Kimberly Matula
Women on the verge of a nervous breakdown
For the Week of August 22, 2011

You may have never seen a foreign film called Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, but you don't have to now because Brad Bell is serving up a similar story on The Bold and the Beautiful! We have the two ladies front and center, the good, pure, and virginal Hope versus the schizo seductress Steffy. In a period of just a few days on the air, Hope has become unraveled by the idea of having to lose her virginity to her boyfriend Liam...or risk losing him to her rival, Steffy. Meanwhile, Steffy has flipped a switch and is no longer in love with Liam's father, Bill, because Liam saved her life. Suddenly, her heart now throbs only for Liam, Liam, Liam. All thoughts of Bill have been swept away in her ardor for Bill's only son.

And as this drama plays out, the emotions are running high, and everyone is talking in absolutes. It's enough to make you cry out, "Whoa! Slow down, I can't keep up." I mean, for months now, Liam and Hope have been happily going about their sweet, gentle romance. They kissed, they hugged, they held hands... but because of Hope's decision to wait until the wedding night to have sex for the first time, she and Liam agreed to give abstinence a chance. (Wasn't that a John Lennon song?)

Anyway, the key word there was wait, but something has happened to Liam, and waiting has become a problem. I'm trying to figure out what exactly the triggering mechanism was. It couldn't have just been seeing a few glimpses of naked Steffy in the tub when he rescued her, could it? If so, then keep that boy away from Cinemax After Dark or he might become a raving sex fiend! Surely this man has seen the beautiful body of a lovely girl or two, right? So what's the deal...

Frankly, there's something really weird about the whole Steffy transformation. How is it possible that her emotions can pinball from Bill to Liam so quickly? It makes no sense. She can be grateful to Liam for saving her life, but are we really to believe that she's fallen for him that way she fell for Bill? ...Why? As a psychiatrist, Mama Dr. Taylor Hayes should be prescribing numerous sessions on the couch for her daughter. That shift of focus from father to son smacks of Freudian implications.

Steffy couldn't get the love of a father figure like Bill, who she acknowledged was Ridge-like to her, so she rejects him to go for the son instead? And in her pursuit of a man -- Liam -- who's claiming to be in love with another woman -- Hope -- does Steffy cast herself in her subconscious mind as Taylor pursuing Ridge, with Brooke/Hope being the woman in the way? See how kinky this can be? I don't trust that Steffy really feels anything for Liam except the need to take something from the Logans, and Hope represents the Logans.

While Steffy has made me crazy with her hip-hopping emotions, Hope is just plain hopeless with her resolve. Sorry, but her virgin angst is tiresome. It's not a religious thing -- it's her reaction to Brooke having been involved in so many sexual scandals. Really? Come on, that's just not realistic in this day and age. Sure, Brooke has a checkered history, but Hope has defended her mother to everyone.

Why are we to think now that she wants to be completely unlike her mother to the point of refusing to have sex? She's not frigid. She'd not afraid of sex. Those traits would be understandable. Or maybe if she had a trauma or -- as I said -- if it was a decision based on religion, I'd get it, but this is just strange to me. Hope wants to emulate her mother, whom she loves and admires, but not be like her in regards to romantic relationships? Maybe we're supposed to think that Stephanie has brainwashed Hope into wanting to be the anti-Brooke?

Can we get back to the tub for a minute? How is it that Jackie never once slipped in the tub all the time she lived there...but the first time Steffy takes a soak, she nearly kills herself? Didn't she have any rubber stickies on the bottom of the tub? Maybe Jackie should have installed handicap handles on the sides of the tub, just in case... It really makes you wonder. Perhaps Steffy needs a Life Alert system, you know the "I've fallen and I can't get up" necklace? She certainly came off like a complete klutz. I mean, I don't think I've ever fallen in a tub, have you? Of course, you and I probably have our bathtubs in the bathroom where they belong, not in the living room!

Did anyone but me notice that this wasn't Steffy's first brush with an accidental death? Didn't she drive her car off the road after being upset by Ridge returning to Brooke? In that instance, it was Bill who rescued her. Hey, that's it! Steffy has a damsel in distress complex! She's looking for some guy to ride up on a white horse and sweep her off her feet before she kills herself.

Now that Jacob Young is returning to play Rick Forrester, could he be rekindling his love affair with Steffy? I always liked those two together especially since Ridge had such a problem with Rick shtupping his daughter. I never really cared for Rick and Taylor, and I sure don't want to see more Rick and Amber. Please, Brad, don't take us down that road again.

Now that Katie's heart is on the mend, it looks like Bill is going to blame Ridge for everything that went wrong in his life. How and why he comes to this conclusion is baffling to me, and yet his overture to Nick to collaborate on the destruction of Forrester Creations was based on the two of them hating Ridge. I understand why Nick has always hated Ridge; they're brothers who don't want to be brothers, and they both loved Brooke. It makes sense that they'd despise each other. But Bill's hate for Ridge is seemingly all about his feeling that Ridge hurt Steffy when he chose Brooke over Taylor. Is that it? Pretty flimsy if you ask me...and don't tell me it's because Ridge punched Bill in the face. It's gotta be more substantial than that, right?

In other action, we have another fashion show coming out of nowhere. Amazing how that happens on this show, don't you think? And since when is Hope a designer? I thought she was the inspiration for the Hope of the Future line, but last week they were going on about her wonderful designs. Wow! This is the same kid that has only been out of high school for a year, and now she's a fashion designer. No training. No college. No Project Runway. I'd say it was in the genes, but Deacon Sharpe is her daddy and his big talent on The Young and the Restless is pouring drinks. And Hope's mommy, Brooke, made her mark in the fashion biz in the lab with BeLief, right? I guess just being raised in close proximity to Ridge Forrester has made Hope capable of creating a clothing line. By the way, if Hope's a designer, can we expect R.J. to be creating running shoes before he's out of junior high school?

Marcus and Dayzee are getting cozy all of a sudden. Presumably she's over Thomas because she hasn't looked back once at that relationship. And I assume Thomas is lost in the lower depths of Forrester Creations with Thorne and Felicia, although he did pop his head out for the fashion show. Usually once you get demoted to the shipping department, you might as well be dead at Forrester Creations.

In other corners of the world, Jackie and Owen are driving Nick crazy. Maybe Nick should move back to the Shady Marlin until his mother and step-dad find new digs? I can't imagine that it's that hard to find a place to live in Beverly Hills when you've just made a killing on a loft apartment, but Owen and Jackie are not very anxious to go house-hunting, are they? And while we're on the subject of Nick's place, has anybody seen Jack lately? The last we saw of Jack was when Nick quit cigars! Maybe he's on the same island were Ally has gone, never to be heard from until she's ready to cause trouble for someone.

So what did you think of Liam's proposal? Talk about putting Hope on the spot, hmm? I hear he was going to take her to Dodger Stadium and use the scoreboard to ask her to marry him, but then he found out the Dodgers were on the road. I'm sorry, but it was just so ridiculous. It came out of nowhere. They've been dating and dating and never talked engagements. It was all supposed to be in the future. Except that Liam is horny, and he doesn't want to wait for Hope to succumb to his sexual advances. Does this strike anybody like a Doris Day movie? Hope looks the part, but I'm not seeing Liam as a latter day Rock Hudson!

So, this coming week, what can we look forward to? I think Liam will get his answer, and Amber will get her claws out for Dayzee, and Nick will do more slow burns about Jackie and Owen. It's time to shake it up, I think. Where's Pam and the poison lemon bars?

Here are some letters from readers. Click the Feedback option at the top of the page, the email me link at the bottom, or click here.

    • How is Steffy not a Forrester? Wasn't she a twin? -- Julie
    Answer: Here's the deal, Julie. Ridge is not really a Forrester. His father was Massimo Marone. Eric raised Ridge, believing he was his son, but Stephanie had lied all those years about his true paternity. So none of Ridge's children are actually Forresters; they just have the name. That includes Steffy and her twin, the late Phoebe Forrester.

    • You know, it sure would get interesting when Hope turns Liam down and Liam runs to Steffy. Evidently all of the repressed feelings that maybe he has had for a while now are coming to the surface. Nevertheless, it sure would be nice if Steffy got the man for once. Who knows, maybe Liam will be very happy. -- Diane

Allison J. Waldman
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