Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you rebound faster than a whole basketball team? Did you teach your grandson that the right thing to do is lie through your teeth? Did you finally cancel your text message plan? These and more situations faced the Forresters et al this week!
You know those announcements they make when a role is recast? "The role of [blank] is now being played by [blank]?" Well, they must have done one for the entire show, because what I'm seeing is not The Bold and the Beautiful. It's an impostor. Who are you, and what have you done with my show!
There's so much wrong right now, I barely know where to begin. We sat through months and months of teasing things between Brooke and Thomas, through the flirting and runway kisses, not to mention Taylor's histrionics. And this is the endgame? Psychedelic berries that have led to framing Brooke and sending Ridge back to Taylor? Is this seriously the best B&B can do anymore?
We all know we fans are about evenly divided -- we either want Ridge with Brooke or Taylor. And we're pretty vocal about it, too. It seems Brad Bell knows this, so every couple of years he bounces Ridge between Brooke and Taylor so that all the fans get a chance to be happy, at least for a while. But you can't please all the people all the time. And at least the other billion times Ridge waffled, there were more plausible, if campy, reasons behind it. To make this waffle work, we are being subjected to wholesale character assassination. And I'm damned angry about it.
Stephanie Forrester is dead to me. I know the woman has had issues with Brooke since 1987. She prefers her son with Taylor, even faking a heart attack once to get Ridge to leave Brooke. But that was before Stephanie's bout with cancer, before Brooke rallied at her side, before Stephanie and Brooke came to terms and formed a friendship. When Brooke and Thomas were missing, Stephanie said she loved Brooke and wanted her Brooke in her life. And just two weeks ago, Stephanie approached Brooke to reconcile their friendship after the idiocy with Thomas had threatened to divide it.
And now you're telling me that in those two short weeks, Stephanie has decided to throw all of that away and destroy Brooke's marriage by getting Thomas to lie that he had sex with Brooke on the island? While dangling the carrot of her 25% percent share in Forrester in front of Thomas? It's the most diabolical thing Stephanie has ever done, and she has the gall to badger a guilt-ridden Thomas, telling him they're doing the right thing! Stephanie saw that Taylor still had feelings for Ridge (like that's ever been a surprise) and so wants to bestow the gift of a reunion on Taylor while throwing Brooke to the wolves? I'm sorry, but this change in behavior makes zero sense, even given the volatile history between Brooke and Stephanie. If Stephanie hadn't made peace with Brooke last year, I could buy it. But not now. Stephanie keeps talking about dying -- frankly, they could kill her off right now, and I wouldn't care.
Thomas Forrester is also dead to me. Not that I've been a fan since the unfathomable recasting of Drew Tyler Bell, and Adam Gregory's case hasn't been helped by the ridiculous change in Thomas' character. I thought having Thomas champion Brooke, causing conflict with Steffy, was inspired. But this whole Taboo thing has been insufferable. Still, I went with it, and I even started to like Thomas a little through the plane crash and resulting maroonment. Until Thomas suddenly got dollar signs in his eyes and lied about sexing Brooke. Sorry, but his guilty moping isn't holding any water for me -- if he had one shred of integrity, he would have told Stephanie to blow it out her brooch instead of agreeing to stab Brooke in the back.
Should I really be surprised at Thomas' behavior? Even in the guise of Drew Tyler Bell, Thomas blew up Rick's car and tried to set his Rick's house on fire. As Two Scooper Scoops reader Pat suggested two weeks ago, maybe this was Thomas' plan all along -- to set up Brooke based on her past misdeeds to gain a stronger foothold in the company. Doing Stephanie's bidding is either out of character, or showing us that Thomas is a darker character than we ever knew. Personally, I hope Brooke blows up Thomas' car when she finds out what he did.
Then there's Taylor -- who's pretty much been a joke since Prince Omar brought her back from the dead. Taylor was a little too good to be true before her 2002 "demise" -- so I can understand if they wanted to make the character edgier. But almost all she's done since her return is fawn over Ridge, ruining her relationships with Nick and Whip in the process. Has she never heard the term "rebound?" Should she not know, even now, that if there were to be any sort of happy reunion with Ridge, that he would need time to actually get over Brooke first?
No. Instead, she wants to prosecute Brooke, screaming that her son was drugged and sexually abused! Huh?? I can understand Taylor being upset -- but news flash, lady, Thomas is an adult! And you would think that Taylor, having ingested the berries herself, would be the one person to understand that Brooke might not have been in full control of her faculties. What a wasted opportunity. She's so horrified that Brooke had her way with Thomas that she wants to get Thomas in with a therapist that specializes in sexual abuse. Yet the fact that Thomas committed arson twice in attacks against Rick barely registered on her radar.
And speaking of Rick, why didn't Brooke carefully remind Taylor that Taylor had slept with Brooke's son -- while fully conscious and not hopped up on berries at that! Taylor is consistently painted as the bastion of morality, decency, and integrity; yes, she has these qualities, but she's as guilty of her own misdeeds as Brooke is of hers. Ridge went on about how fair and honest Taylor is -- yet, didn't Ridge once leave Taylor because it came out she had slept with James in the aftermath of the Big Bear quake and kept it a secret for a dozen or so years? I think it's very black-and-white to paint Brooke as the slut from the Valley and Taylor as Miss Goody Two Two-Shoes. Over the years, Brooke has mellowed and Taylor has explored her dark side -- which puts them on more of an even footing as far as I'm concerned. Just ask Darla.
Ridge is also being a twit in this situation. After the mask boink, it was well within his rights to tell Brooke that she had to be good from here on out, or continuing their marriage was a no-go. You can't fault him for that. But you can for his saying that if Brooke screwed up again, the first thing he'd do is run to Taylor! All that did was give Taylor even more reason to ignore poor Whip, who has once again been thrown over for Ridge. (Nick and Whip ought to form a club, each having been dumped by the same two women who chose Ridge over them.) And then, going back to the whole rebound thing, can Ridge just bounce between these ladies and turn his feelings on and off so easily? This has always been the weakest part of Ridge's character, and it's once again in full force for us to see.
Not only is he letting Stephanie put words in his mouth (it was nice to see a good old old-fashioned Forrester breakfast like in the '80s, but still), he let Taylor take his wedding ring off and told Thomas he didn't blame him Thomas for what had happened! Oh, really? He didn't blame Oliver for the mask boink, either, but he still hauled off and punched the boy. Yet Thomas gets a free pass? He got Taboo pulled over a kiss! Son or not, it makes no sense that Ridge can't forgive Brooke for supposedly sleeping with Thomas while they were starving and under the influence of hallucinogenic berries while he had no problem forgiving Brooke for accidentally sleeping with Oliver while fully conscious.
The only part I didn't watch in sheer agony this week was Steffy giving Thomas hell when she found out what had happened. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I actually enjoyed it. Did I say enjoyed? I absolutely loved her screaming "What the hell is wrong with you!" ?" and listing off all the stupid things Thomas has done over the course of Taboo. Of course, it lasted about five seconds before Steffy decided to jump on Taylor's blame-Brooke-for-everything bandwagon. Still, what a killer five seconds.
But ah, could there be an end in sight? James' James's previous appearance -- trying to help Brooke and Taylor mend fences (at the very Big Bear cabin where he lost his virginity to Taylor, no less) only to watch them throw mud at each other -- was less than memorable. Now, James could be the key to clearing up this mess. I've always liked James (how he makes me miss Sheila!), and this time was no exception. Having a session with Brooke might have been weird, considering they were once engaged (in 1994, for those who weren't watching then). But he brought a sense of sanity that was sorely lacking all week.
An interesting point came up during the session. "I can only imagine [Thomas] was seeing everything I was seeing, only in his version," Brooke mused while recalling their berry high. Ah ha. As I mentioned in a previous column, why would Brooke and Thomas see the same thing at all? And, going with that, why hasn't anyone questioned that Thomas' hallucination might have been different -- and therefore even if he "remembered" having sex with Brooke, it might not be an accurate memory? Why hasn't Taylor insisted that Thomas be put under hypnosis to make sure? I'm just saying.
Happily, James deduced -- albeit at lightning speed -- that the reason Brooke remembers everything except doing the do with Thomas is because it didn't happen and Thomas is lying! Hallelujah! This can only mean this story is going to end sometime soon. Unless Stephanie follows Sheila's lead and locks James in a dungeon before he can expose the truth...I wouldn't put it past her...
Now, let's look at this logically. What's the endgame here? Stephanie and Thomas are going to be found out -- if not soon, then eventually. Thomas rightly lamented, "they're They're never going to forgive us" -- damn straight! Brooke will be vindicated, Taylor will be hurt all over again when Ridge takes Brooke back, and Stephanie and Thomas will be ostracized. Personally, I'd love to see the Forresters shun Stephanie and Thomas for a good long while. (You know Eric's going to be pissed.) So what was the point of all this? Except to guarantee that there can never again be a friendship between Stephanie and Brooke -- 2010's best storyline, smashed to pieces over some freakin' berries. Tell me, Brad Bell -- was it worth it?
Thomas should finagle that 25% percent stock out of Stephanie, add it to his own, and give it to Brooke! Then Brooke would be the majority stockholder -- as she used to be when she owned 51% of the company as a result of the Forresters trying to bilk her out of her rights to the BeLieF patent. Love Brooke or hate her, this time she's being set up, and therefore deserving of some kind of victory. I'd love to see her rise above all the Forresters -- maybe she finds out what Stephanie and Thomas have done, blackmails their 30% percent out of them, and gives it to Bill! But I don't want to see her reunite with Nick. That ship has sailed!
Was there another storyline this week? You betcha, and you know it's a sad day when what's usually a snoozefest ends up being the best and most satisfying part of the show -- Liam and Hope finally got a clue and realized their text messages had been forged! Yesss! They finally got the backbone I wanted for them in my last column! Why Tawny confessed to her treachery is beyond me -- some belated attempt to protect Amber, I suppose -- but Liam finally grew a pair and warned the Moores not to cross him again. Shades of daddy Dollar Bill! Hope and Liam's reconciliation seems to indicate their silly waffling is over, too -- bye bye-bye, Oliver! And it looks as if Hope can stop singing Like A Virgin, because it appears she is being touched for the very first time. "Hey!"
Judging by the e-box, you Scoopers aren't any happier with our show these days than I am:
• "I've always enjoyed watching B&B but Ridge/Brooke and crazy Taylor needs to move on...I thought it was finally over when Taylor got married to Whip. She is a doctor and this lady really needs to see a doctor!! It is really pathetic how Taylor is. What is wrong with the writers! Come on -- do something better..." - Vicky
• "B&B means the world to me and as much as it pains me not to support B&B during a time when all of our soaps are fighting for their lives, I simply can't watch a storyline that involves Brooke and Thomas in any kind of sexual relationship..." - Selonia
• "I love Brooke and Ridge as a couple and I think what the writers did with her and Thomas, considering she helped raise him and her sisters when Taylor was presumed dead is in bad taste...I have no interest in watching this toxic stew. Disappointed does not begin to describe this story line." - Deirdre
• "So much for being an Eagle Scout. Thomas can't even tell the truth. Sad." - Ron
• "After last week I have had it I'm not watching anymore. The story line that Brooke has is [sickening]. I don't look forward to the Bold and Beautiful soap anymore..." - Judy
• "Taylor and Ridge belong together...they are a REAL couple with REAL problems...Brooke and Ridge can never be happily married due to Brooke's infidelities...but if Bridge is the endgame then I would want Taylor to move on from Ridge and Brooke angst and find herself some happiness that she has deserved for so long." - Prerna
• "Everyone can clearly see that Brooke and Ridge are madly and passionately in love with each other. Why can't we have a Cinderella love story that we can believe in that has a happy ending? And who are Stephanie and Taylor to cast stones at Brooke when they live in glass houses..." - Hazel
• "I'd like to see Thomas busted -- fast -- don't drag it out...they had no prob dumping the homeless and cancer stories that actually mattered. I'd like to see Brooke tell Ridge to take a hike and go back to Nick. They were my fav couple. Hey I thought Taylor was an addict -- wouldn't those berries kind of send her off a bit?" - Loren
The only Point to Ponder I have is that B&B needs to shape up -- fast. Frankly, I preferred the mask boink story that launched this time last year -- and that's saying something! How about a nice mystery involving the whole cast instead? Because right now, the biggest mystery is why B&B is trying to sabotage their own show. We know they can do better -- write CBS and Brad Bell and tell them so. I seriously hope I have cause to write a more positive column when next we meet!
In the meantime, continue the fight for AMC and OLTL (and GH!) by using the links on soapcentral.com's Support Our Soaps page. And hey, all evil twins are vanquished eventually -- this one may be by Hope, who's going to get something to do besides moon over Liam -- so keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!