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When Stephanie reveals that she faked her heart attack, Taylor will likely have the good sense to confront Ridge and tell him to just go back to Brooke.

The last week of B&B has proven one thing for me...there is such a thing as multiple personality disorder because for one corps of writers to take us on THIS kind of a twisting and stomach churning journey all in the span of two weeks could be blamed on nothing else. I have watched my fair share of crazy soap scenarios play out over the years but have NEVER seen a train wreck like this before. I honestly don't know where to start. I'm glad they let me have my laptop here in my padded room because I AM GOING CRAZY!!

First let me say that I feel particularly bad for the legions of Brooke fans out there that have to be beside themselves at the latest week ahead spoilers that say she begs Ridge for another chance at their marriage. How deflating to know that just when your flawed heroine is turning that critical corner to a stronger and more independent Ridge-free existence, she is painted right back into the same old tired corner that the creators of this show do not want to free her from. I think Brad Bell hates her character and wishes nothing for her beyond being the Forrester Family sex kitten. How sad. So much more could be done with her character and yet we see her keep going back to the well time after time as every man's consolation prize. Brookies, get your voodoo dolls out and get busy! Brad Bell needs to be sent a message!

So one week we have the 'Which Wife Will I Pick' show and we are all kept in a perverse limbo by our bungling and misogynist ex-playboy Ridge and this last week we are to believe he did what 'felt right'? BUT WAIT! Now he waffles again and feels he DID NOT do the 'right' thing? Back and forth, back and forth. I love her...NO, I really love her...WAIT, Mommy's not dying, so I REALLY love her! Maybe Ridge should give up on both women and just sleep with his Mommy? Hey, that's a novel idea! Why just give us a LITTLE nutty writing when you can REALLY jump into the abyss and take everyone over the edge!! Is there anyone in the nerve center of that show that sees what we all see? How could such uneven writing be so unnoticed? You can't tell me that viewers are not emailing and calling in huge numbers to express their displeasure? The B&B fan base is too big and too vocal NOT to say something! Every week we are taken down a new 180 degree shift in a storyline that really makes it hard to watch and keep up with. Examples? Try these...

One minute Ridge is trying to get it on with Taylor, then telling Brooke to chill out? Mommy show up and her mysterious heart attack causes him to quick trigger renewing vows with Taylor. Then Brooke and Bridget crawl inside his head and make him believe it was fake...then we are at Brooke's door begging for another chance not 24 hours after mattress dancing with 'Doc'. Not enough schizophrenia for you? How about Nick pledging undying and unwavering love for Bridget complete with reassurance sex every other day ONLY to jump off that bandwagon like his pants are on fire to race to Brooke's rescue while renewing his 'vow' of always being there for her. Boy, there sure are a lot of vows being exchanged these days! Now Bridget hears all this obvious love disguised as friendly devotion and blubbers herself right on over to the newly dusted off Bikini Beach Bar where the delicious Dante just HAPPENS to be stopping by for a shot of tequila and a smack on the lips from our wayward med student. Didn't we just see him saying goodbye to Taylor and packing up his sketchbook for Rome? Isn't this NUTS?? SOMEONE STOP THE MADNESS!!

Nick's character is now ripe for being made out to be a cad and a pig just as I thought he would all to make Ridge look better in some way. Nick will give Bridget some more 'I don't love your mother' sex and will somehow still be caught with his hands in the cookie jar so to speak with some kind of slip that lets everyone know how he truly feels. He is still in love with Brooke and you can take that to the bank. Their chemistry onscreen can't be denied and when they do a scene together (like Friday), Brooke is looking at him with more than just simple 'good buddy' gratitude in her eyes. I just wish there were a more dignified way for those two to be together and really put a spark back into this show. They are the kind of couple I think a lot of fans would really cheer for and tune in each week to see. But hey, who am I to say, right? Just a fan from the beginning.

It was nice to see Thorne again...for like, two minutes! Long enough to stand around and not get to complete any sentences while listening to Brooke ramble on about Ridgie. Another crying shame. I love Thorne and wish we got more of him! He should be back on the front burner to give us all a break from this Brooke-Ridge-Taylor merry-go-round we are riding everyday. Listen to me now...I sound like a broken record, too! Every week I say the same thing hoping that one of the higher-ups will read my little literary rant and take note. I think I have a better chance of winning the Powerball lottery.

So what do I see happening? It seems obvious that when Stephanie reveals to Taylor that she faked the heart attack, Taylor will likely have the good sense to confront Ridge and tell him to just go back to Brooke since he did not make the decision because he wanted to but because he had to. She may have her detractors and a skeleton or two in her closet, but she is not stupid. Ridge will be torn some more as Taylor's sacrifice will show him how wonderful she is and his kids will apply a tremendous amount of pressure on him that will result in Brooke getting fed up, too. This will set up the secret heart-to-heart with Nick about how they cannot act on their feelings lest Bridget be crushed. Meanwhile Bridget starts to doubt her relationship enough that she takes a tumble with Dante. Beyond that, I'm not really sure what may happen. The rumor mill has reported that Ronn Moss is taking some time off to tour and that absence would have to be addressed somehow. Maybe he needs more time to decide? Geez, I hope not. At this rate I'll be on Social Security before he figures out which woman he wants to ruin for the rest of her life.

What's up with Hector? We never see him yet all the Boards report he is not on recurring status...what gives? Is he just around for traffic accidents? I thought we might have a little liaison between him and Brooke there for a minute but that rug was pulled out from under us rather quickly. With Sam gone and no explanation to go with it, it all seems a bit odd. Or have we sunk down so deep in the Battle of the Forrester Wives that we have no time for any other characters? You know who I think would make a scorching couple? Hector and Bridget! Both are saintly do-gooders that can empathize with each other's professions and would look like living Barbie and Ken dolls! Now see...that's the kind of originality that is lacking in the B&B writing office now. Got my bags packed, by the way. Still looking for my itinerary, Brad.

RJ or DJ? There's a juicy rumor floating around the Net, huh? What do I think? Someone would have had to have to power to have that test show Ridge as the Daddy but who would have wanted that? Stephanie certainly would not have wanted that and neither did Jackie. So the conspiracy theories are beginning to look a little soft aside from it being yet ANOTHER mistake at the Lame-brained Laboratories that may show Nick as the real Daddy. Sure, it would pose a serious threat to Brooke and Ridge and Nick and Bridget. But again, Brooke and Nick would be put together for the wrong reason and not because they are truly in love and meant for each other as it should be. One great thing that would come about with that little twist would be Ridge being free of his obligation to Brooke. All this nonsense about 'his kids' would be academic. After all, he is just another guy Hopeless calls Daddy. Next week she will be calling the UPS man'Daddy'.

Meanwhile at Spectra Fashions, our illegal teen newlyweds are trying to enjoy their first days as man and wife when the long arm of the government comes a callin'. I don't know about any of you but are Gaby's meltdowns getting a little annoying? Between the bugged out eyes and the hyperventilating, I don't know which makes me itch worse. Get a grip, girlfriend! Your life could be worse...you are 'married' to the hot young Forrester heir with plenty of 'experience' thanks to Scamber and you don't have to worry about money either. He is the new designer at Spectra and you can just sun your buns by the pool and wait for the clearance to register for your college classes. So what's the problem? No Forrester really gets into a legal trouble anyway and with Stephanie lurking around waiting for her chance to meddle in someone else's life, you can rest assure that NOTHING will happen to those two. If she can fool an entire hospital, she can make the government believe anything she wants them to believe.

Last week's question about what Taylor has 'won' or not 'won' was a landslide...nobody though Taylor should feel like she won out over Brooke. Everybody felt as though Ridge would start waffling again and that the sick codependent carrying on his does with Brooke would stand in her way at every turn. I agree. As much as I like her character, Taylor could do A LOT better than LA's village idiot.

This week's question...how would YOU write the ending to this whole 'Which Wife' saga? How should it be put to bed once and for all? I would like to feature your responses next week in hopes that while Brad is surfing the Net he may read the column and become overwhelmed with inspiration from my readers creativity! So really stew on it and email back your perfect wrap up to all this insanity!

I have had a few requests lately to decipher some of my abbreviations I use from time to time as I know they can be a bit confusing. The two I use the most are WTD (Who's the Daddy-refers to the RJ paternity debacle) and SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome referring to how kids are born one year and two years later they are graduating from the phantom soap opera boarding school they all get sent to!). I hope this helps!

Who's on the Soapbox?

Jennie writes... '...why can't something good happen to her (Brooke)...I'm tired of goody two-shoes Taylor...I hope Ridge changes his mind or I'll stop watching the soap.' Looks like you might get your wish!

Talia writes... '...can I sit next to you on that plane ride? I ask myself at the end of the half hour...why am I even bothering?'

Until next week, stay in touch with your thoughts...it's the best part of my week when I hear from everybody!

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