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For the Week of August 9, 2004
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Just when you thought it was safe to come into the boardroom at Forrester...we have WAR! Thorne has, rightly so, issued a presidential ultimatum to his parents.

It's about time we had a week at B&B that made me actually PAY ATTENTION throughout the entire 30 minutes. Boring is the word that comes to mind when I think about the weeks leading up to our War of the Forresters. I did, however, have many Pepto Bismol moments watching Mrs. Robinson shove her tongue down a more than willing 16 year old's throat. There's pushing the envelope, and then there is just plain nauseating. I guess the writer's really do think we are all bipolar.

Just when you thought it was safe to come into the boardroom at Forrester...we have WAR! Thorne has, rightly so, had entirely enough of the Fashion Lord and Savior and issued a presidential ultimatum to his parents. It's him or me. Simple as that. Here's a little news flash for the fair-haired president...no matter how good of man you are, no matter what you accomplish, and no matter how much integrity you show to everyone in your life, Ridge will always win. Does this mean that I have fallen, hit my head, and wound up in the Lounge Lizard's corner? Uh, no. What it means is that though the spoilers have presented Eric's answer one way, it's bound to end up that Ridge takes the reigns as CEO. It sucks. It's not fair. The fates are cruel. But it's my fervent hope that Thorne becomes the king of a much more appreciate kingdom than the design house at Dysfunction Junction. Perhaps Thorne is too good to work for his family. Think about it...he didn't leave like Ridge did snubbing his nose at his father and he HAS paid his dues in the basement, contrary to Ridge's insane rantings. Are designs important? Absolutely. And maybe he is the 'best', though the Pubescent Prostitute collection leaves a bit to be desired...like fabric. Ok, so chalk that up to Ridge. Thorne has been on the inside of every other major function of that company, so I think he has 'cut his teeth' enough to deserve some respect from that egomaniac half-brother. It was downright painful to watch him get verbally skewered, though. People that say I don't like ANYONE on the show are mistaken...I like several characters. I just don't like pompous, self-absorbed mean characters that never seem to 'get there's'.

Rumor has it that Thorne will get his opportunity to shine and exact a little sweet revenge on those that have belittled him. Sally is supposed to give him an offer and it will undoubtedly be the coup of the century. All he needs to do is sweet-talk all the industry insiders to do business with Spectra now, and bring on a top flight, cutting edge designer to help make the Knock Off Queen into the Comeback Queen. He could bring respectability to the company and really stick it to Forrester. Of course Ridge fans will say it's just sour grapes, etc. but I think it will show how easy Thorne could slip into role just as prominent as Ridge's. He and Darla could trade in the love shack for a Malibu mansion, and baby Alexandria will grow up and take over just in time to compete with little RJ over at Forrester. With the current rate of aging on this show, it should only be a couple of years before we see all of this anyway!

Speaking of rapid aging, wasn't it just a year ago that Horndog Thomas was 10 years old and raiding the liquor cabinet to deal with losing his mother and then his stepmommy? Now he's following in his father's footsteps with some pre-pubescent skirt chasing. The problem here is that the skirt belongs to the longtime Forrester nemesis, Amber. She has done little to discourage his awkward advances ('...have sex with me') and seems to think this is a game. When she's in jail for rape, it won't be such a great game. Ridge will blow a gasket and rightly so. Brooke will think this is all some sick deju-vu and could make Amber the big murder victim of the summer. People have emailed me and folks have posted on the boards that there should be no difference in how we look at Thomas/Amber or Rick/Caitlin. I disagree. There is a MUCH bigger age difference between the former as we all know Amber was several years older than Rick when she 'babysat' him and Bridget. Assuming Rick is about 23, that would likely put Amber in the LATE 20's. Thomas won't know what hit him! She can't possibly think anything will actually come of it unless she gets pregnant and what a nightmare that would be. So, hey writers, what exactly IS the point with this story? Rick and Caitlin seems much more palatable than this sleazy coupling. She's even driving him home and making out in the driveway for God's sake! Ewwww. By the way, when Brooke left the house to go see Eric, how did she NOT see Amber's car? Amber left after Brooke did. Just a weird editing glitch I guess, but I noticed it.

Anybody notice the strange fixation the writers have with age-impaired couples? Ok, there's the older woman/younger man couples...Deacon-Jackie, Deacon-Brooke, Amber-Thomas, Amber-Rick, Sally-Clarke. Then there is the older man, MUCH younger woman couples...Eric-Brooke, Deacon-Bridget, Ridge-Bridget (oops, sorry!), Rick-Caitlin. Interesting, huh?

My rant for the week...Ridge playing Ward Cleaver with Thomas. He has been chasing after women and partying hard since the same age as his son, yet gives him the third degree when he comes in from a zesty session with Amber. What a hypocrite! Wasn't Morgan a teenager when he impregnated her? He just can't pull off the 'vigilant Dad' role very well. I also must issue a well-deserved rant about how Brooke has been relegated to the sexed-up cheerleader for Ridge. I know I have been hard on her in the past except when she had a shot at being Mrs. Nick Marone, however, it seems like a waste for her to be portrayed overnight as June Cleaver instead of the career woman we have come to know. Good, bad, or indifferent, that's what we are used to. She got close with during her catty exchange with Darla after their attempts to 'stand by their men' at the Forresters. Will she be vacuuming in pearls next week after everything explodes at the office?

I had very interesting responses to last week's question, why do you watch the show? Many said it was good escapist TV and the campy stories gave them a laugh. Others said they really loved the characters over the years and some said they honestly could NOT answer why. They have been so disgusted with the recent storylines that my column is their source for info on the show. I am flattered, of course, and happy they enjoy my 'spin' on things, but how sad to say they won't watch at all due to the drastic and disappointing turns in the stories. Perhaps the promise of the 'Bridge' to the future hasn't delivered as promised. All one has to do is look at the latest ratings. I could be wrong, but I have to believe there are many more that feel the same. I honestly haven't been that eager to watch myself lately.

This week's burning question is a bit more complex...what do you see happening to Thorne in the future? Crash and burn or succeed and kick butt? My answer, I see him eventually coming out better but not before Ridge plays dirty. May take some time, but he will do well. I don't, however, see him ever returning to the Forrester building. I think he'll be a force to be reckoned with and could bring some much needed balance to the male characters on the show. There's Nick and Ridge as primary men...time for Thorne to join the club.

One last note...we got a view of the pills in Felicia's purse. My vote is some form of cancer. She's not a pillpopper but whatever it is, it must be serious for her to erupt on Stephanie the way she did. I'll be the first to admit that Mommy Dearest's attempts at deep emotional bonding left much to be desired. Since the actress who plays Felicia has signed for the year, she won't die right away. It'll be as I predicted... a 'Love Story' plot between her and Nick. Great. If it has to be a Forrester woman, why not Kristen? Maybe Tony could divorce her or something and she could come back permanently to sail on the Good Ship Tequila. That would be a great couple, but the steely and hardnosed Felicia is the current Brooke distraction. And really, could she be anything else?

Until next week, stay in touch with your thoughts...it's the best part of my week when I hear from everybody!

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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