Lemon bars and crocheted bikinis

For the Week of January 12, 2009
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Lemon bars and crocheted bikinis
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Wouldn't it be a hoot if Stephanie met a woman, someone beautiful and desirable, and stunned her family by moving in with her?

Here's what I want to know about the "pamini" (Pam + bikini): does it look good in the water? Can you surf with that thing? Wouldn't the wool come apart once the waves hit the strings? And don't tell me about Brooke and Ridge's product testing in the steam room. That was all about taking the pamini off than it was seeing if it would stay on! Okay, I'm over-thinking this, but even if Eric is a genius at design and fashion, the pamini didn't look like a winner to me. Still, as a plot device, it was great. Pammy is the most fun thing to happen to B&B since Sally Spectra (the late, great Darlene Conley). I say keep her on the show and let her be attached to Owen and Donna at the hip!


Is it just me or have you noticed some underlining meaning to Stephanie's actions the past few weeks? Remember when she walked in on Donna in the tub and rubbed her shoulders - before dunking her in the water? Then this week she helped Brooke hook up her bra. What's up with all that? Maybe B&B is going to finally give Stephanie a bold, new storyline in which she comes out of the closet and declares that she's gay! And would it really be that shocking? Stephanie's had a hetero background, but lately she's been uninterested in men. The last time she and Eric were married, it was clear that their sex life was rather bleak. In one fight, I seem to recall him complaining about it. So, wouldn't it be a hoot if Stephanie met a woman, someone beautiful and desirable, and stunned her family by moving in with her?

While we're on the subject of Stephanie, I think she needs a hobby. Really, she's become nastier and nastier as time goes by. Is there any question in your mind that Eric's going to choose Rick over Stephanie on Monday when the cliffhanger is picked up? I envision Eric telling Stephanie in no uncertain terms that it's time for her to retire, to stop walking the halls of Forrester like Lady MacBeth and get out of the way. Seriously, she was going on and on about how vital she is to the company, how she was the pioneering spirit that set up Forrester Creations as a viable fashion house in Southern California when nobody believed haute couture could survive in L.A. Well, it's a great back story, and it has some elements of truth to it, but I think they're fudging with the history a bit. After all, when B&B began - do you remember back in 1987 - Forrester was an established success. They never were depicted as struggling. Well, whatever, I see Stephanie doing something bold in the next few months to establish her independence from Eric and the Logan-run Forrester Creations.

You could say that the Steffy-Rick romance is bold. I think it's too bold. I don't know about you, but I'm having a really hard time with this relationship. It's come on too fast and with Phoebe's body barely cold, was it really respectful for her twin to find comfort in the arms of Phoebe's first great love? I'm not talking about whether Rick should be held responsible for the accident - he shouldn't - I'm talking about the appropriateness of the romance. Rick was also last seen schtupping Steffy's mom. Yes, remember, he was the boy toy that gave Taylor the nifty idea of giving baby Jack to Papa Nick to raise with the Logan woman in his life at that moment (currently Katie). Never mind that Taylor had successfully been a mommy to Thomas, Steffy and Phoebe through the baby years, never mind that she is a trained psychiatrist who should know how to deal with mother-bonding issues or know who to consult to deal with the syndrome, never mind that most mothers fight like tigers to keep their babies close, never mind...oh, never mind. It's water under the bridge now. The point is that Rick shouldn't be hooking up with anyone right now, especially not Steffy. And Ms. Stephanie Jr. should be feeling grief and loss and sorrow. Passion, lust and hunger is unseemly.


One thing about Steffy's feelings, she's left a major broken heart in her wake. Were you as upset about how she dumped Marcus as I was? That poor, sweet guy will never be the same again. Think about it; is he ever going to trust a nice girl in the future? Any woman he meets in the years ahead will have to prove to him that she's not a Steffy. What's a Steffy? How about a girl from a privileged family who pretends to be a truthful, down to earth regular woman, but is instead a cold-hearted, confused and selfish princess. I just hope this experience doesn't turn Marcus into a serial killer.

Just so you don't think I'm only emphasizing the negative, let me end on a happy note. Make that two happy notes. The first is Owen Knight in a pair of swim trunks. Oh my goodness! No man on this show should strip to the waist after seeing the muscles Brandon Beemer is sporting these days. Ronn Moss, honey, put it in your contract that you have to start wearing a tee-shirt, or else get to Gold's Gym and start pumping iron. Brandon's torso is just a sight to behold. He looks like something out of those abs of steel commercial on ESPN. It's no wonder Bridget was ogling him the other day. By comparison, Nick is downright scrawny. (Of course you do have to wonder what makes Owen qualified to organize a fashion show, let alone create a surf line. I mean, remember when he appeared on the show as a private detective? Then he was a paralegal. Now he's a in the rag trade. Only on the soaps...)

Happy thought #2: it's refreshing to see Donna and Eric all kissy face and blissful. If you're going to put them through so much misery, they deserve some "honey bear" time. Although I have to agree with Tamilu about one thing; in between all the face sucking, how about some real talk about what they want out of life together and what keeps the fires burning. It can't all be hot sex. Maybe Donna should open up and tell Eric about how Marcus came to be, or her time in San Francisco. Maybe Eric could talk to Donna about doing some traveling now that he's healthy again. What does he want to do now that he's got his life back? What is he going to say if Donna reveals that she wants to have a baby? You see where I'm going... So, till next week. Keep reading and please check out all the great innovations Soap Central is coming up with for the New Year! You're gonna love it!

Allison J. Waldman
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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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