Baby, you can drive my car

For the Week of December 8, 2008
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Baby, you can drive my car
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Eventually, Eric will discover that Donna was not unfaithful to him. But by that time, perhaps she will be with Owen for real, and maybe she will even be pregnant with a little brother for Marcus.

This week, we're taking a break from the usual routine. Our column this week has been provided by Tamilu, who many of our readers know from the General Hospital section, where she's written the Two Scoops for about five years. Tamilu watches GH and B&B -- and she also writes recaps for The Bold and the Beautiful. We'd like to know what you think of Tamilu's column, so drop us a line and let us know what you think.

Hey passionate young ladies! Here is a life lesson from Mama Tamilu. No matter how pissed off you are at your boyfriend, don't grab the steering wheel while he is driving on windy roads that trace the ocean of the side of a cliff. (Or any road for that matter.) This will result in you ending up dead before you get to finish singing your special song to Daddy.

No, I am not making light of Phoebe's death, I know some of you are mourning her loss, but you have to admit she was pretty stupid. The only rational explanation for her behavior is PMS. Which leads me to my second piece of advice to all sisters; don't tell your twin sister that her boyfriend tried to 'hit that' on you while she is PMS-ing. She could go insane and drive said ex-lover over an embankment. Methinks Phoebe should have kept the lucky gypsy necklace instead of giving it to Taylor.

While Phoebe's death might seem pointless, it does open up new storylines for virtually the whole cast. This is a good thing because it means we will have more to watch in the next 6 months than whether Brooke will boink Ridge or Nick, whether Nick will boink Katie, Bridget or Brooke, and whether Ridge will boink Taylor or Brooke.

Phoebe has been off canvas for long enough now that she isn't really a major player, but is connected to nearly all the characters. With the incestuous family tree of the Bold and the Beautiful, Phoebe was related to everyone except possibly Owen and the random nannies who occasionally appear to shuffle kids out of the room. Some of the relationships were convoluted, but still count. For instance. Phoebe was the daughter of Ridge and Taylor. Ridge married Brooke, who was the mother of Rick, which made Rick Phoebe's stepbrother. BUT WAIT! Since Eric was Rick's Dad, and Eric is also Phoebe's Grandpa that meant Rick was also her Uncle. I could go on for four more steps, but I might have already lost you.

But you get the picture. Just like when they killed off Darla - it was sad, but it gave the writers a wealth of material for months afterward. So, from a storytelling point of view, Phoebe's death was a stroke of genius. The first thing it will do is put a serious damper on all the bad dancing going on at Ridge and Brooke's elegant engagement party.

I guess when the writers put all that energy into the Phoebe storyline, they put less effort into the ridiculous "Thorne hired body doubles for Donna and Owen" storyline. Eric ended his relationship with Donna because he thought he saw Donna making out with Owen on his desk. If that were you, wouldn't you confront the person? Wouldn't your first line of accusation have been "Hey b*tch, I saw you with your tongue down Owen's throat."? But not Eric. He played it all close to the vest and never let on what he had seen which is totally unrealistic. Sure, Thorne told Eric that there was a legal issue because they had videotaped them illegally, but I suspect a jilted husband would have spit it out anyway.

But I never really understood the whole attraction between Eric and Donna anyway. I understand Eric finding Donna attractive, sure. And I understand Donna finding Eric's lifestyle attractive, sure. But I had to side with Stephanie for once - between sexual encounters, what in the world did they have in common to talk about? I've been married for 20 years as of last week, and my husband and I have our own language and rhythm. We look at someone and say some line from a 15 year old Saturday Night Live skit. We watched the Macy's parade and saw Rick Astley and we both yelled at the TV "Hey Rick Astley, we have all your HIT." I can't imagine taking up with some 25 year old stud that doesn't get the jokes, or know the songs or have memories to share of kids growing up and family vacations, etc. Eric should be with Stephanie because they shared a life together and he should value and respect all those years. He should not be with Stephanie because he was bamboozled into it by Thorne's scam. (I love the word bamboozled.)

Eventually Eric will discover that Donna was not unfaithful to him. But by that time perhaps she will be with Owen for real, maybe even pregnant with a little brother for Marcus. I would really like to see one Forrester couple grow old together and stop doing switches with their in-laws.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Phoebe keel over too now that her twin sister died and they were SO connected? Will Rick regret trying to score with Steffy? Will Marcus cuss Rick out in French? Will Crazy Aunt Pam bust out of the mental hospital and try to crash the funeral? Will Taylor use her grief as an excuse to hit the sauce?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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