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 Two Scoops: November 30, 2009 columns
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Michael Graziadei
To be or not to be...thankful
by Nita
For the Week of November 30, 2009
Thanksgiving is a day for people to give thanks for the wonderful blessings in their lives, but what do the residents of Genoa City have to be thankful for?
Thanksgiving. The day set aside for all of us real people to give thanks for the many wonderful blessings in our lives. And as it is for us, so it should be for our favorite Genoa City fictional folks.

Into their lives, a little rain has occasionally fallen. For some, the moisture has been a mere sprinkle or splash, not enough to arouse so much as an atom of apprehension that their bright and sunny future could suddenly turn dark. For others, however, a diabolical scribe might pencil in dark clouds and booming thunder, scrawl jagged forks of lightning over their joy, and scribble sheets of torrential rain to wash away their hopes and drown their dreams.

What then might such unfortunate folks find to be thankful for?

Well, for several Genoa Citians (like Jack, Daniel, Amber, and Sharon) I suppose they could be thankful for bad luck. Because without it, they would have no luck at all. For example, almost as far back as I can remember, Jack has tried mightily to right his long ago wrong decision to place Jabot stock on the public market. Yet, though he's tried every trick in the book, Jabot remains far out of his desperate reach. Jack might also want to be thankful for the capricious bow of Cupid which sent an arrow winging straight toward Dr. P. Finally, a woman who isn't using Jack as a substitute for the man she really wants.

Daniel might want to give a couple of heartfelt thank yous for the DNA that made him Phyllis' son. Because it's entitled him to a lifetime of free legal services from her best boy, Michael. And as the apparent poster boy for the wrongfully accused, Michael's definitely a valuable perk to have.

Amber is thankful that certain men find her so desirable, they're willing to lose their lives and/or their fortunes for a chance to bask in her hot and steamy umm embrace.

Sharon. I'm guessing she thanks the Goddess of Locks every morning for the fact that straight hair is still in. Sort of. Although judging by multiple message board comments, many fans would be thankful if she'd pop over to Wal-mart and buy herself some Bump-Its, a curling iron, or at least a headband. Just kidding. Face-hiding hair notwithstanding, I wish I looked so good! Oh yeah, and while she's in the store, perhaps she should check out the aisle where they sell a clue. Because when it comes to not getting herself entangled with untrustworthy men, she hasn't got a single one.

As for me, I would be thankful if the scribes would stop trying to make Sharon a Brooke Logan clone (from The Bold and the Beautiful, for those who don't know). Is it really necessary that she sample every Newman and Abbott male? I know the pickings are slim in this town, but come on. Put on the brakes, please. What next, scribes? Are you going to pair her up with the brothers Fisher and Baldwin? I was also thankful she finally got to stand on her own two feet, unassisted by a man. Unfortunately, since they only let her stand alone for about two minutes, I didn't really get to enjoy the feeling.

Noah is probably thanking his lucky stars daily that so far he hasn't exhibited any of the more non-desirable Newman family traits. Like multiple marriages, serial cheating, blackouts, kleptomania, and the like. Oh yeah, and he hasn't shown any tendencies to gaslight a friend or imprison an enemy. Of course, any thanks he's giving are probably premature. After all, he is only 16-ish. And since he's already following in his father's footsteps by falling in love with his high school sweetheart, I guess only time will tell if he's his father's son, or a Newman man unlike the others.

Phyllis should spend a little time on her knees nightly, being eternally thankful to the makers of whitewash, without which her sins would still be clearly visible and held against her. She also should be thankful for whatever the men around her are smoking that makes them not only forgive her for any of her wrongdoing, but wind up insisting they're the ones at fault in the first place. Yes, she did sleep with Jack after Nick left her. Let's see, I think he'd been gone what, about 15 minutes? Lucky he didn't forget something and turn around. Then Mary Jane's wouldn't have been the only shocked eyes staring through that window.

If she knew about it, Ashley might want to express her gratitude to Adam for his vicious gaslighting. Otherwise, she might still be an insane woman unhappily married to Victor, instead of raising someone else's baby in the luxurious surroundings of the Newman family home.

As for Adam, I bet he's thankful that though everyone around him has 20/20 vision, all are blinder than he. He also has to be eternally grateful that apparently he wasn't saddled with the cumbersome and unnecessary burden of a real conscience. No, Adam, an occasional grimace of regret is not remorse.

Victor is thankful an agreement was reached with those who write the checks so he could be around to torment his fellow Genoa Citians far into the future. Or at least for the next 13 weeks. For her part, Nikki gives thanks for Victor, because without him, apparently she wouldn't have a life or love. Lucky for her, since the bright light of truth has revealed all Victor's faults, her only remaining competition for the Black Knight's heart, Ashley, has no further interest in becoming Mrs. Victor Newman. I know, we've heard that before.

Nick is very thankful for his father's frequent need to go off somewhere and find himself, or heal himself, or do whatever he does with himself that he apparently can't do within the city limits of his home town. Because it gives Nick a chance to be the Ringmaster of the Newman Enterprises circus. Nick's also thankful for the Goddess of Looks, who made his outer wrapping so attractive that certain women will not only swallow his distasteful serial cheating without making that nasty medicine face, but practically fall down on their knees and beg him to stay. And then have sex with him.

Neil wakes up each morning and does a little jig of thankful joy that as one of Chancellor Industries' head honchos, he can make his own shadow now, instead of having to shamble along inside Victor's. And he likely has more disposable income, too, since he no longer pays extra to remove the dirt of multiple Newman feet from the backs of his doormat (Read: designer duds). And lastly, he is grateful for Lily, because without her, he, Devon, and Roxanne would reside mostly in storyline Siberia.

Lily will be thankful when her cancer goes into remission so she can finally snatch off those hot wool hats. They look so itchy, that every time I see her, I start scratching my scalp. I know it's almost winter now, but come on, would anyone really wear headgear like that inside?! Besides, for someone whose head is supposedly bald, what the heck are all those lumps we can plainly see?

Cane and Victor are thankful for closed captioning, because otherwise we fans would never know what the heck they were saying.

Lauren and Michael. They're thankful they are one of the few long-time married couples who have never sought sex beyond their marital borders. Not that they have time for affairs with all those criminally inclined family members to contend with. Gloria is thankful for her two gullible and easily manipulated sons, while husband Jeff marvels at the good fortune that led him to the one town containing a mate who is his mirror image, only female.

When Murphy looks back at his life before Kay, he finds he has much to be thankful for. His days used to be spent sitting at the diner re-reading the same coffee-spotted newspaper articles. While his nighttime pursuits were primetime dramas and tasteless TV dinners. Now, his days are dizzyingly exciting and completely unpredictable. He might be ducking flying chunks of cake, refereeing family squabbles, attending impromptu weddings, putting on festivals, participating in hospital vigils, and anything and everything else. Finally, someone who can give us a firsthand account of how the other half really lives.

Kay is thankful she's no longer an almost forgotten relic on the storyline back burner, whose highlight of the day used to be selecting her jewelry or being somebody else's soft shoulder to cry on. Now she's the mover and shaker that she should have been, with her ringed talons stuck in every piece of the Chancellor and Jabot pie.

Like Phyllis, Chloe is counting her blessings that whitewash has hidden all her sins. With adorable Delia or one of her two equally personable siblings, a new man who obviously adores a woman with a tongue sharp enough to make a razor seem dull, and full and complete acceptance by all those she has wronged, she's come a very long way from whatever nameless boarding school Kay paid for her to attend.

Mac was thankful Billy seemed to have no interest in a woman with an ever-ready smile and a bubbly personality. But now that her surrogacy decision has temporarily separated them, I guess she's just thankful she's making a difference in the world, or at least for two people in one little town.

I don't know what Billy should be thankful for. That with all his sexual slinking around, he hasn't picked up a communicable disease, perhaps?

Jill gives thanks that she gets the Chancellor Daughter benefits without the bloodline.

I'm thankful that Eden doesn't have a very large part to play because that voice makes me long for the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard. Sorry, I had to say it. Hopefully she's talking that way on purpose.

Patty is thankful her hair grows so slowly because anyone else would have two inches of dark roots by now. It's a good thing she's already crazy, otherwise the sight of that straw-like mop every day might be enough to drive her around the bend. Oh that's right. There are no mirrors in a padded cell. Scissors, uninvited visitors who attack the patients, but no mirrors.

Kevin should be thankful he doesn't have to depend on his gut to lead him in the right direction. Otherwise he'd be forever lost. Until he at least harbors a suspicion or two that Ryder might not be who he seems, I'm just going to refer to him as Clueless II.

And on a more serious note, after reading an excerpt from his book, Forgiving Troy, I know that Thom Bierdz (Phillip Chancellor) has had much to live with and, in spite of it, has managed to find many reasons to be thankful. Thanks to fan Doug (below) whose email sent me in search of it. I have a friend who frequently says, "you never know what a person might be going through." Reading part of Thom's story, that was never more apparent. Sure makes my piddly problems pale in comparison. My prayers are with you, Thom.

Me, I'm thankful for all the usual things, like family, friends, and a job I enjoy. But I am also heartily thankful that I have no family members, male or female, who have even the tiniest interest in tasting anyone I've already sampled. I'm also grateful that when I crave crazy, I can simply tune in to The Young and the Restless to fulfill my addiction. Because, thank goodness, I have no real-world crazed counterparts like Patty, Phyllis, Gloria, Ryder, Daisy, or Sheila (in any of her incarnations) in my life.

And finally, I and everyone else here at soapcentral.com, are thankful for fans like you who keep coming back to read what we have to offer. Thanks from all of us to all of you who spend some of your valuable time hanging out with us. We're thankful for your comments and we're grateful for you. Because without you, Y&R and our site would soon be a thing of the past.

And now, some opinions from the email bag from fans not the least bit thankful for Adam, among other things. Enjoy!



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Roz - Just let me know when the real writers of Y&R are back from vacation. The current writers must be from another planet. Adam's storyline is just too silly, even for a soap. What an insult to the blind people in the world. With the holier than thou role Phyllis has, well, let's just say my stomach turns every time she appears. So sad to see what once was the top of the line daytime drama fall hard from grace.

Carole - I want some interesting, exciting, thought-provoking, and yes, non-insulting storylines. The characters are shallow and yes, stupid! The storylines are unbelievable even for soap opera fans, drag on longer than the 100-year war and are as boring as watching water boil. A woman who doesn't even know she lost a baby is going to run a company? I won't buy any stock in that company, thanks. Airhead Sharon throwing herself on the sacrificial fire by sending her love back into the arms of the witch who broke them up in the first place. One brain cell working Nick doesn't know he is being manipulated by his current wife who pulls everyone's strings. Stop killing and switching the children and move on already. Here's a thought. Let's do something that actually makes the viewers feel good for a while. Put Phyllis in with Patty. Put Adam in an adjoining cell. Get Nick and Sharon and their baby Faith together and have them send Phyllis a 'family' picture Christmas Card.

l.michele - What used to take me 45 minutes to watch has now turned into 20 because they give me people I don't care about. Even the veterans are making my eyes roll, and it is not in a good way. I used to like Phyllis and champion her relationship with Nick. Now I am waiting for the day Nick leaves her and returns to Sharon. What might throw those two back together, Adam's manipulation or the baby? The teen crowd, Kevin and his crew, including Jeff and Glo, make my head hurt. Also where are the black people? No offense, but I hate the Lily has cancer storyline, not because it is sad, but because it is terrible. This show misses opportunity after opportunity for making it even better.

Angie - Writers what are you thinking? In 20+ years, this is the first time I have considered not watching anymore. I've had it up to here with the pairing of Adam and Sharon which, in a word, is sickening. There is nothing enjoyable about watching Adam go on for months pretending and playing up to Sharon like he is some great guy, just to get back at Nick. What he did is appalling and true Y&R fans don't like it. The only thing I am looking forward to is Sharon being reunited with her child and hopefully Nick and Sharon finding happiness together. Sharon has suffered enough. Let this madness end!

Doug - I just read some articles about Thom Bierdz and was so shocked and saddened for all the horrible stuff he's gone through. To have his brother kill his mom and then his other brother commit suicide. The poor guy. I know that he was happy about coming back to the show and having them write his character as gay. I really hope he is coming back!



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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.
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