Katherine Kelly Lang
What's next, Bill Gates?
For the Week of June 19, 2006
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Women have a hard enough time being taken seriously in the boardroom...then again, when your boardroom resembles a circus, like the Forrester boardroom, all bets are off.

If laughter is the best medicine then I am the healthiest person on the face of the earth. Those last scenes on Friday's show made me think of all the high-profile CEO's in the world and what they would look like if they ALL had the same business sense as Brooke Logan. I suppose, in theory, some of what she said made sense but come on...if she is THAT lost when it comes to seeing what Ridge is pulling then she needs some serious help. I'm no MBA graduate but I would think that the CEO of a lingerie company would not be the one to model everything. Sure, Brooke is in great shape but have some dignity. Women have a hard enough time being taken seriously in the boardroom...then again, when your boardroom resembles a circus like Forresters' I suppose all bets are off. Either way, I just couldn't believe what I was watching...I laughed til I peed.

Now before everyone starts slamming me for more 'Brooke-hating', let's all think about this for a minute. She hasn't gotten ANY of the clues that would have made all of us viewers instantly suspicious of Ridge's motives. She doesn't seem to care what kind of image this presents to the world (she's too old to be doing this to push her designs!). Moreover, she doesn't seem to care that this obviously disturbs Nick who, by the way, is the ONLY person who seems to have Ridge's number in all this craziness. Is she that lost? Come on, Brooke....I know you have to be smarter than that! And while I'm on a tear here what was up with WHAT she wore on Friday? Yuck. Yeah...nothing makes a man hotter than wearing a brown teddy. Ewww. I hope that wasn't the 'show-stopper' because all that outfit would do is stop the mood in a hurry!

I can only assume that Brad is taking great delight in dumbing-down everyone's favorite B&B bad girl who used to have a brain back in the day. It's almost like she's medicated or something...in a kind of Ridge-induced fog where she just smiles and says everything's gonna be alright. Yeah, ok...SNAP OUT OF IT!!! It makes me want to throw something at the screen every time she tells Nick how she's got everything under control and how no one is trying to manipulate her. HELLO!!! Well Sweetheart...Monday's antics will finally push Nick to the brink and I hope she snaps out of this trance the Forresters have her in because it's about to get ugly. Nick should pound Ridge into a crimson stain on the floor. Now THAT is good TV!!!!

I wasn't impressed with any of the teddies shown on Friday but what do I know anyway? I like how everyone oooh's and ahhh's like it's Gucci or something. I can't remember the last time I heard of Frederick's of Hollywood putting on a media circus for their last new line of crotchless underwear. For that matter, I can wait to see next season's Dominatrix Line from Forrester Creations!

Ok, enough about Brooke and the number she is doing on everyone's hands-down favorite actor on the show, Nick Marone. Yes, I am giving away the results from last week's question a little early in the column this week due to the UNANIMOUS voting results in Jack Wagner's favor when asked who the best actor on B&B is. I was so happy that everyone who emailed felt the same way as I did...even some Ridge fans conceded that Jack has it all over Ronn Moss in the acting category. Jack just makes it look effortless in every scene and I never get tired of watching him opposite Brooke. He seems like the type of actor that must make the scenes fun to do. I'd bet my car that when they are running lines, he is quite the jokester. And not too bad to look at either, by the way. I think he has aged rather gracefully, too.

Ok, what is up with Bridget??? Could her eyes have BEEN any bigger during the toast to Felicia and Dante? Could her speech have BEEN any more obvious??? I couldn't believe how borderline rude her speech was!! I think Felicia secretly knew exactly what she meant by 'falling in love with him'...she knows it has to be Dante Bridget was referring to, not Baby D. Notice I am still boycotting that silly name they have for that poor child. I thought her eyes would pop right out of her head! His entire family is there and she is playing tonsil hockey with Dante in the linen closet upstairs! And then she has the nerve to say 'I don't want to be the type of woman that does this'. WHAT? Too late, kiddo!!! You have poor, pretty Dante running around wondering what the Hell to do about this huge mistake he's about to make. Tease!!! I personally don't buy that she has suddenly had some magic epiphany that she loves him moments after Nick told her to move on. Whatever. I felt bad for him, though, as his real-life dad and other random family members were being duped into thinking Felicia and him were so in love. If Bridget REALLY loves him, they better move to stop all this or it's going to get messy. It's Felicia's part in this that makes me uneasy about her character. I thought she was smarter than this or at the very least, not so desperate. She is throwing herself at this guy just because he is the father of the baby (which...has anyone else noticed that they have a baby in those scenes that looks NOTHING like either parent?). She needs to go back to the hospital and cozy up to Dr. Dimples before he goes recurring, too!

There was such an insane focus on the teddy show and the Italian Stallion's romantic dilemma that there wasn't much else to watch. Just a sprinkling of Jackie, Stephen, Thorne, and Darla but little else. By the way, speaking of Stephen, I am on record now as saying that if Katherine Kelly Lang doesn't get an Emmy nod for her scene with Patrick Duffy last week, it would be a real shame. Kudos to both actors for some of the best acting I have ever seen on this show. It'll be a shame to see so much less of Duffy since he is the latest to get swallowed up by the Revolving Door at B&B. I'll miss you!

In honor of Father's Day, I thought I would examine, in the same way as the Mom's on B&B, the best and worst fathers on the show. A warning...not a lot of neckties to go around folks!

Eric Forrester, a.k.a-Jellyfish Dad. Can't make a decision about anything and could care less about how hurt his youngest daughter Bridget gets. All the strength of a wet paperbag.

Massimo Marone, a.k.a-The Godfather Dad. In his world, if you are not 'with' him, you sleep with the fishes.

Stephen Logan, a.k.a-Absentee Dad. Not exactly the model of stability but not a complete monster. A little horny, though...must either have a LOT of stamina or a good supply of Viagra. Just ask Taylor and Jackie.

Thorne Forrester, a.k.a-Ghost Dad. If he did not show up at corporate take-overs and fashion shows, we would forget all about him. Probably a good dad, though...if we ever could see him as a dad.

Nick Marone, a.k.a-Might As Well Be Dad. Ok, so Bridget screwed up his chance at fatherhood for real he is Dad to Brooke's young children as he's there more than there Daddies are. He would be a terrific father in my book and hopefully he will get his shot...even if it means Brooke is 50 or so when she gets pregnant again. According to last week's proclamation, she is ready to have Nick's babies (ok...???).

Ridge Forrester, a.k.a-Amnesia Dad. This guy only remembers he has kids when it suits him. Never there for Brooke's daughter Hope and even that little girl was smart enough to stay away from her botched wedding to him! RJ might as well be DJ for all the attention he gets from his bio-dad. Thomas was drinking and screwing older women for a while before Ridge ever paid enough attention to find out. And the Stepford Twins are barely a passing thought since Brooke did not give birth to them.

Hector Ramirez, a.k.a-Crazy Overprotective Dad. Too bad his only child flew the coup...but overall a good dad. Protecting your daughter very cool...running over the boyfriend, not so much.

No question this week...just a Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there that do so much for their families everyday. Have a great week!!!

Kristine Cain
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