

Okay, enough about the pairings that do or don't make my heart go pitter patter. Time to move on.

Hissssssss. That was the sound I heard when Paul escorted the escapees back home and presented them to their parents. Yes, exactly the sound half-filled helium balloons make when someone pricks them with a tiny pin. Finally realizing a marriage too late, the futility of continuing to take a combative stance against his daughter's love choice, Neil gives in without another whimper. If he hadn't been so stubborn, he'd now be dealing with Lily's boyfriend instead of her husband. Now that the deed has been done and for now will receive no more parental opposition, does any fan care to place a copper coin on the length of the Romalotti tie up? With identical stars shining brightly in their eyes, the young newlyweds are convinced they can live easily on enduring devotion and a handful of dollars in their designer jeans. But I'm not so sure. I know I wasn't the only fan who caught that dismayed look in Lily's eyes as she gazed around their one room love nest. By the way, I've seen that shed/playhouse/hideaway through many a smitten teen's eye. And I don't ever remember seeing a stove. But that has nothing to do with anything, so back to that distinct look of trepidation that briefly crossed Lily's face. Remember this is a lass who has always been comfortably cuddled smack dab in the middle of the lap of luxury. A girl to who work is just a four letter word that other, less moneyed mortals have to know how to do in order to eat and keep roofs over their heads. Not that they are really out there in the cold, uncaring world alone. For now if it keeps a tenuous tie between him and Phyllis, Jack will be thrilled to provide lights, gas, water, food, and anything else this duo needs. Still, it will be very interesting to see how Lily handles a life of something considerably less than prosperity.

Having to live from paycheck to paycheck or figure out how to rob Peter in order to send a check to Paul is something Victoria will never have to worry about. But after that little dust-up with Daddy, if she doesn't obey his p's and q's, she may very well have to return to painting and puttering around in the kitchen. Okay, I know there are many fans out there who despise Victor with a capital D, but I, for one, am thrilled to see him coming back to life. An aimless Victor hanging around the home place in jeans and black tee, fretting over the mundane matters of his children's love lives was not a Victor Newman I knew or cared to watch. Sure, he's rude and controlling and extremely opinionated. And yes, he's meddlesome and domineering and sometimes hateful. And he's certainly shown he can be a man of double, even triple standards. So call me crazy for liking him anyway. And for thoroughly enjoying his confrontation with Victoria. Yes, Victoria has the right to make her own wrong man choices, but she should have known better than to tell Daddy she's the one running the company, and that he can like it or lump it. No, she didn't use those words, but that's certainly what she implied. What the H E double hockey sticks was she thinking? Forget waving a red flag at him from a safe and discreet distance. She marched right up to him and slapped him in the face with it. Is it any wonder he immediately shattered her delusions of grandeur by reminding his "little girl" she was only an eye blink away from unemployment? Like I said, the man has always been controlling; that isn't something that suddenly happened. And while he's wrong for trying to force his kids to do it his way or hit the highway, chances are 99 and 3 quarters out of 100 that he's absolutely right about Brad. Of course, he has no one but himself to blame for Brad's insidious presence in Victoria's life. After all, it was his need to continue to be an annoying thorn in Jack's side with that Newman for Jabot stock exchange that cracked the door open so Brad could insert his manipulative toe inside. But as the elders used to say about what people who can't stomach the heat in the kitchen should do, Victor owes neither of his children a living, and if they don't like it at Daddy's company, they can always print out their resumes and strike out on their own. Yeah, I'm rolling on the floor laughing at that one too.

And I continued to smile with satisfaction as Sharon put Nick on the spit and slowly began to roast him over the infidelity fire. I don't mind saying I'm thoroughly enjoying this new Sharon though my admiration is cautious. Unfortunately for her, once she gets the burlap bag all the way open and shows Nick she knows all about the red furred feline crouched and hissing at the bottom, what then? Nick has told Phyllis he loves her; that his heart isn't in his 10 year marriage and perhaps hasn't been for an undisclosed matter of time. So Sharon might want to be careful before slicing off her nose to assuage her womanly pride. Before kicking her cur to the side of the road, she should be certain she won't one day want to pet him again, because with Phyllis waiting in the wings, if Sharon no longer wants her man, it's not like he has to slink off in a corner and lick his sore wounds in solitude. No, he would then be free to help himself in the open to the cookies he's been nibbling on in secret. Another question to be answered is whether Nick's feelings for Sharon are as dead as he's been saying. So far, the start of the unmasking of Nick has been don't wanna miss watching, and I'm looking forward to more of the same in the coming week. By the way, was that little lacy piece of lingerie fluff not the ugliest thing you've ever seen Sharon or Phyllis wear?

Speaking of Phyllis, she's wearing her garment of guilt quite well. Too bad she hadn't taken it out of her closet and slipped it on before her son caught her in that undignified act. Where was such abject remorse when she was kissing Sharon's mate practically outside the woman's own front door? And it was quite conspicuously absent when she was sharing surface girl talk with Sharon while fondling provocative wear she planned to strut her toned stuff in before Sharon's husband. But while Phyllis' guilt now seems completely genuine, I don't expect it to last a whole lot longer. After all, Phyllis is still Phyllis, and she isn't going to play the shamed and martyred lover for long. I'm guessing that before long she'll be blaming Sharon for what she and Nick did, multiple times, pointing to what she knows Sharon did, as well as what she contemplated doing, with Brad. And before I leave the subject of the now repentant mistress, was she blowing up his phone or what? And then to actually go to the place of husband and wife assignation and send in an urgent note for Nick. Talk about brass … nerve.

So much for the Newmans. Those Abbotts haven't been a bit idle either. Gloria, whose parents should have more appropriately named her Dumb and Dumber has obviously been forgetting to hold her breath before she sprays the superhold hairspray in the mornings. How else to explain her asinine act of sabotage. She seemed to have little to no care or concern for Abby's pain, who did not have the benefit of being forewarned and forearmed with painkiller and numbing cream. As always I can only hope she'll get caught this time and suffer some consequences for a change, though I'm not going to bother to hold my breath in hopes of that happening. I admit I almost felt sorry for Ashley. Jack, on the other hand, struck no such sympathetic chord in me. Like Gloria, he wasn't much concerned about Abby or anyone else who suffered a similar fate after slathering on Glow Again. The only thing he cared about was how he could hide what had happened. So I don't mind saying that I giggled like a completely crazy loon when Brad pushed Jack so hard his pompadour collapsed.

Was Abby and Victor just too cute together? Although a mental picture of Abby and Victor skipping barefoot through the grass hand in hand made me giggle a bit uncontrollably again.

Anyway, there's always more I can comment on, but the hour grows late, so I'm off to make sure my VCR clock updated itself to Daylight Savings Time. Because there's no way I want to read a recap of what is to come. I want to make sure I have a tape so I can see for myself every spiteful look and hear every accusing word, multiple times, if necessary.

Now, here's what your fellow fans had to say about the Genoa City doings. I'm never hesitant about saying what I think. And, obviously, neither are any of you. Enjoy their words and our favorite soap. See ya next week.

* * * * * * *


SANDI - All I can say is if Ashley is as sloppy with letting her moisture cream sit out in plain sight and not locked up (like Damon did with the orchid) she deserves everything she gets! Where in the world does a product get delivered by a chemist to the head chemist and it sits out on a counter and is going to be filled in the jars by the people working at the lab. You say new writers have made a difference; well, not on this one. At least we found out why Gloria did what she did -- to save the day, but yes, it is going to back fire. What is dear Nikki going to say when she finds out Nicholas has been "doing" Phyllis -- she may have to come down off her high horse where Sharon is concerned.

JULIE - I could not agree with you more about there not being a good teen love storyline since the original Mac and Billy! I loved every last detail of that storyline, from the conflict between Jill and Kay to Brittany playing the jealous ex-girlfriend. I was so upset when they recast both characters and even more upset when they ended the entire story by making them cousins. Now Mac is being completely removed from the canvas. I can't say I'm too disappointed though. They haven't been able to do much with her character lately. I really hope that Y&R can come up with a new teen storyline, a couple that can be the next Mac and Billy because Daniel and Lily just aren't really doing it for me.

DORIS - I enjoy the soap central outline of all the soaps and the 2 scoops. However, I disagree strongly with Kevin's character. I don't understand why anyone would want to see him in a relationship with anybody. He hasn't really changed and neither has his ditz of a mother that goes for Michael too. They know that she is not doing the right thing but they protect her in doing it. Kevin makes me sick to my stomach there is no way I would want to have a relationship with an internet predator or someone that tried to kill someone and set Gina's place on fire and got away with it all. Everyone knows that he did it. I find his story so ridiculous wish that he would follow Mac in leaving. I do agree with your assessment of Lily and Daniel I don't see any chemistry there at all but I didn't see any with the previous one either. There was more sparks with him and Colleen. It is ironic that with all of the lowdown things that other characters have done, poor John is the only one to go to jail and serve time. Something is wrong with this picture, I think Gloria should pay because all of his troubles started with her.

MARIE-CLAIRE - I loved your comments about Nick and Phyllis. It's only about sex and I don't buy the love between this two. The fact they have chemistry isn't enough for me. More the writers seem to forget the story of the characters. Nick is a jerk and Phyllis is a whore. Phyllis will go after another before even Nick and Sharon divorce. I loved Phyllis but she turns again in an horrible woman. I hope Sharon will make them to pay what they made her. I want the whole town against Nick and Phyllis. Phyllis already lost her son and that doesn't seem a problem for her, the sex is more important for her.

SHARON - I might be mistaken and but the new Lily doesn't seem ghetto to me? What exactly do all your readers define as ghetto? The new Lily is a few shades darker with a different type of hair, is that all it takes to be ghetto? The new lily is still just as spoiled, naive and foolish as the last. She certainly isn't street smart and I haven't seen her hanging out in the projects, using slang, drinking 40's and smoking weed or whatever ghetto means. Forget being believable with Daniel, she needs to look like Dru and Malcolm could have spawned her. Some children look nothing like either parent however, its very unlikely that a Dru-Malcolm would remotely resemble Lily, mixed heritage or not. On another subject, watching Nick turn his back on his wife is horrendous and I hope his character gets a hurtful reality check because he needs it.

KAREN - think about this: the modern adage is that you are sleeping with every person your partner slept with. That being the case, Victoria has slept with her mother (via Brad) and pretty soon Colleen will be sleeping with her father (via J.T. via Victoria). What a wonderful world it is in Genoa City where you can share intimacy among family!

DICK2H - Haven't chimed in for a while, but I can't resist pointing out that Lily and Daniel ARE NOT MARRIED. The ceremony was based on a fraud, and thus cannot be legally valid. No one has tumbled to this, which is one thing that drives me bats about Y&R. This fine disregard for legal realities may be needed for story purposes, but it cuts the cord that I use to suspend disbelief. With all due respect to your African American correspondents, may I suggest reading "Mapping Human History," by Steve Olsen, a readable treatment of modern human evolution. Olsen demonstrates scientifically that the concept of race is artificial -- there really is no such thing, only superficial differences among modern humans that evolved from environmental conditions. Inside we are all the same. It may also be worth noting that among today's African Americans, on average about 30 percent of their genes are of European origin, according to several studies.

TREY - Hey Nita, I noticed that my comments kind of made an uproar on your website, and although I totally respect everyone's opinion, I wanted to comment. I made the comments I did last week, because I felt offended that someone called the new Lilly "street smart." I didn't and still don't know exactly what your readers mean when they say that. To me, it still has an offensive connotation, but I wont debate over semantics. My point, was to say that although Y&R gets credited for having so many African American characters(really there are only 4 as opposed to 25 other Caucasian characters), I was commenting on the lack of diversity that appears on my TV screen. As someone who is not biracial, Yes I feel offended when I turn on my Soaps and there are very few people who don't look like me. I felt empathy for the new Lilly, because I liked that in my opinion, she represented something I hadn't seen on daytime television. Of course not all African Americans are the same, but no one can disagree with the fact that I don't believe there is an accurate representation of African Americans on television. I'd love to see someone as dark as me, play a powerful role, like Olivia. But where is she? I was not trying to offend anyone with my comments, but one becomes angry when there is a misrepresentation. I don't have straight hair, or light skin and I guess my point was, many African Americans don't. Although some do, I have to reiterate that there is simply not an accurate representation of realistic African Americans on television. Imagine to my surprise the other day when I turn on OLTL and I see not one, but two dark skinned women on that show. I wanted to give them kudos. For not buckling to convention. Again, I didn't mean to upset anyone, but my opinion still stands. The new Lilly is more realistic and I don't think it makes her "street smart" because she says "baby" a couple of times. Again, did not mean to offend anyone, but I am only stating the truth.

LENA - I would like to comment on the Lily and Daniel marriage. I do not think it will last, and I don't like this Lily, she is so clingy with Daniel that it's sickening to watch. I do not care for the new Colleen, she is such a liar and B*tch and I hope J.T. is smart enough to see through her act. I cannot stand Phyllis to be with heartless Nick, I think Phyllis deserves to be with someone who has a heart. Sharon, I hope to god divorces that loser Nick and takes him for half of Newman enterprises and finds someone new, not Brad Carlton, maybe a new character. Mac and Kevin belong together, so I hope they recast Mac. J.T. and Victoria belong together because they are both immature and coldhearted.

JUSTINE - People presume that being of a certain race gives them a degree of expertise on that race, when it really does not since there's really only the human race and we all vary. It's stereotyping to say Lily should look a certain way based on her parentage. Maybe in casting Davetta Sherwood as Lily, they were looking to make the character go toe to toe with Dru (who says things like "hit me back" to mean return her phone call So it couldn't be a mystery that Lily might use the term "baby" in reference to Daniel and what's so wrong with that anyway?). She went away and came back with an edge and wow, do people presume that boarding school is full of all good strait- laced girls, and thus it's impossible that Lily could learn to call Daniel "baby?" Or maybe she watched a few movies and picked up on it. At one time or another, we will probably all be guilty of trying to make people fit into a mold of how we think they should behave due to stereotypes. Sure there are things that people are more likely to do or say based on their environment, but it's not written in stone that they do. I do enjoy your perspective and I may not agree with you on all you say, but you're entertaining nonetheless.

BETSY - Y&R is so great because we all view the same scenes with our own biases and aggage. Even my husband and I (who agree on most things) differ on perception of a character in the story versus the actor portraying the role, what is right or wrong morally or ethically, and what will happen next. Nita, you use your humor wonderfully help us take another look. Kudos to you!

KATHY - Absolutely love your column! Keep up the great work. Just wanted to voice my two cents worth and say that now that Sharon has found out about Nick and Phyllis I wish she (Sharon) would get off her high horse. It is not like she has a perfect past when it comes to her marriage. Just a short time ago she was professing her love for Brad! To hear her go on and on the other day about Nick you would think he was the only person in this marriage who had ever crossed the line. It was so hard to listen to Sharon go on and on when you know how she has been feeling towards Brad and when you know her past! That was really bothering me so thanks for letting me get it off my chest!

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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