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 Two Scoops: September 22, 2008 columns
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Eric Braeden
Some things never change!
by Nita
For the Week of September 22, 2008
According to Jack, Victor is the evil root of every problem he's ever had.
As we are all very well aware, Jack hates Victor and is determined to make him pay. According to Jack, Victor is the evil root of every problem he's ever had. It's Victor's fault for buying up all the shares when Jack foolishly decided to take Jabot public. Victor's fault Diane tossed him aside for the chance to get her greedy mitts into Victor's overstuffed plush pocketbook. Victor's fault for the RSM line of credit. Like Victor told him to be silly enough to use a coin toss to settle ownership. On his deathbed, I imagine Jack will be querulously claiming the fault for his impending doom also rests with Victor. Unfortunately, Jack's revenge refrain is old as dirt and far out of tune. And, on top of that, watching Jack try to put together yet another ill-planned plot to somehow get even with Victor stopped being entertaining many manipulations ago. When is Jack going to face the fact that he's never going to beat Victor? Over the years, no matter which Genoa Citian he was paired with at the time, and so far he's teamed up with everyone from the Devil on down, in the end Jack still wound up with gobs of undercooked egg dribbling down his scowling countenance. Why would we expect this time to be any different than the others, that somehow he and Adam could be the jackpot-winning pair?

Not that Jack's cacophony of complaints about Victor were his only irritating words this week. He got me going again as he boo-hoo-hooed to Phyllis about Sharon's letter to Nick. I wonder if I was the only fan muttering for him to stuff a Dockers sock in it. First of all, although he didn't put pen to paper like Sharon did, he sure didn't waste a single second racing straight to his former beloved to rant and rail about Sharon. He didn't like that Sharon reached out to Nick without his knowledge, yet when he did confront Sharon, I didn't hear him volunteer one word about how he'd made a beeline for Phyllis so she could read it for herself. Why didn't he talk to his wife first? What did he think Phyllis would do about the contents of the letter, other than use it as yet another opportunity to badmouth his bride, I mean? By the time he started his mournful monologue about lies and truth and trust and marriage, I was about ready to slap him upside his head with a satisfyingly solid something. Talk about the skillet taking pot shots at the frying pan! Because for Jack, truth is the exception rather than the rule. He's rarely able to part his lips without a convoluted lie rushing through his clenched teeth. And to squirt the icing on the cake, after painstakingly positioning his face into that look of affronted outrage, he unblinkingly lied through his teeth about where he was really going. Yeah, Jack might be right to fear for the future of his marriage, because given his all-consuming hatred, Victor is the only relationship he has time for. It's really too bad the scribes can think of little else to do with the Jack character other than send him into yet another round of recycled revenge. Because I remember when he used to be a much more multi-faceted man, with a sometimes soft heart and endearing vulnerability, but now he's just nasty and mostly unlikable.

As for Jack's current cohort, Adam, if he thought he was in hot liquid up to his neck before, by grabbing a handful of Jack's coattails, he's likely to find himself floundering underwater. Not that I guess he has a whole lot left to lose, considering his daddy donor has already stripped him of his career, his home and his name. The only thing he couldn't snatch back from Adam is his mother. Speaking of Hope, when does she get to make a ghostly appearance? Heck, if ever someone needed a visit from the hereafter, it's Victor's vindictive behind. It would make my day to hear Hope rip Victor up one side and down the other, in her nice, gentle way, of course. Instead of Hope, though, we get stuck with more sightings of John Abbott, whose sole purpose is to cram another handful of Gloria's supposed sterling qualities down all our gullets.

And yes, I know Adam brought some of this sorrow upon himself, but maybe it's only me who fails to feel his crimes warrant this level of punishment. Everybody wants to get in on the act. Victor, who apparently wants to pretend the crucial night of conception never took place, not only kicked him out of Newman, both business-wise and personally, but seemingly wants to ensure he never works again. Nick wants to break him in half. And Nikki, the woman who has never gotten an important position because she was qualified, but because some friend or family member handed her a sympathy executive spot to give her a reason to rise in the morning, had the gall to throw in her worthless two cents to keep Adam out of Jabot. Once again, like a damn feral feline, Miss Snooty-tooty Nikki has landed safely on her four grubby paws. From Jabot CEO to RSM Editor in chief, it seems there's no job this woman can't learn how to excel at. But, back to Adam. My hope for him is that he comes to his senses and distances himself from Jack before it's too late.

Way to continue to be a back-bone free, easily manipulated boob, Cane! It's not enough he gave up the woman he loves for a cheap, crazy trick like Chloe, even marrying the strumpet 'cause Mommy told him to. Then Gramma Kay steps into the fray. Gullible grandson not handling his shotgun marriage properly, Kay calls a family meeting, minus Esther, of course. Because Kay might be paying her, but obviously shares Chloe's opinion of Esther as beneath them all. And like a child with no mind of his own, Cane pretty much rolled over and agreed to continue playing dead above the neck. And his inability to stand on his own two feet like a man with a working brain isn't just restricted to family matters. He's no more decisive at the office either, as Kay nonchalantly swatted aside his decision to hire Adam like Cane's no more than a pesky fly. My hope for Cane? That he grows a set . . . a backbone, I mean.

Over at the Newman ranch, Comedy Central continues. Victor is in complete seclusion; banning all visitors, then suddenly admits Katherine. Who has nothing to say that hasn't already been shouted through the window by others. And speaking of that broken window, how is that house not literally infested by every flying, crawling insect on the grounds? Victor has ordered the car? Where is he going and who is going to take him there? He fired everybody, so does that duty fall to a member of his security team? Does his sudden decision to re-enter the world, even if only temporarily, have anything to do with those accident scene photos Jack sent in by way of security, hoping to lure him outside the security-manned doors? What did Jack hope to accomplish by those anyway? Did he really expect Victor to come racing out and start swinging wildly at him? Did he expect a torrent of tears?

From Comedy Central to Bimbos Are Us. Yes, that would be Colleen dropping her dress and the rest of whatever she was wearing that day. After years of Lily confiding all the intimate details of their relationship, Colleen knows her prey quite well, and knew Daniel would never be able to resist a near naked nymph flaunting all her assets before his eyes. And to think I used to grumble and groan about Colleen's saccharine sweetness. Guess I should have been careful, because I'd take that old incarnation of Colleen over this nasty thing any day. With her razor topped tongue and big mouth always twisted into a sneering pout, she's the kind of girl I'd love to see dumped unceremoniously on her derriere. I thought I disliked this tart when she was with Adrian, but I was wrong. This is dislike! And frequent association with Colleen has also made me dislike Daniel too. Him and his mixed messages. It almost makes me want him to be stuck with sour faced Colleen. Like her unlikable Daddy Brad and scheming Uncle Jack, Colleen has become so one note and inwardly ugly, there's little left to like or root for.

So, Billy or Liam, as he's called these days, has finally returned. Looking remarkably, I might add, like his Uncle Jack. While I'm glad Liam is real, and not a figment of Amber's imagination, it's a good thing she's already in love with Daniel, because I don't hold out much hope for a future for her with Liam. Unfortunately, with the lack of available ladies in GC, it might mean Liam will eventually turn his attention to Lily. And though I would likely find it highly enjoyable to watch mush for brains Cane squirming in jealousy, Lily's had enough losers in her life, she definitely doesn't deserve another.

And then there are the bickering Bardwell/Baldwins. Watching them, especially Gloria and the Lowell River, it took all that I had to keep my finger from repeated and frenzied pressing of the FF button. I did not buy into their 40 plus-year old love affair one iota. Truthfully, I found Lowell completely annoying and just wanted the goofy acting man off my screen. Who is the woman he was talking about anyway? Surely not the woman we've come to know and if not love, then at least tolerate. I swear, her past has been so heavily edited, it's as if I'm hearing about an entirely different woman. As for Lowell, I'm trying to give him a chance, but right now I don't care about him, nor do I give a hoot about his long-ago relationship with Gloria or Michael. I presume his reason for coming to town is to be the monkey wrench in Gloria's marriage, but there is already so much going on there with the two Bardwells taking knives out of the kitchen drawer to plunge in each other's backs, they hardly need Lowell's gratuitous presence to complicate things any further. I also presume Lowell will provide the basis for a storyline for Michael, but after all this time, it's a little hard to give a heck that his father was a flake. At least by the time he leaves the City, it will likely be as a no longer wanted man once Michael has waved his magic courtroom wand and proven his father innocent.

In keeping with the rule that the Bardwell/Baldwins must be smarter than everyone else, Jack seems about ready to act on Gloria's lie that Katherine has sold her some of her shares. And for swallowing this bald-faced falsehood without so much as a telltale flicker of an eyelash, Jack deserves a good swift boot in his behind. Because he, of all people, should know Kay is a hardheaded businesswoman, not typically given to sentimental displays of stupidity, like selling shares that would eliminate her majority stockholder advantage. Has he forgotten how Kay bought back Jabot from him as a fraction of its worth? When will these people learn to do their homework and stop leaping off the top burning buildings before checking to make sure the firemen have their safety nets set up below? This whole take back Jabot scenario is a pitfall filled nightmare waiting to unfold right before Jack's horrified eyes. Jeff and Gloria will be too busy stabbing at each other for either to have time to CEO Jabot, and Jack is still banned from any real authority. So, who is left? Is it possible Ashley could wind up the head figurehead in charge?

Neil and Karen. Will the third time be the charm for these two? With the departure of house guests/family members Tyra and Ana, Neil is rattling around the Winters' abode all by his lonesome. So what does he do? Pretend he hasn't been treating Karen like some in the way third wheel for months and suddenly remembers she's the next best thing to sliced bread? Bread that he's now decided he wants back in his kitchen. Well, he might be hoodwinking Karen, but I'm not getting drawn in this time. Because every time Neil gets close to Karen, some woman comes along and takes Neil's focus from her. And we all know who will soon be returning to town. Yes, former sis-in-law and one time lover, Olivia. And if not her, I know I'm not the only fan who probably didn't greet the rumor that said previously mentioned kinfolk might also be making a return visit.

Of course If Neil is still infatuated with Karen when Olivia arrives, I guess there's always Brad. It could be that Olivia still harbors a few fond feelings for Brad. If not, perhaps she can be that supportive sister-friend that hopefully Sharon no longer wants to be. Could you believe Brad calls Sharon when the Feds arrested him? Where the heck did that come from? Those two haven't been close in forever and it seemed more than a little contrived to this fan. Maybe Brad can be paired with Ashley. I know she committed a practically unpardonable sin when she let it be known that she still craved Victor while married to Brad, but a whole lot of muddy water has flowed beneath that bridge. I always rather liked them together and it would be nice to see Brad displayed in a more favorable light for a change. An all-bad Brad leaves a lot to be desired.

Finally, before I take off, I have to spend a moment on that art show. As you might imagine, it was necessary to fling several handfuls of belief suspension at this one so I didn't laugh myself sick. Like other fans, I wasn't overly impressed with those pencil sketches of Amber I could barely make out, and as for the one of Colleen I just wished I could reach through the s screen and rip it to pieces. But all the belief suspension in my bag wouldn't be enough to convince me a real live New York gallery would risk showing these. I guess Sabrina had a lot more clout than any of us knew. But it was an excellent way to bring Billy into the Genoa City fold, since all of the pertinent parties was in attendance. I'm looking forward to seeing what mischief he will bring to the table when it comes to the lives of Cane, Lily and the Bardwell/Baldwin parts of the family.

So, I'm off, sure to have missed saying something about some important GC person, place or thing, but I'll leave it to you fans to cover a few areas I might not have. Until next week, my fellow Genoa Citian addicts.

* * * * * * *


Jane - Re the Chloe/Cane thing - Okay, here we go again. The same storyline was in Guiding Light! The slut/girl that wanted the guy no matter the cost gets inseminated, thinks she is pregnant. Then has sex with a black man, and when the baby comes out, is a beautiful light brown. Any reason why we have to have the same story in every show? Any original ideas out there? Geez! I can watch one show and get the storylines for all of them, I guess.

Josephine - I really dislike the Chloe character. The writers are making a big mistake. The storyline is not real. When is Cane going to wake up and Kay find out the baby does not belong to Cane? Just like Amber was uncovered, Chloe should be uncovered as well and the baby should go to child protective services like in real life. Unless you're trying to write another Nina and Phillip storyline from 20 years ago.

Marie - Remember when Jack went to see Nikki about having Victor declared incompetent to freeze his assets? Victor's behavior is unstable. Maybe the meds are not working like they should. Also, Victor's health condition is not known outside his family and certain people. It would be bad for Victor's company. Jack used his illness before why not use again with Adam? The will and the letter said one thing but when Victor returned he showed the opposite. Neil & Michael were careful to fill Victor in only on what Adam did but not what his family did. With Heather wondering what happened in Mexico, Victor's bizarre behavior could come into play.

June - Hasn't anybody even thought about how ridiculous it is that Cane who is passed out would even be able to perform, never mind get someone pregnant? Where are all the missing people on Y&R? What ever became of Sharon's mother? I would have thought she'd have been around for many of Sharon's disappointments and happy occasions. And what about Jill's other mother? I guess they were both left in the desert somewhere.

Silvi - I read there has been a lot of turmoil behind the scenes at Y&R. Boy, does it show! I thought Maria Bell was doing a great job as head writer, then read Hogan Sheffer was stepping in, and the show immediately changed course and became a confused mess again. First Sabrina goes, then we get Devon's hitherto unknown Aunt and cousin/sister. Every damn day! Now they're gone - hopefully for good. Only to be replaced by another character we have no knowledge of, or interest in: the annoying River. Why? Does the new writer really have to put his personal stamp on the show by introducing people we have no interest in, and who have such ridiculous storylines? Hey, I'm a hippie; I was at Woodstock; I lived at an Ashram. Nobody cares! Please just give us back our show. Dump all these boring new additions, and get Victor a decent storyline and out of that house/cave before he threatens to leave the show again.

Janet - Adam got what he deserved. When Adam moved to the ranch and worked at Newman's he was supposed to learn something from his father. When Victor was missing and presumed dead, what did Adam do? Declare his father dead and get a death certificate, not because he was grieving, but in order to get his hands on the company. What did he do with the letter his father wrote to him? He threw it away. Adam showed no love. No matter how he was raised, he was raised with Victor's money. Don't you think Victor left Hope a good settlement? Nick and Vicky did not have it easy living with Victor when they were growing up either. They had to continually prove themselves. They had to work hard for everything they got from Victor. Yet they showed more caring for their father when he went missing. I used to like Cane but the man proves to be a wimp of the worst order. I hate how the writers are once again sticking it to Lily. There was some chemistry between Cane and Lily that felt good. Fans like me were enjoying the mush, yes, mush. It felt good and showed some real honest emotions and what did they do, destroy it with a plotline that has been overdone in so many other soaps. I am fed up with the way these writers are destroying a soap that was once worth watching. They have no imagination. They just copy what has been done before. I think we are missing old style writers, who would think and use creativity to keep fans coming back. In today's world of soap, everything must be instant this. I think we (as people) have become too callous and cynical. I have watched Y&R from its inception. Now that I'm retired, I thought it would be there for me in my almost old age, LOL, but it is disappointing.

June - Can someone please give Amber a new phone? That phone is so outdated with the horrible rhinestone cover; it's practically as big as her head. I wish Sharon would find out all of the truly evil and devious things that Jack is doing to get back at Victor. The latest thing with the pictures of Sabrina was just disgusting. How would he like it if someone took pictures of his father on his deathbed and plastered them all over the cover of a magazine? All he does is apologize to her and look pitiful but then just forgets about hurting others just so he can get back at Victor. I did not see anything wrong with the letter Sharon wrote to Nick. Phyllis and Jack don't know that the letter was in part a response to Nick's accusations to her that she had changed and was just Jack's puppet and agreed with everything he says and does. Nick didn't own up to that when he talked to Phyllis. I think it was great leap for Phyllis to wonder if the letter indicated that there was more to the letter and their relationship other than looking out for what's best for Noah. I guess if you were the other woman who stole someone's husband you would be a little paranoid. Adam should think about his mother Hope, how would she feel about his vindictiveness? Granted Victor has cut him off, but Nick tried to tell him if you cross Victor you will pay. Adam was trying so hard to show Victor cared more about him them Nick or Victoria, but they knew it was just a matter of time. Hopefully now that Billy Abbott is back on the scene this whole Chloe and Cane Baby sl will go away soon! Now she is going to make a deal with the doctor? Can doctors lie to the father just because the mother wants him to? Can we say unethical?

Catherina - I truly believe Adam will be redeemed and that Victor (when he is feeling better), will see the other side of the story. I can't take Nick and his I will break you attitude anymore. And don't even get me started on Victoria. I have never felt so bad for another character on this show, as I have felt for Adam. I hope things get better soon.

Gary - Tired of Jack going after Victor all the time. That storyline is old. Time for Jack to grow up and quit blaming his failures on Victor all the time. It was okay for him to screw Nick? Jack got the price he was asking for, inflated as it was, so what's he bitching about? Getting old, old, old.

Cheryl - The writers could have had a great storyline by letting Cane and Lily get married, and then dealing with the nasty little Chloe. But instead, they gave one brain to Cane, Lily, Jill, and Katherine to share, who all so easily bought into Chloe's lies and manipulations. Let's get the ring off of Chloe's finger, and have Cane buy Lily her own, new, big rock and have a fabulous wedding like GC hasn't seen in ages. The Fisher felons continue on in the lap of luxury. Why are Gloria and Jeffery still living at the mansion? They should buy their own zip code; maybe one at the local jail might be good for awhile. The iron bars might make them think twice before they tried to lengthen their rap sheet anymore. Don't the writers realize fans remember Kevin tried to murder Colleen and Gloria was responsible for a woman's death from the cream she tainted? Nikki goes out to try to comfort and reason with Victor. What part of I would rather that it was your toe that the tag is on in the morgue doesn't she understand? Jack is just disgusting. He doesn't care who he hurts. Writers, bring some class back to the show. It's getting trashy. Complete misery encompasses GC. Conflict is interesting, but this blanket rage, hate, fighting and backstabbing is getting really old.

Wanda - OMG! That outfit Daniel wore to his art (I question those sketches as being called art) opening in NYC, was the ugliest mess of stuff I have ever seen. What were the wardrobe people thinking? So, Nikki has a good idea to resolve the standoff with Nick and Phyllis and that makes her qualified to be Editor-in-Chief at RS. I guess she is as qualified as Cane, Who's the Daddy Ashby, is to be CEO at Jabot though. Do the new writers think we are total idiots or what? I hate what they have done to Victor. Sharon should surprise everyone and go after Brad again instead of Nick. I know it is just a matter of time before she and Smilin' Jack are history.

Heather - If current storylines are the work of Hogan Sheffer, then I'm not impressed. There's so much weird stuff coming from nowhere. For example, why is everyone suddenly so convinced Victor was up to something in Mexico? He was grieving and wanted to get away. Since he's still behaving that way in GC, I don't see why that's so hard for anyone to believe. Maybe he really was up to something down there, but the writers have not effectively written it so people would know that. Hogan Sheffer has ruined other soaps I used to love, and now it seems Y&R is also in danger.

Eve - You know, it would be nice if just once, when a long-lost sibling or young GC sprout shows up, it's someone likeable. Billiam doesn't appear to have changed much for the better since he's been gone to Hong Kong. He was a smirking sore loser the first time, and that doesn't seem to have changed: he and Adam might as well be twins. What is it with our scribes? What grudge have they got against the younger generation that every single one of them (except, of course, St. Lily and the Blessed Devon) are mean-spirited, randy, untrustworthy, greedy, grudge-holding little twerps? And I mean from the get-go, so that you don't even have time to learn to root for them before they undergo the Jekyll/Hyde transformation that, for example, Colleen has undergone. I'm dreading to think what Michael's sister will be like. But not to worry, no matter if she outrivals Amber in sluttish behavior, or Chloe in obsessive scheming, or (you get the picture), there's a guy for her.

Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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