Katherine Kelly Lang
Things to be thankful for
For the Week of November 21, 2005
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Eric couldn't be stupid enough to think that Brooke would spend the rest of her life married to a man that she had no intention of loving.

There is a crisp chill in the air. The leaves are piled high at the curb and my thoughts have turned to turkey, stuffing, and football. It must be one of my favorite times of the year...Thanksgiving. And my readers know that it also signals the return of my 'What I Have To Be Thankful For' column...grab a turkey leg and hang on!

I am thankful that this spectacle of a marriage between Brooke and Eric is coming to an end. Eric just couldn't be THAT stupid to think she would spend the rest of her life married to a man she had no intention of loving...in ANY way, emotionally OR physically. That ship sailed a long time ago and as a matter of fact, she never really loved him the first time...he was a Ridge stand-in. He belongs with Jackie and I have said that all along. And good Lord, every scene he begged for sex was excruciating to watch. It was sick, sleazy and downright sad. And though this will likely be fodder for those that peg me as a 'Brooke-hater', I get sick of seeing her be the Forrester family prostitute to be objectified and pawed at every turn. Her only value to any of the men on this show has been for sex and babies...that's it. Hate to be harsh but I gotta call it like it is. Would it be that hard for someone to write her character as being strong and independent. Couldn't she make SOME good decisions along the way? Her fans would be ecstatic and shouting from the rooftops. Thankfully, she'll get a little break here soon and we can only hope that doesn't involve any men. There are no more men for her to hook up with so maybe she can concentrate on being a good mom to her invisible children and an astute businesswoman that needs to figure out what direction to take her career now that Stephanie has cut her loose. Note to Brooke: keep looking into the BeLief situation...might be a good place to start! I'm smelling a rat in the henhouse there...

I am thankful that I have a 'mute' button on my TV remote so I can choose not to listen to my previous very manly Captain Payne talk like a fool to Bridget's stomach. I just couldn't take it. What happened to that character is a mystery to me but oh, how I wish he would return. Mute, mute, mute.

I am thankful that the wardrobe department has obviously run out of shirts for Dante. I have never seen a male character with so little clothing in my life! YIKES! Sad, though, that he is being relegated to vacant dialogue and stale scenes with Malibu Bridget. A waste of another heralded addition to the cast. But he is still nice to look at....hmmmmmmmm!

I am very thankful that Felicia is coming back. Anything to keep Bridget and Nick from having some kind of weird obligation-laced relationship is fine with me. She brings with her a new face (Leslie Kay is good...I liked her on ATWT) and hopefully a little Nick Jr. Rumor is that she may come back only to become sick again and die...I hope not as this show needs some new blood. Little Miss Whiner thought she had her work cut for her in competing with Mommy but now ANOTHER woman 'in the family'? This will send her over the edge and likely to the hospital. Can't say I am too sympathetic...I'm still truly disgusted at her 'abortion' lie and think she should pay dearly for it. No turkey for her!

I am thankful that I have good health insurance for my visit to the doctor for sore ribs after seeing the name of Ridge's new fashion house. I laughed so much I looked like the Joker from Batman. Destiny Designs? What kind of nonsense is that?? I'm telling you, Ronn Moss' hiatus can't come soon enough for me. Every time that man comes on the screen I take my bathroom break so I don't miss any scenes that actually mean something. Another design house by this fool is nothing this show needs. Brooke should do her OWN thing and tell him to go back and re-attach himself to Stephanie's apron strings. Mommy's lap dog is his best title these days.

All of us should be thankful that Jackie is still out there and waiting for love. With Eric trying to get back in her good graces next week, we might actually see her get a normal relationship for a change...with someone her own age. She's a good character and I am hoping we will see more of her in the upcoming storylines. It's been tough to watch her do little more than sing the tired songs to her son about Bridget and Brooke. I can stomach Eric much better with her and hope he can keep it in his pants long enough to make her happy. At least he doesn't have to beg her for sex (ewwwww!).

For all that I have been thankful for this year, there are nearly as many things lately that deserve the ever feared 'Stale Turkey Leg' award. First to receive it would be Nick for allowing himself to be the new safety-net guy for Brooke. If he is THAT committed to Bridget, he should have told Brooke to get lost when she showed up complaining about Eric's horny advances. Doesn't this all look at bit too familiar? Hasn't Ridge been doing this to Brooke FOREVER??? I have always been in favor of this pairing but if this is all it's going to be in the future, I want nothing to do with it. It cheapens both characters and shows all the creativity of a stick on the part of the writers.

Stale Turkey Leg #2 goes to Stephanie for sticking her nose into everything, including Bridget's divorce crisis. Come on...didn't you just get YOUR company back??? Go do something over there and leave everyone alone!! Dante should have enough between his legs to take matters into his own hands and convince Bridget he is the man for her. Stephanie is not exactly everyone's favorite matriarch these days anyway. Who's going to listen to her? Bridget needs to make some decisions for herself and do the right thing.

Stale Turkey Leg #3 HAS to be given to Massimo for actually having the nerve to have a contract drafted for Ridge's presidency of Forrester. Meddle, meddle, meddle. Doesn't anyone have anything better to do than run their kids' lives?? A snowball in Hell had a better chance of surviving than that contract had of being signed. Stephanie hates Brooke so much that not only will she not take t she chance Ridge would bring her back, but she also doesn't seem to trust him, period. I think she knows that Thorne is more easily led by the nose than Ridge and may think she can get more accomplished with him at the helm. Well, no matter who runs the show, the ol' Ice Queen is running the show and if she's not careful, this company right into the ground.

Stale Turkey Leg #4 is handed to the brain-trust that is the writing corps for coming up with the 'Destiny Designs' idea. Again, we are continuing to drive down the same old tired roads with all these story ideas. Hasn't someone rolled that Xerox machine out of there by now??? And how corny can these fashion house names get anyway? Destiny, huh? For all the 'destiny' Ridge and Brooke have? HA! There's a concept that brings tears of laughter to my eyes and more soreness to my ribs!!! While we are at it, how about Thorne and Darla's fashion house 'Drunken Designs'? Or maybe Eric and Jackie can start 'Elderly Elegance'? WAIT! Brooke and Nick could start the 'Forbidden Fashions' house or maybe Bridget could try her hand at design with 'Crazy Couture'? How about Thomas getting a chance to open 'Horndog's House of Rags'? Let's stop with the add-water-instant-fashion angle for a little while and concentrate on ending the stories that are putting us to sleep (Brooke-Nick-Anyone triangles and Bridget's whining and poor decisions in men). Let's wrap it up, people!!

I had an overflowing email inbox looking to skewer me for even the mere suggestion that Bridget is being primed to take over the female lead spot from Brooke. I asked the question and my goodness, the venom towards Bridget was oozing from my screen! YIKES! Ok, ok....so she is not taking that spot...yet. But I do think that is what the writers seem to be prepping for by giving her SO much screen-time lately. Do I think AJ has the acting 'chops' necessary to unseat KKL for that title...no. Speculate all you want about how I feel about Brooke's character but just try to find ONE quote where I have said she was a bad actress. You can't. She is very good in this role and should be after so many years at it. Her and Susan Flannery are the best pair of warring females in daytime and AJ could only dream to have that talent. Sorry...I just don't see it. Let's hope Brooke stays around for a long time to save us from that. I see three lead women actually...Stephanie, Brooke, and now that she has come back from the dead at least twice, I feel Taylor has earned the right to be included in that group. Yes, she is saintly to a fault but nevertheless she is the only real foil Brooke has ever had. I don't consider Stephanie as Brooke's foil...just her curse.

Question of the week: If you were Bridget, would you take Nick back or would you kick him to the curb for Mr. Italian Pecs?

I want to wish every one of my readers a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. May it be filled with lots of turkey, pumpkin pie, football, and family members asleep on the couch from eating too much!

Kristine Cain
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