Katherine Kelly Lang
On life support?
For the Week of June 27, 2005
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The week of June 27, 2005
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Every soap needs a Taylor to counter a Brooke. Two strong female characters, one armed with a halo and the other a pitchfork, each fighting over the same men throughout the years.

Yet another week has passed with five days of sitting in front of the TV wondering aloud 'Is it 1:55 yet? Is this mess over for the day?' To watch Stephanie on the verge of stroking out, I began to think that she has the right idea...better to croak than go on one more day with this 'Which Wife' story. Ok, that was crass, but someone has to say it! So this week I felt it begged the question 'If there are so many bad stories on this show, what are the GOOD things about B&B now?' Let's see if I can come up with some...there HAS to be something, right? Just call this my 'glass if half full' column...

Ok, I guess I can start with two of my favorite characters on the show that unfortunately we never see enough of, Thorne and Darla Forrester. Great couple and proof that one drunken indiscretion CAN morph into a fine union. I will always pull for them and hope we see more of them in the future. I think Thorne has all the integrity that Ridge will never have and it has been great to see him come out of the shadow of dorky and egomaniacal big brother to create a nice little design shop. Darla is not nearly as ditzy as we were led to believe and I am on record as saying that if the writers are smart, they will make Alexandria a force to be reckoned with when the time comes to SORAS her (can anyone say Victoria Newman?). Thorne also has finally found a woman that is neither a lush nor a Ridge addict to keep him warm at night and love him completely.

Ok, I am going out on a BIG limb here to say that I actually don't mind Gaby too much either. Yes, a little TOO goody-goody but not nearly as bad as Caitlin. I find her the least annoying teen, so she made the list. This immigration story they have going for her and Thomas is ok and I suppose it will lead to a stronger romance down the line (not like we can't see that coming all the way down the pike). Thomas? Well, I have liked him more these last couple of months since he sent the Trailer Queen packing back to Furnace Creek. And I have to compliment the writers for one thing...giving Thomas the you-know-whats to take a stand about this Taylor vs. Brooke nonsense. Yes, he's tremendously biased since we are talking about his mother but he could have waffled more since everyone is so busy highlighting all the 'alledged' good mothering Brooke did. However, he has stuck to his guns and stood up for his mother. Good job, kid! I only wish your father had HALF your sense!

I have to also say that I did like seeing shades of the old Brooke last week. I have not agreed with much of her shenanigans over the years, but I think I like EVEN less this vulnerable and weepy Brooke we have had to endure since she married the Wooden One. That is not the Brooke we all have watched over the years do battle with Stephanie and charge headlong into all kinds of crazy relationships. Do I agree with her 'breaking the rules' and showing up before her scheduled time (what a joke, huh?), not really but that behavior is more true to form for how the character has been portrayed over the years. It works, plain and simple. I would take ballsy over timid with her any day.

I absolutely love Taylor's return. I know, the WAY in which she came back was hokey and honestly I don't think she should have ever gone away in the first place! Every soap needs a Taylor to counter a Brooke. Two strong female characters, one armed with a halo and the other a pitchfork, each fighting over the same men throughout the years. That kind of conflict is what makes the show fun to watch and their battles polarize the fan base well. Neither ever wins the war so to speak but it sure can be fun to sit back and watch the fur fly! Taylor also has the more positive effect on Ridge (if that is possible these days) and even the slightest improprieties are even more intriguing with her because it happens less often than with Brooke. Think about it...yes, she sucked face with Eric and Thorne once upon a time (but never had sex with them), she deflowered Dr. Warrick at Big Bear, and now may have had a little tumble with Dante but that's really about it. That's not a very long resume of promiscuity, huh? But as with this current situation with Dante, there is something cool about her having a skeleton or two in her closet that involves a man THAT fine! I say to Hell with Ridge, give Dante a jingle and hook up with him! The man needs to put down the sketchpad and get busy!

I have to say I like seeing the old Stephanie come back to her true self as well. I know Brooke fans wish she would get hit by a bus but again I think it's these clashes with Brooke that not only entertain us to no end but also serve well to showcase the fantastic acting between KKL and SF. Both are great actresses and both should have their equal share of Emmy hardware on their shelves. Even though the dialogue is getting redundant and tired, I still enjoy their fights and catty swipes at each other. Stephanie's eyes bugging out and Brooke's 'screw you' squint are just classic soap TV now and it will be a shame if Susan Flannery leaves the show soon. Love her or hate her, she will be missed.

Hmmm.. what else do I like? Think Kristine, think! I like the new opening sequence! Snappy and a welcome change from the Eighties montage we have suffered through since the beginning. Ok...next.

I like that we haven't seen too much of Jackie lately. I like her better when she is just running around behind her man Mojo. And speaking of Massimo, I like him a lot. A strong and slightly ruthless patriarch in the Victor Newman mold that SHOULD have a bigger role in the stories on B&B. Portrayed by another great actor (Ronn Moss are you watching him at all?), he has a great presence and could bring so much more to the fabric of the show if allowed to be on screen more than a couple of minutes. Yet another character that has fallen victim to the Brooke & Ridge Show. I for one am hoping to see him more in the coming weeks and months.

That leaves one last good thing about B&B to examine...Nick Payne Marone! Robbed of his Emmy this year, JW has proven a better actor than most on this show and has an amazing chemistry on screen with Brooke. Too bad the writers have all but ruined that potentially wonderful pairing by her marriage to Ridge and his babysitting of Bridget. Such a shame and such a colossal waste, you know? I would love to se him return to the suave and mysterious Dominick Payne he was when he came on the show as the slapstick Elvis scenes from last week were just a little too over the top for me. A blue shiny jacket?? What's up with that?? He should be dating Bridget for a little while and getting to know her better rather than rushing around to drive-in nuptials as if her is running away from the truth. But I love him despite all the nonsense that has been written for him. He and Thorne are the only real men on this show hands down!

Speaking of Nick and Thorne, they were the big winners in last week's 'Who's The Best Daddy' poll. Both got an equal amount of votes and I found that surprising considering that poor Nick was stripped of his chance at being Hopeless' and RJ's daddy. The readers felt he was a better father figure than Ridge is now and that they would be better off with him any day of the week. I agree. As a matter of fact, I think any human life form would be better off with him compared to Ego Erectus Forrester. Awful excuse for a father and worse excuse for a husband. Curious, though, that there were no votes for Massimo, Eric, Deacon, or Hector. I guess that is sending a message, huh?

My rants for the week are many, so you better grab a cup of coffee and sit a while! First, does everyone drive around town and come back home with nothing on but a SHIRT? Did I miss that in charm school? I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw Brooke come strolling back to Deadwood Manor in nothing but sleazy pumps and Ridge's shirt! OMG!!! But, that's Brooke. Just as I said above, that is what has been expected from her character for 18 years, so... And while I am at it, and believe me I have been trying my hardest to avoid this subject for weeks now, what is going on with Taylor's lips and breasts lately? I'm not sure she has had the chest work exactly but I don't remember her being so...robust. Good Lord, it's become so distracting that I have a hard time looking at anything else when she is on screen. I know that sounds weird but oh my! HT looked great before so I am confused as to why all this was necessary at all. Why fix what ain't broke, huh? And if I had a dollar for every email in the last few weeks that has mentioned it, I could pay off my car! Message boards must be so overrun with posts about it that moderators are starting to delete them as nasty and rude. I'm not being rude, just stating that she looked fine before and she definitely doesn't need all that to look pretty. Remember Brooke's foray into collagen about a year ago? That didn't make sense then, either! They both look great...neither needs the Barbie-doll makeover.

Ok, this week's question requires you to answer with some wild and reckless abandon...what B&B character is the sexiest? My vote? Thorne, but only by a hair. Nick would come in a close second for me. Rules? Has to be a current character that is actually on the credits or newly introduced, male or female. I can't wait to read those emails!!

Who's on the Soapbox?

G. Reece writes... '...Right on!...perhaps Mr. Bell has taken his cue from the equally disgusting 'Bachelor' series...he might want to note that the 'Bachelor' ratings have seriously declined...an indicator of the future of B&B if this continues!'

Roxy writes... '...I would really like to see Ridge and Taylor get back together...they make a wonderful couple...if Ridge picks Brooke I think Thomas and the Twins should move out of the house and go live with their mother and leave 'daddy' and Brooke alone...they should cut them out of their lives completely.'

Until next week, stay in touch with your thoughts...it's the best part of my week when I hear from everybody!

Kristine Cain
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