Hammocks and beatings and stock options - oh my!
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AMC Two Scoops: Hammocks and beatings and stock options - oh my!
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The week of December 12, 2005
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The week started out with Kendall taking a peaceful little nap - too bad she was hanging in a hammock suspended from the Fusion building!

The week started out with Kendall taking a peaceful little nap - too bad she was hanging in a hammock suspended from the Fusion building! I have been watching soaps all my life, and this has got to be one of the most bizarre and convoluted murder attempts I've ever seen. There are a lot of theories as to who managed to drag Mrs. Slater up those stairs, and heave her albeit tiny body into that hammock - Jonathan, Janet, Erin, Ethan, even Sam or a back-from-the-dead Braden - but that wasn't as important to me as the fact that Mr. Slater was the one who saved his wife. I loved how Kendall thought of Zach's words to her when she was focusing on those stars.

For a moment there, before Ethan barged in on the Slaters' post-rescue pow-wow, it looked like Kendall was ready to tell her hubby how she felt about him. But she reverted to the bitterest version of herself when she saw what Zach had left for her - divorce papers. Now, I love Kendall as much as the next viewer (maybe more!), but when you throw a man's heartfelt declaration of love back in his face, tell him he disgusts you, and demand a divorce on more than one occasion, you shouldn't be surprised when he actually hands you the papers. Come on, Kendall! Wake up!

One Good Punch

Of course, Zach wasn't around to see his wife's reaction, because he had run off to find the person he thought tried to kill her - good old Jonathan "They Cut The Bad Out" Lavery. I don't know about any of you, but I had been waiting for someone to pop this particular Lavery sibling for a long time. It is literally the least he deserves after killing three people and terrorizing countless others. In this particular case, however, I don't think Jonathan's the guilty party. I hope I'm wrong, but I think AMC is committed to redeeming this character. Want evidence? The teasing of a potential romance (ick!) between Jonathan and Lily this week is exhibit number one. Lily is arguably the most universally loved character on the show right now - what better way to redeem JonnyBoy than to have he and Lily fall for each other?

Elsewhere in PV, Tad agreed to let Di, who had just scored a job working for the mysterious Dr. Greg Madden, help him investigate the good doctor. It seems that in his snoopings, Tad uncovered a full dossier on the entire Martin family. So now we know that Greg has some kind of connection to both Erica and the Martin clan. Could this lend credence to the theory that Josh is actually the not-really-aborted baby of Erica Kane and Jeff Martin? Perhaps. In any case, I'm intrigued.

I'm also intrigued, if not confused, by the younger Madden's recent behaviour. When Josh was recast earlier this year, there were rumblings that the character would take on a more sinister persona. Looks like those rumblings were right on. It started with Josh's role in the Kendall/Greenlee baby reveal at Thanksgiving, and now it seems that Josh is actively trying to sabotage Erica and setting up an unsuspecting Amanda as the fall guy (or gal, if you will). His behaviour this week reminds me of a certain young woman who wormed her way into Erica's life as her assistant and proceeded to disrupt everything - could Josh be taking a cue from his "sister", Kendall? Time will tell.

And There Goes Fusion...

Speaking of my girl Kendall, she got another unpleasant surprise this week when Babe marched into the Fusion party and announced that Greenlee had given Kendall's enemy all of her stock, making Babe Kendall's new business partner. How would Binks' good friend Leo feel if he knew Greens had handed over a goldmine to the woman who stole Bianca's daughter? It really makes me skin crawl. And the fact that Babe would walk in and assert her "rights" to Kendall, who just happens to be Bess ... oh sorry, Miranda's aunt? Give me a break! The best thing about the whole situation is that Ethan gave stock to the one person at Fusion who has earned it - Simone! I really hope this brings Terri Ivens to the frontburner. With all the drama on the show these days, I need a little of Simone's comic relief!

Speaking of which, Adam and Krystal's scenes this week were a riot. Half the time I was laughing, and half the time I was cringing. Adam is a very attractive man, but something about him speaking suggestively about the stock market or a piece of fruit is at once hilarious and extremely uncomfortable. It seems that the writers are laying the groundwork for yet another love-after-marriage relationship - what is that, the third one this year? Even though I got a kick out of this week's sexual hi-jinks, I'd still prefer Adam with Brooke - as I've said before, I'd even settle for a Brooke/Krystal/Adam triangle. Julia Barr is sticking around for one more year, at least, so why not use her as more than a talk-to for the other characters? You have an incredibly valuable resource AMC - use it!

What Is It About Jabe?

And as much as I hated Babe and JR (known in some circles as "Jabe") after the Fusion reveal, I couldn't help but get sucked in to their encounter at the Pine Cone on Friday. Alexa Havins and Jacob Young have incredible chemistry together, so much so that it makes me forget (for a minute) how furious I might have been with their individual characters. JR seems genuinely confused about what he's feeling, and after Friday's episode, so does Babe. I expect that I'll change my mind about these two about a million times, but I have no doubt that I'll be entertained.

David also made an appearance this week, to confront Amanda about all of her supposed crimes against his daughter. Even though it was only for a few minutes, I loved seeing Davey in full-on Dr. Death mode. My favourite line? When David described himself as a "doctor, janitor, psycho whack-job potion master." Must be hard to fit a job title like that on a business card! Then, all of a sudden, we saw David on a gurney, apparently getting prepped for double bypass surgery! What?! Methinks I detect the hand of Janet Green on all of this - does anyone out there really think she's talking to Trevor? It's pretty clear Janet returned to La-La Land a long time ago. That's fine with me! Kate Collins is doing an amazing job bringing Janet-From-Another-Planet back to life.

"Take Me Away"

The week ended as it began, with Zach and Kendall and the dreaded "D" word. This was after Zach got a few good jabs in at the Lavery family during their little skating party: Laverys on Ice, as he put it. That was hilarious. And Zach's impression of Jonathan - "Have a n-n-nice da-aaa-ay" - had me rolling on the floor.

Was I the only one who swooned when Zach offered to make all of Kendall's problems go away? Was I the only one who giggled when Kendall asked Zach if he had a magic wand? AMC is billing the duo's island getaway as "the most romantic divorce of all time." And trust me, the beginning of the week sounds like it will be heaven for Zendall fans. By this time next week, I'm sure everything will have gone to hell again, but I'm going to try to hang on and enjoy the ride. That's the life of a soap fan - the ups and the downs, the twists and the turns. And I say, "Bring 'em on!"

See you back here in two weeks!
-- Kristine

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