Has your week been bold and beautiful? Did you take your son back to the drawing board? Did your temp job come with pecs -- er, perks? Did you learn that secrets never have an open-door policy? These and more situations faced the Forrester-Logan-Spencer-Buckingham-Fulton clan this week!
All bets are off, Scoopers! L.A. got a little bit of Vegas action, between Shauna helping Katie roll the dice on Bill, and Flo thinking she hit the jackpot by getting to move into the Forrester mansion. I've heard of "third time lucky," but I wouldn't put any money down on Batie Part III just yet if I were you. And Zoe nearly yelled "Craps!" when Hope overheard her tipping her hand! Y'all ready? Let's Scoop about it!
LUCK OF THE DRAW
While Liam waited to hear from Hope whether their marriage was over, Thomas interjected that he and Hope would have a great life. Smooth, Thomas, considering you and Hope have no relationship! How do these folks always want to walk down the aisle when they have zero foundation with their supposed beloveds? Thomas and Hope don't even have a past relationship to fall back on, despite the slight history rewrite.
Hope finally gave Liam an answer by giving Thomas an answer. "My first priority and responsibility is my husband and my marriage," Hope declared. Turning to Liam, she added, "I would not be here if it wasn't for you." Eat that, Thomas! Once Thomas sulked out, Liam suggested to Hope that they get their own place. Kick-ass idea, even if soap budgets prevent every character from having a personal crib.
Back at the Logan manse, Douglas told his dad he wanted to see Hope. Is that all this kid does? Shouldn't he be in school? An education might not hurt; then, Douglas might catch on to how he's being used to get Thomas into Hope's heart. Thomas commissioned another drawing from the boy and smirked that all was going to work out. Did Thomas get hit over the head by a mugger in NYC? 'Cuz the dude ain't right.
Thomas is venturing further and further out of character with each appearance. Can you see Drew Tyler Bell's Thomas or Pierson Fodé's Thomas manipulating a kid just to get some? Even Adam Gregory's Thomas probably wouldn't go that far. And why does Hope doubt Liam's assertion that Thomas is dangling Douglas like a carrot? Hope's not naïve anymore, and she's seen the slimy side of Thomas before. Get woke, Hope!
DEAL ME IN
Over at Wyatt's beach house, he and Flo were in their own world. No, really, they were -- it was nighttime there, and daylight everywhere else in Los Angeles. Whoops! Although Sally had just moved out an hour or so earlier, Wyatt convinced Flo they should take a shot continuing their teenage romance. Wyatt's being a pig, but at least he had the good sense to ask Flo out on a date.
I mean, that's how people usually roll, but, more often than not, B&B characters skip that step and go straight to full-on romance. Can't say I've never done that and/or tried to do that myself. Maybe I saw too many soaps not giving me the best example! Wyatt threw cold water on his moment when he suddenly decided to whine to Flo about how Sally had kept that deal-breaking secret about Thomas.
"I would have stayed true to her," Wyatt opined about Sally, "but I guess she didn't want to stay true to me." Wow! Did Zoe leave behind some of her paint thinner for Wyatt to sniff? Wyatt wasn't true to Sally by kissing Flo before he knew she was keeping Thomas' secret! I really need for Sally to get wind of all this and smack the s**t out of Wyatt. Maybe I'll reach through my monitor and do it myself.
HOUSE OF CARDS
In Beverly Hills, Eric sipped his traditional martini while Quinn quaffed some tequila. Um, isn't Jose Cuervo what got Quinn in trouble with Ridge the first time they kissed in San Francisco? Anyway, Quinn told Eric she'd been thinking about Shauna and Flo living in that little dinky apartment. Quinn spoke of how Shauna had taken her and Wyatt in back in Vegas when things were going south for the Fullers.
You know, inventing backstory for these characters is frequently a stretch, but I find, with the Fullers and Fultons, it totally works. It's even kind of touching that Quinn actually has a friend! And not one she tried to make out of deviousness, like with Pam. Quinn wanted to repay Shauna's kindness by asking Shauna and Flo to move in, and she asked if Eric would be okay with that.
Well, of course Eric would! The Forrester mansion has been a halfway house for assorted Forresters and extended family and friends for years. Eric could make a killing if he just went the next step and turned the place into an AirBnB (pun absolutely intended). But how is it Quinn and Eric have been living there alone? I thought they had a house full of people. Maybe the Logan manse has better Wi-Fi.
Shauna could barely hide the dollar signs in her eyes as she toured Casa Forrester, though I did feel that her connection to Quinn was sincere. Flo, of course, looked like she wanted to throw up when she learned Eric was handing over the keys. Would they stay, Quinn wanted to know? Naturally, a cliffhanger was made out of it, but we already knew the answer. Gotta keep that number of sets to a minimum!
Quinn babbled about hiring a moving van to grab Flo and Shauna's stuff. They should only have a few duffle bags -- isn't that Reese's apartment? I would assume it's styled with Reese's furniture, unless he rented a furnished place. Did he sign the lease over to Flo? Well, none of that mattered, as Shauna blurted out to Flo, with Quinn in the other room, "You're thinking about that secret, aren't you?"
Wasn't it Shauna who made the pact to never bring it up again? Let alone right at Ground Zero, a mistake Zoe also made this week, but we'll get to that. We know there's a secret; we don't need the constant reminders. Maybe it would even be better to delve into other stories and let us forget about it so the secret, and any reveal, will be that much more shocking when it comes back into the spotlight.
THE CARDS (AND MORE) ARE STACKED
Actually, we did delve into another story for the majority of the week. Katie was dishing with Brooke, wondering if Bill could be trusted. Katie girl, you can look right into Brooke's face, of all people, and ask that question? Katie had been about to change her mind about accepting Bill's proposal when she saw Bill in heavy conversation with Shauna at Il Giardino. Katie couldn't stop thinking about it!
Katie is acting like she's still that sixteen-year-old girl fretting that boys wouldn't like her because of her zits. Katie turned Bill down -- if Bill wanted to run out that very night and hire a harem of hookers, that would have been his prerogative. Right, Ted? We outta here! (Just a little Bobby Brown reference there.) No, Katie wanted to make sure there ain't nobody humpin' around and found the perfect hump to find out.
I mean my humps! What's a new relative if you can't get her to use her lovely lady lumps to do your bidding? Katie first wanted to determine nothing was going on between Bill and Shauna (and, considering Batie has no romantic relationship, if there was, it was strictly Bill's business). Satisfied with Shauna's denials, Katie decided to sic Shauna on Bill to test him.
Katie has done this before, you know. Except in 2013 it was camera equipment, not another woman's equipment, that Katie used to test Bill's fidelity. Remember when Katie outfitted her house with nanny cams to make sure Bill and Brooke weren't boffing? This time, Katie wanted Shauna to put her on speakerphone so she could hear whatever Bill's reaction was to Shauna's attempt at seduction.
Amazingly, Brooke was against her sis's seductive scheme! Maybe Brooke was remembering the sex room Bill installed in his office so he could cheat on Katie with her; wonder what happened to that? Katie sent Shauna to Bill's; though Bill was spending the day with Will, their son leaving for a sleepover would assure Bill was all by his lonesome. Like Douglas, shouldn't Will have been in school?
LOADING THE DICE
At Bill's place, where hopefully someone's gotten his blood out of the carpet from 2018's shooting, Justin shared a warm moment with Will then got some hangtime with the Dollah. I have to say, Bill and Justin are the best friends on this show. It's just too bad Justin never gets his own storyline! First, he reported Emma having a birthday, then, he had to listen to Bill talking about wanting Katie to see he'd changed.
I think I'd be buying this more, except Bill only wanted to "change" last fall because of Brooke, not Katie! And even then, it seemed more like a scam to get Brooke back into his bed. Now, Bill misses things about Katie. Are y'all feelin' this? Justin seemed to, as he was full-on Team Batie. I had to laugh, though. Sometimes, I still think Bill is better suited to Justin than anyone else!
The show knows it, too. When Justin said Bill couldn't surprise him, Bill scoffed, "Why would I wanna surprise your ugly ass? I don't wanna marry you!" To which Justin replied, "Well, that's too bad because I respond really well to expensive things." Okay, Justin got a little stereotypical on that one. But it was still funny as hell. Justin bid Bill goodnight, but suddenly, Shauna was there, without even an entrance scene.
Shauna was able to find Bill's digs because his address was on one of those Hollywood celebrity maps. Bill's a publishing magnate, not a movie or rock star; would that really be? Bill apologized for freaking out about the idea he might have been Flo's fatherthen showed Shauna some of the Great Spencerini tricks he does for Will. Shauna had her own trick -- making Bill's shirt disappear!
That spilling-a-drink-on-someone trick is the oldest one in the soap book, but Shauna pulled it off smoothly as she unexpectedly lunged toward Bill and drenched his shirt with vino. When he went upstairs to change, Shauna hurriedly called Katie and put her on speakerphone, only to find Katie standing next to her in Bill's living room.
Aside from the fact that Bill should have been able to hear Shauna talking to someone downstairs, Katie then made the inexplicable choice to monitor Shauna's potential monkey business with Bill right there in the living room! What did she need to do that for? She couldn't have listened from her car? (I know...gotta keep those sets at a minimum...)
WHAT WERE THE ODDS?
Upstairs, having caught Bill shirtless (and what a lucky girl), Shauna started cooking on all burners. She told him he was the greatest lover she'd ever had. ("Surprised?" she cooed. "No," Bill said as he laughed. That's the Bill we know!) Shauna remembered his big hands (metaphor!) and thought she and Bill should relieve their respective dry spells together. They kissed, and Katie listened to their slurping via Bluetooth!
And then, the strangest thing happened. Bill slammed on the brakes. He thought Shauna was hot (too bad he didn't say she was drop dead gorgeous, which would have been a nod to portrayer Denise Richards' 1999 movie!), but he couldn't do it. He was in love with Katie! Good thing Katie hadn't used Tammy Faye Bakker's brand of mascara, because Katie was bawlin' when she heard that.
Bill then went on a minutes-long monologue about how much he wanted Katie in his life. "I have no idea why I'm saying all this to you," Bill confessed. I do! Because Katie needed to hear this extended speech. "She made me a changed man," Bill went on. Danger, Katie Logan! Bill has made that claim many times before, and he also attributed being a changed man to Brooke when they were together. Don't fall for it!
Shauna took her, um, chips, and left, leaving Katie to surreptitiously appear in Bill's doorway. He was surprised to hear that although she had indeed turned down his marriage proposal out of fear he couldn't be trusted, she didn't feel that way anymore. Katie would be his wife, if he'd still have her. Then they sealed the deal with a kiss! Eww, Katie's getting Shauna's spittle from a few minutes ago!
KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM, KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM
While Katie and Shauna were working to see if Bill's Batie devotion was the act of a counterfeit Bill, Brooke got on the horn to Donna and had her come over with Justin in tow. Justin and Donna had been out to dinner? I got a vibe it was a date, but I hope not. Donna never did find out that Justin kissed his South African doctor friend, Malaika Maponya, while he and Donna were married. I didn't forget!
Brooke worried that Katie was making a huge mistake, having earlier told her little sister, "If your trust issues run so deep with Bill, maybe you should reconsider marrying him." And that's Brooke saying that! Brooke Logan, who never met a wedding she didn't like! But Justin had a feeling his main man would prove himself. And I realized that, if anyone would know, Justin would.
After all, Justin is the guy Bill spends most of his time with, and Justin knows all of Bill's tricks. If Bill really were faking his changes, Justin would catch on right away. Still, I don't know that I believe Bill has changed -- or that he even should. Though Bill went too far the last couple of years with his dastardly deeds, I wonder if a kinder, gentler Bill would be as interesting a character.
But Justin's opinion of Bill seemed to me the only point of that scene. The rest of it was just him, Donna, and Brooke sitting around talking because they needed the screen time. And even after we saw Katie take Bill back, Justin and the Logan sisters wrung their hands that Katie's scheme would backfire, which was anticlimactic. Adding Hope to that mix didn't make the scene any more necessary.
Well, Bill didn't know why Katie changed her mind, but he was awfully glad. Katie just wasn't sure he'd still feel that way when she told him she'd totally punked him with Shauna. Instead of being torqued by Katie's game-playing, Bill simply asked, "Have you ever known me to close a big business deal without doing a little reconnaissance first?" It even turned him on that she had outsmarted him! Hell, Steffy could have told Katie about that kink nine years ago when she seduced control of Forrester out of him! It's consistent, no doubt about that.
And while we're on such time markers, this week happened to be Don Diamont's tenth anniversary on B&B. Plus, I think Bill met Katie in his first week, so Batie Part III is all kinds of full circle. Bill went on to tell Will a bedtime story about how Queen Mommy Katie had vanquished King Bill's loneliness -- doing a nifty impression of Justin to boot -- and they all lived happily ever after.
I don't know about that. Despite admitting it and apologizing for it, Bill has done too many things to Katie for me to be behind a third marriage. Also, Bill has only been with Katie and Brooke (and briefly Steffy) his whole decade on the show. It might have been novel to see him with Shauna, especially because she seems as devious as he is. I think Bill and Katie have too much baggage to make this work. But I guess we'll see.
THE CHIPS ARE DOWN
As Flo dragged her suitcases into the Forrester foyer, she was surprised to see Zoe barging through the open door. How did Zoe find out the Fultons were now the Forresters' houseguests? Did Shauna post that selfie she took there with Flo on every available platform? Well, Zoe wasn't bringing Flo a housewarming gift. She thought Flo should keep her distance from the baby switch victims, not move in with them!
It's getting a little old, isn't it? Pretty much every conversation Flo has with Zoe or Shauna entails one of them telling her to keep her mouth shut. Though Zoe was right when she said, "I'm trying to protect us all -- how can I do that when you keep putting yourself in impossible situations?" It's true -- if Flo gets any closer to Hope, she might as well be her Siamese twin.
My question is, why didn't the Logans offer Flo and Shauna a place to squat? Flo's their relative! Of course, if they had, we wouldn't have seen Eric this week, and I need more Eric on this show, please. Also, did Flo burn through that $50K she got from Reese already? Maybe she's taking free apartments and free mansions so she can keep that cash for a rainy day.
That rainy day may be coming sooner than later! Zoe did try to ascertain that she and Flo were alone, but still, why are soap people always so stupid as to discuss secrets in places they're sure to be overheard? You don't try to pull one over on the Forresters and then talk about it in their house. Duh! But Zoe revealed another motivation for wanting Flo out of the way.
"You can't keep messing with my life like this!" Zoe insisted. "And you can't keep messing with your accent!" Flo replied. (No, she didn't. Just kidding.) Zoe was firm. Hope could never learn about Beth. Well, I guess "never" means about five seconds, because Hope walked in, having heard Zoe's reprimand! Forget that movie What About Bob? -- Hope demanded they watch some What About Beth?!
Well, Scoopers, I don't know how Flo and Zoe are going to talk their way out of this one. Is the Secret of Phoebeth coming out in time for May Sweeps and Steffy's return on May 23? Should Thomas just try speed dating instead of using Douglas as an aphrodisiac for Hope? And could "the third time's the charm" possibly work for Bill and Katie? Place your bets in the Comments section below or on the Soap Central message boards, or simply click here to submit feedback. Your comments could wind up in a future column! Like these!
"Thomas and Hope are step-brother and step-sister. Just because they are not related by blood doesn't mean that they aren't related! This sick fantasy of Thomas' is just that...sick! Also, while it is ideal for kids to be raised by a mommy and a daddy, there are a lot of successful single parents out there who do a great job of raising their children. Thomas telling Liam to 'man up' is laughable! Thomas needs to 'man up' and stop using his son as a pawn to snag a woman!" -- "thomascd"
"I am torn about the Katie/Bill deal. I kind of like them together but I also think her going back to him again is bad. This nice Bill I am not sure about." -- "Sam the Mailman"
"Michael, great column!... [The show's] raison d'être is wash, rinse, repeat! Each time the story gets weaker like the fabric would with all that time in the washing machine! Kudos to the actors that have to bring this...writing to the screen. Congrats to [Jacqueline MacInnes Wood on her Emmy win]...I also want give Kudos to Annika [Noelle] as the new Hope, she actually brought nuance to the character." -- Marlene
That's all I got this go-round, Scoopers -- thanks as always for reading through my ramblings! I've got two more columns to go before Chanel and I start alternating again, so I'll also be with you next week for more fun and frolic. Keep watching, be alert, and most of all, be bold. And remember: no matter color, creed, religion, gender identity, orientation, or nationality, we're all beautiful.
What are your thoughts on The Bold and the Beautiful? What did you think of this week's Two Scoops? We want to hear from you -- and there are many ways you can share your thoughts.