Whip it!

For the Week of July 20, 2009
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Whip it!
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When Ridge turns Brooke's pleas to reunite down cold, perhaps Whip will be handy with a shoulder for her to cry on, or a body to warm her bed. We know how Brooke gets when she's lonely.

When I saw Rick Hearst's face in the doorway at Jackie M, my heart skipped a beat. I adore Rick Hearst and am so happy he has taken up residence in L.A. at The Bold and the Beautiful. For those who haven't seen him before, expect a treat. Hearst spent the last 7 years playing twisted brother and wanna-be mobster Ric Lansing, half brother of Sonny Corinthos on General Hospital. Trust me Port Charles' loss is L.A.'s gain.

I missed his last stint as Whip Jones, but I know he was married to Brooke. When Ridge turns Brooke's pleas to reunite down cold, perhaps Whip will be handy with a shoulder for her to cry on, or a body to warm her bed. We know how Brooke gets when she's lonely.

Katie Logan doesn't seem to do well alone, because since Nick remarried Bridget, Katie has spent an awful lot of time sniffing around Bill Spencer's office. But seriously, can you blame her? Bill is charming in his own warped way, and Katie seems convinced she can fix him. The guy is so smooth he nearly had Katie convinced to flip the switch on her sister's embarrassing photos. But, at the last minute the spell was broken and Bill made the choice solo. And Katie still wanted him after he purposely humiliated her sister Donna. Now that is major lust.

What do you think dear readers? Is Bill just a greedy selfish jerk with so soul, or is there a hidden reason he is so hell bent on taking over Eric's company? I think he has a motivation and I am dying to know what it is. Wouldn't it be fun if Bill turned out to be Eric's illegitimate son from some one night stand fling he had with Bill Spencer Sr.'s wife?

Katie appears determined to break Bill Spencer's hard shell and find out what soft squishy stuff is hiding underneath. Bill gave her fair warning she wouldn't like what she found. But I will be very interested in watching her dig; the two of them have great chemistry together.

Every time I need to laugh next week, I am going to conjure up Eric Forrester's office promotions. Eric promoted Marcus to Thorne's old job because he believed Marcus "had good instincts." Um, good instincts at what? Sorting the mail? Marcus' main job at Forrester has been sorting and delivering mail, so if you need someone who has good instincts about whether to deliver mail to the first floor or the third floor first, Marcus is probably your guy.

But, if you needed someone with good instincts about fashion design, wouldn't you put an ad in the paper and hire someone with experience in the fashion industry? No. no. that's too much hassle, just promote the guy from the mailroom. Not only was he sorting mail, it appeared that Marcus was off sick a lot of days because we didn't see him for months.

Marcus shot down the ideas of the more experienced Rick Forrester, and tossed out his own idea, make Steffy model. Steffy objected, but the family pressured her to agree. Since she has no backbone or hasn't read the book Boundaries she let them bully her into modeling. She was stiff and uncomfortable. But, I assume everyone will kiss her butt and tell her she did great because she is Ridge's daughter.

Then he promoted his bimbo wife Donna to Stephanie's old job, which Donna has proved time and time again she was incapable of doing. Donna is a simple girl; all she wants to do is pour honey on her old wrinkly husband and lick it off. She doesn't have much of a head for business.

Thomas and Steffy get to split Felicia's old job, and frankly, I had no idea what Felicia did other than rant about the way her dad treated her mom. Was she actually responsible for things? Well, if so, Thomas and Steffy get to split those duties. Thomas who had 2 counseling sessions after attempting to blow up Rick's car and burn down his house, and Steffy who went after her dead sister's boyfriend. Yes, sure, they will be perfect for the job.

I hope nepotism, doesn't save the day and that Jackie M triumphs in the big battle of the fashion houses, just on principle.

Jackie M has its own problems, namely the fact that they hired quirky mental case Pam as their executive assistant. She didn't even try to hide her insanity in the interview- in fact she led with it. But, they hired her anyway for Stephanie's sake. But Pam is always good for a lot of laughs, so I am not going to complain.

However, I will offer a handy job tip to any B&B viewers - if you go to a real job interview, do NOT talk about your brief stint in the mental hospital, call yourself an "odd duck" or show the interviewer photos of your dead dog. It worked for Pam, but it won't for you. Period.

I really hope Whip can amuse Brooke for awhile because the Ridge/Brooke/Taylor triangle nauseates me. Do you recall when Taylor first came back from the dead? The ladies told Ridge he had to choose between them. Ridge couldn't decide who to pick for weeks. If we have another round of that, I will start a campaign to have Rick throw him off the Skye Lounge for real.

There are photos of the honey drenched Donna on every fashion magazine on the newsstands, and I wish something like that would actually happen. I might actually buy a copy of a fashion magazine if it had a honey drenched glittery model on the cover. I would hang it on my fridge to cheer me up when I was having a bad day.

Does anyone but me think Thomas and Steffy are way too involved in their parents' sex life? I understand they are happy their parents are back together, but to have the kids setting up elaborate romantic encounters is kind of creepy. Most teens don't even want to consider the fact that their parents have sex much less assist them in doing it.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will the Jackie M models get so fat eating Pam's lemon bars that they won't fit into their gowns? Will Brooke be able to come up with a fake reason she needs to see Ridge every single day? Will Taylor refill the prescription for the anti anxiety meds Ridge downed? Will Marcus get demoted back to the mailroom when his graffiti/fashion gown promotion doesn't sell any designer duds?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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