Amber and the tale of the pilot light
For the Week of February 21, 2011
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B&B Two Scoops: Amber and the tale of the pilot light
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Amber's being accused of trying to kill Liam, and Bill is turning psycho to get back at her. None of this makes any sense, if you stop to think about it. If Amber's using Liam as a meal ticket, what will she gain by killing him?

Oh, those chilly nights in Southern California. There's a nip in the air, and you just have to turn on the heat. Just make sure the pilot light hasn't gone out. Yes, it was the old "pilot light" explosion that felled Liam Cooper. He was in the wrong trailer at the wrong time and -- wouldn't you know it -- he got all blown up along with Tawny's trailer.

You've got to admit that an explosion was the last thing you expected! I figured Liam and Amber would be careening down the Pacific Coast Highway when he had an accident, or that he would be caught in a California mudslide or a SoCal earthquake. But, no, it was the pilot light. Of course, what Amber was doing with a lit match and a propane tank is beyond me. Would you have tried that move if you had a working brain? Maybe she was thinking about Thomas' attempt to blow up Rick in his car and subconsciously put Liam in the blast zone?

The end result, of course, is Amber's being accused of trying to kill Liam, and Bill is turning psycho to get back at Amber. None of this makes any sense, however, if you stop to think about it. If Amber's using Liam as a meal ticket, what will she gain if Liam's a French fry? Or, worse yet, dead? Amber needs Liam alive and well and concerned about the baby that he thinks is his. She had no motive to kill Liam.

Bill's reaction to the explosion was out of hand and out of proportion. Sure, he loves Liam...or at least he thinks he does. Just because Liam has his DNA, Bill cannot feel about the guy the way he would if he'd raised him. So the over-emotional response and the tears and kvetching are a bit excessive. Even Liam pointed out that Bill hasn't adopted Liam. He's still a Cooper, not a Spencer. So if Bill was so enamored of his boy, why hasn't he put him in the will? As far as I'm concerned, Bill's desire to eliminate Amber is out of whack. His nickname is Dollar Bill, not diabolical Bill.

If we're to connect the dots as Brad Bell has drawn them, Bill is thinking murderous thoughts about the supposed mother of his grandchild. While Nick was showing Katie that lovely mansion on the cliffs of Malibu, Bill was thinking that it would be a good place for a murder. Heavens to Alfred Hitchcock! Is Bill losing it or what? Is his only solution to the Amber issue to kill her and the kid at the same time?

It's really a poorly conceived story because the whole thing about Bill Spencer Jr. is that he's too smart to be tricked or conned or taken advantage of. Granted, this con is being pulled on his son, Liam, but Bill's reaction is not cool and calculated. It's impulsive and unworthy of his superior intellect. Presumably, this is not the first time Bill's been the victim of a scam. How did he handle it in the past? Surely he didn't resort to murder. We would have heard about that, I think.

No, here's what would have made more sense. Bill should have made Amber an offer she could not refuse. He has the money and the wherewithal to make Amber go away. Why not set her up in a New York apartment with a Spencer bank account and a job at a Spencer publication if she wants to work. Amber never really said that she was out to play house with Liam. I doubt that she even wants to live with Liam after she has the baby. If Bill had simply given Amber -- the con artist that she is -- what she wanted, she would have disappeared. Wouldn't that have been better for Liam than a prolonged stay in the burn unit at an L.A. hospital?

Don't get me wrong. I feel bad for Liam. He's the victim in this situation, and what Amber's done is despicable. She never should have targeted him like she has. It's not fair. She's also too smart to have had unprotected sex with whomever is the real father. It would seem that it will be Oliver, but Marcus could be the daddy, too. And if sperm can remain dormant for a while, could Daniel Romalotti be the father? That would be a wild Bell story if that's how it plays out!

The other victim in the Amber con, of course, is Hope. However, I have a hard time conjuring up a lot of sympathy for Hope. Does Hope really believe that all of her boyfriends must be perfect romantic heroes? How naïve is that? This past week, I actually laughed out loud when she complained about just wanting a normal boyfriend! Give me a break. This girl has the world on a silver platter, and she's complaining? She couldn't forgive Oliver for his accidental coitus with masked Mom, and now she's fed up with Liam because he had a misstep. In her mind, Liam's concussed coitus with Amber -- which we know never happened -- is as big a sin as Oliver's graduation party bump and grind with Brooke.

I know I've said this before, but it's time for Hope to get down from her pedestal and become a real person. People make mistakes. Nobody's perfect. Accept the fact that if you want to have a wonderful boyfriend, he may come with feet of clay.

Maybe Hope should talk things over with little brother, R.J. Oh, yes, R.J. Remember him? For the first time in months and months, Brooke and Ridge actually talked about their son the other day. Were you as shocked as I was? This likely means that SORAS will be creeping into the Forrester mansion very soon, and R.J. will be a teenager before you know it!

Can you also spot the evil lurking around every corner of Forrester Creations? You should because Steffy is back, and she's evil personified. Just call her the Wicked Witch of Westwood! Steffy came home from Paris and immediately started throwing barbs at Brooke as though no time had passed since she left L.A. All the French food and good life did nothing to quell Stephanie Jr.'s antipathy for all Logan women. In her first encounter with Brooke, she was taking shots. Real nice, hmm?

Well, maybe the show is intent on Steffy being sour so Thomas can be sweet? I can't imagine that Thomas' interest in Dayzee is going to be nefarious or shallow. This looks to me like he's completely smitten with Dayzee in that "love at first sight" kind of way. Of course, it's taken him about five or six sightings to realize that he likes Dayzee. As for Dayzee, however, is she going to be swept off her feet by Thomas, or will she remember that she also liked Marcus? I see a triangle on the horizon, don't you?

Finally, a word about Nick Marone... It was refreshing to see him interacting with Katie and Bill. For the first time in weeks, Nick wasn't talking about cigars, smoking, nicotine patches, and chewing gum. He seemed like his old self. I'm sure we'll get some residual tobacco withdrawal and Stephanie will be on his case about going back to the doctor, but I'm ready for Nick to get back to Jackie M. business.

And now it's time for a little You Scoops!

• Since B&B is so into public service with the cancer storyline, etc., why didn't they take the Amber/Liam storyline and make it about her raping him. She's old enough to be his mother and if she took advantage of him when he was unconscious, that's rape. Okay, I know nothing really happened, but it would have been such a good chance to expose male rape for what it is and not just a big joke. Instead we have this old and tired "who's the baby's father" storyline yet again, and with a person who has already done it before. And these altered lab tests...those things do not happen and yet we see story after story that gives hospitals and labs black eyes. These stories make it look like anyone can walk in off the street and access personal information because of negligence of medical employees. A little realism wouldn't hurt now and then and is my biggest complaint against these shows. -- Kathy

• Outstanding episode today about lung cancer. Thanks for a real life episode. It's so much better to have an episode about real life events rather than an episode about someone being in a car crash and being nursed back to health in a cabin in the woods. Thanks for a moving episode. -- Glen H.

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Allison J. Waldman
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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