Sing it with me, Scoopers, "Gloom, despair, and agony on me. Deep dark depression, excessive misery." That pretty much summed up the show this week, as everyone in Oakdale seemed to be just this side of requiring an anti-depressant or a reality check. Put me down for a big dose of Zoloft. If ever there was a week when we needed some hilarious antics from Henry or Brad, this was it. Sadly, they were nowhere in sight.

First, there was Margo, lying to her husband and everyone else, by concealing the fact that "Riley" is Adam. Then, the Craig I know and love seemed to have been replaced by a love struck "yes" man, so awestruck by Carly that he's ignoring the fact that she's a drunk. He's deceiving her family and himself. Then, there was Casey, who is depressed and angry that his brother is alive. (Hello! Adam is alive! Casey should be shouting from the rafters.) Then, poor Hunter wanted to poke out his eyes, after realizing he was making out with his biological sister, but settled for leaving town. Sage also asked to get on a bus to go to camp to avoid her mother's wedding. And Carly had a complete meltdown screaming at Sage. Rosanna was just confused as to why Carly was acting so strange and hiding vodka in the spice cabinet, but decided to bake chicken to make things better. Then, Noah was torn between the law and his father, but eventually turned Col. Mayer in to the police. And Damian and Dusty fought like rabid dogs over Meg, much to Paul's enjoyment. Talk about drama and despair.

I get that this is a soap, and its very existence depends on dramatic storylines. But I have to ask the show honchos, please, please, please remember to balance the drama with some lighthearted storytelling, too. It's the week of July 4. Would it have killed someone to don a silly apron and cook a burger? What I would have given to see someone having a family barbeque. The Snyder clan (Holden, Lily, Jack, Janet, Brad, Katie, etc.) could have assembled for a red, white and blue-themed party that would have gotten everyone together. (Do Katie and Brad ever even visit the farm?) The bottom line is that we watch this show and the families in Oakdale to see their celebrations, trials, and tribulations on a daily basis. These fictional families give us comfort and water-cooler conversations. This week, all they gave me was the desire to shut off the TV in search of some fun. (And yes, a burger.)

Meanwhile:
• --You know there are going to be problems when a bride refers to her upcoming wedding planning as "ripping off a Band-Aid." Craig is so in love that he's apparently oblivious to the fact that Carly isn't Carly and that her alcoholism is not under control. And Rosanna isn't pushing hard enough to get answers to Carly's peculiar behavior. I'm not sure what the final straw will be for Carly to get herself together. Perhaps she'll OD on alcohol, or from the looks of next week's previews, perhaps it will be Holden's luscious lips that are her undoing.

• --Paul Ryan is positively Machiavellian, and I'm enjoying it. Making Damian and Dusty think they're out to ruin one another, all the while, Paul is the one sabotaging both of them is entertaining. I can't wait until Damian and Dusty realize they've been duped. Paul, perhaps you'd better fake your death again.

• --Congratulations to Luke and Noah, who are still going strong as a couple after all these months. I'm wondering how long it takes before one of these guys is tempted by another guy, though? It is summer, the season of love triangles. These two could use some drama that doesn't include Col. Mayer and guns.

• --Rest easy, Scoopers, apparently Dallas hasn't left Oakdale, despite the fact that we haven't seen him in months. We had a verbal spotting of him this week. Tom was talking to him on the phone and used his name. Writers, this character could be a fun addition to the cast for more than just filler. Use him!

• --Not only did Adam get a new face while he was gone, he apparently had time to hit the gym, a LOT. I don't know who has bigger biceps, Adam or Casey. Regardless of the silliness of Adam's return, kudos to the show for giving Margo and Tom some interesting story to play. It's about time. Redeem Adam, and the story gets even better.

• --Did anyone else feel like they were watching an episode of 90210 this week? I felt like I was back in high school from all the fighting going on. Casey and Hunter were fighting over Alison, and Dusty and Damian were fighting over Meg. Enough!

• --Great casting on the part of Hunter. He looks exactly like Alison; they even have the same hair color. (Hmm... I'm guessing Emily really isn't a blonde.) Now, if I could just get the mental image of these two siblings kissing out of my head. Ewww!

• -- Yay! Craig visited Margo in the hospital. It was a short scene, but I'll take it. Thank you! Now, can we get more please? Craig needs something to do besides baby-sit Carly 24-7.

• --Emily is more powerful than I ever gave her credit for. She managed to get DNA results in a matter of hours. Plus, she did it while looking like she walked off the runway in that gorgeous black and red dress. Bravo, Emily.

• --Also, I guess congratulations are in order for Emily? I'm not sure what the etiquette is for finding out someone has a grown son that was manufactured in a lab. Emily wanted a child, and well, he isn't wearing diapers, but Hunter fits the bill. Maybe Emily will do better with Hunter than she has with Daniel.

• --I can't wait until Rosanna finds out about Carly's alcoholism and finally gets her claws into this storyline. It has so much potential, from Jack's wounds of dealing with an alcoholic mother, to the inevitable intervention that will no doubt produce some Emmy worthy performances for someone. Can you imagine the scenes where Rosanna, Craig, Jack and the gang confront Carly? Get out the Kleenex now.

• --Craig has always been a slick character. So, I'm a little stunned that he is so in love that he's managed to delude himself into becoming an enabler to Carly. It shows that Craig has become a little softer and apparently will do just about anything for love. I think we can all agree he needed to be softer after all his past mistakes. But, sadly, it looks like Craig is going to lose at love once again.

• --Larry is an egg-stealing scoundrel. I didn't see that one coming. I hope Larry sticks around. He sure is making things interesting for Emily, Susan and Ali.

• --This is my last complaint, I promise. Writers, Dusty and Damian are both strong, arrogant characters. Please give them something to do other than fight over damsel Meg. It makes them look like silly schoolboys instead of the strong, sexy men they are.

Best Lines of the Week:
Sorry, folks. It was slim pickings this week with the humor. This is all I've got.
(Noah is missing again, and Luke goes to Damian for answers.)
Luke: "Did you do something to put some more crazy Grimaldis on the war path?"

Reader Spotlight:
(From Two Scoops' reader Sue.)
I really like the scenes with Hunter and Allison. I was sorry to learn they were siblings (although it was getting to be quite obvious) as I thought Allison had more chemistry with Hunter (than Casey.) It would be great to find out they really weren't related.

(From Two Scoops' reader Rinter.)
Jennifer Biller was right about Bonnie/Dusty. We already saw a babe yelling at Dusty about what a thug he is; Peyton List's Lucy did it in 2004. Let me guess, like "Lusty," (Bonnie and Dusty) will fall in love through the flames of bickering. Whatever!

That's all for now Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller