Jack Wagner
Put them back together already!
For the Week of July 23, 2007
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After last week, it's obvious that Brooke and Nick are going to reunite, so why are viewers being forced to wait for several weeks while the characters dance around the inevitable?

Is it just me or is the inevitable taking entirely too long? After Friday's show it's obvious that Brooke and Nick are 'going back again' (sorry, couldn't resist), so why put us through another few weeks of doing the dance? Just as sure as I sit here, I know that one of two things is bound to happen in this crazy show...either Taylor will have an unfortunate accident and that will open the door for Brooke and Nick or...she will have the baby that actually has Brooke's DNA and that will open the door for Brooke and Nick. See? Simple. Let's just cut to the chase and stop stringing along a viewer-ship that is growing SO tired of this 'wading through cement' writing pace. The looks of longing, the innuendo, the kisses that are only a breath away from happening...enough!! The story insults everyone's intelligence enough without having it last until the new millennium.

After watching last week's show, though, I found myself actually feeling sorry for Brooke. Yes, I said it. The whole child negligence thing is such a stretch even for a woman who has been notorious for thinking with her loins instead of her brain. But...I have never said she was a 'bad' mother to Hope and RJ. Maybe Katherine dealt with them more than we ever saw onscreen but still, this whole thing has shaped up to be a trumped up, out of left field bit of nonsense that is laughable at best. She spent a lot of time admitting her mistakes and taking ownership in ways she usually doesn't. Stephanie should look in the mirror before passing judgement on having kids by different fathers, by the way! And yet Brooke spent the entire week defending herself for things that many of us mortal parents have to face from time to time. I don't care who you are or how many kids you have...we all have had some near tragedy happen or just some stupid set of circumstances where kids do things they shouldn't...like light the house on fire. Heck, I almost did that when I was 6!! My parents weren't dragged into court...I was just worn out for a whole week so I would learn my lesson. Brooke should not have had this happen and certainly not just to have the Nick hook-up happen.

I loved the exchange between Brooke and Stephanie Friday as well. Those words were SO perfect and it's becoming more evident than ever before that she has a sick and dysfunctional connection to her son that defies current psychological theories. Sick, sick, sick!!!! Brooke was right...now she can raise children with Ridge and act as his pseudo-wife. That's what she wants more than anything...after all, she has no relationship with her HUSBAND to speak of, so why not have a textbook Oedipal party with Number One Son? Brrrr***** Gives me the chills!!!!

And where is Eric in all this anyway? It's crap that he just sits around with his sketchpads while his wife runs amok through the land tearing up peoples lives. Between that and just hardly ever seeing him, I'm beginning to doubt if he will get the cool storyline promised before involving Pam. Add his name to the list of the 'Missing of B&B'.

I have a question....where was dingbat Donna during the court proceedings? She should have been there to take the blame for leaving the kids without confirming it was Brooke in the driveway (not the messenger). That would have helped, I'm sure. And someone should take Storm's law license away...he sucks, too. He can't control anyone he defends and he loses every case it seems. Give me Joe Pesci from "My Cousin Vinnie'...I'd have a better shot! But I digress... Donna will show up in enough time to seduce a drugged out Thorne. Oh my God! Is this what the new writing boss has in mind for the next few major stories? Donna using Thorne to get back at Stephanie? WHAT??? If I were Winsor Harmon I would run as fast as I could away from that nuthouse in Hollywood! He's been off the canvas all this time and he gets another dead-end, nowhere relationship to further turn his ego into chopped meat? There could have been so many ways to have him come back and be a force as another strong male lead. Being with Donna wouldn't be so bad if it weren't under the influence of DRUGS!! Let them hook up sober and see where it leads. Or maybe if Ridge blows off Ashley due to the news that she slept with Rick, Thorne could put the moves on her! Taylor gets dumped by Nick, Thorne picks up the pieces and they give it one more try under better circumstances. I don't know...but having it be a revenge relationship sucks.

The singing duel was last week. Yep, that's about all I have to say about that. I'd rather take a joyride with Lindsay Lohan than watch that.

Well, at least for last week, Ridge went back to being a Class A #1 Jerk again. He is so whipped its scary and it seems only Brooke sees it. Ashley has an inkling but still...he will never be a truly likable or even tolerable character until his character can think for himself. It's almost painful to listen to the words come out of his mouth about how he thinks all this was for the best and how his Mommy has nothing to do with it. Moron.

How about that 10th grade speech by Rick at the Malibu Beach House? 'If you love someone you want to share everything...blah blah blah...' What a crock!! This story has been done a thousand times before on everything from 7th Heaven to 90210!!! OMG!!!! This guy is too old and she is too young and immature, PERIOD. Not like Constantine is any better for little baby Pheebs but I guess it's losing me altogether because neither guy is even close to her age. It's all just too creepy for me. Bring in a late teen's guy that's H-O-T and let's see if we can make the funky headband-wearing Phoebe just a little more appealing. And by the way, she was ridiculous to think she could go on with all that 'I want you' stuff dressed like a Sunset Strip hooker and expect anything less than the reaction she got. It's a two way street, I know, but that get-up was begging for it yet she down-shifted into the 'innocent' pretty quick. She's needs someone her own speed...which is pretty much 'stop'.

I swear I love how Nick Marone is the only man on this show with any 'you know what's'! He may have his host of issues (Brooke-induced weaknesses and sleeping with so many women since hitting LA that he's bordering on man-whore), but he has all the backbone that Eric, Ridge, and Thorne do not have when it comes to Stephanie and putting her in her place. He doesn't take any nonsense from her or anyone else. He tells it like it is and I swear I never get tired of it. When I asked the question last week about whether or not it was becoming the focal point of the show, I was surprised at the answers I received. It seems that my readers are split...they either love seeing him so much or they hate it due to the absence of other key characters. I tend to agree...I love Jack Wagner and truly feel he was the shot in the arm this show needed but the Nick and Brooke thing takes up SO much time in an already short show that I wonder how much more we can take. He is a great male lead but I think there should be some time for others now. He is an established character now...give others a chance!

This week's question...if you were the Ruler of the B&B Universe, what is the one thing you would do to help this show be stronger? Be creative...it can be anything!!

The Soap Box

Carol says: 'There is no way that I will ever watch B&B again. You ask if it has turned into the JW show, I say it has turned into the HT & JW show. Brad Bell has really done some stupid things with his characters to the point that it is hard to like anyone. I watched B&B years ago when there seemed to be a few "smarts" in the writing staff, but now, how about cognitive disability as a descriptor for the writers?'

Mary writes: 'Yes, I'm in total agreement regarding "The Nick & Brooke Show". You know, in the amount of time he's been on the show he has definitely made the rounds. He's slept with Felicia, Brooke, Bridget & Taylor. He's as much of a tramp as Brooke is & he's been on the show for only a couple of years. Ridge has only slept with Brooke, Taylor & going way back, Caroline. He's almost like a virgin by comparison w/Nick & he's been around 20 yrs.'

Naomi says: 'Brooke has driven me crazy of late, she's pathetic and I am a Brooke lover, although I hate to admit it at times like this. Actually she is always pathetic and I wouldn't want her in my life but Katherine Kelly Lang always seems to make her so warm so I can't help but like her. I think I would despise her if she were played by any other actor.' I love this post...a perspective I have never read before from a viewer...thanks Naomi!

Have a great week!!!

Kristine Cain
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