Home deport
by Mike
For the Week of June 15, 2015
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B&B Two Scoops: Home deport
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It seems all your favorite residents of Los Angeles headed for a certain superstore this week. Steffy wandered the aisles, looking for anything that would help her rebuild her relationship with Liam. Ridge gave Caroline the tools to walk again. And Quinn made Ivy her do-it-yourself project when the saucy Aussie was about to be returned without a receipt! Don your orange apron and find out if B&B needs a little renovation of its own, courtesy of Two Scoops' Mike!
Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you interrupt a business meeting with something that was none of your business? Did your scorecard finally match up to the one held by your most hated enemy? Did you decide a green card would be the perfect wedding accessory? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer clan this week!

As Madonna once sang, "Time goes by so slowly" -- but that's not the case for B&B. Two weeks ago, the show was all about the takeover, and now that seems to be an afterthought in the wake of Steffy's never-ending longing for Liam. So much for that different story we were promised she'd have. At least there were some unexpected twists to liven things up, but not enough to quell the question marks spinning around in my head. Let's Scoop about it!

Maybe it's time to bring back the axe, because Aly got a little crazy again, this time lecturing Steffy in the middle of a business meeting about going after Liam. To begin with, why was Aly even there if her shoe line isn't active? Yet Ivy, whose jewelry is a part of Forrester's current lines, was nowhere to be seen. Interesting that Ridge deemed HFTF on hold, since Hope wasn't there. You could have fit a basketball in Aly's mouth!

"Miss F," as the always-missing Oliver calls her, must have replaced her shrine to Hope with one of Ivy, because she went on about Steffy and "the integrity of the company" to the point where Ridge needed to remind Aly she was on the clock. Come to think of it, Ridge also had to school Steffy, who admitted she'd promised to shelve her feelings for Liam, only to open the cupboard. Granted, it was nice to see actual models sauntering in wearing actual designs. Maybe Ridge is the better CEO!

But Aly's purity ring popped when Steffy suggested relaunching the lingerie line, and I really couldn't blame her. Not because there's anything wrong with the sexy scanties, but because it raised too many questions for me. Brooke rebooted Brooke's Bedroom two years ago; did that get lost under Brill? Even Eric had to approve it then; doesn't Steffy have to take the idea to Ridge now? And will it be the Intimates line, which she's done before?

Upon hearing that Steffy had kissed Liam again, Ivy asked, "What kind of girl keeps hitting on someone else's man with no shame or remorse?" In the B&B world, there's only ever been one answer: Brooke. Well, renew your Netflix subscriptions -- never mind Orange is the New Black, we've got Steffy is the New Brooke! Steffy hated Brooke for seducing Ridge away from Taylor and splintering Steffy's family. Well, Brooke did raise Steffy for a time; Steffy seems to have learned more at Miss Logan's gartered knee than she's willing to admit!

If that wasn't pathetically clear from the way Steffy panted after Liam, it became so when Steffy let Wyatt plant a wet one on her! A father and two of his sons? Yep, Steffy is in Brooke Logan territory, if not bucking for the Reva Shayne Lifetime Achievement Award. I was so hoping Steffy would get a new story, but it's business as usual, and from what I'm reading, even diehard Steffy fans are not pleased.

The one thing I will say is, Wyatt and Steffy have chemistry coming out the wazoo! It would have been so cool to explore this potential coupling without bringing Liam into it. As Wyatt pointed out, he and Steffy are both single and have spent enough time grieving their prior relationships. These two are impish and fun with similar temperaments. Steffy wanted "a summer of fun and adventure and love." She got it, all right, except it was condensed into five minutes, with Wyatt making a beeline for Steffy's lips without even the benefit of a hot date first.

What's the rush? The reason CaRidge works is because there was a slow, sensual build-up; their simple hand-holding was electric. I'm glad Wyatt conceded he had no feelings for Steffy as yet and barely knew her, but we missed some serious steps here. And I have a hard time believing that Steffy has spent the past two years in Paris, moping around about Liam, presumably without any male companionship. I wanted to see Steffy sashay off the plane with a legion of French boys, one hotter than the other. Instead, Steffy partied like it was 2010, and 2011, and 2012, and 2013...

As for Liam, who I was just starting to like again, given his gutsier reinvention during his takeover plot, he reverted back to his worn waffling form in just one week, giving us that same constipated look he'd always get when he was trying to decide between Steffy and Hope. Then Bill burst in, shipping Team Steam! What, did everyone pick up scripts from earlier this decade before the cameras rolled?

I liked that Bill confessed he played Rick by pretending to side with him and extracting a punch from him, knowing Rick would defend Maya's honor. Good thing; I was wondering why the hell Bill would want Rick to remain CEO after bellowing about dumping Rick out of that seat. Yet I could have done without Bill going on to Liam about Steffy being Liam's destiny to the point Bill followed Liam to his house to continue the harangue.

I've always had a theory, and B&B seemed to confirm it when Steffy whipped out the lingerie prototype she supposedly conceived, designed, and had sewn in less than an hour. Bill looked Steffy right in the eye and declared the teddy "hot as hell." And there you go! When Bill tells Liam, "Steffy excites you in a way no woman has," Bill is talking about himself! He still totally wants it, or, should I say, he "Still" totally wants it. At least that's consistent; Bill's gotten engorged over Steffy since 2009. Steffy knows it, too, or she wouldn't set out lingerie near the man she once pursued the hell out of.

Back at Forrester, Ivy, who said she was secure in her relationship with Liam but fretted about Steffy to anyone who would listen, even pushing Wyatt in Steffy's direction, found her stupor interrupted by an Immigration official. Apparently all was not well with Ivy's legal status in the United States. Ivy was to take her thunder back Down Under!

Now, they threw a lot of details at us, so it's imperative we digest them. Ivy thought she was a dual citizen simply because she has an American father and an Australian mother. Ivy's smart; why would she just take flighty John's word for it? Even Liam wondered why Ivy applied for a work visa if she considered herself a U.S. citizen, and there was some tomfoolery about Ivy's no-longer-mentioned Australian business not being a citizen!

The endgame is that Ivy is being deported, and I'll give the show credit for trying to make it reasonable. Hey, not since Claudia tangling with the INS in 1996 has deportation been a plot point (and I'll bet even you B&B long-timers have to reach into your memories for that one). Personally, I don't know why Forrester Creations can't intervene, but surprise: Quinn showed up and offered Ivy a shoulder to cry on!

Yeah, you know Quinn hasn't been on my list of faves for a long time, but Mrs. Sharpe wanting to help the very girl she shoved off a Parisian bridge -- and, by extension, the guy she about shish kebabed this time last year -- is a novel twist. It's especially delicious because it's character-driven: Quinn doesn't give a koala's keister about Ivy, but she'll step in for her now that Wyatt has shown an interest in Steffy, and Quinn is always willing to do anything to solidify Wyatt's love life, even if now the Miu Mius are on the other foot.

Quinn does need to turn in her Captain Obvious membership card, though, because she dropped so many hints in front of Steffy, Miss Forrester about called a cleanup crew. But Wyatt may be heading for a fall: while he was already flashing back to kissing Steffy hours before, Steffy was at Liam's, making sure Liam knew about it. Girlfriend's rolling like Brooke, all right! "I like who I am when I'm with him," Steffy purred. Huh? You were in a room with him for five minutes and shared one kiss.

Apparently, that gave Steffy the leverage to tell Liam she'd move on with Wyatt if Liam didn't choose her. Before Liam could reach for the Ex-Lax to relieve his all-too-familiar constipated look, Wyatt swung by and got an earful about how he shouldn't have kissed Steffy. What I want to know is, why does Wyatt suddenly have a chip on his shoulder about Liam again? And why, if Liam is as committed to Ivy as he says he is, would he care who Steffy makes out with? The Liam/Wyatt rivalry provided much conflict in 2013 and '14, but it's out of place, given their Team Spencer position of late.

Still, it was worth a few good lines. "You are like a golden retriever trying to hold too many tennis balls in his mouth," Wyatt said, calling Liam out on his infamous indecision. Liam countered, "Your way of lashing out is to liplock any woman that has a connection to me." Touchť! Though Wyatt rightly shut Liam down by pointing out that he'd never made a move on Ivy. "You're not as good a guy as everyone thinks you are," Wyatt sniffed; considering Liam's history of allowing himself to be swayed by a woman other than the one in his arms, Wyatt may not be wrong about his brother, after all.

"Liam's confused," Quinn cheerily reminded Ivy. "That's his natural state." Quinn might be crazy, but she's not stupid! I'm not sure the same can be said for Ivy, who heard Liam and Steffy talking about reconnecting but ran off, assuming she was about to be dumped. Isn't that the way Hope used to do it? But Hope never got this much help from Quinn, who told Ivy that her problems with Steffy and deportation could be solved in one fell swoop. Pardon me, on which aisle might I find weddings?

Steffy slammed Wyatt for "bargaining with Liam for me like I'm a used car," but Wyatt made the excellent point that Liam would likely not take Steffy back because of "the way you hurt him...what you did to him, Hope did to me." Amazing that's never come up before. Across the hall, Quinn wanted Carter's help, and the lawyer/minister's response was, "Just tell me you didn't stab somebody." No, Quinn insisted; it was Ivy. "What did you do to her?" Carter wailed. Classic.

As classic, I suppose, as marrying someone to keep them in the country, which Liam never came up with while discussing Ivy's deportation with her. Either Liam's tie is too tight lately, or he's trying to cut back on his wedding ceremonies. Ivy had one week to prove she was leaving the country, unless...she and Liam got married right away!

Now, have you noticed something? One story has again dominated the entire week. Why does B&B seem incapable of telling more than one story at a time? Before this, it was the takeover; before that it was Maya's transgender tale. I'll concede it could be due to our ever-shortening attention spans, but there used to be balance in the show giving us progression on two, even three unrelated stories in one episode. I miss it. A lot.

And it isn't just that this burgeoning Wyatt/Steffy/Liam/Ivy quad covers territory explored a million times already (for all the flaws in the Rick/Maya story, at least it wasn't a triangle). It's all the dropped details. Liam said Ivy helped him through one of his darkest moments: Steffy miscarrying their baby then leaving him. No, Hope picked up those pieces. Liam is now vice president at Forrester; what happened to Brooke and Ridge sharing that position? And where has Brooke been through all this takeover stuff? Too many times, there's a sense that B&B is making it up as they go along, forgetting what came before.

Finally, why so much telegraphing? Bill suddenly asked Liam about his commitment to Ivy just as she was facing the INS guy. Wouldn't the threat of Ivy's deportation have had more impact if Liam hadn't told Wyatt out of the blue that "Ivy might choose to go back to Australia tomorrow"? Where did that even come from? While we're at it, if Ivy going to Paris last year is what got her in trouble, why wasn't she flagged at the LAX airport when she went through security?

I'm happy to say that B&B's shining moment this week was the brief focus on another story: Caroline and Ridge. While Caroline's sadness about being helpless seemed out of left field because of how Zen she's been since her return, it was incredibly brave for Linsey Godfrey to detail the events of her real-life accident; there was even a feeling she was allowed to go off-script as Caroline told Ridge how the car came out of nowhere and pinned her. It's exceedingly clever to tie that into Ridge's fictitious brain damage so he could sympathize; it bonded CaRidge even further. And Ridge helping Caroline to walk? Their heat is still off the charts, even with something as unromantic as walking boots. Oh, yeah!

Can Quinn be trusted? What are you liking and disliking about B&B right now? And which couple are you rooting for? Tell us all about it in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column -- like these!

• "I find it reprehensible and irresponsible to have a transgender storyline and use an actress that is obviously non-transgender. Shame on you CBS!" -- Jaime

• "Forrester should have hit the Maya thing head on, and rode the wave of the transgender gossip [in Bill's magazines]. The lead model for [HFTF] is transgender, and that might be really relatable and accessible to the young women the line is focused on. Anyone...with promotions experience would know that a strong gimmick can translate well to sales numbers. Putting out a slick video with Maya, fashion and a good DJ could bring eyes to...Forrester['s] fashion line...that Forrester does not respond at all to the gossip, and suddenly replaces the top brass at the company makes it seem like something is wrong and unstable at the fashion house." -- George

• "Someone needs to get through to the writers that their viewers are not morons. They need to be aware of past events, because the viewers remember them. As [Mike] pointed out, blaming Ridge for Eric and Brooke's break-up? Also, I still can't get over the ridiculous break-up of Brooke and Ridge -- over a text. Come on...not believable for anyone past high school." -- Anna

• "I'm excited about the casting of Maya's parents [and that they're] coming to town!" -- Deborah

I am, too, Deborah! Admittedly, I'm not familiar with the work of Anna Maria Horsford or Obba Babatundť, but the next natural place for Maya's transgender story to go is to find out exactly what her parents, Julius and Vivienne Avant, are like. We'll get that answer July 9!

Now that we're at the register, let's ring up some Points to Ponder:

Ivy had a scene with Jake Maclaine, who was a major B&B player from 1990 to 1992! Why doesn't he ever get anything to do besides float around Forrester? Jake would be great for Donna... There's no timetable on getting over someone, but Wyatt's ready to give new love a go after six months, while Steffy is still whining about Liam after two years...

"You went to Ivy 'cuz Steffy was gone!" Bill reminded Liam. An incorrect reminder -- Liam went to Ivy 'cuz Hope was gone... "We'll do this meeting some other time," Ridge decided when Aly wouldn't let go of Steffy kissing Liam. Not Ridge's most professional decision -- Aly should have been told to leave it at the door or get out!

Steffy sighed "it was right here in this room" where Liam put a ring on her finger. Note she forgot that ring was still warm from Hope wearing it five minutes before... "I've been careless emotionally with women before you," Liam confided to Ivy. Well, at least he admitted it, even if it was while telling Ivy he had a hard time fighting his buried feelings for Steffy... "For all intents and purposes," Wyatt declared to Quinn, "Hope and I are divorced." What intents and purposes? They're either divorced or they're not!

By the time my next column rolls around June 29, we'll be halfway through 2015 (already!), which is a good enough reason to bring back the six-months-in-review column I managed to skip last year. In the meantime, you'll have Chanel's distinctively kick-ass Scoopage next week. Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold!

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of soapcentral.com or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen, what has happened, and to take a look at the logistics of it all. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same view point.

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