I've got designs on you
by Mike
For the Week of September 8, 2014
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B&B Two Scoops: I've got designs on you
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Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you turn your colleague into a human Ouija board? Did you find out even cats from Australia have claws? Did you admit your son's marriage just needed a little push? These are the situations that faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan, and it's what we're dishing in this week's Two Scoops!

Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you turn your colleague into a human Ouija board? Did you find out even cats from Australia have claws? Did you admit your son's marriage just needed a little push? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

And a short week on B&B it was, Scoopers, but a sweet one! Really, the writing has been much stronger since my last column, and that's all I ask from my show. There was connection, a subtle nod or two to history, and several truly soapy moments, the likes of which we haven't seen for a while. Of course, there were a few head-scratching moments, too. Fire up the barbie and let's Scoop!

First, I've got to backtrack into last week. What was that with Bob Barker punching Wyatt? I'm not gonna lie; it was painful. I realize it was an homage to the Bob Barker/Adam Sandler scene in 1996's Happy Gilmore (which I had to look up), but it was so contrived. Wyatt would never be that snarky to an elderly man, he should have recognized the former The Price is Right host, and why would Barker go medieval on a total stranger? That scene needed to be spayed or neutered.

But enough about that! We're suddenly seeing a lot of Brooke's kitchen, where Deacon swaggered in and reminded Brooke about his proposal. And glory be -- they talked about Bridget! Deacon felt that perhaps Brooke was hesitant to pursue a relationship with him because of how they betrayed Bridget with their 2001 affair, and Brooke recalled that Bridget had forgiven them. That was the missing piece since Deacon decided he wanted Brooke back, so it's brilliant to mention it here.

But Deacon's motivation baffles me. He claims he wants Hope to have her parents together, but come on -- Hope's a grown woman. And how could Deacon propose to Brooke when they have no current relationship? Yes, they were fiyah in the early aughts, but people change in a decade. How about asking Brooke on a date first to see if their old connection and passion are still there? That's B&B for you these days -- skip the courtship and go right to the wedding. Where's the romance in that?

At Forrester, Ridge and Katie had another expositional conversation: Ridge told Katie he can't draw, which she already knows. It was at least broken up by Rick wanting to see designs for the couture line, which was different -- and when Ridge kept coming up with excuses, we were treated to a rare Rick/Katie scene. I loved him mentioning that Katie ran Forrester once (back in 2010), but then their conversation kept going in circles: "I need to see designs/Is something wrong with Ridge" over and over.

But Ridge's scenes with Caroline were a surprise! Fresh from visiting her two moms (really Linsey Godfrey's maternity leave), Caroline admitted that she had been experimenting with couture designs outside of working on HFTF. This led to the young designer showing Ridge, the master, her fledgling sketches, which he decided had possibilities. Suddenly he spoke of design techniques and what fashion was supposed to evoke -- for the first time, Thorsten Kaye's Ridge really seemed like a designer.

Fashion, only the root element of B&B that has gotten lost under endless triangles, came roaring back to the fore as Ridge placed his hand over Caroline's so she could draw what he couldn't. It was strangely electric! I don't mean in a romantic way, although certain sparks were there; it was just a sequence with a lot of substance. And Ridge, who hasn't been able to design for months now, rediscovered his ability as long as it was expressed through Caroline. Ridge actually smiled!

Here's the thing I don't get, though: if Ridge can't draw, how can he erase? And, more importantly, how can he guide Caroline's hand? I'm wondering if his block is more psychological than neurological, a hypothesis bolstered by the fact that Ridge couldn't draw on his own in front of Katie. I have to admit it: Kridge started out well, but there's no ping anymore. There actually was chemistry between Ridge and Caroline; do Katie and Rick need to keep their eyes open?

Moving on, I've discovered that I really like Aly and Ivy as friends -- such camaraderie is rare on soaps, especially this one -- but all they do is talk about Liam. After rehashing the whole thing about Ivy falling into the River Seine again (I get that casual viewers have to be caught up, but the increased exposition is getting ridiculous), Ivy then pointed out that Hope made Liam too serious. Huh? How would she know? She hasn't been around the guy two months yet, to say nothing of Hope.

And wouldn't you know, Hope overheard Ivy dishing to Aly about having kissed Liam twice. Uh-oh! Hope didn't like that! She put a quick stop to the Forrester girls' gigglefest, and suddenly, things got genuinely uncomfortable. I liked it! It's one thing when a scene tries to tell you you're supposed to feel uncomfortable, but another when a scene actually produces that reaction. Aly hightailed it out of there, and Ivy suggested she and Hope "just say hi to the elephant in the room." Yes!

For all the talk about Hope being a Logan, we forget that she is also a Sharpe. Well, her Sharpe came out in the form of sharp claws as she told Ivy it was too early for Liam to get into another relationship. Now, that is true. But let's face it: everybody rebounds on this show. And many of you have cried foul about Hope's claim, saying that Hope didn't give Liam a chance to grieve Steffy or their miscarried child before making a play for him. I've never seen Hope so bitchy. That surprised me.

Ivy, as I've pointed out before, has blown hot and cold in terms of her intentions. In Paris, she was gung-ho about helping Liam and Hope reunite, but, in her first scenes, she made disparaging remarks about Hope and her mother. The latter seemed to be the case here, as Ivy decided she wasn't having Hope's demand to back off of Liam. "How does your husband feel about that?" Ivy sniped. Whoo, get out the Meow Mix, because we've got a catfight in the making on our hands!

Back when Steffy was on her anti-Logan crusade, I tired of it very quickly. The Forrester-Logans are a blended family; there's no reason to draw hereditary lines. So Ivy wearing being a Forrester like a badge grated on my nerves a bit here, too. Still, I could hardly blame her for getting up in Hope's face after Hope suggested that Ivy fell into the Seine on purpose. It was on then! Hope really did seem to channel Brooke, and for a moment, it almost felt like Ivy was not the new Steffy, but the new Taylor. Meow!

In answer to Ivy asking why Hope didn't wait for Liam in Paris (still one of the most implausible B&B story points in recent history), Hope icily said she was Ivy's boss, and that Ivy had better "show me some respect." Ivy fired back that Eric had hired her, and that Forrester was her family's legacy. Actually, both girls are wrong. Despite Hope's name being on HFTF, she does not make management decisions, and if Ivy has a claim on Forrester, her sister Jessica does, too, and you never hear about that.

Still, the unexpected confrontation between Hope and Ivy brought major heat and a measure of good old soap cattiness the show has been missing for a long time. They outdid any Hope/Steffy arguments in one scene. I hope this leads to an old school beat down eventually, don't you? Maybe it's because the world is so politically correct now that soap catfights are few and far between. Brooke and Taylor needed one, and so did Hope and Steffy, but they never happened. I wanna see Hope and Ivy brawl!

Well, of course, Hope couldn't keep her mouth shut to Wyatt about how Ivy had put her lips all over poor, vulnerable Liam. Hope couldn't have been more obvious about her jealousy and lingering feelings for her ex, but Wyatt was amazingly understanding. He even channeled Bill's macho posturing by cheering the fact that Liam had caught another girl's eye. I'm sure some of that is bravado -- Wyatt should know he has something to worry about -- but maybe Bob Barker knocked some sense into him.

Later, Eric was inexplicably out of town, and apparently Ivy watched some of those '90s House Party movies on Netflix, because she threw a barbecue without any warning, unless I missed something. Didn't these people just party at Bikini last week? It matters not; Ivy introduced her guests to as many Australian clichés as possible, which was both cool and silly at the same time. I've been to Australia; I never saw people throwing boomerangs or even mentioning them.

Anyway, Ivy got Liam to come over and even offered him some fish dishes out of respect for his vegetarianism. (He can't eat meat, but he can eat fish? Fish are animals...) Jump to the end of the party, and the guests were saying Liam was still distracted from having lost Hope. Aside from Liam staring at his cell phone, Liam wasn't really shown reacting one way or the other. It was like we were being told Liam didn't have a good time, instead of being shown he didn't.

Ivy did make sense in yet another Liam-centric conversation with Aly; she worried that maybe Hope was right about it being too soon for Liam to move on. Ya think, Ivy? I've been on both ends of rebounds, and I've never known them to end well. Still, Ivy decided to tell Liam she liked him, and just when she thought all was lost, Liam grabbed her for a kiss, telling her the night wasn't over. Ooh, they're gonna be livin' in a land down under! Scoom scoom!

Last but not least, Bill and Liam vs. Quinn brought some witty one-liners I'd like to see more of. "No sword!" Quinn assured as she sashayed in. "And I promise not to touch either of yours -- unless you want me to." Liam said he got physically ill around Quinn, and when she asked what could be done about it, Bill suggested vaccination, then asked his babymama, "What do you want, Morticia?" Bam! When the dialogue's this good, you wish it could be like that all the time.

I don't know exactly why Quinn went to Bill's office and started yammering about how Ivy was weak for having "fallen" into the Seine. Was Quinn just so proud of herself that she couldn't keep her misdeeds inside? Naturally, Bill figured out that Quinn had set the wheels in motion to drive the final wedge between Hope and Liam, and instead of denying it, Quinn congratulated herself. Did she think Bill would be impressed? Quinn crowed that she just did what Bill would have done.

Bill responded that Hope and Wyatt being together wasn't up to Quinn. Paging Mr. Bill Spencer: does the word "gondola" mean anything to you? Bill can say that after faking MRIs and getting Deacon out of jail to manipulate Liam's love life the same way? "Hope and Liam need to know what you did," Bill declared, informing Quinn he was going to relay this information himself. Which goes back to the original question, why did Quinn rat herself out? See, Sheila would never have been so careless.

So, will Ridge and Caroline going all Cyrano de Bergerac land them in the sack? Does Deacon really have a chance with Brooke? And will the truth of Quinn's latest stunt convince Hope that her marriage to Wyatt was a mistake? Share your thoughts below this column in the Comments section, post a message on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit Feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column, like these! Check it out!

• "I know this is just soap opera writing, but I wish...Liam or someone [would] explain to Hope that after maturing comes the ability to commit. With commitment comes love, forgiveness, and patience. Waiting in a park for [only] 5 or 10 minutes...doesn't speak to any of those concepts. Anything could have gone wrong, and it did. Doesn't matter about Quinn. Bottom line, [Hope] should have waited longer than 5 minutes for someone she was going to commit to for a lifetime. Perhaps it is Liam who dodged this child's bullet. She's clearly too immature to commit to anyone. Let Wyatt deal with his child bride." -- Lori

• "I really truly love the pairing of Hope and Wyatt; they belong together. He is not always whining or putting expectations on Hope, like Liam does. I think Liam should be with Ivy or back with Steffy. The Hope Liam thing is well over done. Enough of it. Deacon should be back with Hope's mom. Bill maybe with his assistant; can't remember her name." -- Isabelle [COLUMNIST'S NOTE: The assistant you're thinking of is Alison.]

• "Why is everyone saying Wyatt puts Hope first? The only reason he does is because she is the only one they have put him with. Some of us think if he is all that good, when he found out she was his brother's lady, he would have respected their relationship. Hope is the real airhead. Who is ready to marry one brother and hours later marry [the other]?" -- "Whynot"

• "I was so excited when I found out Rena Sofer was joining the show. I have been disappointed in the way they are taking her character. I am also tired of the same story line over and over...the love triangle is getting very old!" -- Ceara • "Ivy is a great counterpoint to Hope, who I loathe, but Ivy is NO Steffy." -- Kathy

Speaking of counterpoints, let's count some Points to Ponder!

"We make a good team," Caroline beamed to Ridge after their Ghost-inspired designing. What, after one drawing?... Ivy snarked that Hope was like Brooke, who also juggled two brothers. Yes, she did, Ivy, but Brooke didn't dally with Ridge and Thorne at the same time; Hope's got her mama beat... Wyatt asked Hope about her day and about Ivy's designs. Isn't Wyatt supposed to be at Forrester working with Ivy on those designs?

So Liam has the cat now. Guess Hope didn't put up as much of a fight for Boo as it seemed she would have during his adoption... How funny was it that Oliver knows Caroline well enough to suggest that she take a selfie of herself trying Vegemite? Then, Liam played off staring at his phone during the party by announcing, "Ever since my dad's been back as CEO, I've been getting all these emails." Bill's been CEO again for months -- but Liam ignored emails and all business matters to go running off to Paris. Not to mention, Liam is vice president of Spencer Publications; wouldn't he be bombarded with emails regardless of who's sitting in the CEO chair?

Just wanted to weigh in about the casting of comedian Fred Willard as Eric's brother, John Forrester. Now, that should be interesting; he and John McCook certainly share a resemblance. Willard is a master at playing goofballs (example: Phil's father on Modern Family), but I'd love it if John came to town, packing some drama -- not to mention finally telling us what happened to his other daughter, Jessica. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for his appearance in early October!

I have some exciting news of my own that I will share with you when next I columnize, Scoopers...can't say anything about it yet, except that it's going to be magical. If you can't wait, follow me on Twitter: @magicallyAMJ! In the meantime, it's not just a column-ender, it's a mantra: keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

What are your thoughts on The Bold and the Beautiful? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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