Love him or hate him, Simon Frasier sure makes things interesting in Oakdale. He struck oil - "black gold," - and now he's back to put down roots in the one town where he felt at home. Poor Katie. I hope she's strong. Broke Simon was irresistible. But, rich Simon...well, let's just say the sight of him in an Armani may be Katie's undoing. (I'm guessing she didn't catch him in that killer GQ wardrobe on "LAX.") Simon, the millionaire, is going to be fun. I know Katie says she's perfectly happy with her picket-fence life, but I have a feeling watching Simon and Vienna, Carly or whichever lucky lady he hooks up will make her Emily-Munson-crazy.

The prospect of Simon bankrolling Carly has me beyond excited. Those two will be quite the duo. And the idea of him as Lucinda's business co-hort, or "corporate arm candy" has me giddy. And I'm not the only one. I've never seen the lovely ladies of our little hamlet sparkle so much, as when they share a scene with the hunky Aussie.

Now, if we can just get him reconnected with Henry, I'll be happy. Maybe Simon can give Henry a stable job, and an introduction to that saucy Vienna. Then, Simon wouldn't be the only one striking it rich.

Meanwhile: --Maddie's sexual assault storyline has potential. This could be a great tale, not just for the teens, but also Margo and Henry, if it's written well. Let's just say, I hope Henry wasn't lying when he said that he was going to start paying more attention to Maddie.

--Note to Will: Helping out your one-night stand is no way to secure your marriage. You are so going to get busted.

--Can someone give me Damian History 101, please? I didn't watch the show during his first go-round. Was he always this much of a manipulator? I got the impression he was a good guy when Lily fell for him. Was I wrong?

--Apparently Lea hasn't seen the bevy of '80s horror flicks where the young half-naked girls head to the shower. It never ends well, honey.

--Someone should remind Mike that his former wife, Jennifer, just died tragically. Did I blink and miss his bereavement period?

--It's official. Luke is the most stupid person in Oakdale. I couldn't help but laugh when he incredulously asked if he was going to be arrested, after he drove drunk, passed out and got caught. Um, yes, Luke, drunk driving tends to end up with the perpetrator in the pokey, or worse. Did he learn nothing from his last drunken endeavor, that left him in a foreign country with goons trying to carve out his organs? Geesh. I think this kid has killed one too many brain cells. He needs to find a new way to act out. I know. He could bring his boyfriend home for family dinner at Lucinda's house. That would probably send Damian, Lily and Holden into a tailspin.

--Does anyone else miss feisty Gwen? She's become so watered down, it's like she's a shadow of her former self. She consoles Maddie. She consoles Carly. She consoles Will. Someone console me! I miss gutsy Gwen.

--If Lucy is going to keep hooking up with her Aunt Lily's former lovers, maybe she should check out Simon instead of Dusty or Damian.

--Katie sold Simon's sheep farm? When did that happen? Well, I guess she was justified, considering the Hell he put her through during his last visit.

--Add this to the "As The World Turns" Drinking Game. Take a sip every time Mike punches Simon.

--Is Eve supposed to be a permanent character? If so, her introduction was somewhat lacking. Don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled that my beloved Henry is finally getting some on-screen family, which hopefully means more airtime. But frankly, she seems a little bland for a Coleman.

--Kudos to Holden for coming down hard on Luke for his immature behavior. Now that's parenting. Take a note, Damian.

Best Line of the Week: (Carly's credit card is rejected when she tries to pay for a bottle of champagne.)
Waiter: "Do you have another card?"
Carly: "No, I'm afraid they're all from the same maxed-out deck."
Waiter: "There's a cash machine in the lobby."
Carly: "Not much chance of a payoff there either."

Reader Spotlight:
Note: Thanks to all of you who've taken time to write during the last two weeks. I usually try to answer each one personally, but my mailbox was overflowing this session, and I couldn't respond to them all. However, I do read each and every one. Here's a sample of other folks' Two Scoops.

(From Two Scoops reader Fran)
"Thank you for your comments about Hal. After watching Wednesday's show I was stunned to see the tribute to Hal. After seeing it on the soap line, I couldn't believe it. I was so glad when Ben won the Emmy. He was Hal, and I'm glad they are not replacing him. I will miss him like a member of my family. Thanks, Hal for the memories."

(From Two Scoops reader Karen)
"Jennifer, FYI, as a cardiac nurse, I do have to commend the ATWT writers. You really can get cardiomyopathy from a virus that started as pneumonia and a third of the time, it will lead to death. Granted, it is a soap and its course was a lot quicker than in real life, but I give them credit for thinking of something original for once. They even did the part about a transplant and being turned down by other hospitals. Kudos ATWT."

(From Two Scoops reader Leanne)
"To the contrary on the comment that Jennifer's death minimizes the chance of Craig coming back or a storyline for Craig. Imagine the custody battle between Craig and Dusty if he ever gets sprung from the slammer! I still can't believe they killed her off like that. They've written way too many sad stories for Jennifer. At least they can't write any more."

(From Two Scoops reader Julie) "Jennifer, I love your column, and I couldn't agree with you more about the character of
Jennifer Munson. It drives me absolutely crazy the way the entire town makes her out to be a perfect saint, when she is so far from it. You don't see Lucy holding a grudge against her for practically being responsible for Bryant's death. Now it looks like everyone is blaming Lucy for Jennifer's death. Even in her final days on the show, Jennifer Munson has found a way to screw someone over. I was especially ticked by Dr. Bob's cold attitude towards Lucy. There had to be a better way to write Jen off the canvas. I still want to see Craig back. I wish we could fit that in somehow!"

(From Two Scoops reader Ronnea) "Sorry but I disagree (with you about Lucy.) I think that Lucy knew exactly what she was doing when she told Jennifer how she could get out of the hospital. Lucy knew how sick Jennifer was and just happened to mention that the only way she could leave was if she signed a special medical release stating that she had been told about the increased health risk and waived her rights to sue, should the illness become more severe. Please...She is Craig's daughter after all. I mean come on; even Meg knew enough to tell Paul they had to find Jennifer fast. Lucy got what she wanted, which is why she didn't tell her grandmother that the patient she was referring to was none other than Jennifer Munson. A truly regretful person would not have just gone off to the country club after telling her Gran that she may have "accidentally" caused a patient harm. I don't think she wanted Jen dead, but she sure as heck wanted to keep her sick long enough to have Dusty around the hospital."

(From Two Scoops reader Caroline) "This isn't really about a particular episode, it's more about a trend that ATWT seems to have picked up - that of being too unbelievable. Dusty is kidnapped by Emily and doesn't even wrinkle his clothes, after supposed weeks of captivity; Emily jumps off a cliff and suffers only a scrape; Johnny develops a rare illness and is cured overnight by an experimental treatment; Jennifer leaves the hospital with a minor cough and dies less than a day later of heart failure; Simon and Katie go overboard in a hurricane and not only survive, they end up on an uncharted island that is home to a luxury resort; Carly and Jack experience the most boring break up and you-know-it's-going-to-happen reconciliation in soap opera history; and, of course, Dusty's going to make sure Emily doesn't spend a day in prison. Roger Howarth deserves a special Emmy for having to work with the most stupid excuse ever, keeping Jen in the dark about Johnny so she doesn't have to deal with Craig in 15 or 20 years. I know it's make believe but have the writers just decided they can't come up with anything new so they've just stopped trying?"

Jennifer Biller